the legacy of cain-第49章
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which had looked lovingly at Eunice began to look languidly now：
his head sank on the pillow with a sigh of weak content。 〃My
pleasure has been almost too much for me；〃 he said。 〃Leave me for
a while to rest； and get used to it。〃
Eunice kissed his foreheadand we left the room。
CHAPTER XL。
THE BRUISED HEART。
WHEN we stepped out on the landing； I observed that my companion
paused。 She looked at the two flights of stairs below us before
she descended them。 It occurred to me that there must be somebody
in the house whom she was anxious to avoid。
Arrived at the lower hall； she paused again； and proposed in a
whisper that we should go into the garden。 As we advanced along
the backward division of the hall； I saw her eyes turn
distrustfully toward the door of the room in which Helena had
received me。 At last； my slow perceptions felt with her and
understood her。 Eunice's sensitive nature recoiled from a chance
meeting with the wretch who had laid waste all that had once been
happy and hopeful in that harmless young life。
〃Will you come with me to the part of the garden that I am
fondest of？〃 she asked。
I offered her my arm。 She led me in silence to a rustic seat；
placed under the shade of a mulberry tree。 I saw a change in her
face as we sat downa tender and beautiful change。 At that
moment the girl's heart was far away from me。 There was some
association with this corner of the garden； on which I felt that
I must not intrude。
〃I was once very happy here；〃 she said。 〃When the time of the
heartache came soon after； I was afraid to look at the old tree
and the bench under it。 But that is all over now。 I like to
remember the hours that were once dear to me； and to see the
place that recalls them。 Do you know who I am thinking of？ Don't
be afraid of distressing me。 I never cry now。〃
〃My dear child； I have heard your sad storybut I can't trust
myself to speak of it。〃
〃Because you are so sorry for me？〃
〃No words can say how sorry I am！〃
〃But you are not angry with Philip？〃
〃Not angry！ My poor dear； I am afraid to tell you how angry I am
with him。〃
〃Oh； no！ You mustn't say that。 If you wish to be kind to meand
I am sure you do wish itdon't think bitterly of Philip。〃
When I remember that the first feeling she roused in me was
nothing worthier of a professing Christian than astonishment； I
drop in my own estimation to the level of a savage。 〃Do you
really mean；〃 I was base enough to ask； 〃that you have forgiven
him？〃
She said； gently： 〃How could I help forgiving him？〃
The man who could have been blessed with such love as this； and
who could have cast it away from him； can have been nothing but
an idiot。 On that groundthough I dared not confess it to
EuniceI forgave him； too。
〃Do I surprise you？〃 she asked simply。 〃Perhaps love will bear
any humiliation。 Or perhaps I am only a poor weak creature。 You
don't know what a comfort it was to me to keep the few letters
that I received from Philip。 When I heard that he had gone away；
I gave his letters the kiss that bade him good…by。 That was the
time； I think； when my poor bruised heart got used to the pain； I
began to feel that there was one consolation still left for meI
might end in forgiving him。 Why do I tell you all this？ I think
you must have bewitched me。 Is this really the first time I have
seen you？〃
She put her little trembling hand into mine； I lifted it to my
lips； and kissed it。 Sorely was I tempted to own that I had
pitied and loved her in her infancy。 It was almost on my lips to
say： 〃I remember you an easily…pleased little creature； amusing
yourself with the broken toys which were once the playthings of
my own children。〃 I believe I should have said it； if I could
have trusted myself to speak composedly to her。 This was not to
be done。 Old as I was； versed as I was in the hard knowledge of
how to keep the mask on in the hour of need； this was not to be
done。
Still trying to understand that I was little better than a
stranger to her； and still bent on finding the secret of the
sympathy that united us； Eunice put a strange question to me。
〃When you were young yourself；〃 she said； 〃did you know what it
was to love； and to be lovedand then to lose it all？〃
It is not given to many men to marry the woman who has been the
object of their first love。 My early life had been darkened by a
sad story； never confided to any living creature； banished
resolutely from my own thoughts。 For forty years past； that part
of my buried self had lain quiet in its graveand the chance
touch of an innocent hand had raised the dead； and set us face to
face again！ Did I know what it was to love； and to be loved； and
then to lose it all？ 〃Too well； my child； too well！〃
That was all I could say to her。 In the last days of my life； I
shrank from speaking of it。 When I had first felt that calamity；
and had felt it most keenly； I might have given an answer
worthier of me； and worthier of her。
She dropped my hand； and sat by me in silence； thinking。 Had
Iwithout meaning it； God knows！had I disappointed her？
〃Did you expect me to tell my own sad story；〃 I said； 〃as frankly
and as trustfully as you have told yours？〃
〃Oh； don't think that！ I know what an effort it was to you to
answer me at all。 Yes； indeed！ I wonder whether I may ask
something。 The sorrow you have just told me of is not the only
oneis it？ You have had other troubles？〃
〃Many of them。〃
〃There are times；〃 she went on； 〃when one can't help thinking of
one's own miserable self。 I try to be cheerful； but those times
come now and then。〃
She stopped； and looked at me with a pale fear confessing itself
in her face。
〃You know who Selina is？〃 she resumed。 〃My friend！ The only
friend I had； till you came here。〃
I guessed that she was speaking of the quaint； kindly little
woman； whose ugly surname had been hitherto the only name known
to me。
〃Selina has； I daresay； told you that I have been ill；〃 she
continued； 〃and that I am staying in the country for the benefit
of my health。〃
It was plain that she had something to say to me； far more
important than this； and that she was dwelling on trifles to gain
time and courage。 Hoping to help her； I dwelt on trifles； too；
asking commonplace questions about the part of the country in
which she was staying。 She answered absentlythen； little by
little； impatiently。 The one poor proof of kindness that I could
offer； now； was to say no more。
〃Do you know what a strange creature I am？〃 she broke out。 〃Shall
I make you angry with me？ or shall I make you laugh at me？ What I
have shrunk from confessing to Selinawhat I dare not confess to
my fatherI must； and will； confess to You。〃
There was a look of horror in her face that alarmed me。 I drew
her to me so that she could rest her head on my shoulder。 My own
agitation threatened to get the better of me。 For the first time
since I had seen this sweet girl； I found myself thinking of the
blood that ran in her veins； and of the nature of the mother who
had borne her。
〃Did you notice how I behaved upstairs？〃 she said。 〃I mean when
we left my father； and came out on the lauding。〃
It was easily recollected； I begged her to go on。
〃Before I went downstairs；〃 she proceeded； 〃you saw me look and
listen。 Did you think I was afraid of meeting some person？ and
did you guess who it was I wanted to avoid？〃
〃I guessed thatand I understood you。〃
〃No！ You are not wicked enough to understand me。 Will you do me a
favor？ I want you to lo ok at me。〃
It was said seriously。 She lifted her head for a moment； so that
I could examine her face。
〃Do you see anything；〃 she asked； 〃which makes you fear that I am
not in my right mind？〃
〃Good God！ how can you ask such a horrible question？
She laid her head back on my shoulder with a sad little sigh of
resignation。 〃I ought to have known better；〃 she said； 〃there is
no such easy way out of it as that。 Tell meis there one kind of
wickedness more deceitful than another？ Can it be hid in a person
for years together； and show itself when a time of sufferingno；
I mean when a sense of injury comes？ Did you ever see that； when
you were master in t
