honorine-第5章

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more　and　less　than　a　marriage。

〃During　these　months　the　Count　and　I　reciprocally　studied　each　other。
I　learned　with　astonishment　that　Comte　Octave　was　but　thirty…seven
years　old。　The　merely　superficial　peacefulness　of　his　life　and　the
propriety　of　his　conduct　were　the　outcome　not　solely　of　a　deep　sense
of　duty　and　of　stoical　reflection；　in　my　constant　intercourse　with
this　manan　extraordinary　man　to　those　who　knew　him　wellI　felt　vast
depths　beneath　his　toil；　beneath　his　acts　of　politeness；　his　mask　of
benignity；　his　assumption　of　resignation；　which　so　closely　resembled
calmness　that　it　is　easy　to　mistake　it。　Just　as　when　walking　through
forest…lands　certain　soils　give　forth　under　our　feet　a　sound　which
enables　us　to　guess　whether　they　are　dense　masses　of　stone　or　a　void；
so　intense　egoism；　though　hidden　under　the　flowers　of　politeness；　and
subterranean　caverns　eaten　out　by　sorrow　sound　hollow　under　the
constant　touch　of　familiar　life。　It　was　sorrow　and　not　despondency
that　dwelt　in　that　really　great　soul。　The　Count　had　understood　that
actions；　deeds；　are　the　supreme　law　of　social　man。　And　he　went　on　his
way　in　spite　of　secret　wounds；　looking　to　the　future　with　a　tranquil
eye；　like　a　martyr　full　of　faith。

〃His　concealed　sadness；　the　bitter　disenchantment　from　which　he
suffered；　had　not　led　him　into　philosophical　deserts　of　incredulity；
this　brave　statesman　was　religious；　without　ostentation；　he　always
attended　the　earliest　mass　at　Saint…Paul's　for　pious　workmen　and
servants。　Not　one　of　his　friends；　no　one　at　Court；　knew　that　he　so
punctually　fulfilled　the　practice　of　religion。　He　was　addicted　to　God
as　some　men　are　addicted　to　a　vice；　with　the　greatest　mystery。　Thus
one　day　I　came　to　find　the　Count　at　the　summit　of　an　Alp　of　woe　much
higher　than　that　on　which　many　are　who　think　themselves　the　most
tried；　who　laugh　at　the　passions　and　the　beliefs　of　others　because
they　have　conquered　their　own；　who　play　variations　in　every　key　of
irony　and　disdain。　He　did　not　mock　at　those　who　still　follow　hope　into
the　swamps　whither　she　leads；　nor　those　who　climb　a　peak　to　be　alone；
nor　those　who　persist　in　the　fight；　reddening　the　arena　with　their
blood　and　strewing　it　with　their　illusions。　He　looked　on　the　world　as
a　whole；　he　mastered　its　beliefs；　he　listened　to　its　complaining；　he
was　doubtful　of　affection；　and　yet　more　of　self…sacrifice；　but　this
great　and　stern　judge　pitied　them；　or　admired　them；　not　with　transient
enthusiasm；　but　with　silence；　concentration；　and　the　communion　of　a
deeply…touched　soul。　He　was　a　sort　of　catholic　Manfred；　and　unstained
by　crime；　carrying　his　choiceness　into　his　faith；　melting　the　snows　by
the　fires　of　a　sealed　volcano；　holding　converse　with　a　star　seen　by
himself　alone！

〃I　detected　many　dark　riddles　in　his　ordinary　life。　He　evaded　my　gaze
not　like　a　traveler　who；　following　a　path；　disappears　from　time　to
time　in　dells　or　ravines　according　to　the　formation　of　the　soil；　but
like　a　sharpshooter　who　is　being　watched；　who　wants　to　hide　himself；
and　seeks　a　cover。　I　could　not　account　for　his　frequent　absences　at
the　times　when　he　was　working　the　hardest；　and　of　which　he　made　no
secret　from　me；　for　he　would　say；　'Go　on　with　this　for　me；'　and　trust
me　with　the　work　in　hand。

