the history of john bull-第8章

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rs；　bolts；　and　doors；　chests　of　drawers；　and　strong　boxes；　in　order　to　secure　the　peace　of　my　friend　John　Bull's　family；　and　to　see　his　will　duly　executed。

II。　　In　consideration　of　which　kind　neighbourly　office　of　Nicholas　Frog；　in　that　he　has　been　pleased　to　accept　of　the　aforesaid　trust；　I；　John　Bull；　having　duly　considered　that　my　friend；　Nicholas　Frog；　at　this　time　lives　in　a　marshy　soil　and　unwholesome　air；　infested　with　fogs　and　damps；　destructive　of　the　health　of　himself；　wife；　and　children；　do　bind　and　oblige　me；　my　heirs　and　assigns；　to　purchase　for　the　said　Nicholas　Frog；　with　the　best　and　readiest　of　my　cash；　bonds；　mortgages；　goods　and　chattels；　a　landed　estate；　with　parks；　gardens；　palaces；　rivers；　fields；　and　outlets；　consisting　of　as　large　extent　as　the　said　Nicholas　Frog　shall　think　fit。　　And　whereas　the　said　Nicholas　Frog　is　at　present　hemmed　in　too　close　by　the　grounds　of　Lewis　Baboon；　master　of　the　science　of　defence；　I；　the　said　John　Bull；　do　oblige　myself　with　the　readiest　of　my　cash；　to　purchase　and　enclose　the　said　grounds；　for　as　many　fields　and　acres　as　the　said　Nicholas　shall　think　fit；　to　the　intent　that　the　said　Nicholas　may　have　free　egress　and　regress；　without　let　or　molestation；　suitable　to　the　demands　of　himself　and　family。

III。　　Furthermore；　the　said　John　Bull　obliges　himself　to　make　the　country　neighbours　of　Nicholas　Frog　allot　a　certain　part　of　yearly　rents；　to　pay　for　the　repairs　of　the　said　landed　estate；　to　the　intent　that　his　good　friend；　Nicholas　Frog；　may　be　eased　of　all　charges。

IV。　　And　whereas　the　said　Nicholas　Frog　did　contract　with　the　deceased　Lord　Strutt　about　certain　liberties；　privileges；　and　immunities；　formerly　in　the　possession　of　the　said　John　Bull；　I；　the　said　John　Bull；　do　freely　by　these　presents；　renounce；　quit；　and　make　over　to　the　said　Nicholas；　the　liberties；　privileges；　and　immunities　contracted　for；　in　as　full　a　manner；　as　if　they　never　had　belonged　to　me。

V。　　The　said　John　Bull　obliges　himself；　his　heirs　and　assigns；　not　to　sell　one　rag　of　broad　or　coarse　cloth　to　any　gentleman　within　the　neighbourhood　of　the　said　Nicholas；　except　in　such　quantities　and　such　rates　as　the　said　Nicholas　shall　think　fit。　　　　　　Signed　and　sealed；　　　　　　　　　　　JOHN　BULL；　　　　　　　　　　　NIC。　FROG。

The　reading　of　this　paper　put　Mrs。　Bull　in　such　a　passion　that　she　fell　downright　into　a　fit；　and　they　were　forced　to　give　her　a　good　quantity　of　the　spirit　of　hartshorn　before　she　recovered。

D。　DIEGOWhy　in　such　a　passion；　cousin？　considering　your　circumstances　at　that　time；　I　don't　think　this　such　an　unreasonable　contract。　　You　see　Frog；　for　all　this；　is　religiously　true　to　his　bargain；　he　scorns　to　hearken　to　any　composition　without　your　privacy。

MRS。　BULL。You　know　the　contrary。*　Read　that　letter。

＇Reads　the　superscription。＇　For　Lewis　Baboon；　Master　of　the　Noble　Science　of　Defence。

〃SIR。I　understand　that　you　are　at　this　time　treating　with　my　friend　John　Bull；　about　restoring　the　Lord　Strutt's　custom；　and　besides　allowing　him　certain　privileges　of　parks　and　fish…ponds；　I　wonder　how　you　that　are　a　man　that　knows　the　world；　can　talk　with　that　simple　fellow。　　He　has　been　my　bubble　these　twenty　years；　and　to　my　certain　knowledge；　understands　no　more　of　his　own　affairs　than　a　child　in　swaddling　clothes。　　I　know　he　has　got　a　sort　of　a　pragmatical　silly　jade　of　a　wife；　that　pretends　to　take　him　out　of　my　hands；　but　you　and　she　both　will　find　yourselves　mistaken；　I'll　find　those　that　shall　manage　her；　and　for　him；　he　dares　as　well　be　hanged　as　make　one　step　in　his　affairs　without　my　consent。　　If　you　will　give　me　what　you　promised　him；　I　will　make　all　things　easy；　and　stop　the　deeds　of　ejectment　against　Lord　Strutt：　　if　you　will　not；　take　what　follows。　　I　shall　have　a　good　action　against　you；　for　pretending　to　rob　me　of　my　bubble。　　Take　this　warning　from　　　　　　〃Your　loving　friend；　　　　　　　　　　　〃NIC。　FROG。〃

*　Secret　negotiations　of　the　Dutch　at　that　time。

I　am　told；　cousin　Diego；　you　are　one　of　those　that　have　undertaken　to　manage　me；　and　that　you　have　said　you　will　carry　a　green　bag　yourself；　rather　than　we　shall　make　an　end　of　our　lawsuit：　　I'll　teach　them　and　you　too　to　manage。

