letters of two brides-第41章

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The　marriage　of　my　brother　with　Mlle。　de　Mortsauf　was　celebrated　on
our　return。　Our　gracious　King；　who　really　is　extraordinarily　kind；　has
given　my　brother　the　reversion　of　the　post　of　first　gentleman　of　the
chamber；　which　his　father…in…law　now　fills；　on　the　one　condition　that
the　scutcheon　of　the　Mortsaufs　should　be　placed　side　by　side　with　that
of　the　Lenoncourts。

〃The　office　ought　to　go　with　the　title；〃　he　said　to　the　Duc　de
Lenoncourt…Givry。

My　father　is　justified　a　hundred…fold。　Without　the　help　of　my　fortune
nothing　of　all　this　could　have　taken　place。　My　father　and　mother　came
from　Madrid　for　the　wedding；　and　return　there；　after　the　reception
which　I　give　to…morrow　for　the　bride　and　bridegroom。

The　carnival　will　be　a　very　gay　one。　The　Duc　and　Duchesse　de　Soria　are
in　Paris；　and　their　presence　makes　me　a　little　uneasy。　Marie　Heredia
is　certainly　one　of　the　most　beautiful　women　in　Europe；　and　I　don't
like　the　way　Felipe　looks　at　her。　Therefore　I　am　doubly　lavish　of
sweetness　and　caresses。　Every　look　and　gesture　speak　the　words　which　I
am　careful　my　lips　should　not　utter；　〃/She/　could　not　love　like　this！〃
Heaven　knows　how　lovely　and　fascinating　I　am！　Yesterday　Mme。　de
Maufrigneuse　said　to　me：

〃Dear　child；　who　can　compete　with　you？〃

Then　I　keep　Felipe　so　well　amused；　that　his　sister…in…law　must　seem　as
lively　as　a　Spanish　cow　in　comparison。　I　am　the　less　sorry　that　a
little　Abencerrage　is　not　on　his　way；　because　the　Duchess　will　no
doubt　stay　in　Paris　over　her　confinement；　and　she　won't　be　a　beauty
any　longer。　If　the　baby　is　a　boy；　it　will　be　called　Felipe；　in　honor
of　the　exile。　An　unkind　chance　has　decreed　that　I　shall；　a　second
time；　serve　as　godmother。

Good…bye；　dear；　I　shall　go　to　Chantepleurs　early　this　year；　for　our
Italian　tour　was　shockingly　expensive。　I　shall　leave　about　the　end　of
March；　and　retire　to　economize　in　Nivenais。　Besides；　I　am　tired　of
Paris。　Felipe　sighs；　as　I　do；　after　the　beautiful　quiet　of　the　park；
our　cool　meadows；　and　our　Loire；　with　its　sparkling　sands；　peerless
among　rivers。　Chantepleurs　will　seem　delightful　to　me　after　the　pomps
and　vanities　of　Italy；　for；　after　all；　splendor　becomes　wearisome；　and
a　lover's　glance　has　more　beauty　than　a　/capo　d'opera/　or　a　/bel
quadro/！

We　shall　expect　you　there。　Don't　be　afraid　that　I　shall　be　jealous
again。　You　are　free　to　take　what　soundings　you　please　in　Macumer's
heart；　and　fish　up　all　the　interjections　and　doubts　you　can。　I　am
supremely　indifferent。　Since　that　day　at　Rome　Felipe's　love　for　me　has
grown。　He　told　me　yesterday　（he　is　looking　over　my　shoulder　now）　that
his　sister…in…law；　the　Princess　Heredia；　his　destined　bride　of　old；
the　dream　of　his　youth；　had　no　brains。　Oh！　my　dear；　I　am　worse　than　a
ballet…dancer！　If　you　knew　what　joy　that　slighting　remark　gave　me！　I
have　pointed　out　to　Felipe　that　she　does　not　speak　French　correctly。
She　says　/esemple/　for　/exemple/；　/sain/　for　/cinq/；　/cheu/　for　/je/。
She　is　beautiful　of　course；　but　quite　without　charm　or　the　slightest
scintilla　of　wit。　When　a　compliment　is　paid　her；　she　looks　at　you　as
though　she　didn't　know　what　to　do　with　such　a　strange　thing。　Felipe；
being　what　he　is；　could　not　have　lived　two　months　with　Marie　after　his
marriage。　Don　Fernand；　the　Duc　de　Soria；　suits　her　very　well。　He　has
generous　instincts；　but　it's　easy　to　see　he　has　been　a　spoilt　child。　I
am　tempted　to　be　naughty　and　make　you　laugh；　but　I　won't　draw　the　long
bow。　Ever　so　much　love；　darling。



XLII

RENEE　TO　LOUISE

My　little　girl　is　two　months　old。　She　is　called　Jeanne…Athenais；　and
has　for　godmother　and　godfather　my　mother；　and　an　old　grand…uncle　of
Louis'。

As　soon　as　I　possibly　can；　I　shall　start　for　my　visit　to　Chantepleurs；
since　you　are　not　afraid　of　a　nursing　mother。　Your　godson　can　say　your
name　now；　he　calls　it　/Matoumer/；　for　he　can't　say　/c/　properly。　You
will　be　quite　delighted　with　him。　He　has　got　all　his　teeth；　and　eats
meat　now　like　a　big　boy；　he　is　all　over　the　place；　trotting　about　like
a　little　mouse；　but　I　watch　him　all　the　time　with　anxious　eyes；　and　it
makes　me　miserable　that　I　cannot　keep　him　by　me　when　I　am　laid　up。　The
time　is　more　than　usually　long　with　me；　as　the　doctors　consider　some
special　precautions　necessary。　Alas！　my　child；　habit　does　not　inure
one　to　child…bearing。　There　are　the　same　old　discomforts　and
misgivings。　However　（don't　show　this　to　Felipe）；　this　little　girl
takes　after　me；　and　she　may　yet　cut　out　your　Armand。

