letters of two brides-第13章

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or　fear；　or　suffer？　And　supposing　the　glorious　morning　rises　which
will　bring　you　face　to　face　with　the　man　destined　to　rouse　you　from
the　sleep　into　which　you　are　plunging！　。　。　。　Ah！　a　cold　shiver　goes
through　me　at　the　thought！

Well；　at　least　you　have　a　friend。　You；　it　is　understood；　are　to　be　the
guardian　angel　of　your　valley。　You　will　grow　familiar　with　its
beauties；　will　live　with　it　in　all　its　aspects；　till　the　grandeur　of
nature；　the　slow　growth　of　vegetation；　compared　with　the　lightning
rapidity　of　thought；　become　like　a　part　of　yourself；　and　as　your　eye
rests　on　the　laughing　flowers；　you　will　question　your　own　heart。　When
you　walk　between　your　husband；　silent　and　contented；　in　front；　and
your　children　screaming　and　romping　behind；　I　can　tell　you　beforehand
what　you　will　write　to　me。　Your　misty　valley；　your　hills；　bare　or
clothed　with　magnificent　trees；　your　meadow；　the　wonder　of　Provence；
with　its　fresh　water　dispersed　in　little　runlets；　the　different
effects　of　the　atmosphere；　this　whole　world　of　infinity　which　laps　you
round；　and　which　God　has　made　so　various；　will　recall　to　you　the
infinite　sameness　of　your　soul's　life。　But　at　least　I　shall　be　there；
my　Renee；　and　in　me　you　will　find　a　heart　which　no　social　pettiness
shall　ever　corrupt；　a　heart　all　your　own。

Monday。

My　dear；　my　Spaniard　is　quite　adorably　melancholy；　there　is　something
calm；　severe；　manly；　and　mysterious　about　him　which　interests　me
profoundly。　His　unvarying　solemnity　and　the　silence　which　envelops　him
act　like　an　irritant　on　the　mind。　His　mute　dignity　is　worthy　of　a
fallen　king。　Griffith　and　I　spend　our　time　over　him　as　though　he　were
a　riddle。

How　odd　it　is！　A　language…master　captures　my　fancy　as　no　other　man　has
done。　Yet　by　this　time　I　have　passed　in　review　all　the　young　men　of
family；　the　attaches　to　embassies；　and　the　ambassadors；　generals；　and
inferior　officers；　the　peers　of　France；　their　sons　and　nephews；　the
court；　and　the　town。

The　coldness　of　the　man　provokes　me。　The　sandy　waste　which　he　tries　to
place；　and　does　place；　between　us　is　covered　by　his　deeprooted　pride；
he　wraps　himself　in　mystery。　The　hanging　back　is　on　his　side；　the
boldness　on　mine。　This　odd　situation　affords　me　the　more　amusement
because　the　whole　thing　is　mere　trifling。　What　is　a　man；　a　Spaniard；
and　a　teacher　of　languages　to　me？　I　make　no　account　of　any　man
whatever；　were　he　a　king。　We　are　worth　far　more；　I　am　sure；　than　the
greatest　of　them。　What　a　slave　I　would　have　made　of　Napoleon！　If　he
had　loved　me；　shouldn't　he　have　felt　the　whip！

Yesterday　I　aimed　a　shaft　at　M。　Henarez　which　must　have　touched　him　to
the　quick。　He　made　no　reply；　the　lesson　was　over；　and　he　bowed　with　a
glance　at　me；　in　which　I　read　that　he　would　never　return。　This　suits
me　capitally；　there　would　be　something　ominous　in　starting　an
imitation　/Nouvelle　Heloise/。　I　have　just　been　reading　Rousseau's；　and
it　has　left　me　with　a　strong　distaste　for　love。　Passion　which　can
argue　and　moralize　seems　to　me　detestable。

Clarissa　also　is　much　too　pleased　with　herself　and　her　long；　little
letter；　but　Richardson's　work　is　an　admirable　picture；　my　father　tells
me；　of　English　women。　Rousseau's　seems　to　me　a　sort　of　philosophical
sermon；　cast　in　the　form　of　letters。

Love；　as　I　conceive　it；　is　a　purely　subjective　poem。　In　all　that　books
tell　us　about　it；　there　is　nothing　which　is　not　at　once　false　and
true。　And　so；　my　pretty　one；　as　you　will　henceforth　be　an　authority
only　on　conjugal　love；　it　seems　to　me　my　dutyin　the　interest；　of
course；　of　our　common　lifeto　remain　unmarried；　and　have　a　grand
passion；　so　that　we　may　enlarge　our　experience。

Tell　me　every　detail　of　what　happens　to　you；　especially　in　the　first
few　days；　with　that　strange　animal　called　a　husband。　I　promise　to　do
the　same　for　you　if　ever　I　am　loved。

