tea-table talk-第10章

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〃Do　you　remember　meeting　that　Russian　man　George　brought　down　here　about　three　months　ago？〃　asked　the　Woman　of　the　World；　turning　to　the　Minor　Poet。　　〃I　forget　his　name。　　As　a　matter　of　fact；　I　never　knew　it。　　It　was　quite　unpronounceable　and；　except　that　it　ended；　of　course；　with　a　double　f；　equally　impossible　to　spell。　　I　told　him　frankly　at　the　beginning　I　should　call　him　by　his　Christian　name；　which　fortunately　was　Nicholas。　　He　was　very　nice　about　it。〃

〃I　remember　him　distinctly；〃　said　the　Minor　Poet。　　〃A　charming　man。〃

〃He　was　equally　charmed　with　you；〃　replied　the　Woman　of　the　World。

〃I　can　credit　it　easily；〃　murmured　the　Minor　Poet。　　〃One　of　the　most　intelligent　men　I　ever　met。〃

〃You　talked　together　for　two　hours　in　a　corner；〃　said　the　Woman　of　the　World。　　〃I　asked　him　when　you　had　gone　what　he　thought　of　you。　'Ah！　what　a　talker！'　he　exclaimed；　making　a　gesture　of　admiration　with　his　hands。　　'I　thought　maybe　you　would　notice　it；'　I　answered　him。　　'Tell　me；　what　did　he　talk　about？'　　I　was　curious　to　know；　you　had　been　so　absorbed　in　yourselves　and　so　oblivious　to　the　rest　of　us。　　'Upon　my　word；'　he　replied；　'I　really　cannot　tell　you。　　Do　you　know；　I　am　afraid；　now　I　come　to　think　of　it；　that　I　must　have　monopolised　the　conversation。'　　I　was　glad　to　be　able　to　ease　his　mind　on　that　point。　　'I　really　don't　think　you　did；'　I　assured　him。　I　should　have　felt　equally　confident　had　I　not　been　present。〃

〃You　were　quite　correct；〃　returned　the　Minor　Poet。　　〃I　have　a　distinct　recollection　of　having　made　one　or　two　observations　myself。　Indeed；　if　I　may　say　so；　I　talked　rather　well。〃

〃You　may　also　recollect；〃　continued　the　Woman　of　the　World；　〃that　the　next　time　we　met　I　asked　you　what　he　had　said；　and　that　your　mind　was　equally　a　blank　on　the　subject。　　You　admitted　you　had　found　him　interesting。　　I　was　puzzled　at　the　time；　but　now　I　begin　to　understand。　　Both　of　you；　no　doubt；　found　the　conversation　so　brilliant；　each　of　you　felt　it　must　have　been　your　own。〃

〃A　good　book；〃　I　added〃a　good　talk　is　like　a　good　dinner：　　one　assimilates　it。　　The　best　dinner　is　the　dinner　you　do　not　know　you　have　eaten。〃

〃A　thing　will　often　suggest　interesting　thought；〃　observed　the　Old　Maid；　〃without　being　interesting。　　Often　I　find　the　tears　coming　into　my　eyes　as　I　witness　some　stupid　melodramasomething　said；　something　hinted　at；　will　stir　a　memory；　start　a　train　of　thought。〃

〃I　once；〃　I　said；　〃sat　next　to　a　country…man　in　the　pit　of　a　music…　hall　some　years　ago。　　He　enjoyed　himself　thoroughly　up　to　half…past　ten。　　Songs　about　mothers…in…law；　drunken　wives；　and　wooden　legs　he　roared　at　heartily。　　At　ten…thirty　entered　a　well…known　artiste　who　was　then　giving　a　series　of　what　he　called　'Condensed　Tragedies　in　Verse。'　　At　the　first　two　my　country　friend　chuckled　hugely。　　The　third　ran：　　'Little　boy；　pair　of　skates：　　broken　ice；　heaven's　gates。'　　My　friend　turned　white；　rose　hurriedly；　and　pushed　his　way　impatiently　out　of　the　house。　　I　left　myself　some　ten　minutes　later；　and　by　chance　ran　against　him　again　in　the　bar　of　the　'Criterion；'　where　he　was　drinking　whisky　rather　copiously。　　'I　couldn't　stand　that　fool；'　he　explained　to　me　in　a　husky　voice。　　'Truth　is；　my　youngest　kid　got　drowned　last　winter　skating。　　Don't　see　any　sense　making　fun　of　real　trouble。'〃

