the legacy of cain-第31章

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is　to　say；　when　I　wanted　to　find　out　where　Philip　was　at　that
momentshe　had　no　advice　to　give　me。　I　told　her　that　I　should
not　enjoy　a　moment's　ease　of　mind　until　I　and　my　dear　one　were
reconciled。　She　only　shook　her　head　and　declared　that　she　was
sorry　for　me。　When　I　hit　on　the　idea　of　ringing　for　Maria；　this
little　woman；　so　bright；　and　quick　and　eager　to　help　me　at　other
times；　said　〃I　leave　it　to　you；　dear；〃　and　turned　to　the　piano
（close　to　which　I　was　sitting）；　and　played　softly　and　badly
stupid　little　tunes。

〃Maria；　did　you　open　the　door　for　Mr。　Dunboyne　when　he　went　away
just　now？〃

〃No；　miss。〃

Nothing　but　ill…luck　for　me！　If　I　had　been　left　to　my　own
devices；　I　should　now　have　let　the　housemaid　go。　But　Selina
contrived　to　give　me　a　hint；　on　a　strange　plan　of　her　own。　Still
at　the　piano；　she　began　to　confuse　talking　to　herself　with
playing　to　herself。　The　notes　went　_tinkle；　tinkle_and　the
tongue　mixed　up　words　with　the　notes　in　this　way：　〃Perhaps　they
have　been　talking　in　the　kitchen　about　Philip？〃

The　suggestion　was　not　lost　on　me。　I　said　to　Mariawho　was
standing　at　the　other　end　of　the　room；　near　the　door〃　Did　you
happen　to　hear　which　way　Mr。　Dunboyne　went　when　he　left　us？〃

〃I　know　where　he　was；　miss；　half　an　hour　ago。〃

〃Where　was　he？〃

〃At　the　hotel。〃

Selina　went　on　with　her　hints　in　the　same　way　as　before。　〃How
does　she　knowah；　how　does　she　know？〃　was　the　vocal　part　of　the
performance　this　time。　My　clever　inquiries　followed　the　vocal
part　as　before：

〃How　do　you　know　that　Mr。　Dunboyne　was　at　the　hotel？〃

〃I　was　sent　there　with　a　letter　for　him；　and　waited　for　the
answer。〃

There　was　no　suggestion　required　this　time。　The　one　possible
question　was：　〃Who　sent　you？〃

Maria　replied；　after　first　reserving　a　condition：　〃You　won't　tell
upon　me；　miss？〃

I　promised　not　to　tell。　Selina　suddenly　left　off　playing。

〃Well；〃　I　repeated；　〃who　sent　you？〃

〃Miss　Helena。〃

Selina　looked　round　at　me。　Her　little　eyes　seemed　to　have
suddenly　become　big；　they　stared　me　so　strangely　in　the　face。　I
don't　know　whether　she　was　in　a　state　of　fright　or　of　wonder。　As
for　myself；　I　simply　lost　the　use　of　my　tongue。　Maria；　having　no
more　questions　to　answer；　discreetly　left　us　together。

Why　should　Helena　write　to　Philip　at　alland　especially　without
mentioning　it　to　me？　Here　was　a　riddle　which　was　more　than　I
could　guess。　I　asked　Selina　to　help　me。　She　might　at　least　have
tried；　I　thought；　but　she　looked　uneasy；　and　made　excuses。

I　said：　〃Suppose　I　go　to　Helena；　and　ask　her　why　she　wrote　to
Philip？〃　And　Selina　said：　〃Suppose　you　do；　dear。〃

I　rang　for　Maria　once　more：　〃Do　you　know　where　my　sister　is？〃

〃Just　gone　out；　miss。〃

There　was　no　help　for　it　but　to　wait　till　she　came　back；　and　to
get　through　the　time　in　the　interval　as　I　best　might。　But　for　one
circumstance；　I　might　not　have　known　what　to　do。　The　truth　is；
there　was　a　feeling　of　shame　in　me　when　I　remembered　having
listened　at　the　study　door。　Curious　notions　come　into　one's
headone　doesn't　know　how　or　why。　It　struck　me　that　I　might　make
a　kind　of　atonement　for　having　been　mean　enough　to　listen；　if　I
went　to　papa；　and　offered　to　keep　him　company　in　his　solitude。　If
we　fell　into　pleasant　talk；　I　had　a　sly　idea　of　my　ownI　meant
to　put　in　a　good　word　for　poor　Philip。

When　I　confided　my　design　to　Selina；　she　shut　up　the　piano　and
ran　across　the　room　to　me。　But　somehow　she　was　not　like　her　old
self　again；　yet。

〃You　good　little　soul；　you　are　always　right。　Look　at　me　again；
Euneece。　Are　you　beginning　to　doubt　me？　Oh；　my　darling；　don't　do
that！　It　isn't　using　me　fairly。　I　can't　bear　itI　can't　bear
it！〃

I　took　her　hand；　I　was　on　the　point　of　speaking　to　her　with　the
kindness　she　deserved　from　me。　On　a　sudden　she　snatched　her　hand
away　and　ran　back　to　the　piano。　When　she　was　seated　on　the
music…stool；　her　face　was　hidden　from　me。　At　that　moment　she
broke　into　a　strange　cryit　began　like　a　laugh；　and　it　ended
like　a　sob。

