letters of two brides-第42章

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at　the　time　when　you　might　be　in　Paris　enjoying　all　the　Parliamentary
honors　of　the　Comte　de　l'Estorade；　cause　me　serious　anxiety。　You　know
that　your　husband's　〃gift　of　gab〃　and　unsparing　zeal　have　won　for　him
quite　a　position　here；　and　he　will　doubtless　receive　some　very　good
post　when　the　session　is　over。　Pray；　do　you　spend　your　life　writing
him　letters　of　advice？　Numa　was　not　so　far　removed　from　his　Egeria。

Why　did　you　not　take　this　opportunity　of　seeing　Paris？　I　might　have
enjoyed　your　company　for　four　months。　Louis　told　me　yesterday　that　you
were　coming　to　fetch　him；　and　would　have　your　third　confinement　in
Parisyou　terrible　mother　Gigogne！　After　bombarding　Louis　with
queries；　exclamations；　and　regrets；　I　at　last　defeated　his　strategy　so
far　as　to　discover　that　his　grand…uncle；　the　godfather　of　Athenais；　is
very　ill。　Now　I　believe　that　you；　like　a　careful　mother；　would　be
quite　equal　to　angling　with　the　member's　speeches　and　fame　for　a　fat
legacy　from　your　husband's　last　remaining　relative　on　the　mother's
side。　Keep　your　mind　easy；　my　Reneewe　are　all　at　work　for　Louis；
Lenoncourts；　Chaulieus；　and　the　whole　band　of　Mme。　de　Macumer's
followers。　Martignac　will　probably　put　him　into　the　audit　department。
But　if　you　won't　tell　me　why　you　bury　yourself　in　the　country；　I　shall
be　cross。

Tell　me；　are　you　afraid　that　the　political　wisdom　of　the　house　of
l'Estorade　should　seem　to　centre　in　you？　Or　is　it　the　uncle's　legacy？
Perhaps　you　were　afraid　you　would　be　less　to　your　children　in　Paris？
Ah！　what　I　would　give　to　know　whether；　after　all；　you　were　not　simply
too　vain　to　show　yourself　in　Paris　for　the　first　time　in　your　present
condition！　Vain　thing！　Farewell。



XLV

RENEE　TO　LOUISE

You　complain　of　my　silence；　have　you　forgotten；　then；　those　two　little
brown　heads；　at　once　my　subjects　and　my　tyrants？　And　as　to　staying　at
home；　you　have　yourself　hit　upon　several　of　my　reasons。　Apart　from　the
condition　of　our　dear　uncle；　I　didn't　want　to　drag　with　me　to　Paris　a
boy　of　four　and　a　little　girl　who　will　soon　be　three；　when　I　am　again
expecting　my　confinement。　I　had　no　intention　of　troubling　you　and
upsetting　your　husband　with　such　a　party。　I　did　not　care　to　appear；
looking　my　worst；　in　the　brilliant　circle　over　which　you　preside；　and
I　detest　life　in　hotels　and　lodgings。

When　I　come　to　spend　the　session　in　Paris；　it　will　be　in　my　own　house。
Louis'　uncle；　when　he　heard　of　the　rank　his　grand…nephew　had　received；
made　me　a　present　of　two　hundred　thousand　francs　（the　half　of　his
savings）　with　which　to　buy　a　house　in　Paris；　and　I　have　charged　Louis
to　find　one　in　your　neighborhood。　My　mother　has　given　me　thirty
thousand　francs　for　the　furnishing；　and　I　shall　do　my　best　not　to
disgrace　the　dear　sister　of　my　electionno　pun　intended。

I　am　grateful　to　you　for　having　already　done　so　much　at　Court　for
Louis。　But　though　M。　de　Bourmont　and　M。　de　Polignac　have　paid　him　the
compliment　of　asking　him　to　join　their　ministry；　I　do　not　wish　so
conspicuous　a　place　for　him。　It　would　commit　him　too　much；　and　I
prefer　the　Audit　Office　because　it　is　permanent。　Our　affairs　here　are
in　very　good　hands；　so　you　need　not　fear；　as　soon　as　the　steward　has
mastered　the　details；　I　will　come　and　support　Louis。

As　for　writing　long　letters　nowadays；　how　can　I。　This　one；　in　which　I
want　to　describe　to　you　the　daily　routine　of　my　life；　will　be　a　week
on　the　stocks。　Who　can　tell　but　Armand　may　lay　hold　of　it　to　make　caps
for　his　regiments　drawn　up　on　my　carpet；　or　vessels　for　the　fleets
which　sail　his　bath！　A　single　day　will　serve　as　a　sample　of　the　rest；
for　they　are　all　exactly　alike；　and　their　characteristics　reduce
themselves　to　twoeither　the　children　are　well；　or　they　are　not。　For
me；　in　this　solitary　grange；　it　is　no　exaggeration　to　say　that　hours
become　minutes；　or　minutes　hours；　according　to　the　children's　health。