〃I　can　cap　your　story　with　another；〃　said　the　Philosopher。　　〃Jim　sent　me　a　couple　of　seats　for　one　of　his　first　nights　a　month　or　two　ago。　　They　did　not　reach　me　till　four　o'clock　in　the　afternoon。　　I　went　down　to　the　club　to　see　if　I　could　pick　up　anybody。　　The　only　man　there　I　knew　at　all　was　a　rather　quiet　young　fellow；　a　new　member。　　He　had　just　taken　Bates's　chambers　in　Staple　Innyou　have　met　him；　I　think。　　He　didn't　know　many　people　then　and　was　grateful　for　my　invitation。　　The　play　was　one　of　those　Palais　Royal　farces　it　cannot　matter　which；　they　are　all　exactly　alike。　　The　fun　consists　of　somebody's　trying　to　sin　without　being　found　out。　　It　always　goes　well。　　The　British　public　invariably　welcomes　the　theme；　provided　it　be　dealt　with　in　a　merry　fashion。　　It　is　only　the　serious　discussion　of　evil　that　shocks　us。　　There　was　the　usual　banging　of　doors　and　the　usual　screaming。　　Everybody　was　laughing　around　us。　　My　young　friend　sat　with　rather　a　curious　fixed　smile　upon　his　face。　　'Fairly　well　constructed；'　I　said　to　him；　as　the　second　curtain　fell　amid　yells　of　delight。　　'Yes；'　he　answered；　'I　suppose　it's　very　funny。'　　I　looked　at　him；　he　was　little　more　than　a　boy。　　'You　are　rather　young；'　I　said；　'to　be　a　moralist。'　　He　gave　a　short　laugh。　　'Oh！　I　shall　grow　out　of　it　in　time；'　he　said。　　He　told　me　his　story　later；　when　I　came　to　know　him　better。　　He　had　played　the　farce　himself　over　in　Melbournehe　was　an　Australian。　Only　the　third　act　had　ended　differently。　　His　girl　wife；　of　whom　he　was　passionately　fond；　had　taken　it　quite　seriously　and　had　committed　suicide。　　A　foolish　thing　to　do。〃

〃Man　is　a　beast！〃　said　the　Girton　Girl；　who　was　prone　to　strong　expression。

〃I　thought　so　myself　when　I　was　younger；〃　said　the　Woman　of　the　World。

〃And　don't　you　now；　when　you　hear　a　thing　like　that？〃　suggested　the　Girton　Girl。

〃Certainly；　my　dear；〃　replied　the　Woman　of　the　World；　〃there　is　a　deal　of　the　animal　in　man；　butwell；　I　was　myself　expressing　that　same　particular　view　of　him；　the　brute；　to　a　very　old　lady　with　whom　I　was　spending　a　winter　in　Brussels；　many　years　ago　now；　when　I　was　quite　a　girl。　　She　had　been　a　friend　of　my　father's；　and　was　one　of　the　sweetest　and　kindestI　was　almost　going　to　say　the　most　perfect　woman　I　have　ever　met；　though　as　a　celebrated　beauty；　stories；　dating　from　the　early　Victorian　era；　were　told　about　her。　　But　myself　I　never　believed　them。　　Her　calm；　gentle；　passionless　face；　crowned　with　its　soft；　silver　hairI　remember　my　first　sight　of　the　Matterhorn　on　a　summer's　evening；　somehow　it　at　once　reminded　me　of　her。〃

〃My　dear；〃　laughed　the　Old　Maid；　〃your　anecdotal　method　is　becoming　as　jerky　as　a　cinematograph。〃

〃I　have　noticed　it　myself；〃　replied　the　Woman　of　the　World；　〃I　try　to　get　in　too　much。〃

〃The　art　of　the　raconteur；〃　observed　the　Philosopher；　〃consists　in　avoiding　the　unessential。　　I　have　a　friend　who　never　yet　to　my　knowledge　reached　the　end　of　a　story。　　It　is　intensely　unimportant　whether　the　name　of　the　man　who　said　the　thing　or　did　the　deed　be　Brown　or　Jones　or　Robinson。　　But　she　will　worry　herself　into　a　fever　trying　to　recollect。　　'Dear；　dear　me！'　she　will　leave　off　to　exclaim；　'I　know　his　name　so　well。　　How　stupid　of　me！'　　She　will　tell　you　why　she　ought　to　recollect　his　name；　how　she　always　has　recollected　his　name　till　this　precise　moment。　　She　will　appeal　to　half　the　people　in　the　room　to　help　her。　　It　is　hopeless　to　try　and　induce　her　to　proceed；　the　idea　has　taken　possession　of　her　mind。　After　a　world　of　unnecessary　trouble　she　recollects　that　it　was　Tomkins；　and　is　delighted；　only　to　be　plunged　again　into　despair　on　discovery　that　she　has　forgotten　his　address。　　This　makes　her　so　ashamed　of　herself　she　declines　to　continue；　and　full　of　self…　reproach　she　retires　to　her　own　room。　　Later　she　re…enters；　beaming；　with　the　street　and　number　pat。　　But　by　that　time　she　has　forgotten　the　anecdote。〃

〃Well；　tell　us　about　your　old　lady；　and　what　it　was　you　said　to　her；〃　spoke　impatiently　the　Girton　Girl；　who　is　always　eager　when　the　subject　under　discussion　happens　to　be　the　imbecility　or　criminal　tendency　of　the　opposite　sex。

〃I　was　at　the　age；〃　continued　the　Woman　of　the　World；　〃when　a　young　girl　tiring　of　fairy　stories　puts　down　the　book　and　looks　round　her　at　the　world；　and　naturally　feels　indignant　at　what　she　notices。　　I　was　very　severe　upon　both　the　shortcomings　and　the　overgoings　of　manour　natural　enemy。　　My　old　friend　used　to　laugh；　and　that　made　me　think　her　callous　and　foolish。　　One　day　our　bonnelike　all　servants；　a　lover　of　gossipcame　to　us　delighted　with　a　story　which　proved　to　me　how　just　had　been　my　estimate　of　the　male　animal。　　The　grocer　at　the　corner　of　our　rue；　married　only　four　years　to　a　charming　and　devoted　little　wife；　had　run　away　and　left　her。

〃'He　never　gave　her　even　a　hint；　the　pretty　angel！'　so　Jeanne　informed　us。　　'Had　had　his　box　containing　his　clothes　and　everything　he　wanted　re