letters of two brides-第56章
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find in all this fresh reason for loving him。 I have met him； and
think him the most delightful young fellow in Paris。 Yes！ dear child；
when I saw him； I had no difficulty in understanding that a woman
might lose her head about him； his soul is mirrored in his
countenance。 If I were you； I should settle the widow and her children
at the chalet； in a pretty little cottage which you could have built
for them； and adopt the boys！
Be at peace； then； dear soul； and plan this little surprise； in your
turn； for Gaston。
LVI
MME。 GASTON TO THE COMTESSE DE L'ESTORADE
Ah！ my dear friend； what can I say in answer except the cruel /〃It is
too late〃/ of that fool Lafayette to his royal master？ Oh！ my life； my
sweet life； what physician will give it back to me。 My own hand has
dealt the deathblow。 Alas！ have I not been a mere will…o'…the…wisp；
whose twinkling spark was fated to perish before it reached a flame？
My eyes rain torrents of tearsand yet they must not fall when I am
with him。 I fly to him； and he seeks me。 My despair is all within。
This torture Dante forgot to place in his /Inferno。/ Come to see me
die！
LVII
THE COMTESSE DE L'ESTORADE TO THE COMTE DE L'ESTORADE
THE CHALET； August 7th。
My love；Take the children away to Provence without me； I remain with
Louise； who has only a few days yet to live。 I cannot leave either her
or her husband； for whose reason I fear。
You know the scrap of letter which sent me flying to Ville d'Avray；
picking up the doctors on my way。 Since then I have not left my
darling friend； and it has been impossible to write to you； for I have
sat up every night for a fortnight。
When I arrived； I found her with Gaston； in full dress； beautiful；
laughing； happy。 It was a heroic falsehood！ They were like two lovely
children together in their restored confidence。 For a moment I was
deceived； like Gaston； by the effontery； but Louise pressed my hand；
whispering：
〃He must not know； I am dying。〃
An icy chill fell over me as I felt her burning hand and saw the red
spots on her cheeks。 I congratulated myself on my prudence in leaving
the doctors in the wood till they should be sent for。
〃Leave us for a little；〃 she said to Gaston。 〃Two women who have not
met for five years have plenty of secrets to talk over； and Renee； I
have no doubt； has things to confide in me。〃
Directly we were alone； she flung herself into my arms； unable longer
to restrain her tears。
〃Tell me about it；〃 I said。 〃I have brought with me； in case of need；
the best surgeon and the best physician from the hospital； and
Bianchon as well； there are four altogether。〃
〃Ah！〃 she cried； 〃have them in at once if they can save me； if there
is still time。 The passion which hurried me to death now cries for
life！〃
〃But what have you done to yourself？〃
〃I have in a few days brought myself to the last stage of
consumption。〃
〃But how？〃
〃I got myself into a profuse perspiration in the night； and then ran
out and lay down by the side of the lake in the dew。 Gaston thinks I
have a cold； and I am dying！〃
〃Send him to Paris； I will fetch the doctors myself；〃 I said； as I
rushed out wildly to the spot where I had left them。
Alas！ my love； after the consultation was over； not one of the doctors
gave me the least hope； they all believe that Louise will die with the
fall of the leaves。 The dear child's constitution has wonderfully
helped the success of her plan。 It seems she has a predisposition to
this complaint； and though； in the ordinary course； she might have
lived a long time； a few days' folly has made the case desperate。
I cannot tell you what I felt on hearing this sentence； based on such
clear explanations。 You know that I have lived in Louise as much as in
my own life。 I was simply crushed； and could not stir to escort to the
door these harbingers of evil。 I don't know how long I remained lost
in bitter thoughts； the tears running down my cheeks； when I was
roused from my stupor by the words：
〃So there is no hope for me！〃 in a clear； angelic voice。
It was Louise； with her hand on my shoulder。 She made me get up； and
carried me off to her small drawing…room。 With a beseeching glance；
she went on：
〃Stay with me to the end； I won't have doleful faces round me。 Above
all； I must keep the truth from /him/。 I know that I have the strength
to do it。 I am full of youth and spirit； and can die standing！ For
myself； I have no regrets。 I am dying as I wished to die； still young
and beautiful； in the perfection of my womanhood。
〃As for him； I can see very well now that I should have made his life
miserable。 Passion has me in its grips； like a struggling fawn；
impatient of the toils。 My groundless jealousy has already wounded him
sorely。 When the day came that my suspicions met only indifference
which in the long run is the rightful meed of all jealousywell； that
would have been my death。 I have had my share of life。 There are
people whose names on the muster…roll of the world show sixty years of
service； and yet in all that time they have not had two years of real
life； whilst my record of thirty is doubled by the intensity of my
love。
〃Thus for him； as well as for me； the close is a happy one。 But
between us； dear Renee； it is different。 You lose a loving sister； and
that is a loss which nothing can repair。 You alone here have the right
to mourn my death。〃
After a long pause； during which I could only see her through a mist
of tears； she continued：
〃The moral of my death is a cruel one。 My dear doctor in petticoats
was right； marriage cannot rest upon passion as its foundation； nor
even upon love。 How fine and noble is your life！ keeping always to the
one safe road； you give your husband an ever…growing affection； while
the passionate eagerness with which I threw myself into wedded life
was bound in nature to diminish。 Twice have I gone astray； and twice
has Death stretched forth his bony hand to strike my happiness。 The
first time； he robbed me of the noblest and most devoted of men； now
it is my turn； the grinning monster tears me from the arms of my poet
husband； with all his beauty and his grace。
〃Yet I would not complain。 Have I not known in turn two men； each the
very pattern of nobilityone in mind； the other in outward form？ In
Felipe； the soul dominated and transformed the body； in Gaston； one
could not say which was supremeheart； mind； or grace of form。 I die
adoredwhat more could I wish for？ Time； perhaps； in which to draw
near the God of whom I may have too little thought。 My spirit will
take its flight towards Him； full of love； and with the prayer that
some day； in the world above； He will unite me once more to the two
who made a heaven of my life below。 Without them； paradise would be a
desert to me。
〃To others； my example would be fatal； for mine was no common lot。 To
meet a Felipe or a Gaston is more than mortals can expect； and
therefore the doctrine of society in regard to marriage accords with
the natural law。 Woman is weak； and in marrying she ought to make an
entire sacrifice of her will to the man who； in return； should lay his
selfishness at her feet。 The stir which women of late years have
created by their whining and insubordination is ridiculous； and only
shows how well we deserve the epithet of children； bestowed by
philosophers on our sex。〃
She continued talking thus in the gentle voice you know so well；
uttering the gravest truths in the prettiest manner； until Gaston
entered； bringing with him his sister…in…law； the two children； and
the English nurse； whom； at Louise's request； he had been to fetch
from Paris。
〃Here are the pretty instruments of my torture；〃 she said； as her
nephews approached。 〃Was not the mistake excusable？ What a wonderful
likeness to their uncle！〃
She was most friendly to Mme。 Gaston the elder and begged that she
would look upon the chalet as her home； in short； she played the
hostess to her in her best de Chaulieu manner； in which no one can
rival her。
I wrote at once to the Duc and Duchesse de Chaulieu； the Duc de
Rhetore； and the Duc de Lenoncourt…Givry； as well as to Madeleine。 It
was time。 Next day； Louise； worn
