the monk(僧侣)-第91章

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threw　myself　upon　the　ground；　and　rolled　upon　it　wild　and
desperate：　　Sometimes　starting　up；　I　returned　to　the　door；　again
strove　to　force　it　open；　and　repeated　my　fruitless　cries　for
succour。　Often　was　I　on　the　point　of　striking　my　temple　against
the　sharp　corner　of　some　Monument；　dashing　out　my　brains；　and
thus　terminating　my　woes　at　once；　But　still　the　remembrance　of　my
Baby　vanquished　my　resolution：　I　trembled　at　a　deed　which
equally　endangered　my　Child's　existence　and　my　own。　　Then　would　I
vent　my　anguish　in　loud　exclamations　and　passionate　complaints；
and　then　again　my　strength　failing　me；　silent　and　hopeless　I
would　sit　me　down　upon　the　base　of　St。　Clare's　Statue；　fold　my
arms；　and　abandon　myself　to　sullen　despair。　　Thus　passed　several
wretched　hours。　　Death　advanced　towards　me　with　rapid　strides；
and　I　expected　that　every　succeeding　moment　would　be　that　of　my
dissolution。　　Suddenly　a　neighbouring　Tomb　caught　my　eye：　　A
Basket　stood　upon　it；　which　till　then　I　had　not　observed。　　I
started　from　my　seat：　　I　made　towards　it　as　swiftly　as　my
exhausted　frame　would　permit。　　How　eagerly　did　I　seize　the
Basket；　on　finding　it　to　contain　a　loaf　of　coarse　bread　and　a
small　bottle　of　water。

I　threw　myself　with　avidity　upon　these　humble　aliments。　They　had
to　all　appearance　been　placed　in　the　Vault　for　several　days；　The
bread　was　hard；　and　the　water　tainted；　Yet　never　did　I　taste　food
to　me　so　delicious。　　When　the　cravings　of　appetite　were
satisfied；　I　busied　myself　with　conjectures　upon　this　new
circumstance：　I　debated　whether　the　Basket　had　been　placed　there
with　a　view　to　my　necessity。　　Hope　answered　my　doubts　in　the
affirmative。　　Yet　who　could　guess　me　to　be　in　need　of　such
assistance？　　If　my　existence　was　known；　why　was　I　detained　in
this　gloomy　Vault？　　If　I　was　kept　a　Prisoner；　what　meant　the
ceremony　of　committing　me　to　the　Tomb？　　Or　if　I　was　doomed　to
perish　with　hunger；　to　whose　pity　was　I　indebted　for　provisions
placed　within　my　reach？　　A　Friend　would　not　have　kept　my　dreadful
punishment　a　secret；　Neither　did　it　seem　probable　that　an　Enemy
would　have　taken　pains　to　supply　me　with　the　means　of　existence。　
Upon　the　whole　I　was　inclined　to　think　that　the　Domina's　designs
upon　my　life　had　been　discovered　by　some　one　of　my　Partizans　in
the　Convent；　who　had　found　means　to　substitute　an　opiate　for
poison：　That　She　had　furnished　me　with　food　to　support　me；　till
She　could　effect　my　delivery：　　And　that　She　was　then　employed　in
giving　intelligence　to　my　Relations　of　my　danger；　and　pointing
out　a　way　to　release　me　from　captivity。　　Yet　why　then　was　the
quality　of　my　provisions　so　coarse？　　How　could　my　Friend　have
entered　the　Vault　without　the　Domina's　knowledge？　　And　if　She　had
entered；　why　was　the　Door　fastened　so　carefully？　　These
reflections　staggered　me：　　Yet　still　this　idea　was　the　most
favourable　to　my　hopes；　and　I　dwelt　upon　it　in　preference。

My　meditations　were　interrupted　by　the　sound　of　distant
footsteps。　　They　approached；　but　slowly。　　Rays　of　light　now
darted　through　the　crevices　of　the　Door。　Uncertain　whether　the
Persons　who　advanced　came　to　relieve　me；　or　were　conducted　by
some　other　motive　to　the　Vault；　I　failed　not　to　attract　their
notice　by　loud　cries　for　help。　　Still　the　sounds　drew　near：　　The
light　grew　stronger：　　At　length　with　inexpressible　pleasure　I
heard　the　Key　turning　in　the　Lock。　　Persuaded　that　my　deliverance
was　at　hand；　I　flew　towards　the　Door　with　a　shriek　of　joy。　　It
opened：　　But　all　my　hopes　of　escape　died　away；　when　the　Prioress
appeared　followed　by　the　same　four　Nuns；　who　had　been　witnesses
of　my　supposed　death。　　They　bore　torches　in　their　hands；　and
gazed　upon　me　in　fearful　silence。

