those extraordinary twins-第15章

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natural；　because　he　was　not　merely　representing　Whigism；　a　matter　of　no
consequence　to　him；　but　he　was　representing　something　immensely　finer　and
greaterto　wit；　Reform。　　In　him　was　centered　the　hopes　of　the　whole
reform　element　of　the　town；　he　was　the　chosen　and　admired　champion　of
every　clique　that　had　a　pet　reform　of　any　sort　or　kind　at　heart。　　He　was
president　of　the　great　Teetotalers'　Union；　its　chiefest　prophet　and
mouthpiece。

But　as　the　canvass　went　on；　troubles　began　to　spring　up　all　around
troubles　for　the　twins；　and　through　them　for　all　the　parties　and　segments
and　factions　of　parties。　　Whenever　Luigi　had　possession　of　the　legs；　he
carried　Angelo　to　balls；　rum　shops；　Sons　of　Liberty　parades；　horse…
races；　campaign　riots；　and　everywhere　else　that　could　damage　him　with　his
party　and　the　church；　and　when　it　was　Angelo's　week　he　carried　Luigi
diligently　to　all　manner　of　moral　and　religious　gatherings；　doing　his
best　to　regain　the　ground　he　had　lost　before。　　As　a　result　of　these
double　performances；　there　was　a　storm　blowing　all　the　time；　an　ever…
rising　storm；　tooa　storm　of　frantic　criticism　of　the　twins；　and　rage
over　their　extravagant；　incomprehensible　conduct。

Luigi　had　the　final　chance。　　The　legs　were　his　for　the　closing　week　of
the　canvass。　　He　led　his　brother　a　fearful　dance。

But　he　saved　his　best　card　for　the　very　eve　of　the　election。　　There　was
to　be　a　grand　turnout　of　the　Teetotalers'　Union　that　day；　and　Angelo　was
to　march　at　the　head　of　the　procession　and　deliver　a　great　oration
afterward。　　Luigi　drank　a　couple　of　glasses　of　whiskywhich　steadied　his
nerves　and　clarified　his　mind；　but　made　Angelo　drunk。　　Everybody　who　saw
the　march；　saw　that　the　Champion　of　the　Teetotalers　was　half　seas　over；
and　noted　also　that　his　brother；　who　made　no　hypocritical　pretensions　to
extra　temperance　virtues；　was　dignified　and　sober。　　This　eloquent　fact
could　not　be　unfruitful　at　the　end　of　a　hot　political　canvass。　　At　the
mass…meeting　Angelo　tried　to　make　his　great　temperance　oration；　but　was
so　discommodedby　hiccoughs　and　thickness　of　tongue　that　he　had　to　give
it　up；　then　drowsiness　overtook　him　and　his　head　drooped　against　Luigi's
and　he　went　to　sleep。　　Luigi　apologized　for　him；　and　was　going　on　to
improve　his　opportunity　with　an　appeal　for　a　moderation　of　what　he　called
〃the　prevailing　teetotal　madness；〃　but　persons　in　the　audience　began　to
howl　and　throw　things　at　him；　and　then　the　meeting　rose　in　wrath　and
chased　him　home。

This　episode　was　a　crusher　for　Angelo　in　another　way。　　It　destroyed　his
chances　with　Rowena。　　Those　chances　had　been　growing；　right　along；　for
two　months。　　Rowena　had　partly　confessed　that　she　loved　him；　but　wanted
time　to　consider。　　Now　the　tender　dream　was　ended；　and　she　told　him　so
the　moment　he　was　sober　enough　to　understand。　　She　said　she　would　never
marry　a　man　who　drank。

〃But　I　don't　drink；〃　he　pleaded。

〃That　is　nothing　to　the　point；〃　she　said；　coldly；　〃you　get　drunk；　and
that　is　worse。〃

＇There　was　a　long　and　sufficiently　idiotic　discussion　here；　which　ended
as　reported　in　a　previous　note。＇