〃Go　away　to　papa！　Don't　mind　meI'm　a　creature　of　impulseha！
ha！　ha！　a　little　hystericalthe　state　of　the　weatherI　get　rid
of　these　weaknesses；　my　dear；　by　singing　to　myself。　I　have　a
favorite　song：　'My　heart　is　light；　my　will　is　free。'Go　away！
oh；　for　God's　sake；　go　away！〃

I　had　heard　of　hysterics；　of　course；　knowing　nothing　about　them；
however；　by　my　own　experience。　What　could　have　happened　to
agitate　her　in　this　extraordinary　manner？

Had　Helena's　letter　anything　to　do　with　it？　Was　my　sister
indignant　with　Philip　for　swearing　in　my　presence；　and　had　she
written　him　an　angry　letter；　in　her　zeal　on　my　behalf？　But　Selina
could　not　possibly　have　seen　the　letter　and　Helena　（who　is
often　hard　on　me　when　I　do　stupid　th　ings）　showed　little
indulgence　for　me；　when　I　was　so　unfortunate　as　to　irritate
Philip。　I　gave　up　the　hopeless　attempt　to　get　at　the　truth　by
guessing；　and　went　away　to　forget　my　troubles；　if　I　could；　in　my
father's　society。

After　knocking　twice　at　the　door　of　the　study；　and　receiving　no
reply；　I　ventured　to　look　in。

The　sofa　in　this　room　stood　opposite　the　door。　Papa　was　resting
on　it；　but　not　in　comfort。　There　were　twitching　movements　in　his
feet；　and　he　shifted　his　arms　this　way　and　that　as　if　no　restful
posture　could　he　found　for　them。　But　what　frightened　me　was　this。
His　eyes；　staring　straight　at　the　door　by　which　I　had　gone　in；
had　an　inquiring　expression；　as　if　he　actually　did　not　know　me！　I
stood　midway　between　the　door　and　the　sofa；　doubtful　about　going
nearer　to　him。

He　said：　〃Who　is　it？〃　This　to　meto　his　own　daughter。　He　said：
〃What　do　you　want？〃

I　really　could　_not_　bear　it。　I　went　up　to　him。　I　said：　〃Papa；
have　you　forgotten　Eunice？〃

My　name　seemed　（if　one　may　say　such　a　thing）　to　bring　him　to
himself　again。　He　sat　upon　the　sofaand　laughed　as　he　answered
me。

〃My　dear　child；　what　delusion　has　got　into　that　pretty　little
head　of　yours？　Fancy　her　thinking　that　I　had　forgotten　my　own
daughter！　I　was　lost　in　thought；　Eunice。　For　the　moment；　I　was
what　they　call　an　absent　man。　Did　I　ever　tell　you　the　story　of
the　absent　man？　He　went　to　call　upon　some　acquaintance　of　his；
and　when　the　servant　said；　'What　name；　sir？'　He　couldn't　answer。
He　was　obliged　to　confess　that　he　had　forgotten　his　own　name。　The
servant　said；　'That's　very　strange。'　The　absent　man　at　once
recovered　himself。　'That's　it！'　he　said：　'my　name　is　Strange。'
Droll；　isn't　it？　If　I　had　been　calling　on　a　friend　to…day；　I
daresay　_I_　might　have　forgotten　my　name；　too。　Much　to　think　of；
Eunicetoo　much　to　think　of。〃

Leaving　the　sofa　with　a　sigh。　as　if　he　was　tired　of　it；　he　began
walking　up　and　down。　He　seemed　to　be　still　in　good　spirits。
〃Well；　my　dear；〃　he　said；　〃what　can　I　do　for　you？〃

〃I　came　here；　papa　to　see　if　there　was　anything　I　could　do　for
You。〃

He　looked　at　some　sheets　of　paper；　strung　together；　and　laid　on
the　table。　They　were　covered　with　writing　（from　his　dictation）　in
my　sister's　hand。　〃I　ought　to　get　on　with　my　work；〃　he　said。
〃Where　is　Helena？〃

I　told　him　that　she　had　gone　out；　and　begged　leave　to　try　what　I
could　do　to　supply　her　place。

The　request　seemed　to　please　him；　but　he　wanted　time　to　think。　I
waited；　noticing　that　his　face　grew　gradually　worried　and
anxious。　There　came　a　vacant　look　into　his　eyes　which　it　grieved
me　to　see；　he　appeared　to　have　quite　lost　himself　again。　〃Read
the　last　page；〃　he　said；　pointing　to　the　manuscript　on　the　table；
〃I　don't　remember　where　I　left　off。〃

I　turned　to　the　last　page。　As　well　as　I　could　tell；　it　related　to
some　publication；　which　he　was　recommending　to　religious　persons
of　our　way　of　thinking。

Before　I　had　read　half…way　through　it；　he　began　to　dictate；
speaking　so　rapidly　that　my　pen　was　not　always　able　to　follow
him。　My　handwriting　is　as　bad　as　bad　can　be　when　I　am　hurried。　To
make　matters　worse　still；　I　was　confused。　What　he　was　now　saying
seemed　to　have　nothing　to　do　with　what　I　had　been　reading。

Let　me　try　if　I　can　call　to　mind　the　substance　of　it。

He　began　in　the　most　strangely　sudden　way　by　asking：　〃Why　should
there　be　any　fear　of　discovery；　when　every　possible　care　had　been
taken　to　prevent　it？　The　danger　from　unexpected　events　was　far