crime and punishment(罪与罚)-第104章
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the door； a chair。 A plain； deal table covered by a blue cloth stood
against the same wall； close to the door into the other flat。 Two
rush…bottom chairs stood by the table。 On the opposite wall near the
acute angle stood a small plain wooden chest of drawers looking； as it
were； lost in a desert。 That was all there was in the room。 The
yellow； scratched and shabby wall…paper was black in the corners。 It
must have been damp and full of fumes in the winter。 There was every
sign of poverty； even the bedstead had no curtain。
Sonia looked in silence at her visitor； who was so attentively and
unceremoniously scrutinising her room； and even began at last to
tremble with terror； as though she was standing before her judge and
the arbiter of her destinies。
〃I am late。。。。 eleven； isn't it？〃 he asked； still not lifting his
eyes。
〃Yes；〃 muttered Sonia； 〃oh； yes； it is；〃 she added； hastily； as
though in that lay her means of escape。 〃My landlady's clock has
just struck。。。 I heard it myself。。。。〃
〃I've come to you for the last time；〃 Raskolnikov went on
gloomily； although this was the first time。 〃I may perhaps not see you
again。。。〃
〃Are you。。。 going away？〃
〃I don't know。。。 to…morrow。。。。〃
〃Then you are not coming to Katerina Ivanovna to…morrow？〃 Sonia's
voice shook。
〃I don't know。 I shall know to…morrow morning。。。。 Never mind that：
I've come to say one word。。。。〃
He raised his brooding eyes to her and suddenly noticed that he
was sitting down while she was all the while standing before him。
〃Why are you standing？ Sit down；〃 he said in a changed voice； gentle
and friendly。
She sat down。 He looked kindly and almost compassionately at her。
〃How thin you are！ What a hand！ Quite transparent； like a dead
hand。〃
He took her hand。 Sonia smiled faintly。
〃I have always been like that；〃 she said。
〃Even when you lived at home？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃Of course； you were；〃 he added abruptly and the expression of his
face and the sound of his voice changed again suddenly。
He looked round him once more。
〃You rent this room from the Kapernaumovs？〃
〃Yes。。。。〃
〃They live there； through that door？〃
〃Yes。。。。 They have another room like this。〃
〃All in one room？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃I should be afraid in your room at night；〃 he observed gloomily。
〃They are very good people； very kind；〃 answered Sonia； who still
seemed bewildered； 〃and all the furniture； everything。。。 everything is
theirs。 And they are very kind and the children； too； often come to
see me。〃
〃They all stammer； don't they？〃
〃Yes。。。。 He stammers and he's lame。 And his wife； too。。。。 It's not
exactly that she stammers； but she can't speak plainly。 She is a
very kind woman。 And he used to be a house serf。 And there are seven
children。。。 and it's only the eldest one that stammers and the
others are simply ill。。。 but they don't stammer。。。。 But where did
you hear about them？〃 she added with some surprise。
〃Your father told me； then。 He told me all about you。。。。 And how you
went out at six o'clock and came back at nine and how Katerina
Ivanovna knelt down by your bed。〃
Sonia was confused。
〃I fancied I saw him to…day；〃 she whispered hesitatingly。
〃Whom？〃
〃Father。 I was walking in the street； out there at the corner； about
ten o'clock and he seemed to be walking in front。 It looked just
like him。 I wanted to go to Katerina Ivanovna。。。。〃
〃You were walking in the streets？〃
〃Yes；〃 Sonia whispered abruptly； again overcome with confusion and
looking down。
〃Katerina Ivanovna used to beat you； I daresay？〃
〃Oh no； what are you saying？ No！〃 Sonia looked at him almost with
dismay。
〃You love her； then？〃
〃Love her？ Of course！〃 said Sonia with plaintive emphasis； and she
clasped her hands in distress。 〃Ah； you don't。。。。 If you only knew！
You see； she is quite like a child。。。。 Her mind is quite unhinged； you
see。。。 from sorrow。 And how clever she used to be。。。 how generous。。。
how kind！ Ah； you don't understand； you don't understand！〃
Sonia said this as though in despair； wringing her hands in
excitement and distress。 Her pale cheeks flushed； there was a look
of anguish in her eyes。 It was clear that she was stirred to the
very depths； that she was longing to speak； to champion； to express
something。 A sort of insatiable compassion； if one may so express
it； was reflected in every feature of her face。
〃Beat me！ how can you？ Good heavens； beat me！ And if she did beat
me； what then？ What of it？ You know nothing； nothing about it。。。。
She is so unhappy。。。 ah； how unhappy！ And ill。。。。 She is seeking
righteousness； she is pure。 She has such faith that there must be
righteousness everywhere and she expects it。。。。 And if you were to
torture her； she wouldn't do wrong。 She doesn't see that it's
impossible for people to be righteous and she is angry at it。 Like a
child； like a child。 She is good！〃
〃And what will happen to you？〃
Sonia looked at him inquiringly。
〃They are left on your hands； you see。 They were all on your hands
before； though。。。。 And your father came to you to beg for drink。 Well；
how will it be now？〃
〃I don't know；〃 Sonia articulated mournfully。
〃Will they stay there？〃
〃I don't know。。。。 They are in debt for the lodging； but the
landlady； I hear； said to…day that she wanted to get rid of them；
and Katerina Ivanovna says that she won't stay another minute。〃
〃How is it she is so bold？ She relies upon you？〃
〃Oh； no； don't talk like that。。。。 We are one； we live like one。〃
Sonia was agitated again and even angry； as though a canary or some
other little bird were t
