ursula-第15章
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fail to be persuaded by the beautiful effects of religion on the soul
of a child; where love was like those trees of Eastern climes; bearing
both flowers and fruit; always fragrant; always fertile。 A beautiful
life is more powerful than the strongest argument。 It is impossible to
resist the charms of certain sights。 The doctor's eyes were wet; he
knew not how or why; when he saw the child of his heart starting for
the church; wearing a frock of white crape; and shoes of white satin;
her hair bound with a fillet fastened at the side with a knot of white
ribbon; and rippling upon her shoulders; her eyes lighted by the star
of a first hope; hurrying; tall and beautiful; to a first union; and
loving her godfather better since her soul had risen towards God。 When
the doctor perceived that the thought of immortality was nourishing
that spirit (until then within the confines of childhood) as the sun
gives life to the earth without knowing why; he felt sorry that he
remained at home alone。
Sitting on the steps of his portico he kept his eyes fixed on the iron
railing of the gate through which the child had disappeared; saying as
she left him: 〃Why won't you come; godfather? how can I be happy
without you?〃 Though shaken to his very center; the pride of the
Encyclopedist did not as yet give way。 He walked slowly in a direction
from which he could see the procession of communicants; and
distinguish his little Ursula brilliant with exaltation beneath her
veil。 She gave him an inspired look; which knocked; in the stony
regions of his heart; on the corner closed to God。 But still the old
deist held firm。 He said to himself: 〃Mummeries! if there be a maker
of worlds; imagine the organizer of infinitude concerning himself with
such trifles!〃 He laughed as he continued his walk along the heights
which look down upon the road to the Gatinais; where the bells were
ringing a joyous peal that told of the joy of families。
The noise of backgammon is intolerable to persons who do not know the
game; which is really one of the most difficult that was ever
invented。 Not to annoy his godchild; the extreme delicacy of whose
organs and nerves could not bear; he thought; without injury the noise
and the exclamations she did not know the meaning of; the abbe; old
Jordy while living; and the doctor always waited till their child was
in bed before they began their favorite game。 Sometimes the visitors
came early when she was out for a walk; and the game would be going on
when she returned; then she resigned herself with infinite grace and
took her seat at the window with her work。 She had a repugnance to the
game; which is really in the beginning very hard and unconquerable to
some minds; so that unless it be learned in youth it is almost
impossible to take it up in after life。
The night of her first communion; when Ursula came into the salon
where her godfather was sitting alone; she put the backgammon…board
before him。
〃Whose throw shall it be?〃 she asked。
〃Ursula;〃 said the doctor; 〃isn't it a sin to make fun of your
godfather the day of your first communion?〃
〃I am not making fun of you;〃 she said; sitting down。 〃I want to give
you some pleasureyou who are always on the look…out for mine。 When
Monsieur Chaperon was pleased with me he gave me a lesson in
backgammon; and he has given me so many that now I am quite strong
enough to beat youyou shall not deprive yourself any longer for me。
I have conquered all difficulties; and now I like the noise of the
game。〃
Ursula won。 The abbe had slipped in to enjoy his triumph。 The next
day Minoret; who had always refused to let Ursula learn music; sent to
Paris for a piano; made arrangements at Fontainebleau for a teacher;
and submitted to the annoyance that her constant practicing was to
him。 One of poor Jordy's predictions was fulfilled;the girl became
an excellent musician。 The doctor; proud of her talent; had lately
sent to Paris for a master; an old German named Schmucke; a
distinguished professor who came once a week; the doctor willingly
paying for an art which he had formerly declared to be useless in a
household。 Unbelievers do not like musica celestial language;
developed by Catholicism; which has taken the names of the seven notes
from one of the church hymns; every note being the first syllable of
the seven first lines in the hymn to Saint John。
The impression produced on the doctor by Ursula's first communion
though keen was not lasting。 The calm and sweet contentment which
prayer and the exercise of resolution produced in that young soul had
not their due influence upon him。 Having no reasons for remorse or
repentance himself; he enjoyed a serene peace。 Doing his own
benefactions without hope of a celestial harvest; he thought himself
on a nobler plane than religious men whom he always accused for
making; as he called it; terms with God。
〃But;〃 the abbe would say to him; 〃if all men would be so; you must
admit that society would be regenerated; there would be no more
misery。 To be benevolent after your fashion one must needs be a great
philosopher; you rise to your principles through reason; you are a
social exception; whereas it suffices to be a Christian to make us
benevolent in ours。 With you; it is an effort; with us; it comes
naturally。〃
〃In other words; abbe; I think; and you feel;that's the whole of
it。〃
However; at twelve years of age; Ursula; whose quickness and natural
feminine perceptions were trained by her superior education; and whose
intelligence in its dawn was enlightened by a religious spirit (of all
spirits the most refined); came to understand that her godfather did
not believe in a future life; nor in the immortality of the soul; nor
in providence; nor in God。 Pressed with questions by the innocent
creature; the doctor was unable to hide the fatal secret。 Ursula's
artless consternation made him smile; but when he saw her depressed
and sad he felt how deep an affection her sadness revealed。 Absolute
devotion has a horror of every sort of disagreement; even in ideas
which it does not share。 Sometimes the doctor accepted his darling's
reasonings as he would her kisses; said as they were in the sweetest
of voices with the purest and most fervent feeling。 Believers and
unbelievers speak different languages and cannot understand each
other。 The young girl pleading God's cause was unreasonable with the
old man; as a spoilt child sometimes maltreats its mother。 The abbe
rebuked her gently; telling her that God had power to humiliate proud
spirits。 Ursula replied that David had overcome Goliath。
This religious difference; these complaints of the child who wished to
drag her godfather to God; were the only troubles of this happy life;
so peaceful; yet so full; and wholly withdrawn from the inquisitive
eyes of the little town。 Ursula grew and developed; and became in time
the modest and religiously trained young woman whom Desire admired as
she left the church。 The cultivation of flowers in the garden; her
music; the pleasures of her godfather; and all the little cares she
was able to give him (for she had eased La Bougival's labors by doing
everything for him);these things filled the hours; the days; the
months of her calm life。 Nevertheless; for about a year the doctor had
felt uneasy about his Ursula; and watched her health with the utmost
care。 Sagacious and profoundly practical observer that he was; he
thought he perceived some commotion in her moral being。 He watched her
like a mother; but seeing no one about her who was worthy of inspiring
love; his uneasiness on the subject at length passed away。
At this conjuncture; one month before the day when this drama begins;
the doctor's intellectual life was invaded by one of those events
which plough to the very depths of a man's convictions and turn them
over。 But this event needs a succinct narrative of certain
circumstances in his medic