the captives-第5章
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!
The house that night was very strange with her father dead in it。 She sat; because she thought it her duty; in his bedroom。 He lay on his bed; with his beard carefully combed and brushed now; spread out upon the sheet。 His closed eyes and mouth gave him a grave and reverend appearance which he had never worn in his life。 He lay there; under the flickering candle…light; like some saint who at length; after a life of severe discipline; had entered into the joy of his Lord。 Beneath the bed was the big black box。
Maggie did not look at her father。 She sat there; near the dark window; her hands folded on her lap。 She thought of nothing at all except the rats。 She was not afraid of them but they worried her。 They had been a trouble in the house for a long time past; poison had been laid for them and they had refused to take it。 They had had; perhaps; some fear of the Reverend Charles; at any rate they scampered and scurried now behind the wainscoting as though conscious of their release。 〃Even the rats are glad;〃 Maggie thought to herself。 In the uncertain candle…light the fancy seized her that one rat; a very large one; had crept out from his hole; crawled on to the bed; and now sat on the sheet looking at her father。 It would be a horrible thing did the rat walk across her father's beard; and yet for her life she could not move。 She waited; fascinated。 She fancied that the beard stirred a little as though the rat had moved it。 She fancied that the rat grew and grew in size; now there were many of them; all with their little sharp beady eyes watching the corpse。 Now there were none; only the large limbs outlined beneath the spread; the waxen face; the ticking clock; the strange empty shape of his grey dressing…gown hanging upon a nail on the wall。 Where was her father gone? She did not know; she did not careonly she trusted that she would never meet him againnever again。 Her head nodded; her hands and feet were cold; the candle…light jumped; the rats scampered 。 。 。 she slept。
When it was quite dark beyond the windows and the candles were low Maggie came downstairs; stiff; cold; and very hungry。 She felt that it was wrong to have slept and very wrong to be hungry; but there it was; she did not pretend to herself that things were other than they were。 In the dining…room she found supper laid out upon the table; cold beef; potatoes in their jackets; cold beetroot; jelly; and cheese; and her uncle playing cards on the unoccupied end of the table in a melancholy manner by himself。 She felt that it was wrong of him to play cards on such an occasion; but the cards were such dirty grey ones and he obtained obviously so little pleasure from his amusement that he could not be considered to be wildly abandoning himself to riot and extravagance。
She felt pleasure in his company; for the first time since her father's death she was a little frightened and uneasy。 She might even have gone to him and cried on his shoulder had he given her any encouragement; but he did not speak to her except to say that he had already eaten。 He was still a little sulky with her。
When she had finished her meal she sat in her accustomed chair by the fire; her head propped on her hands; looking into the flame; and there; half…asleep; half…awake; memories; conversations; long… vanished scenes trooped before her eyes as though they were bidding her a long farewell。 She did not; as she sat there; sentimentalise about any of them; she saw them as they were; some happy; some unhappy; some terrifying; some amusing; all of them dead and passed; grey and thin; the life gone out of them。 Her mind was fixed on the future。 What was it going to be? Would she have money as her uncle had said? Would she see London and the world? Would she find friends; people who would be glad to be with her and have her with them? What would her aunts be like? and so from them; what about all the other members of the family of whom she had heard? She painted for herself a gay scene in which; at the door of some great house; a fine gathering of Cardinals waited with smiles and outstretched hands to welcome her。 Then; laughing at herself as she always did when she had allowed her fancy free rein; she shook her head。 No; it certainly would not be like that。 Relations were not like that。 That was not the way to face the world to encourage romantic dreams。 Her uncle; watching her surreptitiously; wondered of what she was thinking。 Her determined treatment of him that afternoon continued to surprise him。 She certainly ought to make her way in the world; but what a pity that she was so plain。 Perhaps if she got some colour into her cheeks; dressed better; brushed her hair differentlyno; her mouth would always be too large and her nose too smalland her figure was absurd。 Uncle Mathew considered that he was a judge of women。
He rose at last and; rather shamefacedly; said that he should go to bed。 Maggie wondered at the confusion that she detected in him。 She looked at him and he dropped his eyes。
〃Good night; Uncle Mathew。〃
He looked at her then and noticed by her white face and dark…lined eyes what a strain the day had been to her。 He saw again the figure in the shabby black hat sobbing in the lane。 He suddenly put his arms about her and held her close to him。 She noticed that he smelled of whisky; but she felt his kindness; and putting her hand on his fat shoulder kissed once more his cheek。
When he had left her; her weariness came suddenly down upon her; overwhelming her as though the roof had fallen in。 The lamp swelled before her tired eyes as though it had been an evil; unhealthy flower。 The table slid into the chairs and the cold beef leered at the jelly; the pictures jumped and the clock ran in a mad scurry backwards and forwards。
She dragged her dazed body up through the silent house to her bedroom; undressed; was instantly in bed and asleep。
She slept without dreams but woke suddenly as though she had been flung into the midst of one。 She sat up in bed; knowing from the thumping of her heart that she was seized with panic but finding; in the first flash; no reason for her alarm。 The room was pitch black with shadows of light here and there; but she had with her; in the confusion of her sleep; uncertainty as to the different parts of the room。 What had awakened her? Of what was she frightened? Then suddenly; as one slits a black screen with a knife; a thin line of light cracked the darkness。 As though some one had whispered it in her ear she knew that the door was there and the dark well of uncertainty into which she had been plunged was suddenly changed into her own room where she could recognise the window; the chest of drawers; the looking…glass; the chairs。 Some one was opening her door and her first thought that it was of course her father was checked instantly by the knowledge; conveyed again as though some one had whispered to her; that her father was dead。
The thin line of light was now a wedge; it wavered; drew back to a spider's thread again; then broadened with a flush of colour into a streaming path。 Some one stood in the doorway holding a candle。 Maggie saw that it was Uncle Mathew in his shirt and trousers。
〃What is it?〃 she said。
He swayed as he stood there; his candle making fantastic leaps and shallows of light。 He was smiling at her in a silly way and she saw that he was drunk。 She had had a horror of drunkenness ever since; as a little girl; she had watched an inebriated carter kicking his wife。 She always; after that; saw the woman's bent head and stooping shoulders。 Now she knew; sitting up in bed; that she was frightened not only of Uncle Mathew; but of the house; of the whole world。
She was alone。 She realised her loneliness in a great flash of bewilderment and cold terror as though the ground had suddenly broken away from her and she was on the edge of a vast pit。 There was no one in the house to help her。 Her father was dead。 The cook and the maid were sunk in heavy slumber at the other end of the house。 There was no one to help her。 She was alone; and it seemed to her that in the shock of that discovery she realised that she would always be alone now; for the rest of her life。
〃What is it; Uncle Mathew?〃 she said again。 Her voice w