If　I　have　some　delightful　hours；　it　is　when　they　are　asleep　and　I　am
no　longer　needed　to　rock　the　one　or　soothe　the　other　with　stories。
When　I　have　them　sleeping　by　my　side；　I　say　to　myself；　〃Nothing　can　go
wrong　now。〃　The　fact　is；　my　sweet；　every　mother　spends　her　time；　so
soon　as　her　children　are　out　of　her　sight；　in　imagining　dangers　for
them。　Perhaps　it　is　Armand　seizing　the　razors　to　play　with；　or　his
coat　taking　fire；　or　a　snake　biting　him；　or　he　might　tumble　in　running
and　start　an　abscess　on　his　head；　or　he　might　drown　himself　in　a　pond。
A　mother's　life；　you　see；　is　one　long　succession　of　dramas；　now　soft
and　tender；　now　terrible。　Not　an　hour　but　has　its　joys　and　fears。

But　at　night；　in　my　room；　comes　the　hour　for　waking　dreams；　when　I
plan　out　their　future；　which　shines　brightly　in　the　smile　of　the
guardian　angel；　watching　over　their　beds。　Sometimes　Armand　calls　me　in
his　sleep；　I　kiss　his　forehead　（without　rousing　him）；　then　his
sister's　feet；　and　watch　them　both　lying　in　their　beauty。　These　are　my
merry…makings！　Yesterday；　it　must　have　been　our　guardian　angel　who
roused　me　in　the　middle　of　the　night　and　summoned　me　in　fear　to
Athenais'　cradle。　Her　head　was　too　low；　and　I　found　Armand　all
uncovered；　his　feet　purple　with　cold。

〃Darling　mother！〃　he　cried；　rousing　up　and　flinging　his　arms　round　me。

There；　dear；　is　one　of　our　night　scenes　for　you。

How　important　it　is　for　a　mother　to　have　her　children　by　her　side　at
night！　It　is　not　for　a　nurse；　however　careful　she　may　be；　to　take　them
up；　comfort　them；　and　hush　them　to　sleep　again；　when　some　horrid
nightmare　has　disturbed　them。　For　they　have　their　dreams；　and　the　task
of　explaining　away　one　of　those　dread　visions　of　the　night　is　the　more
arduous　because　the　child　is　scared；　stupid；　and　only　half　awake。　It
is　a　mere　interlude　in　the　unconsciousness　of　slumber。　In　this　way　I
have　come　to　sleep　so　lightly；　that　I　can　see　my　little　pair　and　see
them　stirring；　through　the　veil　of　my　eyelids。　A　sigh　or　a　rustle
wakens　me。　For　me；　the　demon　of　convulsions　is　ever　crouching　by　their
beds。

So　much　for　the　nights；　with　the　first　twitter　of　the　birds　my　babies
begin　to　stir。　Through　the　mists　of　dispersing　sleep；　their　chatter
blends　with　the　warblings　that　fill　the　morning　air；　or　with　the
swallows'　noisy　debateslittle　cries　of　joy　or　woe；　which　make　their
way　to　my　heart　rather　than　my　ears。　While　Nais　struggles　to　get　at
me；　making　the　passage　from　her　cradle　to　my　bed　on　all　fours　or　with
staggering　steps；　Armand　climbs　up　with　the　agility　of　a　monkey；　and
has　his　arms　round　me。　Then　the　merry　couple　turn　my　bed　into　a
playground；　where　mother　lies　at　their　mercy。　The　baby…girl　pulls　my
hair；　and　would　take　to　sucking　again；　while　Armand　stands　guard　over
my　breast；　as　though　defending　his　property。　Their　funny　ways；　their
peals　of　laughter；　are　too　much　for　me；　and　put　sleep　fairly　to
flight。

Then　we　play　the　ogress　game；　mother　ogress　eats　up　the　white；　soft
flesh　with　hugs；　and　rains　kisses　on　those　rosy　shoulders　and　eyes
brimming　over　with　saucy　mischief；　we　have　little　jealous　tiffs　too；
so　pretty　to　see。　It　has　happened　to　me；　dear；　to　take　up　my　stockings
at　eight　o'clock　and　be　still　bare…footed　at　nine！

Then　comes　the　getting　up。　The　operation　of　dressing　begins。　I　slip　on
my　dressing…gown；　turn　up　my　sleeves；　and　don　the　mackintosh　apron；
with　Mary's　assistance；　I　wash　and　scrub　my　two　little　blossoms。　I　am
sole　arbiter　of　the　temperature　of　the　bath；　for　a　good　half　of
children's　crying　and　whimpering　comes　from　mistakes　here。　The　moment
has　arrived　for　paper　fleets　and　glass　ducks；　since　the　only　way　to
get　children　thoroughly　washed　is　to　keep　them　well　amused。　If　you
knew　the　diversions　that　have　to　be　invented　before　these　despotic
sovereigns　will　permit　a　soft　sponge　to　be　passed　over　every　nook　and
cranny；　you　would　be　awestruck　at　the　amount　of　ingenuity　and
intelligence　demanded　by　the　maternal　profession　when　one　takes　it
seriously。　Prayers；　scoldings；　promises；　are　alike　in　requisition；
above　all；　the　jugglery　must　be　so　dexterous　that　it　defies　detection。
The　case　would　be　desperate　had　not　Providence　to　the　cunning　of　the
child　matched　that　of　the　mother。　A　child　is　a　diplomatist；　only　to　be
mastered；　like　the　diplomatists　of　the　great　wor