the legacy of cain-第61章

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blessing；　the　departed　spirit　can　bring　with　it　a　curse。　I　dared
not　confess　to　Eunice　that　the　influence　of　her　murderess…mother
might；　as　I　thought　possible；　have　been　supernaturally　present
when　she　heard　temptation　whispering　in　her　ear；　but　I　dared　not
deny　it　to　myself。　All　that　I　could　say　to　satisfy　and　sustain
her；　I　did　say。　And　when　I　declaredwith　my　whole　heart
declaredthat　the　noble　passion　which　had　elevated　her　whole
being；　and　had　triumphed　over　the　sorest　trials　that　desertion
could　inflict；　would　still　triumph　to　the　end；　I　saw　hope；　in
that　brave　and　true　heart；　showing　its　bright　promise　for　the
future　in　Eunice's　eyes。

She　closed　and　locked　her　Journal。　By　common　consent　we　sought
the　relief　of　changing　the　subject。　Eunice　asked　me　if　it　was
really　necessary　that　I　should　return　to　London。

I　shrank　from　telling　her　that　I　could　be　of　no　further　use　to
her　father；　while　he　regarded　me　with　an　enmity　which　I　had　not
deserved。　But　I　saw　no　reason　for　concealing　that　it　was　my
purpose　to　see　Philip　Dunboyne。

〃You　told　me　　yesterday；〃　I　reminded　her；　〃that　I　was　to　say　you
had　forgiven　him。　Do　you　still　wish　me　to　do　that？〃

〃Indeed　I　do！〃

〃Have　you　thought　of　it　seriously？　Are　you　sure　of　not　having
been　hurried　by　a　generous　impulse　into　saying　more　than　you
mean？〃

〃I　have　been　thinking　of　it；〃　she　said；　〃through　the　wakeful
hours　of　last　nightand　many　things　are　plain　to　me；　which　I　was
not　sure　of　in　the　time　when　I　was　so　happy。　He　has　caused　me　the
bitterest　sorrow　of　my　life；　but　he　can't　undo　the　good　that　I
owe　to　him。　He　has　made　a　better　girl　of　me；　in　the　time　when　his
love　was　mine。　I　don't　forget　that。　Miserably　as　it　has　ended；　I
don't　forget　that。〃

Her　voice　trembled；　the　tears　rose　in　her　eyes。　It　was　impossible
for　me　to　conceal　the　distress　that　I　felt。　The　noble　creature
saw　it。　〃No；〃　she　said　faintly；　〃I　am　not　going　to　cry。　Don't
look　so　sorry　for　me。〃　Her　hand　pressed　my　hand　gently_she_
pitied　_me。_　When　I　saw　how　she　struggled　to　control　herself；　and
did　control　herself；　I　declare　to　God　I　could　have　gone　down　on
my　knees　before　her。

She　asked　to　be　allowed　to　speak　of　Philip　again；　and　for　the
last　time。

〃When　you　meet　with　him　in　London；　he　may　perhaps　ask　if　you　have
seen　Eunice。〃

〃My　child！　he　is　sure　to　ask。〃

〃Break　it　to　him　gentlybut　don't　let　him　deceive　himself。　In
this　world；　he　must　never　hope　to　see　me　again。〃

I　triedvery　gentlyto　remonstrate。　〃At　your　age；　and　at　his
age；〃　I　said；　〃surely　there　is　hope？〃

〃There　is　no　hope。〃　She　pressed　her　hand　on　her　heart。　〃I　know
it；　I　feel　it；　here。〃

〃Oh；　Eunice；　it's　hard　for　me　to　say　that！〃

〃I　will　try　to　make　it　easier　for　you。　Say　that　I　have　forgiven
himand　say　no　more。〃


CHAPTER　XLIX。

THE　GOVERNOR　ON　HIS　GUARD。


AFTER　leaving　Eunice；　my　one　desire　was　to　be　alone。　I　had　much
to　think　of；　and　I　wanted　an　opportunity　of　recovering　myself。　On
my　way　out　of　the　house；　in　search　of　the　first　solitary　place
that　I　could　discover；　I　passed　the　room　in　which　we　had　dined。
The　door　was　ajar。　Before　I　could　get　by　it；　Mrs。　Tenbruggen
stepped　out　and　stopped　me。

〃Will　you　come　in　here　for　a　moment？〃　she　said。　〃The　farmer　has
been　called　away；　and　I　want　to　speak　to　you。〃

Very　unwillinglybut　how　could　I　have　refused　without　giving
offense？I　entered　the　room。

〃When　you　noticed　my　keeping　my　name　from　you；〃　Mrs。　Tenbruggen
began；　〃while　Selina　was　with　us；　you　placed　me　in　an　awkward
position。　Our　little　friend　is　an　excellent　creature；　but　her
tongue　runs　away　with　her　sometimes；　I　am　obliged　to　be　careful
of　taking　her　too　readily　into　my　confidence。　For　instance；　I
have　never　told　her　what　my　name　was　before　I　married。　Won't　you
sit　down？〃

I　had　purposely　remained　standing　as　a　hint　to　her　not　to　prolong
the　interview。　The　hint　was　thrown　away；　I　took　a　chair。

