honorine-第19章

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anxiety？　Do　not　fear　that　you　will　be　exposed　to　the　laments　of　a
suppliant　passion；　I　would　not　want　you　back　until　I　felt　certain　of
my　own　strength　to　leave　you　in　perfect　freedom。

〃　'Your　solitary　pride　has　exaggerated　the　difficulties。　You　may；　if
you　will；　look　on　at　the　life　of　a　brother；　or　of　a　father；　without
either　suffering　or　joy；　but　you　will　find　neither　mockery　nor
indifference；　nor　have　any　doubt　as　to　his　intentions。　The　warmth　of
the　atmosphere　in　which　you　live　will　be　always　equable　and　genial；
without　tempests；　without　a　possible　squall。　If；　later；　when　you　feel
secure　that　you　are　as　much　at　home　as　in　your　own　little　house；　you
desire　to　try　some　other　elements　of　happiness；　pleasures；　or
amusements；　you　can　expand　their　circle　at　your　will。　The　tenderness
of　a　mother　knows　neither　contempt　nor　pity。　What　is　it？　Love　without
desire。　Well；　in　me　admiration　shall　hide　every　sentiment　in　which　you
might　see　an　offence。

〃　'Thus；　living　side　by　side；　we　may　both　be　magnanimous。　In　you　the
kindness　of　a　sister；　the　affectionate　thoughtfulness　of　a　friend；
will　satisfy　the　ambition　of　him　who　wishes　to　be　your　life's
companion；　and　you　may　measure　his　tenderness　by　the　care　he　will　take
to　conceal　it。　Neither　you　nor　I　will　be　jealous　of　the　past；　for　we
may　each　acknowledge　that　the　other　has　sense　enough　to　look　only
straight　forward。

〃　'Thus　you　will　be　at　home　in　your　new　house　exactly　as　you　are　in
the　Rue　Saint…Maur；　unapproachable；　alone；　occupied　as　you　please；
living　by　your　own　law；　but　having　in　addition　the　legitimate
protection；　of　which　you　are　now　exacting　the　most　chivalrous　labors
of　love；　with　the　consideration　which　lends　so　much　lustre　to　a　woman；
and　the　fortune　which　will　allow　of　your　doing　many　good　works。
Honorine；　when　you　long　for　an　unnecessary　absolution；　you　have　only
to　ask　for　it；　it　will　not　be　forced　upon　you　by　the　Church　or　by　the
Law；　it　will　wait　on　your　pride；　on　your　own　impulsion。　My　wife　might
indeed　have　to　fear　all　the　things　you　dread；　but　not　my　friend　and
sister；　towards　whom　I　am　bound　to　show　every　form　and　refinement　of
politeness。　To　see　you　happy　is　enough　happiness　for　me；　I　have　proved
this　for　the　seven　years　past。　The　guarantee　for　this；　Honorine；　is　to
be　seen　in　all　the　flowers　made　by　you；　carefully　preserved；　and
watered　by　my　tears。　Like　the　/quipos/；　the　tally　cords　of　the
Peruvians；　they　are　the　record　of　our　sorrows。

〃　'If　this　secret　compact　does　not　suit　you；　my　child；　I　have　begged
the　saintly　man　who　takes　charge　of　this　letter　not　to　say　a　word　in
my　behalf。　I　will　not　owe　your　return　to　the　terrors　threatened　by　the
Church；　nor　to　the　bidding　of　the　Law。　I　will　not　accept　the　simple
and　quiet　happiness　that　I　ask　from　any　one　but　yourself。　If　you
persist　in　condemning　me　to　the　lonely　life；　bereft　even　of　a
fraternal　smile；　which　I　have　led　for　nine　years；　if　you　remain　in
your　solitude　and　show　no　sign；　my　will　yields　to　yours。　Understand　me
perfectly：　you　shall　be　no　more　troubled　that　you　have　been　until　this
day。　I　will　get　rid　of　the　crazy　fellow　who　has　meddled　in　your
concerns；　and　has　perhaps　caused　you　some　annoyance　。　。　。'

〃　'Monsieur；'　said　Honorine；　folding　up　the　letter；　which　she　placed
in　her　bosom；　and　looking　at　my　uncle；　'thank　you　very　much。　I　will
avail　myself　of　Monsieur　le　Comte's　permission　to　remain　here'

〃　'Ah！'　I　exclaimed。

〃This　exclamation　made　my　uncle　look　at　me　uneasily；　and　won　from　the
Countess　a　mischievous　glance；　which　enlightened　me　as　to　her　motives。

〃Honorine　had　wanted　to　ascertain　whether　I　were　an　actor；　a　bird
snarer；　and　I　had　the　melancholy　satisfaction　of　deceiving　her　by　my
exclamation；　which　was　one　of　those　cries　from　the　heart　which　women
understand　so　well。

〃　'Ah；　Maurice；'　said　she；　'you　know　how　to　love。'

〃The　light　that　flashed　in　my　eyes　was　another　reply　which　would　have
dissipated　the　Countess'　uneasiness　if　she　still　had　any。　Thus　the
Count　found　me　useful　to　the　very　last。

〃Honorine　then　took　out　the　Count's　letter　again　to　finish　reading　it。
My　uncle　signed　to　me；　and　I　rose。

