those extraordinary twins-第2章

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names　now；　but　it　was　too　much　trouble　to　remove　them　all　through；　so　I
left　them　christened　as　they　were　and　made　no　explanation。






CHAPTER　I

THE　TWINS　AS　THEY　REALLY　WERE

The　conglomerate　twins　were　brought　on　the　the　stage　in　Chapter　I　of　the
original　extravaganza。　　Aunt　Patsy　Cooper　has　received　their　letter
applying　for　board　and　lodging；　and　Rowena；　her　daughter；　insane　with
joy；　is　begging　for　a　hearing　of　it：

〃Well；　set　down　then；　and　be　quiet　a　minute　and　don't　fly　around　so；　it
fairly　makes　me　tired　to　see　you。　　It　starts　off　so：　'HONORED　MADAM'〃

〃I　like　that；　ma；　don't　you？　　It　shows　they're　high…bred。〃

〃Yes；　I　noticed　that　when　I　first　read　it。　　'My　brother　and　I　have　seen
your　advertisement；　by　chance；　in　a　copy　of　your　local　journal'

〃It's　so　beautiful　and　smooth；　ma…don't　you　think　so？〃

〃Yes；　seems　so　to　me'and　beg　leave　to　take　the　room　you　offer。　　We　are
twenty…four　years　of　age；　and　twins'〃

〃Twins　！　　How　sweet！　　I　do　hope　they　are　handsome；　and　I　just　know　they
are！　　Don't　you　hope　they　are；　ma？〃

〃Land；　I　ain't　particular。　　'We　are　Italians　by　birth'〃

〃It's　so　romantic！　　Just　think　there's　never　been　one　in　this　town；　and
everybody　will　want　to　see　them；　and　they're　all　ours！　　Think　of　that！〃

〃'but　have　lived　long　in　the　various　countries　of　Europe；　and　several
years　in　the　United　States。'〃

〃Oh；　just　think　what　wonders　they've　seen；　ma！　　Won't　it　be　good　to　hear
them　talk？〃

〃I　reckon　so；　yes；　I　reckon　so。　　'Our　names　are　Luigi　and　Angelo　Capello…
…'〃

〃Beautiful；　perfectly　beautiful！　　Not　like　Jones　and　Robinson　and　those
horrible　names。〃

〃'You　desire　but　one　guest；　but　dear　madam；　if　you　will　allow　us　to　pay
for　two　we　will　not　discommode　you。　　We　will　sleep　together　in　the　same
bed。　　We　have　always　been　used　to　this；　and　prefer　it。　　And　then　he　goes
on　to　say　they　will　be　down　Thursday。〃

〃And　this　is　TuesdayI　don't　know　how　I'm　ever　going　to　wait；　ma！　　The
time　does　drag　along　so；　and　I'm　so　dying　to　see　them！　　Which　of　them　do
you　reckon　is　the　tallest；　ma？〃

〃How　do　you　s'pose　I　can　tell；　child？　　Mostly　they　are　the　same
size…twins　are。〃

〃'Well　then；　which　do　you　reckon　is　the　best　looking？〃

〃Goodness　knowsI　don't。〃

〃I　think　Angelo　is；　it's　the　prettiest　name；　anyway。　　Don't　you　think
it's　a　sweet　name；　ma？〃

〃Yes；　it's　well　enough。　　I'd　like　both　of　them　better　if　I　knew　the　way
to　pronounce　themthe　Eyetalian　way；　I　mean。　　The　Missouri　way　and　the
Eyetalian　way　is　different；　I　judge。〃

〃Maybeyes。　　It's　Luigi　that　writes　the　letter。　　What　do　you　reckon　is
the　reason　Angelo　didn't　write　it？〃

〃Why；　how　can　I　tell？　　What's　the　difference　who　writes　it；　so　long　as
it's　done？〃

〃Oh；　I　hope　it　wasn't　because　he　is　sick！　　You　don't　think　he　is　sick；　do
you；　ma？〃

〃Sick　your　granny；　what's　to　make　him　sick？〃

〃Oh；　there's　never　any　telling。　　These　foreigners　with　that　kind　of　names
are　so　delicate；　and　of　course　that　kind　of　names　are　not　suited　to　our
climateyou　wouldn't　expect　it。〃


＇And　so…on　and　so…on；　no　end。　　The　time　drags　along；　Thursday　comes：　the
boat　arrives　in　a　pouring　storm　toward　midnight。＇


At　last　there　was　a　knock　at　the　door　and　the　anxious　family　jumped　to
open　it。　　Two　negro　men　entered；　each　carrying　a　trunk；　and　proceeded
upstairs　toward　the　guest…room。　　Then　followed　a　stupefying　apparition
a　double…headed　human　creature　with　four　arms；　one　body；　and　a　single
pair　of　legs！　　Itor　they；　as　you　pleasebowed　with　elaborate　foreign
formality；　but　the　Coopers　could　not　respond　immediately；　they　were
paralyzed。　　At　this　moment　there　came　from　the　rear　of　the　group　a
fervent　ejaculation〃My　lan'！〃followed　by　a　crash　of　crockery；　and　the
slave…wench　Nancy　stood　petrified　and　staring；　with　a　tray　of　wrecked
tea…things　at　her　feet。　　The　incident　broke　the　spell；　and　brought　the
family　to　consciousness。　　The　beautiful　heads　of　the　new…comer　bowed
again；　and　one　of　them　said　with　easy　grace　and　dignity：