I　started　back　in　terror。　　The　Domina　descended　into　the　Vault；
as　did　also　her　Companions。　　She　bent　upon　me　a　stern　resentful
eye；　but　expressed　no　surprize　at　finding　me　still　living。　　She
took　the　seat　which　I　had　just　quitted：　The　door　was　again
closed；　and　the　Nuns　ranged　themselves　behind　their　Superior；
while　the　glare　of　their　torches；　dimmed　by　the　vapours　and
dampness　of　the　Vault；　gilded　with　cold　beams　the　surrounding
Monuments。　　For　some　moments　all　preserved　a　dead　and　solemn
silence。　　I　stood　at　some　distance　from　the　Prioress。　　At　length
She　beckoned　me　to　advance。　　Trembling　at　the　severity　of　her
aspect　my　strength　scarce　sufficed　me　to　obey　her。　　I　drew　near；
but　my　limbs　were　unable　to　support　their　burthen。　　I　sank　upon
my　knees；　I　clasped　my　hands；　and　lifted　them　up　to　her　for
mercy；　but　had　no　power　to　articulate　a　syllable。

She　gazed　upon　me　with　angry　eyes。

'Do　I　see　a　Penitent；　or　a　Criminal？'　She　said　at　length；　'Are
those　hands　raised　in　contrition　for　your　crimes；　or　in　fear　of
meeting　their　punishment？　　Do　those　tears　acknowledge　the　justice
of　your　doom；　or　only　solicit　mitigation　of　your　sufferings？　　I
fear　me；　'tis　the　latter！'

She　paused；　but　kept　her　eye　still　fixt　upon　mine。

'Take　courage；'　She　continued：　　'I　wish　not　for　your　death；　but
your　repentance。　　The　draught　which　I　administered；　was　no
poison；　but　an　opiate。　　My　intention　in　deceiving　you　was　to
make　you　feel　the　agonies　of　a　guilty　conscience；　had　Death
overtaken　you　suddenly　while　your　crimes　were　still　unrepented。　
You　have　suffered　those　agonies：　　I　have　brought　you　to　be
familiar　with　the　sharpness　of　death；　and　I　trust　that　your
momentary　anguish　will　prove　to　you　an　eternal　benefit。　　It　is
not　my　design　to　destroy　your　immortal　soul；　or　bid　you　seek　the
grave；　burthened　with　the　weight　of　sins　unexpiated。　　No；
Daughter；　far　from　it：　　I　will　purify　you　with　wholesome
chastisement；　and　furnish　you　with　full　leisure　for　contrition
and　remorse。　　Hear　then　my　sentence；　The　ill…judged　zeal　of　your
Friends　delayed　its　execution；　but　cannot　now　prevent　it。　　All
Madrid　believes　you　to　be　no　more；　Your　Relations　are　thoroughly
persuaded　of　your　death；　and　the　Nuns　your　Partizans　have
assisted　at　your　funeral。　　Your　existence　can　never　be　suspected；
I　have　taken　such　precautions；　as　must　render　it　an　impenetrable
mystery。　　Then　abandon　all　thoughts　of　a　World　from　which　you　are
eternally　separated；　and　employ　the　few　hours　which　are　allowed
you；　in　preparing　for　the　next。'

This　exordium　led　me　to　expect　something　terrible。　　I　trembled；
and　would　have　spoken　to　deprecate　her　wrath：　but　a　motion　of　the
Domina　commanded　me　to　be　silent。　　She　proceeded。

'Though　of　late　years　unjustly　neglected；　and　now　opposed　by　many
of　our　misguided　Sisters；　（whom　Heaven　convert！）　it　is　my
intention　to　revive　the　laws　of　our　order　in　their　full　force。　
That　against　incontinence　is　severe；　but　no　more　than　so
monstrous　an　offence　demands：　Submit　to　it；　Daughter；　without
resistance；　You　will　find　the　benefit　of　patience　and　resignation
in　a　better　life　than　this。　　Listen　then　to　the　sentence　of　St。
Clare。　　Beneath　these　Vaults　there　exist　Prisons；　intended　to
receive　such　criminals　as　yourself：　　Artfully　is　their　entrance
concealed；　and　She　who　enters　them；　must　resign　all　hopes　of
liberty。　　Thither　must　you　now　be　conveyed。　　Food　shall　be
supplied　you；　but　not　sufficient　for　the　indulgence　of　appetite：　
You　shall　have　just　enough　to　keep　together　body　and　soul；　and
its　quality　shall　be　the　simplest　and　coarsest。　　Weep；　Daughter；
weep；　and　moisten　your　bread　with　your　tears：　　God　knows　that
you　have　ample　cause　for　sorrow！　　Chained　down　in　one　of　these
secret　dungeons；　shut　out　from　the　world　and　light　for　ever；　with
no　comfort　but　religion；　no　society　but　repentance；　thus　must　you
groan　away　the　remainder　of　your　days。　　Such　are　St。　Clare's
orders；　Submit　to　them　without　repining。　　Follow　me！'

Thunderstruck　at　this　barbarous　decree；　my　little　remaining
strength　abandoned　me。　　I　answered　only　by　falling　at　her　feet；
and　bathing　them　with　tears。　　The　Domina；　unmoved　by　my
affliction；　rose　from　her　seat　with　a　stately　air。　　She　repeated
her　commands　in　an　absolute　tone：　　But　my　excessive　faintness
made　me　unable　to　obey　her。　　Mariana　and　Alix　raised　me　from　the
ground；　and　carried　me　forwards　in　their　arms。　　The　Prioress
moved　on；　leaning　upon　Violante；　and　Camilla　preceded　her　with　a
Torch。　　Thus　passed　our　sad