My　father　thought　Felipe　looking　very　thin；　and　my　dear　pet　also　not
quite　so　blooming。　Yet　the　Duc　and　Duchesse　de　Soria　have　gone；　not　a
loophole　for　jealousy　is　left！　Is　there　any　trouble　which　you　are
hiding　from　me？　Your　letter　is　neither　so　long　nor　so　full　of　loving
thoughts　as　usual。　Is　this　only　a　whim　of　my　dear　whimsical　friend？

I　am　running　on　too　long。　My　nurse　is　angry　with　me　for　writing；　and
Mlle。　Athenais　de　l'Estorade　wants　her　dinner。　Farewell；　then；　write
me　some　nice　long　letters。



XLIII

MME。　DE　MACUMER　TO　THE　COMTESSE　DE　L'ESTORADE

For　the　first　time　in　my　life；　my　dear　Renee；　I　have　been　alone　and
crying。　I　was　sitting　under　a　willow；　on　a　wooden　bench　by　the　side　of
the　long　Chantepleurs　marsh。　The　view　there　is　charming；　but　it　needs
some　merry　children　to　complete　it；　and　I　wait　for　you。　I　have　been
married　nearly　three　years；　and　no　child！　The　thought　of　your　quiver
full　drove　me　to　explore　my　heart。

And　this　is　what　I　find　there。　〃Oh！　if　I　had　to　suffer　a　hundred…fold
what　Renee　suffered　when　my　godson　was　born；　if　I　had　to　see　my　child
in　convulsions；　even　so　would　to　God　that　I　might　have　a　cherub　of　my
own；　like　your　Athenais！〃　I　can　see　her　from　here　in　my　mind's　eye；
and　I　know　she　is　beautiful　as　the　day；　for　you　tell　me　nothing　about
herthat　is　just　like　my　Renee！　I　believe　you　divine　my　trouble。

Each　time　my　hopes　are　disappointed；　I　fall　a　prey　for　some　days　to
the　blackest　melancholy。　Then　I　compose　sad　elegies。　When　shall　I
embroider　little　caps　and　sew　lace　edgings　to　encircle　a　tiny　head？
When　choose　the　cambric　for　the　baby…clothes？　Shall　I　never　hear　baby
lips　shout　〃Mamma；〃　and　have　my　dress　pulled　by　a　teasing　despot　whom
my　heart　adores？　Are　there　to　be　no　wheelmarks　of　a　little　carriage　on
the　gravel；　no　broken　toys　littered　about　the　courtyard？　Shall　I　never
visit　the　toy…shops；　as　mothers　do；　to　buy　swords；　and　dolls；　and
baby…houses？　And　will　it　never　be　mine　to　watch　the　unfolding　of　a
precious　lifeanother　Felipe；　only　more　dear？　I　would　have　a　son；　if
only　to　learn　how　a　lover　can　be　more　to　one　in　his　second　self。

My　park　and　castle　are　cold　and　desolate　to　me。　A　childless　woman　is　a
monstrosity　of　nature；　we　exist　only　to　be　mothers。　Oh！　my　sage　in
woman's　livery；　how　well　you　have　conned　the　book　of　life！　Everywhere；
too；　barrenness　is　a　dismal　thing。　My　life　is　a　little　too　much　like
one　of　Gessner's　or　Florian's　sheepfolds；　which　Rivarol　longed　to　see
invaded　by　a　wolf。　I　too　have　it　in　me　to　make　sacrifices！　There　are
forces　in　me；　I　feel；　which　Felipe　has　no　use　for；　and　if　I　am　not　to
be　a　mother；　I　must　be　allowed　to　indulge　myself　in　some　romantic
sorrow。

I　have　just　made　this　remark　to　my　belated　Moor；　and　it　brought　tears
to　his　eyes。　He　cannot　stand　any　joking　on　his　love；　so　I　let　him　off
easily；　and　only　called　him　a　paladin　of　folly。

At　times　I　am　seized　with　a　desire　to　go　on　pilgrimage；　to　bear　my
longings　to　the　shrine　of　some　madonna　or　to　a　watering…place。　Next
winter　I　shall　take　medical　advice。　I　am　too　much　enraged　with　myself
to　write　more。　Good…bye。



XLIV

THE　SAME　TO　THE　SAME
Paris；　1829。

A　whole　year　passed；　my　dear；　without　a　letter！　What　does　this　mean？　I
am　a　little　hurt。　Do　you　suppose　that　your　Louis；　who　comes　to　see　me
almost　every　alternate　day；　makes　up　for　you？　It　is　not　enough　to　know
that　you　are　well　and　that　everything　prospers　with　you；　for　I　love
you；　Renee；　and　I　want　to　know　what　you　are　feeling　and　thinking　of；
just　as　I　say　everything　to　you；　at　the　risk　of　being　scolded；　or
censured；　or　misunderstood。　Your　silence　and　seclusion　in　the　country；
at　the　time　when　you　might　be　in　Paris　enjoying　all　the　Parliam