the monk(僧侣)-第14章
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Believe me； unhappy Woman！ you possess my sincere compassion。 I
am convinced that you have hitherto acted upon the purest
motives； But though you are blind to the imprudence of your
conduct； in me it would be culpable not to open your eyes。 I
feel that Duty obliges my treating you with harshness： I must
reject your prayer； and remove every shadow of hope which may
aid to nourish sentiments so pernicious to your repose。 Matilda；
you must from hence tomorrow。'
'Tomorrow； Ambrosio？ Tomorrow？ Oh！ surely you cannot mean it！
You cannot resolve on driving me to despair！ You cannot have the
cruelty。 。 。 。'
'You have heard my decision； and it must be obeyed。 The Laws of
our Order forbid your stay： It would be perjury to conceal that
a Woman is within these Walls； and my vows will oblige me to
declare your story to the Community。 You must from hence！I
pity you； but can do no more！'
He pronounced these words in a faint and trembling voice： Then
rising from his seat； He would have hastened towards the
Monastery。 Uttering a loud shriek； Matilda followed； and
detained him。
'Stay yet one moment； Ambrosio！ Hear me yet speak one word！'
'I dare not listen！ Release me！ You know my resolution！'
'But one word！ But one last word； and I have done！'
'Leave me！ Your entreaties are in vain！ You must from hence
tomorrow！'
'Go then； Barbarian！ But this resource is still left me。'
As She said this； She suddenly drew a poignard： She rent open
her garment； and placed the weapon's point against her bosom。
'Father； I will never quit these Walls alive！'
'Hold！ Hold； Matilda！ What would you do？'
'You are determined； so am I： The Moment that you leave me； I
plunge this Steel in my heart。'
'Holy St。 Francis！ Matilda； have you your senses？ Do you know
the consequences of your action？ That Suicide is the greatest of
crimes？ That you destroy your Soul？ That you lose your claim to
salvation？ That you prepare for yourself everlasting torments？'
'I care not！ I care not！' She replied passionately； 'Either your
hand guides me to Paradise； or my own dooms me to perdition！
Speak to me； Ambrosio！ Tell me that you will conceal my story；
that I shall remain your Friend and your Companion； or this
poignard drinks my blood！'
As She uttered these last words； She lifted her arm； and made a
motion as if to stab herself。 The Friar's eyes followed with
dread the course of the dagger。 She had torn open her habit； and
her bosom was half exposed。 The weapon's point rested upon her
left breast： And Oh！ that was such a breast！ The Moonbeams
darting full upon it enabled the Monk to observe its dazzling
whiteness。 His eye dwelt with insatiable avidity upon the
beauteous Orb。 A sensation till then unknown filled his heart
with a mixture of anxiety and delight： A raging fire shot
through every limb； The blood boiled in his veins； and a thousand
wild wishes bewildered his imagination。
'Hold！' He cried in an hurried faultering voice； 'I can resist no
longer！ Stay； then； Enchantress； Stay for my destruction！'
He said； and rushing from the place； hastened towards the
Monastery： He regained his Cell and threw himself upon his
Couch； distracted irresolute and confused。
He found it impossible for some time to arrange his ideas。 The
scene in which He had been engaged had excited such a variety of
sentiments in his bosom； that He was incapable of deciding which
was predominant。 He was irresolute what conduct He ought to hold
with the disturber of his repose。 He was conscious that
prudence；
religion； and propriety necessitated his obliging her to quit the
Abbey： But on the other hand such powerful reasons authorized
her stay that He was but too much inclined to consent to her
remaining。 He could not avoid being flattered by Matilda's
declaration； and at reflecting that He had unconsciously
vanquished an heart which had resisted the attacks of Spain's
noblest Cavaliers： The manner in which He had gained her
affections was also the most satisfactory to his vanity： He
remembered the many happy hours which He had passed in Rosario's
society； and dreaded that void in his heart which parting with
him would occasion。 Besides all this； He considered； that as
Matilda was wealthy； her favour might be of essential benefit to
the Abbey。
'And what do I risque；' said He to himself； 'by authorizing her
stay？ May I not safely credit her assertions？ Will it not be
easy for me to forget her sex； and still consider her as my
Friend and my disciple？ Surely her love is as pure as She
describes。 Had it been the offspring of mere licentiousness；
would She so long have concealed it in her own bosom？ Would She
not have employed some means to procure its gratification？ She
has done quite the contrary： She strove to keep me in ignorance
of her sex； and nothing but the fear of detection； and my
instances； would have compelled her to reveal the secret。 She
has observed the duties of religion not less strictly than
myself。 She has made no attempts to rouze my slumbering
passions； nor has She ever conversed with me till this night on
the subject of Love。 Had She been desirous to gain my
affections； not my esteem； She would not have concealed from me
her charms so carefully： At this very moment I have never seen
her face： Yet certainly that face must be lovely； and her person
beautiful； to judge by her 。 。 。 by what I have seen。'
As this last idea passed through his imagination； a blush spread
itself over his cheek。 Alarmed at the sentiments which He was
indulging； He betook himself to prayer； He started from his
Couch； knelt before the beautiful Madona； and entreated her
assistance in stifling such culpable emotions。 He then returned
to his Bed； and resigned himself to slumber。
He awoke； heated and unrefreshed。 During his sleep his inflamed
imagination had presented him with none but the most voluptuous
objects。 Matilda stood before him in his dreams； and his eyes
again dwelt upon her naked breast。 She repeated her
protestations of eternal love； threw her arms round his neck； and
loaded him with kisses： He returned them； He clasped her
passionately to his bosom； and 。 。 。 the vision was dissolved。
Sometimes his dreams presented the image of his favourite Madona；
and He fancied that He was kneeling before her： As He offered up
his vows to her； the eyes of the Figure seemed to beam on him
with inexpressible sweetness。 He pressed his lips to hers； and
found them warm： The animated form started from the Canvas；
embraced him affectionately； and his senses were unable to
support delight so exquisite。 Such were the scenes； on which his
thoughts were employed while sleeping： His unsatisfied Desires
placed before him the most lustful and provoking Images； and he
rioted in joys till then unknown to him。
He started from his Couch； filled with confusion at the
remembrance of his dreams。 Scarcely was He less ashamed； when He
reflected on his reasons of the former night which induced him
to authorize Matilda's stay。 The cloud was now dissipated which
had obscured his judgment： He shuddered when He beheld his
arguments blazoned in their proper colours； and found that He had
been a slave to flattery； to avarice； and self…love。 If in one
hour's conversation Matilda had produced a change so remarkable
in his sentiments； what had He not to dread from her remaining in
the Abbey？ Become sensible of his danger； awakened from his
dream of confidence； He resolved to insist on her departing
without delay。 He began to feel that He was not proof against
temptation； and that however Matilda might restrain herself
within the bounds of modesty； He was unable to contend with those
passions； from which He falsely thought himself exempted。
'Agnes！ Agnes！' He exclaimed； while reflecting on his
embarrassments； 'I already feel thy curse！'
He quitted his Cell； determined upon dismissing the feigned
Rosario。 He appeared at Matins； But his thoughts were absent；
and He paid them but little attention。 His heart and brain were
both of them filled with worldly objects； and He prayed without
devotion。 The service over； He d
