the history of john bull-第12章
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he rest of mankind。〃* As to the giving of pardons； he had this singular method：** that when these wretches had the rope about their necks； it should be inquired who believed they should be hanged； and who not？ The first were to be pardoned； the last hanged outright。 Such as were once pardoned were never to be hanged afterwards for any crime whatsoever。 He had such skill in physiognomy； that he would pronounce peremptorily upon a man's face。 〃That fellow；〃 says he； 〃do what he will； can't avoid hanging； he has a hanging look。〃 By the same art he would prognosticate a principality to a scoundrel。
* Absolute predestination and reprobation。 ** Saving Faith： a belief that one shall certainly be saved。
He was no less particular in the choice of his studies； they were generally bent towards exploded chimeras*the perpetuum mobile； the circular shot； philosopher's stone； silent gunpowder； making chains for fleas； nets for flies； and instruments to unravel cobwebs and split hairs。
* The learning of the Presbyterians。
Thus； I think； I have given a distinct account of the methods he practised upon Peg。 Her brother would now and then ask her； 〃What dost thou see in that pragmatical coxcomb to make thee so in love with him？ He is a fit match for a tailor's or a shoemaker's daughter； but not for you that are a gentlewoman？〃 〃Fancy is free；〃 quoth Peg； 〃I'll take my own way； do you take yours。 I do not care for your flaunting beaus； that gang with their breasts open； and their sarks over their waistcoats； that accost me with set speeches out of Sidney's 'Arcadia' or the 'Academy of Compliments。' Jack is a sober； grave young man； though he has none of your studied harangues； his meaning is sincere。 He has a great regard to his father's will； and he that shows himself a good son will make a good husband。 Besides； I know he has the original deed of conveyance to the Fortunate Islands； the others are counterfeits。〃 There is nothing so obstinate as a young lady in her amours； the more you cross her； the worse she is。
CHAPTER IV。 How the relations reconciled John and his sister Peg； and what return Peg made to John's message。*
* The Treaty of Union。 Reason of it： the Succession not being settled in Scotland。 Fears for the Presbyterian Church Government； and of being burdened with the English National Debts。
John Bull； otherwise a good…natured man； was very hard…hearted to his sister Peg； chiefly from an aversion he had conceived in his infancy。 While he flourished； kept a warm house； and drove a plentiful trade； poor Peg was forced to go hawking and peddling about the streets selling knives； scissors； and shoe…buckles； now and then carried a basket of fish to the market； sewed； spun； and knit for a livelihood； till her fingers' ends were sore； and when she could not get bread for her family； she was forced to hire them out at journey…work to her neighbours。 Yet in these her poor circumstances she still preserved the air and mien of a gentlewoman… …a certain decent pride that extorted respect from the haughtiest of her neighbours。 When she came in to any full assembly； she would not yield the pas to the best of them。 If one asked her； 〃Are not you related to John Bull？〃 〃Yes；〃 says she； 〃he has the honour to be my brother。〃 So Peg's affairs went till all the relations cried out shame upon John for his barbarous usage of his own flesh and blood； that it was an easy matter for him to put her in a creditable way of living； not only without hurt； but with advantage to himself； seeing she was an industrious person； and might be serviceable to him in his way of business。 〃Hang her； jade；〃 quoth John； 〃I can't endure her as long as she keeps that rascal Jack's company。〃 They told him the way to reclaim her was to take her into his house； that by conversation the childish humours of their younger days might be worn out。 These arguments were enforced by a certain incident。 It happened that John was at that time about making his will* and entailing his estate； the very same in which Nic。 Frog is named executor。 Now； his sister Peg's name being in the entail； he could not make a thorough settlement without her consent。 There was； indeed； a malicious story went about as if John's last wife had fallen in love with Jack as he was eating custard on horseback；** that she persuaded John to take his sister into the house the better to drive on the intrigue with Jack； concluding he would follow his mistress Peg。 All I can infer from this story is that when one has got a bad character in the world people will report and believe anything of them； true or false。 But to return to my story。 When Peg received John's message she huffed and stormed： 〃My brother John；〃 quoth she； 〃is grown wondrous kind…hearted all of a sudden； but I meikle doubt whether it be not mair for their own conveniency than for my good； he draws up his writs and his deeds； forsooth； and I must set my hand to them； unsight； unseen。 I like the young man he has settled upon well enough； but I think I ought to have a valuable consideration for my consent。 He wants my poor little farm because it makes a nook in his park…wall。 Ye may e'en tell him he has mair than he makes good use of； he gangs up and down drinking； roaring； and quarrelling； through all the country markets； making foolish bargains in his cups； which he repents when he is sober； like a thriftless wretch； spending the goods and gear that his forefathers won with the sweat of their brows： light come； light go； he cares not a farthing。 But why should I stand surety for his contracts？ The little I have is free； and I can call it my awn hame's hame； let it be never so hamely。 I ken him well enough； he could never abide me； and when he has his ends he'll e'en use me as he did before。 I'm sure I shall be treated like a poor drudgeI shall be set to tend the bairns； darn the hose； and mend the linen。 Then there's no living with that old carline his mother； she rails at Jack； and Jack's an honester man than any of her kin： I shall be plagued with her spells and her Paternosters； and silly old world ceremonies； I mun never pare my nails on a Friday； nor begin a journey on Childermas Day； and I mun stand beeking and binging as I gang out and into the hall。 Tell him he may e'en gang his get； I'll have nothing to do with him； I'll stay like the poor country mouse； in my awn habitation。〃 So Peg talked； but for all that； by the interposition of good friends； and by many a bonny thing that was sent； and many more that were promised Peg； the matter was concluded； and Peg taken into the house upon certain articles：*** one of which was that she might have the freedom of Jack's conversation； and might take him for better and for worse if she pleased： provided always he did not come into the house at unseasonable hours and disturb the rest of the old woman； John's mother。
* The Act of Succession。 ** A Presbyterian Lord Mayor。 *** The Act of Toleration。
CHAPTER V。 Of some Quarrels that happened after Peg was taken into the Family。*
*Quarrels about some of the Articles of Union； particularly the peerage。
It is an old observation that the quarrels of relations are harder to reconcile than any other； injuries from friends fret and gall more； and the memory of them is not so easily obliterated。 This is cunningly represented by one of your old sages called Aesop； in the story of the bird that was grieved extremely at being wounded with an arrow feathered with his own wing； as also of the oak that let many a heavy groan when he was cleft with a wedge of his own timber。
There was no man in the world less subject to rancour than John Bull； considering how often his good nature has been abused； yet I don't know but he was too apt to hearken to tattling people that carry tales between him and his sister Peg； on purpose to sow jealousies and set them together by the ears。 They say that there were some hardships put upon Peg which had been better let alone； but it was the business of good people to restrain the injuries on one side and moderate the resentments on the othera good friend acts both parts； the one without the other will not do。
The purchase…money of Peg's farm was ill paid；*
