the monk(僧侣)-第52章

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'Nothing　else？'

'Nothing。'

'The　Morning　is　on　the　point　of　breaking。　　Let　us　retire　to　the
Abbey；　lest　daylight　should　betray　us。'

With　a　light　step　She　hastened　from　the　burying…ground。　　She
regained　her　Cell；　and　the　curious　Abbot　still　accompanied　her。　
She　closed　the　door；　and　disembarrassed　herself　of　her　Lamp　and
Basket。

'I　have　succeeded！'　She　cried；　throwing　herself　upon　his　bosom：　
'Succeeded　beyond　my　fondest　hopes！　　I　shall　live；　Ambrosio；
shall　live　for　you！　　The　step　which　I　shuddered　at　taking
proves　to　me　a　source　of　joys　inexpressible！　　Oh！　that　I　dared
communicate　those　joys　to　you！　　Oh！　that　I　were　permitted　to
share　with　you　my　power；　and　raise　you　as　high　above　the　level　of
your　sex；　as　one　bold　deed　has　exalted　me　above　mine！'

'And　what　prevents　you；　Matilda？'　interrupted　the　Friar；　'Why　is
your　business　in　the　Cavern　made　a　secret？　　Do　you　think　me
undeserving　of　your　confidence？　　Matilda；　I　must　doubt　the　truth
of　your　affection；　while　you　have　joys　in　which　I　am　forbidden　to
share。'

'You　reproach　me　with　injustice。　　I　grieve　sincerely　that　I　am
obliged　to　conceal　from　you　my　happiness。　　But　I　am　not　to　blame：
The　fault　lies　not　in　me；　but　in　yourself；　my　Ambrosio！　　You　are
still　too　much　the　Monk。　　Your　mind　is　enslaved　by　the　prejudices
of　Education；　And　Superstition　might　make　you　shudder　at　the　idea
of　that　which　experience　has　taught　me　to　prize　and　value。　　At
present　you　are　unfit　to　be　trusted　with　a　secret　of　such
importance：　　But　the　strength　of　your　judgment；　and　the　curiosity
which　I　rejoice　to　see　sparkling　in　your　eyes；　makes　me　hope
that　you　will　one　day　deserve　my　confidence。　　Till　that　period
arrives；　restrain　your　impatience。　　Remember　that　you　have　given
me　your　solemn　oath　never　to　enquire　into　this　night's
adventures。　　I　insist　upon　your　keeping　this　oath：　For　though'
She　added　smiling；　while　She　sealed　his　lips　with　a　wanton　kiss；
'Though　I　forgive　your　breaking　your　vows　to　heaven；　I　expect　you
to　keep　your　vows　to　me。'

The　Friar　returned　the　embrace　which　had　set　his　blood　on　fire。　
The　luxurious　and　unbounded　excesses　of　the　former　night　were
renewed；　and　they　separated　not　till　the　Bell　rang　for　Matins。

The　same　pleasures　were　frequently　repeated。　　The　Monks　rejoiced
in　the　feigned　Rosario's　unexpected　recovery；　and　none　of　them
suspected　his　real　sex。　　The　Abbot　possessed　his　Mistress　in
tranquillity；　and　perceiving　his　frailty　unsuspected；　abandoned
himself　to　his　passions　in　full　security。　　Shame　and　remorse　no
longer　tormented　him。　　Frequent　repetitions　made　him　familiar
with　sin；　and　his　bosom　became　proof　against　the　stings　of
Conscience。　　In　these　sentiments　He　was　encouraged　by　Matilda；
But　She　soon　was　aware　that　She　had　satiated　her　Lover　by　the
unbounded　freedom　of　her　caresses。　　Her　charms　becoming
accustomed　to　him；　they　ceased　to　excite　the　same　desires　which
at　first　they　had　inspired。　　The　delirium　of　passion　being　past；
He　had　leisure　to　observe　every　trifling　defect：　　Where　none　were
to　be　found；　Satiety　made　him　fancy　them。　　The　Monk　was　glutted
with　the　fullness　of　pleasure：　　A　Week　had　scarcely　elapsed
before　He　was　wearied　of　his　Paramour：　His　warm　constitution
still　made　him　seek　in　her　arms　the　gratification　of　his　lust：　
But　when　the　moment　of　passion　was　over；　He　quitted　her　with
disgust；　and　his　humour；　naturally　inconstant；　made　him　sigh
impatiently　for　variety。