〃Selina's　letters　had　informed　me；〃　she　resumed；　〃that　Mr。
Gracedieu　was　a　nervous　invalid。　When　I　came　to　England；　I　had
hoped　to　try　what　Massage　might　do　to　relieve　him。　The　cure　of
their　popular　preacher　might　have　advertised　me　through　the　whole
of　the　Congregational　sect。　It　was　essential　to　my　success　that　I
should　present　myself　as　a　stranger。　I　could　trust　time　and
change；　and　my　married　name　（certainly　not　known　to　Mr。
Gracedieu）　to　keep　up　my　incognito。　He　would　have　refused　to　see
me　if　he　had　known　that　I　was　once　Miss　Chance。〃

I　began　to　be　interested。

Here　was　an　opportunity；　perhaps；　of　discovering　what　the
Minister　had　failed　to　remember　when　he　had　been　speaking　of　this
woman；　and　when　I　had　asked　if　he　had　ever　offended　her。　I　was
especially　careful　in　making　my　inquiries。

〃I　remember　how　you　spoke　to　Mr。　Gracedieu；〃　I　said；　〃when　you
and　he　met；　long　ago；　in　my　rooms。　But　surely　you　don't　think　him
capable　of　vindictively　remembering　some　thoughtless　words；　which
escaped　you　sixteen　or　seventeen　years　since？〃

〃I　am　not　quite　such　a　fool　as　that；　Mr。　Governor。　What　I　was
thinking　of　was　an　unpleasant　correspondence　between　the　Minister
and　myself。　Before　I　was　so　unfortunate　as　to　meet　with　Mr。
Tenbruggen；　I　obtained　a　chance　of　employment　in　a　public
Institution；　on　condition　that　I　included　a　clergyman　among　my
references。　Knowing　nobody　else　whom　I　could　apply　to；　I　rashly
wrote　to　Mr。　Gracedieu；　and　received　one　of　those　cold　and　cruel
refusals　which　only　the　strictest　religious　principle　can
produce。　I　was　mortally　offended　at　the　time；　and　if　your　friend
the　Minister　had　been　within　my　reach〃　She　paused；　and　finished
the　sentence　by　a　significant　gesture。

〃Well；〃　I　said；　〃he　is　within　your　reach　now。〃

〃And　out　of　his　mind；〃　she　added。　〃Besides；　one's　sense　of　injury
doesn't　last　（except　in　novels　and　plays）　through　a　series　of
years。　I　don't　pity　himand　if　an　opportunity　of　shaking　his
high　position　among　his　admiring　congregation　presented　itself；　I
daresay　I　might　make　a　mischievous　return　for　his　letter　to　me。
In　the　meanwhile；　we　may　drop　the　subject。　I　suppose　you
understand；　now；　why　I　concealed　my　name　from　you；　and　why　I　kept
out　of　the　house　while　you　were　in　it。〃

It　was　plain　enough；　of　course。　If　I　had　known　her　again；　or　had
heard　her　name；　I　might　have　told　the　Minister　that　Mrs。
Tenbruggen　and　Miss　Chance　were　one　and　the　same。　And　if　I　had
seen　her　and　talked　with　her　in　the　house；　my　memory　might　have
shown　itself　capable　of　improvement。　Having　politely　presented
the　expression　of　my　thanks；　I　rose　to　go。

She　stopped　me　at　the　door。

〃One　word　more；〃　she　said；　〃while　Selina　is　out　of　the　way。　I
need　hardly　tell　you　that　I　have　not　trusted　her　with　the
Minister's　secret。　You　and　I　are；　as　I　take　it；　the　only　people
now　living　who　know　the　truth　about　these　two　girls。　And　we　keep
our　advantage。〃

〃What　advantage？〃　I　asked。

〃Don't　you　know？〃

〃I　don't　indeed。〃

〃No　more　do　I。　Female　folly；　and　a　slip　of　the　tongue；　I　am　old
and　ugly；　but　I　am　still　a　woman。　About　Miss　Eunice。　Somebody　has
told　the　pretty　little　fool　never　to　trust　strangers。　You　would
have　been　amused；　if　you　had　heard　that　sly　young　person
prevaricating　with　me。　In　one　respect；　her　appearance　strikes　me。
She　is　not　like　either　the　wretch　who　was　hanged；　or　the　poor
victim　who　was　murdered。　Can　she　be　the　adopted　child？　Or　is　it
the　other　sister；　whom　I　have　not　seen　yet？　Oh；　come！　come！　Don't
try　to　look　as　if　you　didn't　know。　That　is　really　too
ridiculous。〃

〃You　alluded　just　now；〃　I　answered；　〃to　our　'advantage'　in　being
the　only　persons　who　know　the　truth　about　the　two　girls。　Well；
Mrs。　Tenbruggen；　I　keep　_my_　advantage。〃

〃In　other　words；〃　she　rejoined；　〃you　leave　me　to　make　the
discovery　myself。　Well；　my　friend；　I　mean　to　do　it！〃

。　。　。　。　。　。　。

In　the　evening；　my　hotel　offered　to　me　the　refuge　of　which　I
stood　in　need。　I　could　think；　for　the　first　time　that　day；
without　interruption。

Being　resolved　to　see　Philip；　I　prepared　myself　for　the　interview
by　consulting　my　extracts　once　more。　The　letter；　in　which　Mrs。
Tenbruggen　figures；　inspired　me　with　the　hope　of　protection　for
Mr。　Gracedieu；　attainable　through　no　less　a　person　than　Helena
herself。

To　begin　with；