the captives-第32章
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s liable as any young man in the world to the most sudden and most violent enthusiasms； but they had been enthusiasms for a pretty face； for a sensual appeal； for a sentimental moment。 Here there was no prettiness； no sensuality； no sentiment。 There was something so new that he felt like Cortez upon his peak in Darien。
〃It's all right；〃 he reassured her urgently。 〃It's all right。 I promise you it is。 The great thing is to look yourself。 And you'll never be the least like any one else。〃 He meant that to be the first open declaration of his own particular discovery of her； but he was aware that his sentence could have more than one interpretation。 Uncomfortably conscious then of his sister's regard of them； he looked up and said：
〃Amy； Miss Cardinal's been telling me how confusing London is to her。 You've got as good an idea of London as any one in the world。 You should take her to one or two places and show her things。〃
Amy Warlock； every line of her stiff body firing at them both her hostility； answered：
〃Oh； I don't think Miss Cardinal would care for me as a guide。 _I_ shouldn't be able to show her interesting things。 We have scarcely； I should fancy； enough in common。 Miss Cardinal's interests are； I imagine； very different from my own。〃
The tone； the words； fell into the sudden silence like a lighted match into water。 Maggie； her head erect； her voice； in spite of herself； trembling a little； answered：
〃Why； Miss Warlock； I shouldn't think of troubling you。 It's very kind of your brother； but one must make one's discoveries for oneself； mustn't one？ 。 。 。 I am already beginning to find my way about。〃
After that the tea…party fell into complete disruption。 Maggie； although she did not look； could feel Martin's anger like a flame beside her。 She was aware that Aunt Anne and Mr。 Warlock were； like some beings from another world； distant from the general confusion。 Her one passionate desire was to get up and leave the place； to her intense relief she heard Aunt Anne's clear voice：
〃I think； Mrs。 Warlock； we must be turning homewards。 Shall I send you those papers about the Perteway's Mission？ 。 。 。 Such splendid work。 I think it would interest you。〃
It was as though a hole had suddenly opened in the floor of the neat little drawing…room and they were all hurrying to leave without； if possible； tumbling into it。 There was a general shaking of hands。
Mrs。 Warlock said kindly to Maggie：
〃Do come soon again； dear。 It does an old lady good to see young faces。〃
Martin was near the door。 He almost crushed Maggie's hand in his： 〃I must see yousoon；〃 he whispered。
Free from the house Maggie and her aunt walked home in complete silence。 Maggie's heart was a confusion of rage； surprise； loneliness and pride。 No one had ever behaved like that to her before。 And what had she done？ What was there about her that people hated？ 。 。 。 Why？ 。 。 。 Why？ She felt as though； in some way； it had all been Aunt Anne's fault。 Why did not Aunt Anne speak？ Well； if they all hated her she would go on her own way。 She did not care。
But alone in her room； her face； indignant； proud； quivering； surprising her in the long mirror by its strangeness； and causing her to feel； because it did not seem to belong to her； more lonely than ever； she burst out：
〃I can't stand it。 I CAN'T stand it。 I'll get away 。 。 。 so soon as ever I can！〃
CHAPTER III
MAGGIE AND MARTIN
That moment in her bedroom altered for Maggie the course of all her future life。 She had never before been； consciously； a rebel； she had； only a week before； almost acquiesced in the thought that she would remain in her aunts' house for the rest of her days； now Mr。 Magnus； the Warlocks； and her new dress had combined to fire her determination。 She saw； quite suddenly； that she must escape at the first possible moment。
The house that had been until now the refuge into which she had escaped became the jumping…off place for her new adventure。
Until now the things in the house had been there to receive her as one of themselves； from this moment they were there to prevent； if possible； her release。 She felt everything instantly hostile。 They allThomas the cat； Edward the parrot； the very sofas and chairs and cushionswere determined not to let her go。
She saw； more than ever before； that her aunts were preparing some religious trap for her。 They were very quiet about it； they did not urge her or bully her； but the subtle； silent influence went on so that the very stair…carpet； the very scuttles that held the coal； became secret messengers to hale her into the chapel and shut her in there for ever。 After her first visit there the chapel became a nightmare to herbecause； at once； she had felt its power。 She had knownshe had always known and it had not needed Mr。 Magnus to tell herthat there was something in this religionyes； even in the wretched dirt and disorder of her father's soulbut with that realisation that there was indeed something； had come also the resolved conviction that life could not be happy； simple； successful unless one broke from that power utterly； refused its dictates； gave no hearing to its messages； surrendered nothingabsolutely nothing… …to its influence。 Had not some one said to her once； or was it not in her little red A Kempis； that 〃once caught one might never escape again〃？
She would prove that； in her own struggle and independence； to be untrue。 The chapel should not have her； nor her father's ghost； nor the dim half…visualised thoughts and memories that rose like dark shadows in her soul and vanished again。 She would believe in nothing save what she could see； listen to nothing that was not clear and simple before her。 She was mistress of her own soul。
She did not； in this fashion； think things out for herself。 To herself she simply expressed it that she was going to lead her own life； to earn her own living； to fight for herself； and that the sooner she escaped this gloomy； damp； and ill…tempered house the better。 She would never say her prayers again； she would never read the Bible again to herself or any one else； she would never kneel on those hard chapel kneelers again； she would never listen to Mr。 Warlock's sermons againonce she had escaped。
Meanwhile she said nothing at all to herself about Martin Warlock； who was really at the root of the whole matter。
She began at once to take steps。 Two years before this a lady had paid； with her sister； a short visit to St。 Dreots and had taken a great liking to Maggie。 They had made friends； and this lady； a Miss Katherine Trenchard； had begged Maggie to let her know if she came to London and needed help or advice。 Miss Trenchard divided her life between London and a place called Garth in Roselands in Glebeshire； and Maggie did not know where she would be nowbut； after some little hesitation； she wrote a letter； speaking of the death of her father and of her desire to find some work in London； and directed it to Garth。
Now of course she must post it herselfno allowing it to lie on the hall…table with old Martha to finger it and the aunts to speculate upon it and finally challenge her with its destiny。
On a bright evening when the house was as dark as a shut box and an early star； frightened at its irregular and lonely appearance； suddenly flashed like a curl of a golden whip across the sky； Maggie slipped out of the house。 She realised； with a triumphant and determined nod of her head； that she had never been out alone in London beforea ridiculous and shameful fact！ She knew that there was a pillar…box just round the corner； but because she had a hat upon her head and shoes upon her feet she thought that she might as well post it in the Strand； an EXCITING river of tempestuous sound into which she had as yet scarcely penetrated。 She slipped out of the front door； then waited a moment； looking back at the silent house。 No one stirred in their street； the noise of the Strand came up to her like wind beyond a valley。 She must have felt； in that instant； that she was making some plunge into hazardous waters and she must have hesitated as to whether she would not spring back into the quiet house； lock and bolt the door； and never go out again。 But； after that o
