stories of a western town-第4章

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contraction　of　the　eyebrows　as　if　Thekla　were　trying　to　think　of　something　that　eluded　her。　　She　placed　the　coffee　on　the　tray　beside　the　other　breakfast。　　For　a　while　the　room　was　very　still。　Lieders　could　not　see　the　look　of　resolve　that　finally　smoothed　the　perplexed　lines　out　of　his　wife's　kind；　simple　old　face。　She　rose。　　〃Kurt；〃　she　said；　〃I　don't　guess　you　remember　this　is　our　wedding…day；　it　was　this　day；　eighteen　year　we　was　married。〃　〃So！〃　said　Lieders；　〃well；　I　was　a　bad　bargain　to　you；　Thekla；　after　you　nursed　your　father　that　was　a　cripple　for　twenty　years；　I　thought　it　would　be　easy　with　me；　but　I　was　a　bad　bargain。〃　〃The　Lord　knows　best　about　that；〃　said　Thekla；　simply；　〃be　it　how　it　be；　you　are　the　only　man　I　ever　had　or　will　have；　and　I　don't　like　you　starve　yourself。　　Papa；　say　you　don't　kill　yourself；　to…day；　and　dat　you　will　eat　your　breakfast！〃　〃Yes；〃　Lieders　repeated　in　German；　〃a　bad　bargain　for　thee；　that　is　sure。　But　thou　hast　been　a　good　bargain　for　me。　　Here！　　I　promise。　Not　this　day。　　Give　me　the　coffee。〃　He　had　seasons；　all　the　morning；　of　wondering　over　his　meekness；　and　his　agreement　to　be　tied　up　again；　at　night。　　But　still；　what　did　a　day　matter？　a　man　humors　women's　notions；　and　starving　was　so　tedious。　　Between　whiles　he　elaborated　a　scheme　to　attain　his　end。　　How　easy　to　outwit　the　silly　Thekla！　　His　eyes　shone；　as　he　hid　the　little；　sharp　knife　up　his　cuff。　　〃Let　her　tie　me！〃　says　Lieders；　〃I　keep　my　word。　　To…morrow　I　be　out　of　this。　He　won't　git　a　man　like　me；　pretty　soon！〃　Thekla　went　about　her　daily　tasks；　with　her　every…day　air；　but；　now　and　again；　that　same　pucker　of　thought　returned　to　her　forehead；　and；　more　than　once；　Lieders　saw　her　stand　over　some　dish；　poising　her　spoon　in　air；　too　abstracted　to　notice　his　cynical　observation。　The　dinner　was　more　elaborate　than　common；　and　Thekla　had　broached　a　bottle　of　her　currant　wine。　　She　gravely　drank　Lieders's　health。　〃And　many　good　days；　papa；〃　she　said。　Lieders　felt　a　queer　movement　of　pity。　　After　the　table　was　cleared；　he　helped　his　wife　to　wash　and　wipe　the　dishes　as　his　custom　was　of　a　Sunday　or　holiday。　　He　wiped　dishes　as　he　did　everything；　neatly；　slowly；　with　a　careful　deliberation。　Not　until　the　dishes　were　put　away　and　the　couple　were　seated；　did　Thekla　speak。　〃Kurt；〃　she　said；　〃I　got　to　talk　to　you。〃　An　inarticulate　groan　and　a　glance　at　the　door　from　Lieders。　〃I　just　got　to；　papa。　　It　aint　righd　for　you　to　do　the　way　you　been　doing　for　so　long　time；　efery　little　whiles　you　try　to　kill　yourself；　no；　papa；　that　aint　righd！〃　Kurt；　who　had　gotten　out　his　pencils　and　compasses　and　other　drawing　tools；　grunted：　　〃I　got　to　look　at　my　work；　Thekla；　now；　I　am　too　busy　to　talk。〃　〃No；　Kurt；　no；　papa〃the　hands　holding　the　blue　apron　that　she　was　embroidering　with　white　linen　began　to　tremble；　Lieders　had　not　the　least　idea　what　a　strain　it　was　on　this　reticent；　slow　of　speech　woman　who　had　stood　in　awe　of　him　for　eighteen　years；　to　discuss　the　horror　of　her　life；　but　he　could　not　help　marking　her　agitation。　She　went　on；　desperately：　　〃Yes；　papa；　I　got　to　talk　it　oud　with　you。　You　had　ought　to　listen；　'cause　I　always　been　a　good　wife　to　you　and　nefer　refused　you　notings。　　No。〃　〃Well；　I　aint　saying　I　done　it　'cause　you　been　bad　to　me；　everybody　knows　we　aint　had　no　trouble。〃　〃But　everybody　what　don't　know　us；　when　they　read　how　you　tried　to　kill　yourself　in　the　papers；　they　think　it　was　me。　That　always　is　so。　　And　now　I　never　can　any　more　sleep　nights；　for　you　is　always　maybe　git　up　and　do　something　to　yourself。　So　now；　I　got　to　talk　to　you；　papa。　　Papa；　how　could　you　done　so？〃　Lieders　twisted　his　feet　under　the　rungs　of　his　chair；　he　opened　his　mouth；　but　only　to　shut　it　again　with　a　click　of　his　teeth。　〃I　got　my　mind　made　up；　papa。　　I　tought　and　I　tought。　　I　know　WHY　you　done　it；　you　done　it　'cause　you　and　the　boss　was　mad　at　each　other。　The　boss　hadn't　no　righd　to　let　you　go　〃　〃Yes；　he　had；　I　madded　him　first；　I　was　a　fool。　　Of　course　I　knowed　more　than　him　'bout　the　work；　but　I　hadn't　no　right　to　go　against　him。　The　boss　is　all　right。