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第15章

ursula-第15章

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fail to be persuaded by the beautiful effects of religion on the soul

of a child; where love was like those trees of Eastern climes; bearing

both flowers and fruit; always fragrant; always fertile。 A beautiful

life is more powerful than the strongest argument。 It is impossible to

resist the charms of certain sights。 The doctor's eyes were wet; he

knew not how or why; when he saw the child of his heart starting for

the church; wearing a frock of white crape; and shoes of white satin;

her hair bound with a fillet fastened at the side with a knot of white

ribbon; and rippling upon her shoulders; her eyes lighted by the star

of a first hope; hurrying; tall and beautiful; to a first union; and

loving her godfather better since her soul had risen towards God。 When

the doctor perceived that the thought of immortality was nourishing

that spirit (until then within the confines of childhood) as the sun

gives life to the earth without knowing why; he felt sorry that he

remained at home alone。



Sitting on the steps of his portico he kept his eyes fixed on the iron

railing of the gate through which the child had disappeared; saying as

she left him: 〃Why won't you come; godfather? how can I be happy

without you?〃 Though shaken to his very center; the pride of the

Encyclopedist did not as yet give way。 He walked slowly in a direction

from which he could see the procession of communicants; and

distinguish his little Ursula brilliant with exaltation beneath her

veil。 She gave him an inspired look; which knocked; in the stony

regions of his heart; on the corner closed to God。 But still the old

deist held firm。 He said to himself: 〃Mummeries! if there be a maker

of worlds; imagine the organizer of infinitude concerning himself with

such trifles!〃 He laughed as he continued his walk along the heights

which look down upon the road to the Gatinais; where the bells were

ringing a joyous peal that told of the joy of families。



The noise of backgammon is intolerable to persons who do not know the

game; which is really one of the most difficult that was ever

invented。 Not to annoy his godchild; the extreme delicacy of whose

organs and nerves could not bear; he thought; without injury the noise

and the exclamations she did not know the meaning of; the abbe; old

Jordy while living; and the doctor always waited till their child was

in bed before they began their favorite game。 Sometimes the visitors

came early when she was out for a walk; and the game would be going on

when she returned; then she resigned herself with infinite grace and

took her seat at the window with her work。 She had a repugnance to the

game; which is really in the beginning very hard and unconquerable to

some minds; so that unless it be learned in youth it is almost

impossible to take it up in after life。



The night of her first communion; when Ursula came into the salon

where her godfather was sitting alone; she put the backgammon…board

before him。



〃Whose throw shall it be?〃 she asked。



〃Ursula;〃 said the doctor; 〃isn't it a sin to make fun of your

godfather the day of your first communion?〃



〃I am not making fun of you;〃 she said; sitting down。 〃I want to give

you some pleasureyou who are always on the look…out for mine。 When

Monsieur Chaperon was pleased with me he gave me a lesson in

backgammon; and he has given me so many that now I am quite strong

enough to beat youyou shall not deprive yourself any longer for me。

I have conquered all difficulties; and now I like the noise of the

game。〃



Ursula won。 The abbe had slipped in to enjoy his triumph。 The next

day Minoret; who had always refused to let Ursula learn music; sent to

Paris for a piano; made arrangements at Fontainebleau for a teacher;

and submitted to the annoyance that her constant practicing was to

him。 One of poor Jordy's predictions was fulfilled;the girl became

an excellent musician。 The doctor; proud of her talent; had lately

sent to Paris for a master; an old German named Schmucke; a

distinguished professor who came once a week; the doctor willingly

paying for an art which he had formerly declared to be useless in a

household。 Unbelievers do not like musica celestial language;

developed by Catholicism; which has taken the names of the seven notes

from one of the church hymns; every note being the first syllable of

the seven first lines in the hymn to Saint John。



The impression produced on the doctor by Ursula's first communion

though keen was not lasting。 The calm and sweet contentment which

prayer and the exercise of resolution produced in that young soul had

not their due influence upon him。 Having no reasons for remorse or

repentance himself; he enjoyed a serene peace。 Doing his own

benefactions without hope of a celestial harvest; he thought himself

on a nobler plane than religious men whom he always accused for

making; as he called it; terms with God。



〃But;〃 the abbe would say to him; 〃if all men would be so; you must

admit that society would be regenerated; there would be no more

misery。 To be benevolent after your fashion one must needs be a great

philosopher; you rise to your principles through reason; you are a

social exception; whereas it suffices to be a Christian to make us

benevolent in ours。 With you; it is an effort; with us; it comes

naturally。〃



〃In other words; abbe; I think; and you feel;that's the whole of

it。〃



However; at twelve years of age; Ursula; whose quickness and natural

feminine perceptions were trained by her superior education; and whose

intelligence in its dawn was enlightened by a religious spirit (of all

spirits the most refined); came to understand that her godfather did

not believe in a future life; nor in the immortality of the soul; nor

in providence; nor in God。 Pressed with questions by the innocent

creature; the doctor was unable to hide the fatal secret。 Ursula's

artless consternation made him smile; but when he saw her depressed

and sad he felt how deep an affection her sadness revealed。 Absolute

devotion has a horror of every sort of disagreement; even in ideas

which it does not share。 Sometimes the doctor accepted his darling's

reasonings as he would her kisses; said as they were in the sweetest

of voices with the purest and most fervent feeling。 Believers and

unbelievers speak different languages and cannot understand each

other。 The young girl pleading God's cause was unreasonable with the

old man; as a spoilt child sometimes maltreats its mother。 The abbe

rebuked her gently; telling her that God had power to humiliate proud

spirits。 Ursula replied that David had overcome Goliath。



This religious difference; these complaints of the child who wished to

drag her godfather to God; were the only troubles of this happy life;

so peaceful; yet so full; and wholly withdrawn from the inquisitive

eyes of the little town。 Ursula grew and developed; and became in time

the modest and religiously trained young woman whom Desire admired as

she left the church。 The cultivation of flowers in the garden; her

music; the pleasures of her godfather; and all the little cares she

was able to give him (for she had eased La Bougival's labors by doing

everything for him);these things filled the hours; the days; the

months of her calm life。 Nevertheless; for about a year the doctor had

felt uneasy about his Ursula; and watched her health with the utmost

care。 Sagacious and profoundly practical observer that he was; he

thought he perceived some commotion in her moral being。 He watched her

like a mother; but seeing no one about her who was worthy of inspiring

love; his uneasiness on the subject at length passed away。



At this conjuncture; one month before the day when this drama begins;

the doctor's intellectual life was invaded by one of those events

which plough to the very depths of a man's convictions and turn them

over。 But this event needs a succinct narrative of certain

circumstances in his medic

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