honorine-第3章

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you；　if　my　brother…in…law's　ruin　and　my　sister's　death　had　not　fallen
on　me　like　a　thunder…bolt　from　a　clear　sky。'

〃　'Are　you　the　Count's　director？'

〃　'If　I　were；　could　I　place　you　with　him？　What　priest　could　be　capable
of　taking　advantage　of　the　secrets　which　he　learns　at　the　tribunal　of
repentance？　No；　you　owe　this　position　to　his　Highness；　the　Keeper　of
the　Seals。　My　dear　Maurice；　you　will　be　as　much　at　home　there　as　in
your　father's　house。　The　Count　will　give　you　a　salary　of　two　thousand
four　hundred　francs；　rooms　in　his　house；　and　an　allowance　of　twelve
hundred　francs　in　lieu　of　feeding　you。　He　will　not　admit　you　to　his
table；　nor　give　you　a　separate　table；　for　fear　of　leaving　you　to　the
care　of　servants。　I　did　not　accept　the　offer　when　it　was　made　to　me
till　I　was　perfectly　certain　that　Comte　Octave's　secretary　was　never
to　be　a　mere　upper　servant。　You　will　have　an　immense　amount　of　work；
for　the　Count　is　a　great　worker；　but　when　you　leave　him；　you　will　be
qualified　to　fill　the　highest　posts。　I　need　not　warn　you　to　be
discreet；　that　is　the　first　virtue　of　any　man　who　hopes　to　hold　public
appointments。'

〃You　may　conceive　of　my　curiosity。　Comte　Octave；　at　that　time；　held
one　of　the　highest　legal　appointments；　he　was　in　the　confidence　of
Madame　the　Dauphiness；　who　had　just　got　him　made　a　State　Minister；　he
led　such　a　life　as　the　Comte　de　Serizy；　whom　you　all　know；　I　think；
but　even　more　quietly；　for　his　house　was　in　the　Marais；　Rue　Payenne；
and　he　hardly　ever　entertained。　His　private　life　escaped　public
comment　by　its　hermit…like　simplicity　and　by　constant　hard　work。

〃Let　me　describe　my　position　to　you　in　a　few　words。　Having　found　in
the　solemn　headmaster　of　the　College　Saint…Louis　a　tutor　to　whom　my
uncle　delegated　his　authority；　at　the　age　of　eighteen　I　had　gone
through　all　the　classes；　I　left　school　as　innocent　as　a　seminarist；
full　of　faith；　on　quitting　Saint…Sulpice。　My　mother；　on　her　deathbed；
had　made　my　uncle　promise　that　I　should　not　become　a　priest；　but　I　was
as　pious　as　though　I　had　to　take　orders。　On　leaving　college；　the　Abbe
Loraux　took　me　into　his　house　and　made　me　study　law。　During　the　four
years　of　study　requisite　for　passing　all　the　examinations；　I　worked
hard；　but　chiefly　at　things　outside　the　arid　fields　of　jurisprudence。
Weaned　from　literature　as　I　had　been　at　college；　where　I　lived　in　the
headmaster's　house；　I　had　a　thirst　to　quench。　As　soon　as　I　had　read　a
few　modern　masterpieces；　the　works　of　all　the　preceding　ages　were
greedily　swallowed。　I　became　crazy　about　the　theatre；　and　for　a　long
time　I　went　every　night　to　the　play；　though　my　uncle　gave　me　only　a
hundred　francs　a　month。　This　parsimony；　to　which　the　good　old　man　was
compelled　by　his　regard　for　the　poor；　had　the　effect　of　keeping　a
young　man's　desires　within　reasonable　limits。

〃When　I　went　to　live　with　Comte　Octave　I　was　not　indeed　an　innocent；
but　I　thought　of　my　rare　escapades　as　crimes。　My　uncle　was　so　truly
angelic；　and　I　was　so　much　afraid　of　grieving　him；　that　in　all　those
four　years　I　had　never　spent　a　night　out。　The　good　man　would　wait　till
I　came　in　to　go　to　bed。　This　maternal　care　had　more　power　to　keep　me
within　bounds　than　the　sermons　and　reproaches　with　which　the　life　of　a
young　man　is　diversified　in　a　puritanical　home。　I　was　a　stranger　to
the　various　circles　which　make　up　the　world　of　Paris　society；　I　only
knew　some　women　of　the　better　sort；　and　none　of　the　inferior　class　but
those　I　saw　as　I　walked　about；　or　in　the　boxes　at　the　play；　and　then
only　from　the　depths　of　the　pit　where　I　sat。　If；　at　that　period；　any
one　had　said　to　me；　'You　will　see　Canalis；　or　Camille　Maupin；'　I
should　have　felt　hot　coals　in　my　head　and　in　my　bowels。　Famous　people
were　to　me　as　gods；　who　neither　spoke；　nor　walked；　nor　ate　like　other
mortals。