〃　〃Yes；　papa；　I　got　my　mind　made　up〃like　most　sluggish　spirits　there　was　an　immense　momentum　about　Thekla's　mind；　once　get　it　fairly　started　it　was　not　to　be　diverted〃you　never　killed　yourself　before　you　used　to　git　mad　at　the　boss。　You　was　afraid　he　would　send　you　away；　and　now　you　have　sent　yourself　away　you　don't　want　to　live；　'cause　you　do　not　know　how　you　can　git　along　without　the　shop。　But　you　want　to　get　back；　you　want　to　get　back　more　as　you　want　to　kill　yourself。　　Yes；　papa；　I　know；　I　know　where　you　did　used　to　go；　nights。　　Now〃she　changed　her　speech　unconsciously　to　the　tongue　of　her　youth〃it　is　not　fair；　it　is　not　fair　to　me　that　thou　shouldst　treat　me　like　that；　thou　dost　belong　to　me；　also；　so　I　say；　my　Kurt；　wilt　thou　make　a　bargain　with　me？　If　I　shall　get　thee　back　thy　place　wilt　thou　promise　me　never　to　kill　thyself　any　more？〃　Lieders　had　not　once　looked　up　at　her　during　the　slow；　difficult　sentences　with　their　half　choked　articulation；　but　he　was　experiencing　some　strange　emotions；　and　one　of　them　was　a　novel　respect　for　his　wife。　　All　he　said　was：　〃'Taint　no　use　talking。　　I　won't　never　ask　him　to　take　me　back；　once。〃　〃Well；　you　aint　asking　of　him。　　_I_　ask　him。　　I　try　to　git　you　back；　once！〃　〃I　tell　you；　it　aint　no　use；　I　know　the　boss；　he　aint　going　to　be　letting　womans　talk　him　over；　no；　he's　a　good　man；　he　knows　how　to　work　his　business　himself！〃　〃But　would　you　promise　me；　Kurt？〃　Lieders's　eyes　blurred　with　a　mild　and　dreamy　mist；　he　sighed　softly。　　〃Thekla；　you　can't　see　how　it　is。　It　is　like　you　are　tied　up；　if　I　don't　can　do　that；　if　I　can　then　it　is　always　that　I　am　free；　free　to　go；　free　to　stay。　And　for　you；　Thekla；　it　is　the　same。〃　Thekla's　mild　eyes　flashed。　　〃I　don't　believe　you　would　like　it　so　you　wake　up　in　the　morning　and　find　ME　hanging　up　in　the　kitchen　by　the　clothes…line！〃　Lieders　had　the　air　of　one　considering　deeply。　Then　he　gave　Thekla　one　of　the　surprises　of　her　life；　he　rose　from　his　chair；　he　walked　in　his　shuffling；　unheeled　slippers　across　the　room　to　where　the　old　woman　sat；　he　put　one　arm　on　the　back　of　the　chair　and　stiffly　bent　over　her　and　kissed　her。　〃Lieber　Herr　Je！〃　gasped　Thekla。　〃Then　I　shall　go；　too；　pretty　quick；　that　is　all；　mamma；〃　said　he。　Thekla　wiped　her　eyes。　　A　little　pause　fell　between　them；　and　in　it　they　may　have　both　remembered　vanished；　half…forgotten　days　when　life　had　looked　differently　to　them；　when　they　had　never　thought　to　sit　by　their　own　fireside　and　discuss　suicide。　　The　husband　spoke　first；　with　a　reluctant；　half…shamed　smile；　〃Thekla；　I　tell　you　what；　I　make　the　bargain　with　you；　you　git　me　back　that　place；　I　don't　do　it　again；　'less　you　let　me；　you　don't　git　me　back　that　place；　you　don't　say　notings　to　me。〃　The　apron　dropped　from　the　withered；　brown　hands　to　the　floor。　Again　there　was　silence；　but　not　for　long；　ghastly　as　was　the　alternative；　the　proposal　offered　a　chance　to　escape　from　the　terror　that　was　sapping　her　heart。　〃How　long　will　you　give　me；　papa？〃　said　she。　〃I　give　you　a　week；〃　said　he。　Thekla　rose　and　went　to　the　door；　as　she　opened　it　a　fierce　gust　of　wind　slashed　her　like　a　knife；　and　Lieders　exclaimed；　fretfully；　〃what　you　opening　that　door　for；　Thekla；　letting　in　the　wind？　I'm　so　cold；　now；　right　by　the　fire；　I　most　can't　draw。　We　got　to　keep　a　fire　in　the　base…burner　good；　all　night；　or　the　plants　will　freeze。〃　Thekla　said　confusedly　that　something　sounded　like　a　cat　crying。　〃And　you　talking　like　that　it　frightened　me；　maybe　I　was　wrong　to　make　such　bargains　〃　〃Then　don't　make　it；〃　said　Lieders；　curtly；　〃I　aint　asking　you。〃　But　Thekla　drew　a　long　breath　and　straightened　herself；　saying；　〃Yes；　I　make　it；　papa；　I　make　it。〃　〃Well；　put　another　stick　of　wood　in　the　stove；　will　you；　now　you　are　up？〃　said　Lieders；　shrugging　his　shoulders；　〃or　I'll　freeze　in　spite　of　you！　It　seems　to　me　it　grows　colder　every　minute。〃　But　all　that　day　he　was　unusually　gentle　with　Thekla。　He　talked　of　his　youth　and　the　struggles　of　the　early　days　of　the　firm；　he　related　a　dozen　tales　of　young　Lossing；　all　illustrating　some　admirable　trait　that　he　certainly　had　not　praised　at　the　time。　Never　had　he　so　opened　his　heart　in　regard　to　his　own　idea