letters of two brides-第38章

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be　mastered　and　swept　off　your　feet　by　a　strong　man；　one　who　will　not
prostrate　himself　in　adoration　before　you；　but　will　seize　your　arm
roughly　in　a　fit　of　jealousy。　Macumer　loves　you　too　fondly　ever　to　be
able　either　to　resist　you　or　find　fault　with　you。　A　single　glance　from
you；　a　single　coaxing　word；　would　melt　his　sternest　resolution。　Sooner
or　later；　you　will　learn　to　scorn　this　excessive　devotion。　He　spoils
you；　alas！　just　as　I　used　to　spoil　you　at　the　convent；　for　you　are　a
most　bewitching　woman；　and　there　is　no　escaping　your　siren…like
charms。

Worse　than　all；　you　are　candid；　and　it　often　happens　that　our
happiness　depends　on　certain　social　hypocrisies　to　which　you　will
never　stoop。　For　instance；　society　will　not　tolerate　a　frank　display
of　the　wife's　power　over　her　husband。　The　convention　is　that　a　man
must　no　more　show　himself　the　lover　of　his　wife；　however　passionately
he　adores　her；　than　a　married　woman　may　play　the　part　of　a　mistress。
This　rule　you　both　disregard。

In　the　first　place；　my　child；　from　what　you　have　yourself　told　me；　it
is　clear　that　the　one　unpardonable　sin　in　society　is　to　be　happy。　If
happiness　exists；　no　one　must　know　of　it。　But　this　is　a　small　point。
What　seems　to　me　important　is　that　the　perfect　equality　which　reigns
between　lovers　ought　never　to　appear　in　the　case　of　husband　and　wife；
under　pain　of　undermining　the　whole　fabric　of　society　and　entailing
terrible　disasters。　If　it　is　painful　to　see　a　man　whom　nature　has　made
a　nonentity；　how　much　worse　is　the　spectacle　of　a　man　of　parts　brought
to　that　position？　Before　very　long　you　will　have　reduced　Macumer　to
the　mere　shadow　of　a　man。　He　will　cease　to　have　a　will　and　character
of　his　own；　and　become　mere　clay　in　your　hands。　You　will　have　so
completely　moulded　him　to　your　likeness；　that　your　household　will
consist　of　only　one　person　instead　of　two；　and　that　one　necessarily
imperfect。　You　will　regret　it　bitterly；　but　when　at　last　you　deign　to
open　your　eyes；　the　evil　will　be　past　cure。　Do　what　we　will；　women　do
not；　and　never　will；　possess　the　qualities　which　are　characteristic　of
men；　and　these　qualities　are　absolutely　indispensable　to　family　life。
Already　Macumer；　blinded　though　he　is；　has　a　dim　foreshadowing　of　this
future；　he　feels　himself　less　a　man　through　his　love。　His　visit　to
Sardinia　is　a　proof　to　me　that　he　hopes　by　this　temporary　separation
to　succeed　in　recovering　his　old　self。

You　never　scruple　to　use　the　power　which　his　love　has　placed　in　your
hand。　Your　position　of　vantage　may　be　read　in　a　gesture；　a　look；　a
tone。　Oh！　darling；　how　truly　are　you　the　mad　wanton　your　mother　called
you！　You　do　not　question；　I　fancy；　that　I　am　greatly　Louis'　superior。
Well；　I　would　ask　you；　have　you　ever　heard　me　contradict　him？　Am　I　not
always；　in　the　presence　of　others；　the　wife　who　respects　in　him　the
authority　of　the　family？　Hypocrisy！　you　will　say。　Well；　listen　to　me。
It　is　true　that　if　I　want　to　give　him　any　advice　which　I　think　may　be
of　use　to　him；　I　wait　for　the　quiet　and　seclusion　of　our　bedroom　to
explain　what　I　think　and　wish；　but；　I　assure　you；　sweetheart；　that
even　there　I　never　arrogate　to　myself　the　place　of　mentor。　If　I　did
not　remain　in　private　the　same　submissive　wife　that　I　appear　to
others；　he　would　lose　confidence　in　himself。　Dear；　the　good　we　do　to
others　is　spoilt　unless　we　efface　ourselves　so　completely　that　those
we　help　have　no　sense　of　inferiority。　There　is　a　wonderful　sweetness
in　these　hidden　sacrifices；　and　what　a　triumph　for　me　in　your
unsuspecting　praises　of　Louis！　There　can　be　no　doubt　also　that　the
happiness；　the　comfort；　the　hope　of　the　last　two　years　have　restored
what　misfortune；　hardship；　solitude；　and　despondency　has　robbed　him
of。

This；　then；　is　the　sum…total　of　my　observations。　At　the　present　moment
you　love　in　Felipe；　not　your　husband；　but　yourself。　There　is　truth　in
your　father's　words；　concealed　by　the　spring…flowers　of　your　passion
lies　all　the　great　lady's　selfishness。　Ah！　my　child；　how　I　must　love
you　to　speak　such　bitter　truths！

