letters of two brides-第37章

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it　Marie　Heredia；　and　I　can　be　jealous　of　the　past　too。　Your
magnificent　black　hair；　your　lovely　dark　eyes；　your　brow；　where　the
peaceful　joy　of　motherhood　stands　out　radiant　against　the　shadows
which　tell　of　past　suffering；　the　freshness　of　your　southern　skin；　far
fairer　than　that　of　a　blonde　like　me；　the　splendid　lines　of　your
figure；　the　breasts；　on　which　my　godson　hangs；　peeping　through　the
lace　like　some　luscious　fruit；all　this　stabbed　me　in　the　eyes　and　in
the　heart。　In　vain　did　I　stick　cornflowers　in　my　curls；　in　vain　set
off　with　cherry…colored　ribbons　the　tameness　of　my　pale　locks；
everything　looked　washed　out　when　Renee　appeareda　Renee　so　unlike
the　one　I　expected　to　find　in　your　oasis。

Then　Felipe　made　too　much　of　the　child；　whom　I　found　myself　beginning
to　hate。　Yes；　I　confess　it；　that　exuberance　of　life　which　fills　your
house；　making　it　gay　with　shouts　and　laughterI　wanted　it　for　myself。
I　read　a　regret　in　Macumer's　eyes；　and；　unknown　to　him；　I　cried　over
it　two　whole　nights。　I　was　miserable　in　your　house。　You　are　too
beautiful　as　a　woman；　too　triumphant　as　a　mother；　for　me　to　endure
your　company。

Ah！　you　complained　of　your　lot。　Hypocrite！　What　would　you　have？
L'Estorade　is　most　presentable；　he　talks　well；　he　has　fine　eyes；　and
his　black　hair；　dashed　with　white；　is　very　becoming；　his　southern
manners；　too；　have　something　attractive　about　them。　As　far　as　I　can
make　out；　he　will；　sooner　or　later；　be　elected　deputy　for　the　Bouches…
du…Rhone；　in　the　Chamber　he　is　sure　to　come　to　the　front；　for　you　can
always　count　on　me　to　promote　your　interests。　The　sufferings　of　his
exile　have　given　him　that　calm　and　dignified　air　which　goes　half…way；
in　my　opinion；　to　make　a　politician。　For　the　whole　art　of　politics；
dear；　seems　to　me　to　consist　in　looking　serious。　At　this　rate；
Macumer；　as　I　told　him；　ought　certainly　to　have　a　high　position　in　the
state。

And　so；　having　completely　satisfied　myself　of　your　happiness；　I　fly
off　contented　to　my　dear　Chantepleurs；　where　Felipe　must　really
achieve　his　aspirations。　I　have　made　up　my　mind　not　to　receive　you
there　without　a　fine　baby　at　my　breast　to　match　yours。

Oh！　I　know　very　well　I　deserve　all　the　epithets　you　can　hurl　at　me。　I
am　a　fool；　a　wretch；　an　idiot。　Alas！　that　is　just　what　jealousy　means。
I　am　not　vexed　with　you；　but　I　was　miserable；　and　you　will　forgive　me
for　escaping　from　my　misery。　Two　days　more；　and　I　should　have　made　an
exhibition　of　myself；　yes；　there　would　have　been　an　outbreak　of
vulgarity。

But　in　spite　of　the　rage　gnawing　at　my　heart；　I　am　glad　to　have　come；
glad　to　have　seen　you　in　the　pride　of　your　beautiful　motherhood；　my
friend　still；　as　I　remain　yours　in　all　the　absorption　of　my　love。　Why；
even　here　at　Marseilles；　only　a　step　from　your　door；　I　begin　to　feel
proud　of　you　and　of　the　splendid　mother　that　you　will　make。

How　well　you　judged　your　vocation！　You　seem　to　me　born　for　the　part　of
mother　rather　than　of　lover；　exactly　as　the　reverse　is　true　of　me。
There　are　women　capable　of　neither；　hard…favored　or　silly　women。　A
good　mother　and　a　passionately　loving　wife　have　this　in　common；　that
they　both　need　intelligence　and　discretion　ever　at　hand；　and　an
unfailing　command　of　every　womanly　art　and　grace。　Oh！　I　watched　you
well；　need　I　add；　sly　puss；　that　I　admired　you　too！　Your　children　will
be　happy；　but　not　spoilt；　with　your　tenderness　lapping　them　round　and
the　clear　light　of　your　reason　playing　softly　on　them。

Tell　Louis　the　truth　about　my　going　away；　but　find　some　decent　excuse
for　your　father…in…law；　who　seems　to　act　as　steward　for　the
establishment；　and　be　careful　to　do　the　same　for　your　familya　true
Provencal　version　of　the　Harlowe　family。　Felipe　does　not　know　why　I
left；　and　he　will　never　know。　If　he　asks；　I　shall　contrive　to　find
some　colorable　pretext；　probably　that　you　were　jealous　of　me！　Forgive
me　this　little　conventional　fib。

Good…bye。　I　write　in　haste；　as　I　want　you　to　get　this　at　lunch…time；
and　the　postilion；　who　has　undertaken　to　convey　it　to　you；　is　here；
refreshing　himself　while　he　waits。