D。　DIEGO。For　God's　sake；　madam；　why　so　choleric？　　I　say　this　letter　is　some　forgery；　it　never　entered　into　the　head　of　that　honest　man；　Nic。　Frog；　to　do　any　such　thing。

MRS。　BULL。I　can't　abide　you。　　You　have　been　railing　these　twenty　years　at　Squire　South；　Frog；　and　Hocus；　calling　them　rogues　and　pickpockets；　and　now　they　are　turned　the　honestest　fellows　in　the　world。　　What　is　the　meaning　of　all　this？

D。　DIEGO。Pray　tell　me　how　you　came　to　employ　this　Sir　Roger　in　your　affairs；　and　not　think　of　your　old　friend　Diego？

MRS。　BULL。So；　so；　there　it　pinches。　　To　tell　you　truth；　I　have　employed　Sir　Roger　in　several　weighty　affairs；　and　have　found　him　trusty　and　honest；　and　the　poor　man　always　scorned　to　take　a　farthing　of　me。　　I　have　abundance　that　profess　great　zeal；　but　they　are　damnable　greedy　of　the　pence。　　My　husband　and　I　are　now　in　such　circumstances；　that　we　must　be　served　upon　cheaper　terms　than　we　have　been。

D。　DIEGO。Well；　cousin；　I　find　I　can　do　no　good　with　you；　I　am　sorry　that　you　will　ruin　yourself　by　trusting　this　Sir　Roger。



CHAPTER　XVI。　　How　the　guardians　of　the　deceased　Mrs。　Bull's　three　daughters　came　to　John；　and　what　advice　they　gave　him；　wherein　is　briefly　treated　the　characters　of　the　three　daughters。　　Also　John　Bull's　answer　to　the　three　guardians。*

*　Concerns　of　the　party；　and　speeches　for　carrying　on　the　war；　etc。　Sentiments　of　the　Tories　and　House　of　Commons　against　continuing　the　war　for　setting　King　Charles　upon　the　throne　of　Spain。

I　told　you　in　a　former　chapter　that　Mrs。　Bull；　before　she　departed　this　life；　had　blessed　John　with　three　daughters。　　I　need　not　here　repeat　their　names；　neither　would　I　willingly　use　any　scandalous　reflections　upon　young　ladies；　whose　reputations　ought　to　be　very　tenderly　handled；　but　the　characters　of　these　were　so　well　known　in　the　neighbourhood；　that　it　is　doing　them　no　injury　to　make　a　short　description　of　them。

The　eldest*　was　a　termagant；　imperious；　prodigal；　lewd；　profligate　wench；　as　ever　breathed；　she　used　to　rantipole　about　the　house；　pinch　the　children；　kick　the　servants；　and　torture　the　cats　and　the　dogs；　she　would　rob　her　father's　strong　box；　for　money　to　give　the　young　fellows　that　she　was　fond　of。　　She　had　a　noble　air；　and　something　great　in　her　mien；　but　such　a　noisome　infectious　breath；　as　threw　all　the　servants　that　dressed　her　into　consumptions；　if　she　smelt　to　the　freshest　nosegay；　it　would　shrivel　and　wither　as　it　had　been　blighted：　　she　used　to　come　home　in　her　cups；　and　break　the　china；　and　the　looking…glasses；　and　was　of　such　an　irregular　temper；　and　so　entirely　given　up　to　her　passion；　that　you　might　argue　as　well　with　the　North　wind；　as　with　her　ladyship：　　so　expensive；　that　the　income　of　three　dukedoms　was　not　enough　to　supply　her　extravagance。　　Hocus　loved　her　best；　believing　her　to　be　his　own；　got　upon　the　body　of　Mrs。　Bull。

*　Polemia。

The　second　daughter；*　born　a　year　after　her　sister；　was　a　peevish；　froward；　ill…conditioned　creature　as　ever　was；　ugly　as　the　devil；　lean；　haggard；　pale；　with　saucer　eyes；　a　sharp　nose；　and　hunched　backed；　but　active；　sprightly；　and　diligent　about　her　affairs。　　Her　ill　complexion　was　occasioned　by　her　bad　diet；　which　was　coffee**　morning；　noon；　and　night。　　She　never　rested　quietly　a…bed；　but　used　to　disturb　the　whole　family　with　shrieking　out　in　her　dreams；　and　plague　them　next　day　with　interpreting　them；　for　she　took　them　all　for　gospel；　she　would　cry　out　〃Murder！〃　and　disturb　the　whole　neighbourhood；　and　when　John　came　running　downstairs　to　inquire　what　the　matter　was；　nothing　forsooth；　only　her　maid　had　stuck　a　pin　wrong　in　her　gown；　she　turned　away　one　servant　for　putting　too　much　oil　in　her　salad；　and　another　for　putting　too　little　salt　in　her　water…gruel；　but　such　as　by　flattery　had　procured　her　esteem；　she　would　indulge　in　the　greatest　crime。　　Her　father　had　two　coachmen；　when　one　was　in　the　coach…box；　if　the　coach　swung　but　the　least　to　one　side；　she　used　to　shriek　so　loud；　that　all　the　street　concluded　she　was　overturned；　but　though　the　other　was　eternally　dru