〃This　man；　wrapped　in　the　threefold　duties　of　the　statesman；　the
judge；　and　the　orator；　charmed　me　by　a　taste　for　flowers；　which　shows
an　elegant　mind；　and　which　is　shared　by　almost　all　persons　of
refinement。　His　garden　and　his　study　were　full　of　the　rarest　plants；
but　he　always　bought　them　half…withered。　Perhaps　it　pleased　him　to　see
such　an　image　of　his　own　fate！　He　was　faded　like　these　dying　flowers；
whose　almost　decaying　fragrance　mounted　strangely　to　his　brain。　The
Count　loved　his　country；　he　devoted　himself　to　public　interests　with
the　frenzy　of　a　heart　that　seeks　to　cheat　some　other　passion；　but　the
studies　and　work　into　which　he　threw　himself　were　not　enough　for　him；
there　were　frightful　struggles　in　his　mind；　of　which　some　echoes
reached　me。　Finally；　he　would　give　utterance　to　harrowing　aspirations
for　happiness；　and　it　seemed　to　me　he　ought　yet　to　be　happy；　but　what
was　the　obstacle？　Was　there　a　woman　he　loved？　This　was　a　question　I
asked　myself。　You　may　imagine　the　extent　of　the　circles　of　torment
that　my　mind　had　searched　before　coming　to　so　simple　and　so　terrible　a
question。　Notwithstanding　his　efforts；　my　patron　did　not　succeed　in
stifling　the　movements　of　his　heart。　Under　his　austere　manner；　under
the　reserve　of　the　magistrate；　a　passion　rebelled；　though　coerced　with
such　force　that　no　one　but　I　who　lived　with　him　ever　guessed　the
secret。　His　motto　seemed　to　be；　'I　suffer；　and　am　silent。'　The　escort
of　respect　and　admiration　which　attended　him；　the　friendship　of
workers　as　valiant　as　himselfGrandville　and　Serizy；　both　presiding
judgeshad　no　hold　over　the　Count：　either　he　told　them　nothing；　or
they　knew　all。　Impassible　and　lofty　in　public；　the　Count　betrayed　the
man　only　on　rare　intervals　when；　alone　in　his　garden　or　his　study；　he
supposed　himself　unobserved；　but　then　he　was　a　child　again；　he　gave
course　to　the　tears　hidden　beneath　the　toga；　to　the　excitement　which；
if　wrongly　interpreted；　might　have　damaged　his　credit　for　perspicacity
as　a　statesman。

〃When　all　this　had　become　to　me　a　matter　of　certainty；　Comte　Octave
had　all　the　attractions　of　a　problem；　and　won　on　my　affection　as　much
as　though　he　had　been　my　own　father。　Can　you　enter　into　the　feeling　of
curiosity；　tempered　by　respect？　What　catastrophe　had　blasted　this
learned　man；　who；　like　Pitt；　had　devoted　himself　from　the　age　of
eighteen　to　the　studies　indispensable　to　power；　while　he　had　no
ambition；　this　judge；　who　thoroughly　knew　the　law　of　nations；
political　law；　civil　and　criminal　law；　and　who　could　find　in　these　a
weapon　against　every　anxiety；　against　every　mistake；　this　profound
legislator；　this　serious　writer；　this　pious　celibate　whose　life
sufficiently　proved　that　he　was　open　to　no　reproach？　A　criminal　could
not　have　been　more　hardly　punished　by　God　than　was　my　master；　sorrow
had　robbed　him　of　half　his　slumbers；　he　never　slept　more　than　four
hours。　What　struggle　was　it　that　went　on　in　the　depths　of　these　hours
apparently　so　calm；　so　studious；　passing　without　a　sound　or　a　murmur；
during　which　I　often　detected　him；　when　the　pen　had　dropped　from　his
fingers；　with　his　head　resting　on　one　hand；　his　eyes　like　two　fixed
stars；　and　sometimes　wet　with　tears？　How　could　the　waters　of　that
living　spring　flow　over　the　burning　strand　without　being　dried　up　by
the　subterranean　fire？　Was　there　below　it；　as　there　is　under　the　sea；
between　it　and　the　central　fires　of　the　globe；　a　bed　of　granite？　And
would　the　volcano　burst　at　last？

〃Sometimes　the　Count　would　give　me　a　look　of　that　sagacious　and　keen…
eyed　curiosity　by　which　one　man　searches　another　when　he　desires　an
accomplice；　then　he　shunned　my　eye　as　he　saw　it　open　a　mouth；　so　to
speak；　insisting　on　a　reply；　and　seeming　to　say；　'Speak　first！'　Now
and　then　Comte　Octave's　melancholy　was　surly　and　gruff。　If　these
spurts　of　temper　offended　me；　he　could　get　over　it　without　thinking　of
asking　my　pardon；　but　then　his　manners　were　gracious　to　the　point　of
Christian　humility。

〃When　I　became　attached　like　a　son　to　this　manto　me　such　a　mystery；
but　so　intelligible　to　the　outer　world；　to　whom　the　epithet　eccentric
is　enough　to　account　for　all　the　enigmas　of　the　heartI　changed　the
state　of　the　house。　Neglect　of　his　own　interests　was　carried　by　the
Count　to　the　length　of　folly　in　the　management　of　his　affairs。
Possessing　an　income　of　about　a　hundred　and　sixty　thousand　francs；
without　including　the　emoluments　of　his　appointmentsthree　of　which
did　not　come　under　the　law　against　pluralityhe　spent　sixty　thousand；
of　which　at　least　thirty　thousand　went　to　his　servants。　By　the　end　of
the　first　year　I　had　got　rid　of　all　these　rascals；　and　begged　His
Excellency　to　use　his　influence　in　helping　me　to　get　honest　servants。
By　the　end　of　the　second　year　the　Count；　better　fed　and　better　served；
enjoyed　the　comforts　of　modern　life；　he　had　fine　horses；　supplied　by　a
coachman　to　whom　I　paid　so　much　a　month　for　each　horse；　his　dinners