〃How　many　tales　of　the　Thousand…and…one　Nights　are　comprehended　in　the
ripening　of　a　youth！　How　many　wonderful　lamps　must　we　have　rubbed
before　we　understand　that　the　True　Wonderful　Lamp　is　either　luck；　or
work；　or　genius。　In　some　men　this　dream　of　the　aroused　spirit　is　but
brief；　mine　has　lasted　until　now！　In　those　days　I　always　went　to　sleep
as　Grand　Duke　of　Tuscany；as　a　millionaire；as　beloved　by　a
princess；or　famous！　So　to　enter　the　service　of　Comte　Octave；　and
have　a　hundred　louis　a　year；　was　entering　on　independent　life。　I　had
glimpses　of　some　chance　of　getting　into　society；　and　seeking　for　what
my　heart　desired　most；　a　protectress；　who　would　rescue　me　from　the
paths　of　danger；　which　a　young　man　of　two…and…twenty　can　hardly　help
treading；　however　prudent　and　well　brought　up　he　may　be。　I　began　to　be
afraid　of　myself。

〃The　persistent　study　of　other　people's　rights　into　which　I　had
plunged　was　not　always　enough　to　repress　painful　imaginings。　Yes；
sometimes　in　fancy　I　threw　myself　into　theatrical　life；　I　thought　I
could　be　a　great　actor；　I　dreamed　of　endless　triumphs　and　loves；
knowing　nothing　of　the　disillusion　hidden　behind　the　curtain；　as
everywhere　elsefor　every　stage　has　its　reverse　behind　the　scenes。　I
have　gone　out　sometimes；　my　heart　boiling；　carried　away　by　an　impulse
to　rush　hunting　through　Paris；　to　attach　myself　to　some　handsome　woman
I　might　meet；　to　follow　her　to　her　door；　watch　her；　write　to　her；
throw　myself　on　her　mercy；　and　conquer　her　by　sheer　force　of　passion。
My　poor　uncle；　a　heart　consumed　by　charity；　a　child　of　seventy　years；
as　clear…sighted　as　God；　as　guileless　as　a　man　of　genius；　no　doubt
read　the　tumult　of　my　soul；　for　when　he　felt　the　tether　by　which　he
held　me　strained　too　tightly　and　ready　to　break；　he　would　never　fail
to　say；　'Here；　Maurice；　you　too　are　poor！　Here　are　twenty　francs；　go
and　amuse　yourself；　you　are　not　a　priest！'　And　if　you　could　have　seen
the　dancing　light　that　gilded　his　gray　eyes；　the　smile　that　relaxed
his　fine　lips；　puckering　the　corners　of　his　mouth；　the　adorable
expression　of　that　august　face；　whose　native　ugliness　was　redeemed　by
the　spirit　of　an　apostle；　you　would　understand　the　feeling　which　made
me　answer　the　Cure　of　White　Friars　only　with　a　kiss；　as　if　he　had　been
my　mother。

〃　'In　Comte　Octave　you　will　find　not　a　master；　but　a　friend；'　said　my
uncle　on　the　way　to　the　Rue　Payenne。　'But　he　is　distrustful；　or　to　be
more　exact；　he　is　cautious。　The　statesman's　friendship　can　be　won　only
with　time；　for　in　spite　of　his　deep　insight　and　his　habit　of　gauging
men；　he　was　deceived　by　the　man　you　are　succeeding；　and　nearly　became
a　victim　to　his　abuse　of　confidence。　This　is　enough　to　guide　you　in
your　behavior　to　him。'

〃When　we　knocked　at　the　enormous　outer　door　of　a　house　as　large　as　the
Hotel　Carnavalet；　with　a　courtyard　in　front　and　a　garden　behind；　the
sound　rang　as　in　a　desert。　While　my　uncle　inquired　of　an　old　porter　in
livery　if　the　Count　were　at　home；　I　cast　my　eyes；　seeing　everything　at
once；　over　the　courtyard　where　the　cobblestones　were　hidden　in　the
grass；　the　blackened　walls　where　little　gardens　were　flourishing　above
the　decorations　of　the　elegant　architecture；　and　on　the　roof；　as　high
as　that　of　the　Tuileries。　The　balustrade　of　the　upper　balconies　was
eaten　away。　Through　a　magnificent　colonnade　I　could　see　a　second　court
on　one　side；　where　were　the　offices；　the　door　was　rotting。　An　old
coachman　was　there　cleaning　an　old　carriage。　The　indifferent　air　of
this　servant　allowed　me　to　assume　that　the　handsome　stables；　where　of
old　so　many　horses　had　whinnied；　now　sheltered　two　at　most。　The
handsome　facade　of　the　house　seemed　to　me　gloomy；　like　that　of　a
mansion　belonging　to　the　State　or　the　Crown；　and　given　up　to　some
public　office。　A　bell　rang　as　we　walked　across；　my　uncle　and　I；　from
the　porter's　lodge/Inquire　of　the　Porter/　was　still　written　over　the
doortowards　the　outside　steps；　where　a　footman　came　out　in　a　livery
like　that　of　Labranche　at　the　Theatre　Francais　in　the　old　stock　plays。
A　visitor　was　so　rare　that　the　servant　was　putting　his　coat　on　when　he
opened　a　glass　door　with　small　panes；　on　each　side　of　which　the　smoke
of　a　lamp　had　traced　patterns　on　the　walls。

〃A　hall　so　magnificent　as　to　be　worthy　of　Versailles　ended　in　a
staircase　such　as　will　never　again　be　built　in　France；　taking　up　as
much　space　as　the　whole　of