letters of two brides-第27章
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long track of light behind。 It breaks on me through the clouds of my
cigarette smoke。 More than ever do I feel how every drop of this
surging blood throbs for you。
Can you be ignorant how you are loved？ After seeing you； I return to
my study； and the glitter of its Saracenic ornaments sinks to nothing
before the brightness of your portrait； when I open the spring that
keeps it locked up from every eye and lose myself in endless musings
or link my happiness to verse。 From the heights of heaven I look down
upon the course of a life such as my hopes dare to picture it！ Have
you never； in the silence of the night； or through the roar of the
town； heard the whisper of a voice in your sweet； dainty ear？ Does no
one of the thousand prayers that I speed to you reach home？
By dint of silent contemplation of your pictured face； I have
succeeded in deciphering the expression of every feature and tracing
its connection with some grace of the spirit； and then I pen a sonnet
to you in Spanish on the harmony of the twofold beauty in which nature
has clothed you。 These sonnets you will never see； for my poetry is
too unworthy of its theme； I dare not send it to you。 Not a moment
passes without thoughts of you； for my whole being is bound up in you；
and if you ceased to be its animating principle； every part would
ache。
Now； Louise； can you realize the torture to me of knowing that I had
displeased you； while entirely ignorant of the cause？ The ideal double
life which seemed so fair was cut short。 My heart turned to ice within
me as； hopeless of any other explanation； I concluded that you had
ceased to love me。 With heavy heart； and yet not wholly without
comfort； I was falling back upon my old post as servant； then your
letter came and turned all to joy。 Oh！ might I but listen for ever to
such chiding！
Once a child； picking himself up from a tumble； turned to his mother
with the words 〃Forgive me。〃 Hiding his own hurt； he sought pardon for
the pain he had caused her。 Louise； I was that child； and such as I
was then； I am now。 Here is the key to my character； which your slave
in all humility places in your hands。
But do not fear； there will be no more stumbling。 Keep tight the chain
which binds me to you； so that a touch may communicate your lightest
wish to him who will ever remain your slave；
FELIPE。
XXIV
LOUISE DE CHAULIEU TO RENEE DE L'ESTORADE
October。
My dear friend；How is it possible that you； who brought yourself in
two months to marry a broken…down invalid in order to mother him；
should know anything of that terrible shifting drama； enacted in the
recesses of the heart； which we call lovea drama where death lies in
a glance or a light reply？
I had reserved for Felipe one last supreme test which was to be
decisive。 I wanted to know whether his love was the love of a Royalist
for his King； who can do no wrong。 Why should the loyalty of a
Catholic be less supreme？
He walked with me a whole night under the limes at the bottom of the
garden； and not a shadow of suspicion crossed his soul。 Next day he
loved me better； but the feeling was as reverent； as humble； as
regretful as ever； he had not presumed an iota。 Oh！ he is a very
Spaniard； a very Abencerrage。 He scaled my wall to come and kiss the
hand which in the darkness I reached down to him from my balcony。 He
might have broken his neck； how many of our young men would do the
like？
But all this is nothing； Christians suffer the horrible pangs of
martyrdom in the hope of heaven。 The day before yesterday I took aside
the royal ambassador…to…be at the court of Spain； my much respected
father； and said to him with a smile：
〃Sir； some of your friends will have it that you are marrying your
dear Armande to the nephew of an ambassador who has been very anxious
for this connection； and has long begged for it。 Also； that the
marriage…contract arranges for his nephew to succeed on his death to
his enormous fortune and his title； and bestows on the young couple in
the meantime an income of a hundred thousand livres； on the bride a
dowry of eight hundred thousand francs。 Your daughter weeps； but bows
to the unquestioned authority of her honored parent。 Some people are
unkind enough to say that； behind her tears； she conceals a worldly
and ambitious soul。
〃Now； we are going to the gentleman's box at the Opera to…night； and
M。 le Baron de Macumer will visit us there。〃
〃Macumer needs a touch of the spur then；〃 said my father； smiling at
me； as though I were a female ambassador。
〃You mistake Clarissa Harlowe for Figaro！〃 I cried； with a glance of
scorn and mockery。 〃When you see me with my right hand ungloved； you
will give the lie to this impertinent gossip； and will mark your
displeasure at it。〃
〃I may make my mind easy about your future。 You have no more got a
girl's headpiece than Jeanne d'Arc had a woman's heart。 You will be
happy； you will love nobody； and will allow yourself to be loved。〃
This was too much。 I burst into laughter。
〃What is it； little flirt？〃 he said。
〃I tremble for my country's interests 。 。 。〃
And seeing him look quite blank； I added：
〃At Madrid！〃
〃You have no idea how this little nun has learned； in a year's time；
to make fun of her father；〃 he said to the Duchess。
〃Armande makes light of everything；〃 my mother replied； looking me in
the face。
〃What do you mean？〃 I asked。
〃Why； you are not even afraid of rheumatism on these damp nights；〃 she
said； with another meaning glance at me。
〃Oh！〃 I answered； 〃the mornings are so hot！〃
The Duchess looked down。
〃It's high time she were married；〃 said my father； 〃and it had better
be before I go。〃
〃If you wish it；〃 I replied demurely。
Two hours later； my mother and I； the Duchesse de Maufrigneuse and
Mme。 d'Espard； were all four blooming like roses in the front of the
box。 I had seated myself sideways； giving only a shoulder to the
house； so that I could see everything； myself unseen； in that spacious
box which fills one of the two angles at the back of the hall； between
the columns。
Macumer came； stood up； and put his opera…glasses before his eyes so
that he might be able to look at me comfortably。
In the first interval entered the young man whom I call 〃king of the
profligates。〃 The Comte Henri de Marsay； who has great beauty of an
effeminate kind； entered the box with an epigram in his eyes； a smile
upon his lips； and an air of satisfaction over his whole countenance。
He first greeted my mother； Mme。 d'Espard； and the Duchesse de
Maufrigneuse； the Comte d'Esgrignon； and M。 de Canalis； then turning
to me； he said：
〃I do not know whether I shall be the first to congratulate you on an
event which will make you the object of envy to many。〃
〃Ah！ a marriage！〃 I cried。 〃Is it left for me； a girl fresh from the
convent； to tell you that predicted marriages never come off。〃
M。 de Marsay bent down； whispering to Macumer； and I was convinced；
from the movement of his lips； that what he said was this：
〃Baron； you are perhaps in love with that little coquette； who has
used you for her own ends； but as the question is one not of love； but
of marriage； it is as well for you to know what is going on。〃
Macumer treated this officious scandal…monger to one of those glances
of his which seem to me so eloquent of noble scorn； and replied to the
effect that he was 〃not in love with any little coquette。〃 His whole
bearing so delighted me； that directly I caught sight of my father；
the glove was off。
Felipe had not a shadow of fear or doubt。 How well did he bear out my
expectations！ His faith is only in me； society cannot hurt him with
its lies。 Not a muscle of the Arab's face stirred； not a drop of the
blue blood flushed his olive cheek。
The two young counts went out； and I said； laughing； to Macumer：
〃M。 de Marsay has been treating you to an epigram on me。〃
〃He did more；〃 he replied。 〃It was an epithalamium。〃
〃You speak Greek to me；〃 I said； rewarding him with a smile and a
certain look which always embarrasses him。
My father meantime was talking to Mme。 de Maufrigneuse。
〃I should think so！〃 he exclaimed。 〃The gossip which gets about is
sc
