the legacy of cain-第23章
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foot； he walked like a king。 Not that I ever saw a king； but I
have my ideal。 Ah； what a smile he gave me； when I made him look
up by waving my handkerchief out of the window！ 〃Ask for papa；〃 I
whispered as he ascended the house…steps。
The next thing to do was to wait； as patiently as I could； to be
sent for downstairs。 Maria came to me in a state of excitement。
〃Oh； miss； what a handsome young gentleman； and how beautifully
dressed！ Is he？〃 Instead of finishing what she had to say； she
looked at me with a sly smile。 I looked at her with a sly smile。
We were certainly a couple of fools。 But； dear me； how happy
sometimes a fool can be！
My enjoyment of that delightful time was checked when I went into
the drawing…room。
I had expected to see papa's face made beautiful by his winning
smile。 He was not only serious； he actually seemed to be ill at
ease when he looked at me。 At the same time； I saw nothing to
make me conclude that Philip had produced an unfavorable
impression。 The truth is； we were all three on our best behavior；
and we showed it。 Philip had brought with him a letter from Mrs。
Staveley； introducing him to papa。 We spoke of the Staveleys； of
the weather； of the Cathedraland then there seemed to be
nothing more left to talk about。
In the silence that followedwhat a dreadful thing silence
is！papa was sent for to see somebody who had called on
business。 He made his excuses in the sweetest manner； but still
seriously。 When he and Philip had shaken hands； would he leave us
together？ No； he waited。 Poor Philip had no choice but to take
leave of me。 Papa then went out by the door that led into his
study； and I was left alone。
Can any words say how wretched I felt？
I had hoped so much from that first meetingand where were my
hopes now？ A profane wish that I had never been born was finding
its way into my mind； when the door of the room was opened
softly； from the side of the passage。 Maria； dear Maria； the best
friend I have； peeped in。 She whispered： 〃Go into the garden；
miss； and you will find somebody there who is dying to see you。
Mind you let him out by the shrubbery gate。〃 I squeezed her hand；
I asked if she had tried the shrubbery gate with a sweetheart of
her own。 〃Hundreds of times； miss。〃
Was it wrong for me to go to Philip； in the garden？ Oh； there is
no end to objections！ Perhaps I did it _because_ it was wrong。
Perhaps I had been kept on my best behavior too long for human
endurance。
How sadly disappointed he looked！ And how rashly he had placed
himself just where he could be seen from the back windows！ I took
his arm and led him to the end of the garden。 There we were out
of the reach of inquisitive eyes； and there we sat down together；
under the big mulberry tree。
〃Oh； Eunice； your father doesn't like me！〃
Those were his first words。 In justice to papa （and a little for
my own sake too） I told him he was quite wrong。 I said： 〃Trust my
father's goodness； trust his kindness； as I do。〃
He made no reply。 His silence was sufficiently expressive； he
looked at me fondly。
I may be wrong； but fond looks surely require an acknowledgment
of some kind？ Is a young woman guilty of boldness who only
follows her impulses？ I slipped my hand into his hand。 Philip
seemed to like it。 We returned to our conversation。
He began： 〃Tell me； dear； is Mr。 Gracedieu always as serious as
he is to…day？〃
〃Oh no！〃
〃When he takes exercise； does he ri de？ or does he walk？〃
〃Papa always walks。〃
〃By himself？〃
〃Sometimes by himself。 Sometimes with me。 Do you want to meet him
when he goes out？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃When he is out with me？〃
〃No。 When he is out by himself。〃
Was it possible to tell me more plainly that I was not wanted？ I
did my best to express indignation by snatching my hand away from
him。 He was completely taken by surprise。
〃Eunice！ don't you understand me？〃
I was as stupid and as disagreeable as I could possibly be： 〃No；
I don't！〃
〃Then let me help you；〃 he said； with a patience which I had not
deserved。
Up to that moment I had been leaning against the back of a garden
chair。 Something else now got between me and my chair。 It stole
round my waistit held me gentlyit strengthened its holdit
improved my temperit made me fit to understand him。 All done by
what？ Only an arm！
Philip went on：
〃I want to ask your father to do me the greatest of all
favorsand there is no time to lose。 Every day； I expect to get
a letter which may recall me to Ireland。〃
My heart sank at this horrid prospect； and in some mysterious way
my head must have felt it too。 I mean that I found my head
resting on his shoulder。 He went on：
〃How am I to get my opportunity of speaking to Mr。 Gracedieu？ I
mustn't call on him again as soon as to…morrow or next day。 But I
might meet him； out walking alone； if you will tell me how to do
it。 A note to my hotel is all I want。 Don't tremble； my sweet。 If
you are not present at the time； do you see any objection to my
owning to your father that I love you？〃
I felt his delicate consideration for meI did indeed feel it
gratefully。 If he only spoke first； how well I should get on with
papa afterward！ The prospect before me was exquisitely
encouraging。 I agreed with Philip in everything； and I waited
（how eagerly was only known to myself） to hear what he would say
to me next。 He prophesied next：
〃When I have told your father that I love you； he will expect me
to tell him something else。 Can you guess what it is？〃
If I had not been confused； perhaps I might have found the answer
to this。 As it was； I left him to reply to himself。 He did it； in
words which I shall remember as long as I live。
〃Dearest Eunice； when your father has heard my confession； he
will suspect that there is another confession to follow ithe
will want to know if you love me。 My angel； will my hopes be your
hopes too； when I answer him？〃
What there was in this to make my heart beat so violently that I
felt as if I was being stifled； is more than I can tell。 He
leaned so close to me； so tenderly； so delightfully close； that
our faces nearly touched。 He whispered： 〃Say you love me； in a
kiss！〃
His lips touched my lips； pressed them； dwelt on themoh； how
can I tell of it！ Some new enchantment of feeling ran deliciously
through and through me。 I forgot my own self； I only knew of one
person in the world。 He was master of my lips； he was master of
my heart。 When he whispered； 〃kiss me；〃 I kissed。 What a moment
it was！ A faintness stole over me； I felt as if I was going to
die some exquisite death； I laid myself back away from himI was
not able to speak。 There was no need for it； my thoughts and his
thoughts were onehe knew that I was quite overcome； he saw that
he must leave me to recover myself alone。 I pointed to the
shrubbery gate。 We took one long last look at each other for that
day； the trees hid him； I was left by myself。
CHAPTER XX。
EUNICE'S DIARY。
How long a time passed before my composure came back to me； I
cannot remember now。 It seemed as if I was waiting through some
interval of my life that was a mystery to myself。 I was content
to wait； and feel the light evening air in the garden wafting
happiness over me。 And all this had come from a kiss！ I can call
the time to mind when I used to wonder why people made such a
fuss about kissing。
I had been indebted to Maria for my first taste of Paradise。 I
was recalled by Maria to the world that I had been accustomed to
live in； the world that was beginning to fade away in my memory
already。 She had been sent to the garden in search of me； and she
had a word of advice to offer； after noticing my face when I
stepped out of the shadow of the tree： 〃Try to look more like
yourself； miss； before you let them see you at the tea…table。〃
Papa and Miss Jillgall were sitting together talking； when I
opened the door。 They left off when they saw me； and I supposed；
quite correctly as it turned out； that I had been one of the
subjects in their course of conversation。 My poor father seemed
to be sadly anxious and out of sorts。 Miss Jillgall； if I had
been in the humor to enjoy it； would have been more amusing than
