the monk(僧侣)-第12章
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unaccountable behaviour。 He was inclined to suspect the
derangement of his senses: yet the general tenor of his conduct;
the connexion of his ideas; and calmness of his demeanour till
the moment of his quitting the Grotto; seemed to discountenance
this conjecture。 After a few minutes Rosario returned。 He again
seated himself upon the Bank: He reclined his cheek upon one
hand; and with the other wiped away the tears which trickled from
his eyes at intervals。
The Monk looked upon him with compassion; and forbore to
interrupt his meditations。 Both observed for some time a
profound silence。 The Nightingale had now taken her station upon
an Orange Tree fronting the Hermitage; and poured forth a strain
the most melancholy and melodious。 Rosario raised his head; and
listened to her with attention。
'It was thus;' said He; with a deep…drawn sigh; 'It was thus;
that during the last month of her unhappy life; my Sister used to
sit listening to the Nightingale。 Poor Matilda! She sleeps in
the Grave; and her broken heart throbs no more with passion。'
'You had a Sister?'
'You say right; that I HAD; Alas! I have one no longer。 She
sunk beneath the weight of her sorrows in the very spring of
life。'
'What were those sorrows?'
'They will not excite YOUR pity: YOU know not the power of those
irresistible; those fatal sentiments; to which her Heart was a
prey。 Father; She loved unfortunately。 A passion for One
endowed with every virtue; for a Man; Oh! rather let me say; for
a divinity; proved the bane of her existence。 His noble form;
his spotless character; his various talents; his wisdom solid;
wonderful; and glorious; might have warmed the bosom of the most
insensible。 My Sister saw him; and dared to love though She
never dared to hope。'
'If her love was so well bestowed; what forbad her to hope the
obtaining of its object?'
'Father; before He knew her; Julian had already plighted his vows
to a Bride most fair; most heavenly! Yet still my Sister loved;
and for the Husband's sake She doted upon the Wife。 One morning
She found means to escape from our Father's House: Arrayed in
humble weeds She offered herself as a Domestic to the Consort of
her Beloved; and was accepted。 She was now continually in his
presence: She strove to ingratiate herself into his favour: She
succeeded。 Her attentions attracted Julian's notice; The
virtuous are ever grateful; and He distinguished Matilda above
the rest of her Companions。'
'And did not your Parents seek for her? Did they submit tamely
to their loss; nor attempt to recover their wandering Daughter?'
'Ere they could find her; She discovered herself。 Her love grew
too violent for concealment; Yet She wished not for Julian's
person; She ambitioned but a share of his heart。 In an unguarded
moment She confessed her affection。 What was the return?
Doating upon his Wife; and believing that a look of pity bestowed
upon another was a theft from what He owed to her; He drove
Matilda from his presence。 He forbad her ever again appearing
before him。 His severity broke her heart: She returned to her
Father's; and in a few Months after was carried to her Grave。'
'Unhappy Girl! Surely her fate was too severe; and Julian was
too cruel。'
'Do you think so; Father?' cried the Novice with vivacity; 'Do
you think that He was cruel?'
'Doubtless I do; and pity her most sincerely。'
'You pity her? You pity her? Oh! Father! Father! Then pity
me!'
The Friar started; when after a moment's pause Rosario added with
a faltering voice;'for my sufferings are still greater。 My
Sister had a Friend; a real Friend; who pitied the acuteness of
her feelings; nor reproached her with her inability to repress
them。 I 。 。 。! I have no Friend! The whole wide world cannot
furnish an heart that is willing to participate in the sorrows
of mine!'
As He uttered these words; He sobbed audibly。 The Friar was
affected。 He took Rosario's hand; and pressed it with
tenderness。
'You have no Friend; say you? What then am I? Why will you not
confide in me; and what can you fear? My severity? Have I ever
used it with you? The dignity of my habit? Rosario; I lay aside
the Monk; and bid you consider me as no other than your Friend;
your Father。 Well may I assume that title; for never did Parent
watch over a Child more fondly than I have watched over you。
From the moment in which I first beheld you; I perceived
sensations in my bosom till then unknown to me; I found a
delight in your society which no one's else could afford; and
when I witnessed the extent of your genius and information; I
rejoiced as does a Father in the perfections of his Son。 Then
lay aside your fears; Speak to me with openness: Speak to me;
Rosario; and say that you will confide in me。 If my aid or my
pity can alleviate your distress。 。 。 。'
'Yours can! Yours only can! Ah! Father; how willingly would I
unveil to you my heart! How willingly would I declare the
secret which bows me down with its weight! But Oh! I fear! I
fear!'
'What; my Son?'
'That you should abhor me for my weakness; That the reward of my
confidence should be the loss of your esteem。'
'How shall I reassure you? Reflect upon the whole of my past
conduct; upon the paternal tenderness which I have ever shown
you。 Abhor you; Rosario? It is no longer in my power。 To give
up your society would be to deprive myself of the greatest
pleasure of my life。 Then reveal to me what afflicts you; and
believe me while I solemnly swear。 。 。 。'
'Hold!' interrupted the Novice; 'Swear; that whatever be my
secret; you will not oblige me to quit the Monastery till my
Noviciate shall expire。'
'I promise it faithfully; and as I keep my vows to you; may
Christ keep his to Mankind。 Now then explain this mystery; and
rely upon my indulgence。'
'I obey you。 Know then。 。 。 。 Oh! how I tremble to name the
word! Listen to me with pity; revered Ambrosio! Call up every
latent spark of human weakness that may teach you compassion for
mine! Father!' continued He throwing himself at the Friar's
feet; and pressing his hand to his lips with eagerness; while
agitation for a moment choaked his voice; 'Father!' continued He
in faltering accents; 'I am a Woman!'
The Abbot started at this unexpected avowal。 Prostrate on the
ground lay the feigned Rosario; as if waiting in silence the
decision of his Judge。 Astonishment on the one part;
apprehension on the other; for some minutes chained them in the
same attitudes; as had they been touched by the Rod of some
Magician。 At length recovering from his confusion; the Monk
quitted the Grotto; and sped with precipitation towards the
Abbey。 His action did not escape the Suppliant。 She sprang from
the ground; She hastened to follow him; overtook him; threw
herself in his passage; and embraced his knees。 Ambrosio strove
in vain to disengage himself from her grasp。
'Do not fly me!' She cried; 'Leave me not abandoned to the
impulse of despair! Listen; while I excuse my imprudence; while
I acknowledge my Sister's story to be my own! I am Matilda; You
are her Beloved。'
If Ambrosio's surprise was great at her first avowal; upon
hearing her second it exceeded all bounds。 Amazed; embarrassed;
and irresolute He found himself incapable of pronouncing a
syllable; and remained in silence gazing upon Matilda: This gave
her opportunity to continue her explanation as follows。
'Think not; Ambrosio; that I come to rob your Bride of your
affections。 No; believe me: Religion alone deserves you; and
far is it from Matilda's wish to draw you from the paths of
virtue。 What I feel for you is love; not licentiousness; I sigh
to be possessor of your heart; not lust for the enjoyment of your
person。 Deign to listen to my vindication: A few moments will
convince you that this holy retreat is not polluted by my
presence; and that you may grant me your compassion without
trespassing against your vows。'She seated herself: Ambrosio;
scarcely conscious of what He did; followed her example; and She
proceeded in her discourse。
'I spring from a distinguished family: My Father was Chief of
the n