a girl of the limberlost-第85章
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〃What have you thought of that you wanted yet; Edith?〃
he asked lightly as he stretched himself at her feet。
〃You!〃
Henderson lay tense and very still。
〃Well; I am here!〃
〃Thank Heaven for that!〃
Henderson sat up suddenly; leaning toward her with
questioning eyes。 Not knowing what he dared say;
afraid of the hope which found birth in his heart; he tried
to shield her and at the same time to feel his way。
〃I am more thankful than I can express that you feel
so;〃 he said。 〃I would be of use; of comfort; to you if I
knew how; Edith。〃
〃You are my only comfort;〃 she said。 〃I tried to send
you away。 I thought I didn't want you。 I thought I
couldn't bear the sight of you; because of what you have
seen me suffer。 But I went to the root of this thing last
night; Hart; and with self in mind; as usual; I found that
I could not live without you。〃
Henderson began breathing lightly。 He was afraid to
speak or move。
〃I faced the fact that all this is my own fault;〃
continued Edith; 〃and came through my own selfishness。
Then I went farther back and realized that I am as I
was reared。 I don't want to blame my parents; but I
was carefully trained into what I am。 If Elnora Comstock had
been like me; Phil would have come back to me。 I can see
how selfish I seem to him; and how I appear to you; if you
would admit it。〃
〃Edith;〃 said Henderson desperately; 〃there is no use
to try to deceive you。 You have known from the first
that I found you wrong in this。 But it's the first time in
your life I ever thought you wrong about anythingand
it's the only time I ever shall。 Understand; I think you
the bravest; most beautiful woman on earth; the one most
worth loving。〃
〃I'm not to be considered in the same class with her。〃
〃I don't grant that; but if I did; you; must remember
how I compare with Phil。 He's my superior at every point。
There's no use in discussing that。 You wanted to see me; Edith。
What did you want?〃
〃I wanted you to not go away。〃
〃Not at all?〃
〃Not at all! Not ever! Not unless you take me with
you; Hart。〃
She slightly extended one hand to him。 Henderson took
that hand; kissing it again and again。
〃Anything you want; Edith;〃 he said brokenly。 〃Just as
you wish it。 Do you want me to stay here; and go on as
we have been?〃
〃Yes; only with a difference。〃
〃Can you tell me; Edith?〃
〃First; I want you to know that you are the dearest
thing on earth to me; right now。 I would give up
everything else; before I would you。 I can't honestly say
that I love you with the love you deserve。 My heart is
too sore。 It's too soon to know。 But I love you some way。
You are necessary to me。 You are my comfort; my shield。
If you want me; as you know me to be; Hart; you may consider
me yours。 I give you my word of honour I will try to be
as you would have me; just as soon as I can。〃
Henderson kissed her hand passionately。 〃Don't; Edith;〃
he begged。 〃Don't say those things。 I can't bear it。
I understand。 Everything will come right in time。
Love like mine must bring a reward。 You will love me
some day。 I can wait。 I am the most patient fellow。〃
〃But I must say it;〃 cried Edith。 〃II think; Hart;
that I have been on the wrong road to find happiness。
I planned to finish life as I started it with Phil; and you
see how glad he was to change。 He wanted the other sort of
girl far more than he ever wanted me。 And you; Hart;
honest; nowI'll know if you don't tell me the truth!
Would you rather have a wife as I planned to live life with
Phil; or would you rather have her as Elnora Comstock intends
to live with him?〃
〃Edith!〃 cried the man; 〃Edith!〃
〃Of course; you can't say it in plain English;〃 said the girl。
〃You are far too chivalrous for that。 You needn't
say anything。 I am answered。 If you could have your
choice you wouldn't have a society wife; either。 In your
heart you'd like the smaller home of comfort; the furtherance
of your ambitions; the palatable meals regularly served;
and little children around you。 I am sick of all we
have grown up to; Hart。 When your hour of trouble
comes; there is no comfort for you。 I am tired to death。
You find out what you want to do; and be; that is a man's
work in the world; and I will plan our home; with no
thought save your comfort。 I'll be the other kind of a girl;
as fast as I can learn。 I can't correct all my faults in one
day; but I'll change as rapidly as I can。〃
〃God knows; I will be different; too; Edith。 You shall
not be the only generous one。 I will make all the rest of
life worthy of you。 I will change; too!〃
〃Don't you dare!〃 said Edith Carr; taking his head between
her hands and holding it against her knees; while the
tears slid down her cheeks。 〃Don't you dare change; you
big…hearted; splendid lover! I am little and selfish。
You are the very finest; just as you are!〃
Henderson was not talking then; so they sat through a
long silence。 At last he heard Edith draw a quick
breath; and lifting his head he looked where she pointed。
Up a fern stalk climbed a curious looking object。
They watched breathlessly。 By lavender feet clung a big;
pursy; lavender…splotched; yellow body。 Yellow and lavender
wings began to expand and take on colour。 Every instant
great beauty became more apparent。 It was one of those
double…brooded freaks; which do occur on rare occasions;
or merely an Eacles Imperialis moth that in the cool damp
northern forest had failed to emerge in June。 Edith Carr
drew back with a long; shivering breath。 Henderson caught
her hands and gripped them firmly。 Steadily she
looked the thought of her heart into his eyes。
〃By all the powers; you shall not!〃 swore the man。
〃You have done enough。 I will smash that thing!〃
〃Oh no you won't!〃 cried the girl; clinging to his hands。
〃I am not big enough yet; Hart; but before I leave this
forest I shall have grown to breadth and strength to carry
that to her。 She needs two of each kind。 Phil only sent
her one!〃
〃Edith I can't bear it! That's not demanded! Let me
take it!〃
〃You may go with me。 I know where the O'More cottage is。
I have been there often。〃
〃I'll say you sent it!〃
〃You may watch me deliver it!〃
〃Phil may be there by now。〃
〃I hope he is! I should like him to see me do one decent
thing by which to remember me。〃
〃I tell you that is not necessary!〃
〃‘Not necessary!'〃 cried the girl; her big eyes shining。
〃Not necessary? Then what on earth is the thing doing
here? I just have boasted that I would change; that I
would be like her; that I would grow bigger and broader。
As the words are spoken God gives me the opportunity to
prove whether I am sincere。 This is my test; Hart! Don't
you see it? If I am big enough to carry that to her; you
will believe that there is some good in me。 You will not
be loving me in vain。 This is an especial Providence; man!
Be my strength! Help me; as you always have done!〃
Henderson arose and shook the leaves from his clothing。
He drew Edith Carr to her feet and carefully picked the
mosses from her skirts。 He went to the water and
moistened his handkerchief to bathe her face。
〃Now a dust of powder;〃 he said when the tears were
washed away。
From a tiny book Edith tore leaves that she passed over
her face。
〃All gone!〃 cried Henderson; critically studying her。
〃You look almost half as lovely as you really are!〃
Edith Carr drew a wavering breath。 She stretched one
hand to him。
〃Hold tight; Hart!〃 she said。 〃I know they handle
these things; but I would quite as soon touch a snake。〃
Henderson clenched his teeth and held steadily。 The moth
had emerged too recently to be troublesome。 It climbed
on her fingers quietly and obligingly clung