Many　kisses　to　my　dear　little　godson。　Be　sure　you　come　to　Chantepleurs
in　October。　I　shall　be　alone　there　all　the　time　that　Macumer　is　away
in　Sardinia；　where　he　is　designing　great　improvements　in　his　estate。
At　least　that　is　his　plan　for　the　moment；　and　his　pet　vanity　consists
in　having　a　plan。　Then　he　feels　that　he　has　a　will　of　his　own；　and
this　makes　him　very　uneasy　when　he　unfolds　it　to　me。　Good…bye！



XXXVI

THE　VICOMTESSE　DE　L'ESTORADE　TO　THE　BARONNE　DE　MACUMER

Dear；no　words　can　express　the　astonishment　of　all　our　party　when；　at
luncheon；　we　were　told　that　you　had　both　gone；　and；　above　all；　when
the　postilion　who　took　you　to　Marseilles　handed　me　your　mad　letter。
Why；　naughty　child；　it　was　of　your　happiness；　and　nothing　else；　that
made　the　theme　of　those　talks　below　the　rock；　on　the　〃Louise〃　seat；
and　you　had　not　the　faintest　justification　for　objecting　to　them。
/Ingrata！/　My　sentence　on　you　is　that　you　return　here　at　my　first
summons。　In　that　horrid　letter；　scribbled　on　the　inn　paper；　you　did
not　tell　me　what　would　be　your　next　stopping　place；　so　I　must　address
this　to　Chantepleurs。

Listen　to　me；　dear　sister　of　my　heart。　Know　first；　that　my　mind　is　set
on　your　happiness。　Your　husband；　dear　Louise；　commands　respect；　not
only　by　his　natural　gravity　and　dignified　expression；　but　also　because
he　somehow　impresses　one　with　the　splendid　power　revealed　in　his
piquant　plainness　and　in　the　fire　of　his　velvet　eyes；　and　you　will
understand　that　it　was　some　little　time　before　I　could　meet　him　on
those　easy　terms　which　are　almost　necessary　for　intimate　conversation。
Further；　this　man　has　been　Prime　Minister；　and　he　idolizes　you；　whence
it　follows　that　he　must　be　a　profound　dissembler。　To　fish　up　secrets；
therefore；　from　the　rocky　caverns　of　this　diplomatic　soul　is　a　work
demanding　a　skilful　hand　no　less　than　a　ready　brain。　Nevertheless；　I
succeeded　at　last；　without　rousing　my　victim's　suspicions；　in
discovering　many　things　of　which　you；　my　pet；　have　no　conception。

You　know　that；　between　us　two；　my　part　is　rather　that　of　reason；　yours
of　imagination：　I　personify　sober　duty；　you　reckless　love。　It　has
pleased　fate　to　continue　in　our　lives　this　contrast　in　character　which
was　imperceptible　to　all　except　ourselves。　I　am　a　simple　country
vicountess；　very　ambitious；　and　making　it　her　task　to　lead　her　family
on　the　road　to　prosperity。　On　the　other　hand；　Macumer；　late　Duc　de
Soria；　has　a　name　in　the　world；　and　you；　a　duchess　by　right；　reign　in
Paris；　where　reigning　is　no　easy　matter　even　for　kings。　You　have　a
considerable　fortune；　which　will　be　doubled　if　Macumer　carries　out　his
projects　for　developing　his　great　estates　in　Sardinia；　the　resources
of　which　are　matter　of　common　talk　at　Marseilles。　Deny；　if　you　can；
that　if　either　has　the　right　to　be　jealous；　it　is　not　you。　But；　thank
God；　we　have　both　hearts　generous　enough　to　place　our　friendship
beyond　reach　of　such　vulgar　pettiness。

I　know　you；　dear；　I　know　that；　ere　now；　you　are　ashamed　of　having
fled。　But　don't　suppose　that　your　flight　will　save　you　from　a　single
word　of　discourse　which　I　had　prepared　for　your　benefit　to…day　beneath
the　rock。　Read　carefully　then；　I　beg　of　you；　what　I　say；　for　it
concerns　you　even　more　closely　than　Macumer；　though　he　also　enters
largely　into　my　sermon。

Firstly；　my　dear；　you　do　not　love　him。　Before　two　years　are　over；　you
will　be　sick　of　adoration。　You　will　never　look　on　Felipe　as　a　husband；
to　you　he　will　always　be　the　lover　whom　you　can　play　with；　for　that　is
how　all　women　treat　their　lovers。　You　do　not　look　up　to　him；　or
reverence；　or　worship　him　as　a　woman　should　the　god　of　her　idolatry。
You　see；　I　have　made　a　study　of　love；　my　sweet；　and　more　than　once
have　I　taken　soundings　in　the　depth　of　my　own　heart。　Now；　as　the
result　of　a　careful　diagnosis　of　your　case；　I　can　say　with　confidence；
this　is　not　love。

Yes；　dear　Queen　of　Paris；　you　cannot　escape　the　destiny　of　all　queens。
The　day　will　come　when　you　long　to　be　treated　as　a　light…o'…love；　to
be　mastered　and　swept　off　your　feet　by　a　strong　man；　one　who　will　not
prostrate　himself　in　adoration