〃I　crave　the　honor；　madam　and　miss；　to　introduce　to　you　my　brother；　Count
Luigi　Capello；〃　（the　other　head　bowed）　〃and　myselfCount　Angelo；　and　at
the　same　time　offer　sincere　apologies　for　the　lateness　of　our　coming；
which　was　unavoidable；〃　and　both　heads　bowed　again。

The　poor　old　lady　was　in　a　whirl　of　amazement　and　confusion；　but　she
managed　to　stammer　out：

〃I'm　sure　I'm　glad　to　make　your　acquaintance；　sirI　mean；　gentlemen。
As　for　the　delay；　it　is　nothing；　don't　mention　it。　　This　is　my　daughter
Rowena；　sirgentlemen。　　Please　step　into　the　parlor　and　sit　down　and
have　a　bite　and　sup；　you　are　dreadful　wet　and　must　be　uncomfortable
both　of　you；　I　mean。〃

But　to　the　old　lady's　relief　they　courteously　excused　themselves；　saying
it　would　be　wrong　to　keep　the　family　out　of　their　beds　longer；　then　each
head　bowed　in　turn　and　uttered　a　friendly　good　night；　and　the　singular
figure　moved　away　in　the　wake　of　Rowena's　small　brothers；　who　bore
candles；　and　disappeared　up　the　stairs。

The　widow　tottered　into　the　parlor　and　sank　into　a　chair　with　a　gasp；
and　Rowena　followed；　tongue…tied　and　dazed。　　The　two　sat　silent　in　the
throbbing　summer　heat　unconscious　of　the　million…voiced　music　of　the
mosquitoes；　unconscious　of　the　roaring　gale；　the　lashing　and　thrashing　of
the　rain　along　the　windows　and　the　roof；　the　white　glare　of　the
lightning；　the　tumultuous　booming　and　bellowing　of　the　thunder；　conscious
of　nothing　but　that　prodigy；　that　uncanny　apparition　that　had　come　and
gone　so　suddenlythat　weird　strange　thing　that　was　so　soft…spoken　and　so
gentle　of　manner　and　yet　had　shaken　them　up　like　an　earthquake　with　the
shock　of　its　gruesome　aspect。　　At　last　a　cold　little　shudder　quivered
along　down　the　widow's　meager　frame　and　she　said　in　a　weak　voice：

〃Ugh；　it　was　awful　just　the　mere　look　of　that　phillipene！〃

Rowena　did　not　answer。　　Her　faculties　were　still　caked；　she　had　not　yet
found　her　voice。　　Presently　the　widow　said；　a　little　resentfully：

〃Always　been　used　to　sleeping　togetherin…fact；　prefer　it。　　And　I　was
thinking　it　was　to　accommodate　me。　　I　thought　it　was　very　good　of　them；
whereas　a　person　situated　as　that　young　man　is〃

〃Ma；　you　oughtn't　to　begin　by　getting　up　a　prejudice　against　him。
I'm　sure　he　is　good…hearted　and　means　well。　　Both　of　his　faces　show　it。〃

〃I'm　not　so　certain　about　that。　　The　one　on　the　leftI　mean　the　one　on
it's　lefthasn't　near　as　good　a　face；　in　my　opinion；　as　its　brother。〃

〃That's　Luigi。〃

〃Yes；　Luigi；　anyway　it's　the　dark…skinned　one；　the　one　that　was　west　of
his　brother　when　they　stood　in　the　door。　　Up　to　all　kinds　of　mischief　and
disobedience　when　he　was　a　boy；　I'll　be　bound。　　I　lay　his　mother　had
trouble　to　lay　her　hand　on　him　when　she　wanted　him。　　But　the　one　on　the
right　is　as　good　as　gold；　I　can　see　that。〃

〃That's　Angelo。〃

〃Yes；　Angelo；　I　reckon；　though　I　can't　tell　t'other　from　which　by　their
names；　yet　awhile。　　But　it's　the　right…hand　onethe　blond　one。　　He　has
such　kind　blue　eyes；　and　curly　copper　hair　and　fresh　complexion〃

〃And　such　a　noble　face！oh；　it　is　a　noble　face；　ma；　just　royal；　you　may
say！　　And　beautiful　deary　me；　how　beautiful！　　But　both　are　that；　the　dark
one's　as　beautiful　asa　picture。　　There's　no　such　wonderful　faces　and
handsome　heads　in　this　town　none　that　even　begin。　　And　such　hands；
especially　Angelo'sso　shapely　and〃

〃Stuff；　how　could　you　tell　which　they　belonged　to？they　had　gloves　on。〃

〃Why；　didn't　I　see　them　take　off　their　hats？〃

〃That　don't　signify。　　They　might　have　taken　off　each　other's　hats。
Nobody　could　tell。　　There　was　just　a　wormy　squirming　of　arms　in　the　air
seemed　to　be　a　couple　of　dozen　of　them；　all　writhing　at　once；　and　it
just　made　me　dizzy　to　see　them　go。〃

〃Why；　ma；　I　hadn't　any　difficulty。　　There's　two　arms　on　each　shoulder〃

〃There；　now。　　One　arm　on　each　shoulder　belongs　to　each　of　the　creatures；
don't　it？　　For　a　person　to　have　two　arms　on　one　shoulder　wouldn't　do　him
any　good；　would　it？　　Of　course　not。　　Each　has　an　arm　on　each　shoulder。
Now　then；　you　tell　me　which　of　them　belongs　to　which；　if　you　can。　　They
don't　know；　themselvesthey　just　work　whichever　arm　comes　handy。　　Of
course　they　do；　especially　if　they　are　in　a　hurry　and　can't　stop　t