Let　me　tell　you；　if　you　will　promise　never　to　breathe　a　word　of　this
to　the　Baron；　the　end　of　our　talk。　We　had　been　singing　your　praises　in
every　key；　for　he　soon　discovered　that　I　loved　you　like　a　fondly…
cherished　sister；　and　having　insensibly　brought　him　to　a　confidential
mood；　I　ventured　to　say：

〃Louise　has　never　yet　had　to　struggle　with　life。　She　has　been　the
spoilt　child　of　fortune；　and　she　might　yet　have　to　pay　for　this　were
you　not　there　to　act　the　part　of　father　as　well　as　lover。〃

〃Ah！　but　is　it　possible？　。　。　。〃　He　broke　off　abruptly；　like　a　man　who
sees　himself　on　the　edge　of　a　precipice。　But　the　exclamation　was
enough　for　me。　No　doubt；　if　you　had　stayed；　he　would　have　spoken　more
freely　later。

My　sweet；　think　of　the　day　awaiting　you　when　your　husband's　strength
will　be　exhausted；　when　pleasure　will　have　turned　to　satiety；　and　he
sees　himself；　I　will　not　say　degraded；　but　shorn　of　his　proper　dignity
before　you。　The　stings　of　conscience　will　then　waken　a　sort　of　remorse
in　him；　all　the　more　painful　for　you；　because　you　will　feel　yourself
responsible；　and　you　will　end　by　despising　the　man　whom　you　have　not
accustomed　yourself　to　respect。　Remember；　too；　that　scorn　with　a　woman
is　only　the　earliest　phase　of　hatred。　You　are　too　noble　and　generous；
I　know；　ever　to　forget　the　sacrifices　which　Felipe　has　made　for　you；
but　what　further　sacrifices　will　be　left　for　him　to　make　when　he　has；
so　to　speak；　served　up　himself　at　the　first　banquet？　Woe　to　the　man；
as　to　the　woman；　who　has　left　no　desire　unsatisfied！　All　is　over　then。
To　our　shame　or　our　glorythe　point　is　too　nice　for　me　to　decideit
is　of　love　alone　that　women　are　insatiable。

Oh！　Louise；　change　yet；　while　there　is　still　time。　If　you　would　only
adopt　the　same　course　with　Macumer　that　I　have　done　with　l'Estorade；
you　might　rouse　the　sleeping　lion　in　your　husband；　who　is　made　of　the
stuff　of　heroes。　One　might　almost　say　that　you　grudge　him　his
greatness。　Would　you　feel　no　pride　in　using　your　power　for　other　ends
than　your　own　gratification；　in　awakening　the　genius　of　a　gifted　man；
as　I　in　raising　to　a　higher　level　one　of　merely　common　parts？

Had　you　remained　with　us；　I　should　still　have　written　this　letter；　for
in　talking　you　might　have　cut　me　short　or　got　the　better　of　me　with
your　sharp　tongue。　But　I　know　that　you　will　read　this　thoughtfully　and
weigh　my　warnings。　Dear　heart；　you　have　everything　in　life　to　make　you
happy；　do　not　spoil　your　chances；　return　to　Paris；　I　entreat　you；　as
soon　as　Macumer　comes　back。　The　engrossing　claims　of　society；　of　which
I　complained；　are　necessary　for　both　of　you；　otherwise　you　would　spend
your　life　in　mutual　self…absorption。　A　married　woman　ought　not　to　be
too　lavish　of　herself。　The　mother　of　a　family；　who　never　gives　her
household　an　opportunity　of　missing　her；　runs　the　risk　of　palling　on
them。　If　I　have　several　children；　as　I　trust　for　my　own　sake　I　may；　I
assure　you　I　shall　make　a　point　of　reserving　to　myself　certain　hours
which　shall　be　held　sacred；　even　to　one's　children　one's　presence
should　not　be　a　matter　of　daily　bread。

Farewell；　my　dear　jealous　soul！　Do　you　know　that　many　women　would　be
highly　flattered　at　having　roused　this　passing　pang　in　you？　Alas！　I
can　only　mourn；　for　what　is　not　mother　in　me　is　your　dear　friend。　A
thousand　loves。　Make　what　excuse　you　will　for　leaving；　if　you　are　not
sure　of　Macumer；　I　am　of　Louis。



XXXVII

THE　BARONNE　DE　MACUMER　TO　THE　VICOMTESSE　DE　L'ESTORADE
Genoa。

My　beloved　beauty；I　was　bitten　with　the　fancy　to　see　something　of
Italy；　and　I　am　delighted　at　having　carried　off　Macumer；　whose　plans
in　regard　to　Sardinia　are　postponed。

This　country　is　simple　ravishing。　The　churchesabove　all；　the　chapels
have　a　seductive；　bewitching　air；　which　must　make　every　female
Protestant　yearn　after　Catholicism。　Macumer　has　been　received　with
acclamation；　and　they　are　all　delighted　to　have　made　an　Italian　of　so
distinguished　a　man。　Felipe　could　have　the　Sardinian　embassy　at　Paris
if　I　cared　about　it；　for　I　am　made　much　of　at　court。

If　you　write；　address　your　letters　to　Florence。　I　have　not　time　now　to
go　into　any　details