Possession；　which　cloys　Man；　only　increases　the　affection　of
Woman。　　Matilda　with　every　succeeding　day　grew　more　attached　to
the　Friar。　　Since　He　had　obtained　her　favours；　He　was　become
dearer　to　her　than　ever；　and　She　felt　grateful　to　him　for　the
pleasures　in　which　they　had　equally　been　Sharers。　　Unfortunately
as　her　passion　grew　ardent；　Ambrosio's　grew　cold；　The　very　marks
of　her　fondness　excited　his　disgust；　and　its　excess　served　to
extinguish　the　flame　which　already　burned　but　feebly　in　his
bosom。　　Matilda　could　not　but　remark　that　her　society　seemed　to
him　daily　less　agreeable：　　He　was　inattentive　while　She　spoke：
her　musical　talents；　which　She　possessed　in　perfection；　had　lost
the　power　of　amusing　him；　Or　if　He　deigned　to　praise　them；　his
compliments　were　evidently　forced　and　cold。　　He　no　longer　gazed
upon　her　with　affection；　or　applauded　her　sentiments　with　a
Lover's　partiality。　　This　Matilda　well　perceived；　and　redoubled
her　efforts　to　revive　those　sentiments　which　He　once　had　felt。　
She　could　not　but　fail；　since　He　considered　as　importunities　the
pains　which　She　took　to　please　him；　and　was　disgusted　by　the　very
means　which　She　used　to　recall　the　Wanderer。　　Still；　however；
their　illicit　Commerce　continued：　　But　it　was　clear　that　He　was
led　to　her　arms；　not　by　love；　but　the　cravings　of　brutal
appetite。　　His　constitution　made　a　Woman　necessary　to　him；　and
Matilda　was　the　only　one　with　whom　He　could　indulge　his　passions
safely：　　In　spite　of　her　beauty；　He　gazed　upon　every　other　Female
with　more　desire；　But　fearing　that　his　Hypocrisy　should　be　made
public；　He　confined　his　inclinations　to　his　own　breast。

It　was　by　no　means　his　nature　to　be　timid：　　But　his　education　had
impressed　his　mind　with　fear　so　strongly；　that　apprehension　was
now　become　part　of　his　character。　Had　his　Youth　been　passed　in
the　world；　He　would　have　shown　himself　possessed　of　many
brilliant　and　manly　qualities。　　He　was　naturally　enterprizing；
firm；　and　fearless：　　He　had　a　Warrior's　heart；　and　He　might　have
shone　with　splendour　at　the　head　of　an　Army。　　There　was　no　want
of　generosity　in　his　nature：　　The　Wretched　never　failed　to　find
in　him　a　compassionate　Auditor：　His　abilities　were　quick　and
shining；　and　his　judgment；　vast；　solid；　and　decisive。　　With　such
qualifications　He　would　have　been　an　ornament　to　his　Country：　
That　He　possessed　them；　He　had　given　proofs　in　his　earliest
infancy；　and　his　Parents　had　beheld　his　dawning　virtues　with　the
fondest　delight　and　admiration。　　Unfortunately；　while　yet　a　Child
He　was　deprived　of　those　Parents。　　He　fell　into　the　power　of　a
Relation　whose　only　wish　about　him　was　never　to　hear　of　him
more；　For　that　purpose　He　gave　him　in　charge　to　his　Friend；　the
former　Superior　of　the　Capuchins。　　The　Abbot；　a　very　Monk；　used
all　his　endeavours　to　persuade　the　Boy　that　happiness　existed
not　without　the　walls　of　a　Convent。　　He　succeeded　fully。　　To
deserve　admittance　into　the　order　of　St。　Francis　was　Ambrosio's
highest　ambition。　　His　Instructors　carefully　repressed　those
virtues　whose　grandeur　and　disinterestedness　were　ill…suited　to
the　Cloister。　　Instead　of　universal　benevolence；　He　adopted　a
selfish　partiality　for　his　own　particular　establishment：　　He　was
taught　to　consider　compassion　for　the　errors　of　Others　as　a　crime
of　the　blackest　dye：　　The　noble　frankness　of　his　temper　was
exchanged　for　servile　humility；　and　in　order　to　break　his　natural
spirit；　the　Monks　terrified　his　young　mind　by　placing　before　him
all　the　horrors　with　which　Superstition　could　furnish　them：　　They
painted　to　him　the　torments　of　the　Damned　in　colours　the　most
dark；　terrible；　and　fantastic；　and　threatened　him　at　the
slightest　fault　with　eternal　perdition。　　No　wonder　that　his
imagination　constantly　dwelling　upon　these　fearful　objects　should
have　rendered　his　character　timid　and　apprehensive。　　Add　to　this；
that　his　long　absence　from　the　great　world；　and　total
unacquaintance　with　the　common　dangers　of　life；　made　him　form　of
them　an　idea　far　more　dismal　than　the　reality。　　While　the　Monks
were　busied　in　rooting　out　his　virtues　and　narrowing　his
sentiments；　they　allowed　every　vice　which　had　fallen　to　his
share　to　arrive　at　full　perfection。　　He　was　suffered　to　be
proud；　vain；　ambitious；　and　disdainful：　　He　was　jealous　of　his
Equals；　and　despised　all　merit　but　his　own：　　He　was　implacable
when　offended；　and　cruel　in　his　revenge。　Still　in　spite　of　the
pains　taken　to　pervert　them；　his　natural　good　qualities　would
occasionally　break　through　the　gloom　cast　over　them　so　carefully：

At　such　times　the　contest　for　superiority　between　his　real　and
acquired　character　was　striking　and　unaccountable　to　those
unacquainted　with　his　original　disposition。　　He　pronounced　the
most　severe　sentences　upon　Of