Farewell；　poor　martyred　darling。



XI

MME。　DE　L'ESTORADE　TO　MLLE。　DE　CHAULIEU
La　Crampade。

Your　Spaniard　and　you　make　me　shudder；　my　darling。　I　write　this　line
to　beg　of　you　to　dismiss　him。　All　that　you　say　of　him　corresponds　with
the　character　of　those　dangerous　adventurers　who；　having　nothing　to
lose；　will　take　any　risk。　This　man　cannot　be　your　husband；　and　must
not　be　your　lover。　I　will　write　to　you　more　fully　about　the　inner
history　of　my　married　life　when　my　heart　is　free　from　the　anxiety　your
last　letter　has　roused　in　it。



XII

MLLE。　DE　CHAULIEU　TO　MME。　DE　L'ESTORADE
February。

At　nine　o'clock　this　morning；　sweetheart；　my　father　was　announced　in
my　rooms。　I　was　up　and　dressed。　I　found　him　solemnly　seated　beside　the
fire　in　the　drawing…room；　looking　more　thoughtful　than　usual。　He
pointed　to　the　armchair　opposite　to　him。　Divining　his　meaning；　I　sank
into　it　with　a　gravity；　which　so　well　aped　his；　that　he　could　not
refrain　from　smiling；　though　the　smile　was　dashed　with　melancholy。

〃You　are　quite　a　match　for　your　grandmother　in　quick…wittedness；〃　he
said。

〃Come；　father；　don't　play　the　courtier　here；〃　I　replied；　〃you　want
something　from　me。〃

He　rose；　visibly　agitated；　and　talked　to　me　for　half　an　hour。　This
conversation；　dear；　really　ought　to　be　preserved。　As　soon　as　he　had
gone；　I　sat　down　to　my　table　and　tried　to　recall　his　words。　This　is
the　first　time　that　I　have　seen　my　father　revealing　his　inner
thoughts。

He　began　by　flattering　me；　and　he　did　not　do　it　badly。　I　was　bound　to
be　grateful　to　him　for　having　understood　and　appreciated　me。

〃Armande；〃　he　said；　〃I　was　quite　mistaken　in　you；　and　you　have
agreeably　surprised　me。　When　you　arrived　from　the　convent；　I　took　you
for　an　average　young　girl；　ignorant　and　not　particularly　intelligent；
easily　to　be　bought　off　with　gewgaws　and　ornaments；　and　with　little
turn　for　reflection。〃

〃You　are　complimentary　to　young　girls；　father。〃

〃Oh！　there　is　no　such　thing　as　youth　nowadays；〃　he　said；　with　the　air
of　a　diplomat。　〃Your　mind　is　amazingly　open。　You　take　everything　at
its　proper　worth；　your　clear…sightedness　is　extraordinary；　there　is　no
hoodwinking　you。　You　pass　for　being　blind；　and　all　the　time　you　have
laid　your　hand　on　causes；　while　other　people　are　still　puzzling　over
effects。　In　short；　you　are　a　minister　in　petticoats；　the　only　person
here　capable　of　understanding　me。　It　follows；　then；　that　if　I　have　any
sacrifice　to　ask　from　you；　it　is　only　to　yourself　I　can　turn　for　help
in　persuading　you。

〃I　am　therefore　going　to　explain　to　you；　quite　frankly；　my　former
plans；　to　which　I　still　adhere。　In　order　to　recommend　them　to　you；　I
must　show　that　they　are　connected　with　feelings　of　a　very　high　order；
and　I　shall　thus　be　obliged　to　enter　into　political　questions　of　the
greatest　importance　to　the　kingdom；　which　might　be　wearisome　to　any
one　less　intelligent　than　you　are。　When　you　have　heard　me；　I　hope　you
will　take　time　for　consideration；　six　months　if　necessary。　You　are
entirely　your　own　mistress；　and　if　you　decline　to　make　the　sacrifice　I
ask；　I　shall　bow　to　your　decision　and　trouble　you　no　further。〃

This　preface；　my　sweetheart；　made　me　really　serious；　and　I　said：

〃Speak；　father。〃

Here；　then；　is　the　deliverance　of　the　statesman：

〃My　child；　France　is　in　a　very　critical　position；　which　is　understood
only　by　the　King　and　a　few　superior　minds。　But　the　King　is　a　head
without　arms；　the　great　nobles；　who　are　in　the　secret　of　the　danger；
have　no　authority　over　the　men　whose　co…operation　is　needful　in　order
to　bring　about　a　happy　result。　These　men；　cast　up　by　popular　election；
refuse　to　lend　themselves　as　instruments。　Even　the　able　men　among　them
carry　on　the　work　of　pulling　down　society；　instead　of　helping　us　to
strengthen　the　edifice。

〃In　a　word；　there　are　only　two　partiesthe　party　of　Marius　and　the
party　of　Sulla。　I　am　for　Sulla　against　Marius。　This；　roughly　speaking；
is　our　position。　To　go　more　into　details：　the　Revolution　is　still
active；　it　is　embedded　in　the　law　and　written　on　the　soil；　it　fills
people's　minds。　The　danger　is　all　the　greater　because　the　greater
number　of　the　King's　counselors；　seeing　it　destitute　of　armed　forces
and　of　money；　believe　it　completely　vanquished。　The　King　is　an　able
man；　and　not　easily　blinded；　but　from　day　to　day　he　is　won　over　by　his
brother's　partisans；