〃　'Let　us　leave　the　Countess；'　said　he。

〃　'You　are　going　already　Maurice？'　she　said；　without　looking　at　me。

〃She　rose；　and　still　reading；　followed　us　to　the　door。　On　the
threshold　she　took　my　hand；　pressed　it　very　affectionately；　and　said；
'We　shall　meet　again　。　。　。'

〃　'No；'　I　replied；　wringing　her　hand；　so　that　she　cried　out。　'You　love
your　husband。　I　leave　to…morrow。'

〃And　I　rushed　away；　leaving　my　uncle；　to　whom　she　said：

〃　'Why；　what　is　the　matter　with　your　nephew？'

〃The　good　Abbe　completed　my　work　by　pointing　to　his　head　and　heart；　as
much　as　to　say；　'He　is　mad；　madame；　you　must　forgive　him！'　and　with
all　the　more　truth；　because　he　really　thought　it。

〃Six　days　after；　I　set　out　with　an　appointment　as　vice…consul　in
Spain；　in　a　large　commercial　town；　where　I　could　quickly　qualify　to
rise　in　the　career　of　a　consul；　to　which　I　now　restricted　my　ambition。
After　I　had　established　myself　there；　I　received　this　letter　from　the
Count：

〃　'MY　DEAR　MAURICE；

〃　'If　I　were　happy；　I　should　not　write　to　you；　but　I　have　entered　on　a
new　life　of　suffering。　I　have　grown　young　again　in　my　desires；　with
all　the　impatience　of　a　man　of　forty；　and　the　prudence　of　a
diplomatist；　who　has　learned　to　moderate　his　passion。　When　you　left　I
had　not　yet　been　admitted　to　the　/pavillon/　in　the　Rue　Saint…Maur；　but
a　letter　had　promised　me　that　I　should　have　permissionthe　mild　and
melancholy　letter　of　a　woman　who　dreaded　the　agitations　of　a　meeting。
After　waiting　for　more　than　a　month；　I　made　bold　to　call；　and　desired
Gobain　to　inquire　whether　I　could　be　received。　I　sat　down　in　a　chair
in　the　avenue　near　the　lodge；　my　head　buried　in　my　hands；　and　there　I
remained　for　almost　an　hour。

〃　'　〃Madame　had　to　dress；〃　said　Gobain；　to　hide　Honorine's　hesitancy
under　a　pride　of　appearance　which　was　flattering　to　me。

〃　'During　a　long　quarter　of　an　hour　we　both　of　us　were　possessed　by　an
involuntary　nervous　trembling　as　great　as　that　which　seizes　a　speaker
on　the　platform；　and　we　spoke　to　each　other　sacred　phrases；　like　those
of　persons　taken　by　surprise　who　〃make　believe〃　a　conversation。

〃　'　〃You　see；　Honorine；〃　said　I；　my　eyes　full　of　tears；　〃the　ice　is
broken；　and　I　am　so　tremulous　with　happiness　that　you　must　forgive　the
incoherency　of　my　language。　It　will　be　so　for　a　long　time　yet。〃

〃　'　〃There　is　no　crime　in　being　in　love　with　your　wife；〃　said　she　with
a　forced　smile。

〃　'　〃Do　me　the　favor；〃　said　I；　〃no　longer　to　work　as　you　do。　I　have
heard　from　Madame　Gobain　that　for　three　weeks　you　have　been　living　on
your　savings；　you　have　sixty　thousand　francs　a　year　of　your　own；　and
if　you　cannot　give　me　back　your　heart；　at　least　do　not　abandon　your
fortune　to　me。〃

〃　'　〃I　have　long　known　your　kindness；〃　said　she。

〃　'　〃Though　you　should　prefer　to　remain　here；〃　said　I；　〃and　to
preserve　your　independence；　though　the　most　ardent　love　should　find　no
favor　in　your　eyes；　still；　do　not　toil。〃

〃　'I　gave　her　three　certificates　for　twelve　thousand　francs　a　year
each；　she　took　them；　opened　them　languidly；　and　after　reading　them
through　she　gave　me　only　a　look　as　my　reward。　She　fully　understood
that　I　was　not　offering　her　money；　but　freedom。

〃　'　〃I　am　conquered；〃　said　she；　holding　out　her　hand；　which　I　kissed。
〃Come　and　see　me　as　often　as　you　like。〃

〃　'So　she　had　done　herself　a　violence　in　receiving　me。　Next　day　I
found　her　armed　with　affected　high　spirits；　and　it　took　two　months　of
habit　before　I　saw　her　in　her　true　character。　But　then　it　was　like　a
delicious　May；　a　springtime　of　love　that　gave　me　ineffable　bliss；　she
was　no　longer　afraid；　she　was　studying　me。　Alas！　when　I　proposed　that
she　should　go　to　England　to　return　ostensibly　to　me；　to　our　home；　that
she　should　resume　her　rank　and　live　in　our　new　residence；　she　was
seized　with　alarm。

〃　'　〃Why　not　live　always　as　we　are？〃　she　said。

〃　'I　submitted　without　saying　a　word。

〃　'　〃Is　she　making　an　experiment？〃　I　asked　myself　as　I　left　her。　On　my
way　from　my　own　house　to　the　Rue　Saint…Maur　thoughts　of　love　had
swelled　in　my　heart；　and　I　ha