the legacy of cain-第69章
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Philip returned； depressed and sulky； I caught Miss Jillgall
looking at him with interest and pity visible in her skinny face。
What do these things mean？
I am beginning to doubt everybody。 Not one of them； Philip
included； cares for mebut I can frighten them； at any rate。
Yesterday evening； I dropped on the floor as suddenly as if I had
been shot： a fit of some sort。 The doctor honestly declared that
he was at a loss to account for it。 He would have laid me under
an eternal obligation if he had failed to bring me back to life
again。
As it is； I am more clever than the doctor。 What brought the fit
on is well known to me。 Ragefurious； overpowering； deadly
ragewas the cause。 I am now in the cold…blooded state； which
can look back at the event as composedly as if it had happened to
some other girl。 Suppose that girl had let her sweetheart know
how she loved him as she had never let him know it before。
Suppose she opened the door again the instant after she had left
the room； eager； poor wretch； to say once more； for the fiftieth
time； 〃My angel； I love you！〃 Suppose she found her angel
standing with his back toward her； so that his face was reflected
in the glass。 And suppose she discovered in that face； so smiling
and so sweet when his head had rested on her bosom only the
moment before； the most hideous expression of disgust that
features can betray。 There could be no doubt of it； I had made my
poor offering of love to a man who secretly loathed me。 I wonder
that I survived my sense of my own degradation。 Well！ I am alive；
and I know him in his true character at last。 Am I a woman who
submits when an outrage is offered to her？ What will happen next？
Who knows？ I am in a fine humor。 What I have just written has set
me laughing at myself。 Helena Gracedieu has one merit at
leastshe is a very amusing person。
I slept last night。
This morning； I am strong again； calm； wickedly capable of
deceiving Mr。 Philip Dunboyne； as he has deceived me。 He has not
the faintest suspicion that I have discovered him。 I wish he had
courage enough to kill somebody。 How I should enjoy hiring the
nearest window to the scaffold； and seeing him hanged！
Miss Jillgall is in better spirits than ever。 She is going to
take a little holiday； and the cunning creature makes a mystery
of it。 〃Good…by； Miss Helen a。 I am going to stay for a day or
two with a friend。〃 What friend？ Who cares？
Last night； I was wakeful。 In the darkness a daring idea came to
me。 To…day； I have carried out the idea。 Something has followed
which is well worth entering in my Diary。
I left the room at the usual hour for attending to my domestic
affairs。 The obstinate cook did me a service； she was insolent；
she wanted to have her own way。 I gave her her own way。 In less
than five minutes I was on the watch in the pantry； which has a
view of the house door。 My hat and my parasol were waiting for me
on the table； in case of my going out； too。
In a few minutes more； I heard the door opened。 Mr。 Philip
Dunboyne stepped out。 He was going to take another of his long
walks。
I followed him to the street in which the cabs stand。 He hired
the first one on the rank； an open chaise； while I kept myself
hidden in a。 shop door。
The moment he started on his drive； I hired a closed cab。 〃Double
your fare；〃 I said to the driver； 〃whatever it may be； if you
follow that chaise cleverly； and do what I tell you。〃
He nodded and winked at me。 A wicked…looking old fellow； just the
man I wanted。
We followed the chaise。
CHAPTER LVI。
HELENA'S DIARY RESUMED。
WHEN we had left the town behind us； the coachman began to drive
more slowly。 In my ignorance； I asked what this change in the
pace meant。 He pointed with his whip to the open road and to the
chaise in the distance。
〃If we keep too near the gentleman； miss； he has only got to look
back； and he'll see we are following him。 The safe thing to do is
to let the chaise get on a bit。 We can't lose sight of it； out
here。〃
I had felt inclined to trust in the driver's experience； and he
had already justified my confidence in him。 This encouraged me to
consult his opinion on a matter of some importance to my present
interests。 I could see the necessity of avoiding discovery when
we had followed the chaise to its destination； but I was totally
at a loss to know how it could be done。 My wily old man was ready
with his advice the moment I asked for it。
〃Wherever the chaise stops； miss； we must drive past it as if we
were going somewhere else。 I shall notice the place while we go
by； and you will please sit back in the corner of the cab so that
the gentleman can't see you。〃
〃Well；〃 I said； 〃and what next？〃
〃Next； miss； I shall pull up； wherever it may be； out of sight of
the driver of the chaise。 He bears an excellent character； I
don't deny it； but I've known him for yearsand we had better
not trust him。 I shall tell you where the gentleman stopped； and
you will go back to the place （on foot； of course）； and see for
yourself what's to be done； specially if there happens to be a
lady in the case。 No offense； miss； it's in my experience that
there's generally a lady in the case。 Anyhow； you can judge for
yourself； and you'll know where to find me waiting when you want
me again。〃
〃Suppose something happens；〃 I suggested； 〃that we don't expect？〃
〃I shan't lose my head； miss； whatever happens。〃
〃All very well； coachman； but I have only your word for it。〃 In
the irritable state of my mind； the man's confident way of
thinking annoyed me。
〃Begging your pardon； my young lady； you've got （if I may say so）
what they call a guarantee。 When I was a young man； I drove a cab
in London for ten years。 Will that do？〃
〃I suppose you mean；〃 I answered； 〃that you have learned deceit
in the wicked ways of the great city。〃
He took this as a compliment。 〃Thank you； miss。 That's it
exactly。〃
After a long drive； or so it seemed to my impatience； we passed
the chaise drawn up at a lonely house； separated by a front
garden from the road。 In two or three minutes more； we stopped
where the road took a turn； and descended to lower ground。 The
farmhouse which we had left behind us was known to the driver。 He
led the way to a gate at the side of the road； and opened it for
me。
〃In your place； miss；〃 he said slyly； 〃the private way back is
the way I should wish to take。 Try it by the fields。 Turn to the
right when you have passed the barn； and you'll find yourself at
the back of the house。〃 He stopped； and looked at his big silver
watch。 〃Half…past twelve；〃 he said； 〃the ChawbaconsI mean the
farmhouse servants； misswill be at their dinner。 All in your
favor； so far。 If the dog happens to be loose； don't forget that
his name's Grinder； call him by his name； and pat him before he
has time enough to think； and he'll let you be。 When you want me；
here you'll find me waiting for orders。〃
I looked back as I crossed the field。 The driver was sitting on
the gate； smoking his pipe； and the horse was nibbling the grass
at the roadside。 Two happy animals； without a burden on their
minds！
After passing the barn； I saw nothing of the dog。 Far or near； no
living creature appeared； the servants must have been at dinner；
as the coachman had foreseen。 Arriving at a wooden fence； I
opened a gate in it； and found myself on a bit of waste ground。
On my left； there was a large duck…pond。 On my right； I saw the
fowl…house and the pigstyes。 Before me was a high impenetrable
hedge； and at some distance behind itan orchard or a garden； as
I supposed； filling the intermediate spacerose the back of the
house。 I made for the shelter of the hedge； in the fear that some
one might approach a window and see me。 Once sheltered from
observation； I might consider what I should do next。 It was
impossible to doubt that this was the house in which Eunice was
living。 Neither could I fail to conclude that Philip had tried to
persuade her to see him； on those former occasions when he told
me he had taken a long walk。
As I crouched behind the hedge； I heard voices approaching on the
other side of it。 At last fortune had befriended me。 The person
