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第196章

the decameron(十日谈)-第196章

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left him for that night; and returned to visite him againe the verie
next morning; by which time; he had made a reservation of his Water;
and sent it by a young Damosell unto Maister Doctor; who dwelt then in
the olde market place; at the signe of the Muske Mellone。 Then saide
Bruno unto his Companions; Abide you heere to keepe him company; and I
will walke along to the Physitian; to understand what he will say: and
if neede be; I can procure him to come hither with me。 Calandrino very

kindely accepted his offer; saying withall。 Well Bruno; thou shewst
thy selfe a friend in the time of necessity; I pray thee know of
him; how the case stands with me; for I feele a very strange
alteration within mee; far beyond all compasse of my conceite。
  Bruno being gone to the Physitian; he made such expedition; that
he arrived there before the Damosell; who carried the Water; and
informed Master Simon with the whole tricke intended: wherefore;
when the Damosell was come; and hee had passed his judgement
concerning the water; he said to her。
  Maide; go home againe; and tell Calandrino; that he must keep
himselfe very warme: and I my selfe will instantly be with him; to
enstruct him further in the quality of his sicknesse。
  The Damosell delivered her message accordingly; and it was not
long before Mayster Doctor Simon came; with Bruno also in his company;
and sitting downe on the beds side by Calandrino; hee began to taste
his pulse; and within a small while after; his Wife being come into
the Chamber; he said。 Observe me well Calandrino; for I speake to thee
in the nature of a true friend; thou hast no other disease; but only
thou art great with child。
  So soone as Calandrino heard these words; in dispairing manner he
beganne to rage; and cry out aloud; saying to his wife Ah thou
wicked woman; this is long of thee; and thou hast done me this
mischeefe for alwayes thou wilt be upon me; ever railing at mee; and
fighting; untill thou hast gotten me under thee。 Say thou divellish
creature; do I not tell thee true? The Woman; being of verie honest
and civill conversation; hearing her husband speake so foolishly:
blushing with shame; and hanging downe her head in bashfull manner;
without returning any answer; went forth of her Chamber。
  Calandrino continuing still in his angry humour; wringing his hands;
and beating them upon his breast; said: Wretched man that I am; What
shall I do? How shal I be delivered of this child? Which way can it
come from me into the world? I plainly perceyve; that I am none
other then a dead man; and all through the wickednesse of my Wife:
heaven plague her with as many mischiefes; as I am desirous to finde
ease。 Were I now in as good health; as heere…tofore I have beene; I
would rise out of my bed; and never cease beating her; untill I had
broken her in a thousand peeces。 But if Fortune will be so
favourable to me; as to helpe mee out of this dangerous agony: hang
me; if ever she get me under her againe; or make me such an Asse; in
having the mastery over mee; as diuers times she hath done。
  Bruno; Buffalmaco and Nello; hearing these raving speeches of
Calandrino; were swolne so bigge with laughter; as if their ribbes
would have burst in sunder; neverthelesse; they abstained so well as
they were able; but Doctor Simon gaped so wide with laughing as one
might easily have pluckt out all his teeth。 In the end; because he
could tarry there no longer; but was preparing to depart: Calandrino
thanked him for his paines; requesting that hee would be carefull of
him; in aiding him with his best advise and counsell; and he would not
be unmindfull of him。 Honest neighbour Calandrino; answered the
Phisition; I would not have you to torment your selfe; in such an
impatient and tempestuous manner; because I perceive the time so to
hasten on; as we shall soone perceive (and that within very few
dayes space) your health well restored; and without the sense of
much paine; but indeed it wil cost expences。 Alas Sir; said
Calandrino; mak not any spare of my purse; to procure that I may
have safe deliverance。 I have two hundred Florines; lately falne to me
by the death of mine Aunt; wherewith I intended to purchase a Farme in
the Countrey: take them all if need be; onely reserving some few for
my lying in Childbed。 And then Master Doctor; Alas; I know not how
to behave my selfe; for I have heard the grievous complaint of women
in that case; oppressed with bitter pangs and throwes; as
questionlesse they will bee my death; except you have the greater care
of me。
  Be of good cheere neighbour Calandrino; replyed Doctor Simon; I will
provide an excellent distilled drinke for you; marveilously pleasing
in taste; and of soveraigne vertue; which will resolve all in three
mornings; making you as whole and as sound as a Fish newly spawned。
But you must have an especiall care afterward; being providently wise;
least you fall into the like follies againe。 Concerning the
preparation of this precious drinke; halfe a dozen of Capons; the very
fairest and fattest; I must make use of in the distillation: what
other things shall bee imployed beside; you may deliver forty Florines
to one of these your honest friends; to see all the necessaries bought
and sent me home to my house。 Concerning my businesse; make you no
doubt thereof; for I will have all distilled against to morrow; and
then doe you drinke a great Glasse full every morning; fresh and
fasting next your heart。 Calandrino was highly pleased with his words;
returning master Doctor infinite thankes; and referring all to his
disposing。 And having given forty Florines to Bruno; with other
money beside; to buy the halfe dozen of Capons: he thought himselfe
greatly beholding to them all; and protested to requite their
kindenesse。
  Master Doctor being gone home to his house; made ready a bottel of
very excellent Hypocrasse; which he sent the next day according to his
promise: and Bruno having bought the Capons; with other junkets; fit
for the turne; the Phisitian and his merry Companions; fed on them
hartely for the givers sake。 As for Calandrino; he liked his dyet
drinke excellently well; quaffing a large Glassefull off three
mornings together: afterward Master Doctor and the rest came to see
him; and having felt his pulse; the Phisition said。 Calandrino; thou
art now as sound in health; as any man in all Florence can be: thou
needest not to keepe within doores any longer; but walke abroad
boldly; for all is well and the childe gone。
  Calandrino arose like a joyfull man; and walked daily through the
streets; in the performance of such affaires as belonged to him: and
every acquaintance he met withall; he told the condition of his sudden
sickenesse; and what a rare cure Master Doctor Simon had wrought on
him; delivering him (in three dayes space) of a childe; and without
the feeling of any paine。 Bruno; Buffalmaco; and Nello; were not a
little jocond; for meeting so well with covetous Calandrino: but how
the Wife liked the folly of her Husband; I leave to the judgement of
all good Women。



                    THE NINTH DAY; THE FOURTH NOVELL

       SERVING AS AN ADMONITION TO ALL MEN; FOR TAKING GAMESTERS
                    AND DRUNKARDS INTO THEIR SERVICE

  Francesco Fortarigo; played away all that he had at Buonconvento;
and likewise the money of Francesco Aniolliero; being his Master。 Then
running after him in his shirt; and avouching that hee had robbed him:
he caused him to be taken by Pezants of the Country; clothed
himselfe in his Masters wearing garments; and (mounted on his horse)
rode thence to Sienna; leaving Aniolliero in his shirt; and walked
barefooted。

  The ridiculous words given by Calandrino to his Wife; all the
whole company hartily laughed at: but a Philostratus ceassing;
Madame Neiphila (as it pleased the Queene to appoint) began to
speake thus。 Vertuous Ladies; if it were not more hard and uneasie for
men; to make good their understanding and vertue; then apparant
publication of their disgrace and folly; many would not labour in
vaine; to curbe in their idle speeches with a bridle; as you have
manifestly observed by the weake wit of Calandrino。 W

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