CHAPTER　X

SO　THEY　HANGED　LUIGI

Dawson's　Landing　had　a　week　of　repose；　after　the　election；　and　it　needed
it；　for　the　frantic　and　variegated　nightmare　which　had　tormented　it　all
through　the　preceding　week　had　left　it　limp；　haggard；　and　exhausted　at
the　end。　　It　got　the　week　of　repose　because　Angelo　had　the　legs；　and　was
in　too　subdued　a　condition　to　want　to　go　out　and　mingle　with　an　irritated
community　that　had　come　to　disgust　and　detest　him　because　there　was　such
a　lack　of　harmony　between　his　morals；　which　were　confessedly　excellent；
and　his　methods　of　illustrating　them；　which　were　distinctly　damnable。
The　new　city　officers　were　sworn　in　on　the　following　Mondayat　least　all
but　Luigi。　　There　was　a　complication　in　his　case。　　His　election　was
conceded；　but　he　could　not　sit　in　the　board　of　aldermen　without　his
brother；　and　his　brother　could　not　sit　there　because　he　was　not　a　member。
There　seemed　to　be　no　way　out　of　the　difficulty　but　to　carry　the　matter
into　the　courts；　so　this　was　resolved　upon。

The　case　was　set　for　the　Monday　fortnight。　　In　due　course　the　time
arrived。　　In　the　mean　time　the　city　government　had　been　at　a　standstill；
because　with　out　Luigi　there　was　a　tie　in　the　board　of　aldermen；　whereas
with　him　the　liquor　interestthe　richest　in　the　political　fieldwould
have　one　majority。　　But　the　court　decided　that　Angelo　could　not　sit　in
the　board　with　him；　either　in　public　or　executive　sessions；　and　at　the
same　time　forbade　the　board　to　deny　admission　to　Luigi；　a　fairly　and
legally　chosen　alderman。　　The　case　was　carried　up　and　up　from　court　to
court；　yet　still　the　same　old　original　decision　was　confirmed　every　time。
As　a　result；　the　city　government　not　only　stood　still；　with　its　hands
tied；　but　everything　it　was　created　to　protect　and　care　for　went　a　steady
gait　toward　rack　and　ruin。　　There　was　no　way　to　levy　a　tax；　so　the　minor
officials　had　to　resign　or　starve；　therefore　they　resigned。　　There　being
no　city　money；　the　enormous　legal　expenses　on　both　sides　had　to　be
defrayed　by　private　subscription。　　But　at　last　the　people　came　to　their
senses；　and　said：

〃Pudd'nhead　was　right　at　the　startwe　ought　to　have　hired　the　official
half　of　that　human　phillipene　to　resign；　but　it's　too　late　now；　some　of
us　haven't　got　anything　left　to　hire　him　with。〃

〃Yes；　we　have；〃　said　another　citizen；　〃we've　got　this〃and　he　produced　a
halter。

Many　shouted：　〃That's　the　ticket。〃　　But　others　said：　〃NoCount　Angelo　is
innocent；　we　mustn't　hang　him。〃

〃Who　said　anything　about　hanging　him？　　We　are　only　going　to　hang　the
other　one。〃

〃Then　that　is　all　rightthere　is　no　objection　to　that。〃

So　they　hanged　Luigi。　　And　so　ends　the　history　of　〃Those　Extraordinary
Twins。〃




FINAL　REMARKS

As　you　see；　it　was　an　extravagant　sort　of　a　tale；　and　had　no　purpose　but
to　exhibit　that　monstrous　〃freak〃　in　all　sorts　of　grotesque　lights。　　But
when　Roxy　wandered　into　the　tale　she　had　to　be　furnished　with　something
to　do；　so　she　changed　the　children　in　the　cradle；　this　necessitated　the
invention　of　a　reason　for　it；　this；　in　turn；　resulted　in　making　the
children　prominent　personagesnothing　could　prevent　it　of　course。　　Their
career　began　to　take　a　tragic　aspect；　and　some　one　had　to　be　brought　in
to　help　work　the　machinery；　so　Pudd'nhead　Wilson　was　introduced　and　taken
on　trial。　　By　this　time　the　whole　show　was　being　run　by　the　new　people
and　in　their　interest；　and　the　original　show　was　become　side…tracked　and
forgotten；　the　twin…monster；　and　the　heroine；　and　the　lads；　and　the　old
ladies　had　dwindled　to　inconsequentialities　and　were　merely　in　the　way。
Their　story　was　one　story；　the　new　people's　story　was　another　story；　and
there　was　no　connection　between　them；　no　interdependence；　no　kinship。
It　is　not　practicable　or　rational　to　try　to　tell　two　stories　at　the　same
time；　so　I　dug　out　the　farce　and　left　the　tragedy。

The　reader　already　knew　how　the　expert　works；　he　knows　now　how　the　other
kind　do　it。

MARK　TWAIN。







End