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第47章

ursula-第47章

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  desire to make you happy。 His fortune; already suitable; is

  nothing to that which he will make for you when you are once his

  wife。 You shall be received at court as the wife of a minister and

  one of the first ladies in the land。



  As he sees you every day (without your being able to see him) put

  a pot of La Bougival's pinks in your window and he will understand

  from that that he has your permission to present himself。



Ursula burned the letter and said nothing about it to Savinien。 Two

days later she received another letter in the following language:



  〃You do wrong; my dear Ursula; not to answer one who loves you

  better than life itself。 You think you will marry Savinienyou

  are very much mistaken。 That marriage will not take place。 Madame

  de Portenduere went this morning to Rouvre to ask for the hand of

  Mademoiselle Clementine for her son。 Savinien will yield in the

  end。 What objection can he make? The uncles of the young lady are

  willing to guarantee their fortune to her; it amounts to over

  sixty thousand francs a year。〃



This letter agonized Ursula's heart and afflicted her with the

tortures of jealousy; a form of suffering hitherto unknown to her; but

which to this fine organization; so sensitive to pain; threw a pall

over the present and over the future; and even over the past。 From the

moment when she received this fatal paper she lay on the doctor's

sofa; her eyes fixed on space; lost in a dreadful dream。 In an instant

the chill of death had come upon her warm young life。 Alas; worse than

that! it was like the awful awakening of the dead to the sense that

there was no God;the masterpiece of that strange genius called Jean

Paul。 Four times La Bougival called her to breakfast。 When the

faithful creature tried to remonstrate; Ursula waved her hand and

answered in one harsh word; 〃Hush!〃 said despotically; in strange

contrast to her usual gentle manner。 La Bougival; watching her

mistress through the glass door; saw her alternately red with a

consuming fever; and blue as if a shudder of cold had succeeded that

unnatural heat。 This condition grew worse and worse up to four

o'clock; then she rose to see if Savinien were coming; but he did not

come。 Jealousy and distrust tear all reserves from love。 Ursula; who

till then had never made one gesture by which her love could be

guessed; now took her hat and shawl and rushed into the passage as if

to go and meet him。 But an afterthought of modesty sent her back to

her little salon; where she stayed and wept。 When the abbe arrived in

the evening La Bougival met him at the door。



〃Ah; monsieur!〃 she cried; 〃I don't know what's the matter with

mademoiselle; she is〃



〃I know;〃 said the abbe sadly; stopping the words of the poor nurse。



He then told Ursula (what she had not dared to verify) that Madame de

Portenduere had gone to dine at Rouvre。



〃And Savinien too?〃 she asked。



〃Yes。〃



Ursula was seized with a little nervous tremor which made the abbe

quiver as though a whole Leyden jar had been discharged at him; he

felt moreover a lasting commotion in his heart。



〃So we shall not go there to…night;〃 he said as gently as he could;

〃and; my child; it would be better if you did not go there again。 The

old lady will receive you in a way to wound your pride。 Monsieur

Bongrand and I; who had succeeded in bringing her to consider your

marriage; have no idea from what quarter this new influence has come

to change her; as it were in a moment。〃



〃I expect the worst; nothing can surprise me now;〃 said Ursula in a

pained voice。 〃In such extremities it is a comfort to feel that we

have done nothing to displease God。〃



〃Submit; dear daughter; and do not seek to fathom the ways of

Providence;〃 said the abbe。



〃I shall not unjustly distrust the character of Monsieur de

Portenduere〃



〃Why do you no longer call him Savinien?〃 asked the priest; who

detected a slight bitterness in Ursula's tone。



〃Of my dear Savinien;〃 cried the girl; bursting into tears。 〃Yes; my

good friend;〃 she said; sobbing; 〃a voice tells me he is as noble in

heart as he is in race。 He has not only told me that he loves me

alone; but he has proved it in a hundred delicate ways; and by

restraining heroically his ardent feelings。 Lately when he took the

hand I held out to him; that evening when Monsieur Bongrand proposed

to me a husband; it was the first time; I swear to you; that I had

ever given it。 He began with a jest when he blew me a kiss across the

street; but since then our affection has never outwardly passed; as

you well know; the narrowest limits。 But I will tell you;you who

read my soul except in this one region where none but the angels see;

well; I will tell you; this love has been in me the secret spring of

many seeming merits; it made me accept my poverty; it softened the

bitterness of my irreparable loss; for my mourning is more perhaps in

my clothes now than in my heart Oh; was I wrong? can it be that love

was stronger in me than my gratitude to my benefactor; and God has

punished me for it? But how could it be otherwise? I respected in

myself Savinien's future wife; yes; perhaps I was too proud; perhaps

it is that pride which God has humbled。 God alone; as you have often

told me; should be the end and object of all our actions。〃



The abbe was deeply touched as he watched the tears roll down her

pallid face。 The higher her sense of security had been; the lower she

was now to fall。



〃But;〃 she said; continuing; 〃if I return to my orphaned condition; I

shall know how to take up its feelings。 After all; could I have tied a

mill…stone round the neck of him I love? What can he do here? Who am I

to bind him to me? Besides; do I not love him with a friendship so

divine that I can bear the loss of my own happiness and my hopes? You

know I have often blamed myself for letting my hopes rest upon a

grave; and for knowing they were waiting on that poor old lady's

death。 If Savinien is rich and happy with another I have enough to pay

for my entrance to a convent; where I shall go at once。 There can no

more be two loves in a woman's heart than there can be two masters in

heaven; and the life of a religious is attractive to me。〃



〃He could not let his mother go alone to Rouvre;〃 said the abbe;

gently。



〃Do not let us talk of that; my dear good friend;〃 she answered。 〃I

will write to…night and set him free。 I am glad to have to close the

windows of this room;〃 she continued; telling her old friend of the

anonymous letters; but declaring that she would not allow any

inquiries to be made as to who her unknown lover might be。



〃Why! it was an anonymous letter that first took Madame de Portenduere

to Rouvre;〃 cried the abbe。 〃You are annoyed for some object by evil

persons。〃



〃How can that be? Neither Savinien nor I have injured any one; and I

am no longer an obstacle to the prosperity of others。〃



〃Well; well; my child;〃 said the abbe; quietly; 〃let us profit by this

tempest; which has scattered our little circle; to put the library in

order。 The books are still in heaps。 Bongrand and I want to get them

in order; we wish to make a search among them。 Put your trust in God;

and remember also that in our good Bongrand and in me you have two

devoted friends。〃



〃That is much; very much;〃 she said; going with him to the threshold

of the door; where she stretched out her neck like a bird looking over

its nest; hoping against hope to see Savinien。



Just then Minoret and Goupil; returning from a walk in the meadows;

stopped as they passed; and the colossus spoke to Ursula。



〃Is anything the matter; cousin; for we are still cousins; are we not?

You seem changed。〃



Goupil looked so ardently at Ursula that she was frightened; and went

back into the house without replying。



〃She is cross;〃 said Minoret to the abbe。



〃Mademoiselle Mirouet is quite right not to talk to m

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