crime and punishment(罪与罚)-第24章
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sewed； but he did it successfully so that nothing showed outside
when he put the coat on again。 The needle and thread he had got
ready long before and they lay on his table in a piece of paper。 As
for the noose； it was a very ingenious device of his own； the noose
was intended for the axe。 It was impossible for him to carry the axe
through the street in his hands。 And if hidden under his coat he would
still have had to support it with his hand； which would have been
noticeable。 Now he had only to put the head of the axe in the noose；
and it would hang quietly under his arm on the inside。 Putting his
hand in his coat pocket； he could hold the end of the handle all the
way； so that it did not swing； and as the coat was very full； a
regular sack in fact； it could not be seen from outside that he was
holding something with the hand that was in the pocket。 This noose；
too； he had designed a fortnight before。
When he had finished with this； he thrust his hand into a little
opening between his sofa and the floor； fumbled in the left corner and
drew out the pledge； which he had got ready long before and hidden
there。 This pledge was； however； only a smoothly planed piece of
wood the size and thickness of a silver cigarette case。 He picked up
this piece of wood in one of his wanderings in a courtyard where there
was some sort of a workshop。 Afterwards he had added to the wood a
thin smooth piece of iron； which he had also picked up at the same
time in the street。 Putting the iron which was a little the smaller on
the piece of wood； he fastened them very firmly； crossing and
re…crossing the thread round them； then wrapped them carefully and
daintily in clean white paper and tied up the parcel so that it
would be very difficult to untie it。 This was in order to divert the
attention of the old woman for a time； while she was trying to undo
the knot； and so to gain a moment。 The iron strip was added to give
weight； so that the woman might not guess the first minute that the
〃thing〃 was made of wood。 All this had been stored by him beforehand
under the sofa。 He had only just got the pledge out when he heard some
one suddenly about in the yard。
〃It struck six long ago。〃
〃Long ago！ My God！〃
He rushed to the door； listened； caught up his hat and began to
descend his thirteen steps cautiously； noiselessly； like a cat。 He had
still the most important thing to do… to steal the axe from the
kitchen。 That the deed must be done with an axe he had decided long
ago。 He had also a pocket pruning…knife； but he could not rely on
the knife and still less on his own strength； and so resolved
finally on the axe。 We may note in passing； one peculiarity in
regard to all the final resolutions taken by him in the matter； they
had one strange characteristic： the more final they were； the more
hideous and the more absurd they at once became in his eyes。 In
spite of all his agonising inward struggle； he never for a single
instant all that time could believe in the carrying out of his plans。
And； indeed； if it had ever happened that everything to the least
point could have been considered and finally settled； and no
uncertainty of any kind had remained； he would； it seems； have
renounced it all as something absurd； monstrous and impossible。 But
a whole mass of unsettled points and uncertainties remained。 As for
getting the axe； that trifling business cost him no anxiety； for
nothing could be easier。 Nastasya was continually out of the house；
especially in the evenings； she would run in to the neighbours or to a
shop； and always left the door ajar。 It was the one thing the landlady
was always scolding her about。 And so when the time came； he would
only have to go quietly into the kitchen and to take the axe； and an
hour later （when everything was over） go in and put it back again。 But
these were doubtful points。 Supposing he returned an hour later to put
it back； and Nastasya had come back and was on the spot。 He would of
course have to go by and wait till she went out again。 But supposing
she were in the meantime to miss the axe； look for it； make an outcry…
that would mean suspicion or at least grounds for suspicion。
But those were all trifles which he had not even begun to
consider； and indeed he had no time。 He was thinking of the chief
point； and put off trifling details； until he could believe in it all。
But that seemed utterly unattainable。 So it seemed to himself at
least。 He could not imagine； for instance； that he would sometime
leave off thinking； get up and simply go there。。。。 Even his late
experiment （i。e。 his visit with the object of a final survey of the
place） was simply an attempt at an experiment； far from being the real
thing； as though one should say 〃come； let us go and try it… why dream
about it！〃… and at once he had broken down and had run away cursing；
in a frenzy with himself。 Meanwhile it would seem； as regards the
moral question； that his analysis was complete； his casuistry had
become keen as a razor； and he could not find rational objections in
himself。 But in the last resort he simply ceased to believe in
himself； and doggedly； slavishly sought arguments in all directions；
fumbling for them； as though some one were forcing and drawing him
to it。
At first… long before indeed… he had been much occupied with one
question； why almost all crimes are so badly concealed and so easily
detected； and why almost all criminals leave such obvious traces？ He
had come gradually to many different and curious conclusions； and in
his opinion the chief reason lay not so much in the material
impossibility of concealing the crime； as in the criminal himself。
Almost every criminal is subject to a failure of will and reasoning
power by a childish and phenomenal heedlessness； at the very instant
when prudence and caution are most essential。 It was his conviction
that this eclipse of reason and failure of will power attacked a man
like a disease； developed gradually and reached its highest point just
before the perpetration of the crime； continued with equal violence at
the moment of the crime and for longer or shorter time after；
according to the individual case； and then passed off like any other
disease。 The question whether the disease gives rise to the crime；
or whether the crime from its own peculiar nature is always
accompanied by something of the nature of disease； he did not yet feel
able to decide。
When he reached these conclusions； he decided that in his own case
there could not be such a morbid reaction； that his reason and will
would remain unimpaired at the time of carrying out his design； for
the simple reason that his design was 〃not a crime。。。。〃 We will omit
all the process by means of which he arrived at this last
conclusion； we have run too far ahead already。。。。 We may add only that
the practical； purely material difficulties of the affair occupied a
secondary position in hi
