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第171章

the decameron(十日谈)-第171章

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he; desiring to understand who they be; would have each man to receive
one of these Pilles; and afterward to drinke of this Wine; assuring
you all; that whosoever stole the Brawne hence; cannot be able to
swallow the Pill: for it wil be so extreme bitter in his mouth; as
it will enforce him to Coughe and spet extraordinarily。 In which
respect; before such a notorious shame be received; and in so goodly
an assembly; as now are heere present: it were much better for him
or them that have the Brawne; to confesse it in private to this honest
Priest; and I will abstaine from urging anie such publike proofe。
  Every one there present answered; that they were well contented both
to eate and drinke; and let the shame fall where it deserved;
whereupon; Bruno appointing them how they should sit; and placing
Calandrino as one among them: he began his counterfeite exorcisme;
giving each man a Pill; and Buffalmaco a Cup of Wine after it。 But
when he came to Calandrino; hee tooke one of them which was made of
the Dogges dates or Dowsets; and delivering it into his hand;
presently hee put it into his mouth and chewed it。 So soone as his
tongue tasted the bitter Aloes; he began to coughe and spet extreamly;
as being utterly unable; to endure the bitternesse and noysome
smell。 The other men that had receyved the Pils; beganne to gaze one
upon another; to see whose behaviour should discover him; and Bruno
having not (as yet) delivered Pils to them all; proceeded on still
in his businesse; as seeming not to heare any coughing; till one
behinde him; saide。 What meaneth Calandrino by this spetting and
coughing?
  Bruno sodainely turning him about; and seeing Calandrino to cough
and spet in such sort; saide to the rest。 Be not too rash (honest
Friends) in judging of any man; some other matter (then the Pille) may
procure this Coughing; wherfore he shall receive another; the better
to cleare your beleefe concerning him。 He having put the second
prepared Pill into his mouth; while Bruno went to serve the rest of
the Guests: if the first was exceeding bitter to his taste; this other
made it a great deale worse; for teares streamed forth of his eyes
as bigge as Cherry…stones; and champing and chewing the Pill; as
hoping it would overcome his coughing; he coughed and spette the
more violently; and in grosser manner then he did before; nor did they
give him any wine to helpe it。
  Buffalmaco; Bruno; and the whole company; perceiving how he
continued still his coughing and spetting; saide all with one voyce;
That Calandrino was the Theefe to him selfe: and gave him manie grosse
speeches beside; all departing home unto their houses; very much
displeased and angry with him。 After they were gone; none remained
with him but the Priest; Bruno and Buffalmaco; who thus spake to
Calandrino。 I did ever thinke; that thou wast the theefe thy selfe;
yet thou imputedst thy robbery to some other; for feare we should once
drinke freely of thy purse; as thou hast done many times of ours。
Calandrino; who had not yet ended his coughing and spetting; sware
many bitter Oathes; that his Brawne was stolne from him。 Talke so long
as thou wilt; quoth Buffalmaco; thy knavery is both knowne and
seene; and well thou mayst be ashamed of thy selfe。 Calandrino hearing
this; grew desperately angry; and to incense him more; Bruno thus
pursued the matter。
  Heare me Calandrino; for I speake to thee in honest earnest; there
was a man in the company; who did eate and drinke heere among thy
neighbours; and plainly told me; that thou keptst a young Lad heere to
do thee service; feeding him with such victuals as thou couldst spare;
by him thou didst send away thy Brawne; to one that bought it of
thee for foure Crownes; onely to cousen thy poore wife and us。 Canst
thou not yet learne to leave thy mocking and scorning? Thou hast
forgotte; how thou broughtst us to the plaine of Mugnone; to seeke for
black invisible stones: which having found; thou concealedst them to
thy selfe; stealing home invisibly before us; and making us follow
like fooles after thee。
  Now likewise; by horrible lying Oathes; and perjured
protestations; thou wouldst make us beleeve; that the Brawne (which
thou hast cunningly sold for ready money) was stolne from thee out
of thy house; when thou art onely the Theefe to thy selfe; as by
that excellent rule of Art (which never faileth) hath plainly; to
thy shame; appeared。 Wee being so well acquainted with thy
delusions; and knowing them perfectly; now do plainly tell thee;
that we mean not to be foold any more。 Nor is it unknowne to thee;
what paines wee have taken; in making this singular peece of proofe。
Wherefore we inflict this punishment on thee; that thou shalt bestow
on this honest Priest and us; two couple of Capons; and a Flaggon of
Wine; or else we will discover this knavery of thine to thy Wife。
  Calandrino perceiving; that all his protestations could winne no
credit with them; who had now the Law remaining in their owne hands;
and purposed to deale with him as they pleased: apparantly saw; that
sighing and sorrow did nothing availe him。 Moreover; to fall into
his wives tempestuous stormes of chiding; would bee worse to him
then racking or torturing: he gladly therefore gave them money; to buy
the two couple of Capons and Wine; being heartily contented
likewise; that hee was so well delivered from them。 So the merry
Priest; Bruno; and Buffalmaco; having taken good order for salting the
Brawne; closely carried it with them to Florence; leaving Calandrino
to complaine of his losse; and well requited; for mocking them with
the invisible stones。




                   THE EIGHT DAY; THE SEVENTH NOVELL

    SERVING AS AN ADMONITION TO ALL LADIES AND GENTLEWOMEN; NOT TO
     MOCK OR SCORNE GENTLEMEN…SCHOLLERS; WHEN THEY MAKE MEANES OF
         LOVE TO THEM:  EXCEPT THEY INTEND TO SEEKE THEIR OWNE
                        SHAME; BY DISGRACING THEM

  A young Gentleman being a Scholler; fell in love with a Ladie; named
Helena; she being a Widdow; and addicted in affection to another
Gentleman。 One whole night in cold Winter; she caused the Scholler
to expect her comming; in an extreame frost and snow。 In revenge
whereof; by his imagined Art and skill; he made her to stand naked
on the top of a Tower; the space of a whole day; and in the hot moneth
of July; to be Sunburnt and bitten with Waspes and Flies。

  Greatly did the Ladies commend Madame Philomenaes Novell; laughing
heartily at poore Calandrino; yet grieving withall; that he should
be so knavishly cheated; not onely of his Brawne; but two couple of
Capons; and a Flaggon of Wine beside。 But the whole discourse being
ended; the Queene commanded Madame Pampinea; to follow next with her
Novell; and presently she thus began。 It hapneth oftentimes (bright
beauties) that mockery falleth on him; that intended the same unto
another: And there。 fore I am of opinion; that there is very litle
wisedom declared on him or her; who taketh delight in mocking any
person。 must needs confesse; that we have smiled at many mockeries and
deceits; related in those excellent Novels; which we have already
heard: without any due revenge returned; but onely in this last of
silly Calandrino。 Wherefore; it is now my determination; to urge a
kind of compassionate apprehension; upon a very just retribution;
happening to a Gentlewoman of our Citie; because her scorne fell
deservedly upon her selfe; remaining mocked; and to the perill of
her life。 Let Me then assure you; that your diligent attention may
redound to your benefit; because if you keepe your selves
(henceforward) from being scorned by others: you shall expresse the
greater wisedome; and be the better warned by their mishaps。
  As yet there are not many yeares overpast; since there dwelt in
Florence; a yong Lady; descended of Noble parentage; very
beautifull; of sprightly courage; and sufficiently abounding in the
goods of Fortune; she being named Madame Helena。 Her delight was to
live in the estate of Widdowhood; desiring to match her selfe no
more in marriage; because she bare affection to a gallant young
Gentleman; whom she had made her private election of; and wi

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