notes from the underground-第8章

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of　man　since　he　is　a　being　endowed　with　strange　qualities？　

Shower　upon　him　every　earthly　blessing；　drown　him　in　a　sea　of

happiness；　so　that　nothing　but　bubbles　of　bliss　can　be　seen　on

the　surface；　give　him　economic　prosperity；　such　that　he　should

have　nothing　else　to　do　but　sleep；　eat　cakes　and　busy　himself

with　the　continuation　of　his　species；　and　even　then　out　of　sheer

ingratitude；　sheer　spite；　man　would　play　you　some　nasty　trick。　

He　would　even　risk　his　cakes　and　would　deliberately　desire　the

most　fatal　rubbish；　the　most　uneconomical　absurdity；　simply　to

introduce　into　all　this　positive　good　sense　his　fatal　fantastic

element。　It　is　just　his　fantastic　dreams；　his　vulgar　folly　that

he　will　desire　to　retain；　simply　in　order　to　prove　to　himselfas

though　that　were　so　necessarythat　men　still　are　men　and　not　the

keys　of　a　piano；　which　the　laws　of　nature　threaten　to　control　so

completely　that　soon　one　will　be　able　to　desire　nothing　but　by

the　calendar。　　And　that　is　not　all：　even　if　man　really　were

nothing　but　a　piano…key；　even　if　this　were　proved　to　him　by

natural　science　and　mathematics；　even　then　he　would　not　become

reasonable；　but　would　purposely　do　something　perverse　out　of

simple　ingratitude；　simply　to　gain　his　point。　　And　if　he　does　not

find　means　he　will　contrive　destruction　and　chaos；　will　contrive

sufferings　of　all　sorts；　only　to　gain　his　point！　　He　will　launch

a　curse　upon　the　world；　and　as　only　man　can　curse　（it　is　his

privilege；　the　primary　distinction　between　him　and　other

animals）；　may　be　by　his　curse　alone　he　will　attain　his

objectthat　is；　convince　himself　that　he　is　a　man　and　not　a

piano…key！　　　If　you　say　that　all　this；　too；　can　be　calculated　and

tabulatedchaos　and　darkness　and　curses；　so　that　the　mere

possibility　of　calculating　it　all　beforehand　would　stop　it　all；

and　reason　would　reassert　itself；　then　man　would　purposely　go　mad

in　order　to　be　rid　of　reason　and　gain　his　point！　　I　believe　in

it；　I　answer　for　it；　for　the　whole　work　of　man　really　seems　to

consist　in　nothing　but　proving　to　himself　every　minute　that　he　is

a　man　and　not　a　piano…key！　　　It　may　be　at　the　cost　of　his　skin；

it　may　be　by　cannibalism！　　And　this　being　so；　can　one　help　being

tempted　to　rejoice　that　it　has　not　yet　come　off；　and　that　desire

still　depends　on　something　we　don't　know？



You　will　scream　at　me　（that　is；　if　you　condescend　to　do　so）　that

no　one　is　touching　my　free　will；　that　all　they　are　concerned　with

is　that　my　will　should　of　itself；　of　its　own　free　will；　coincide

with　my　own　normal　interests；　with　the　laws　of　nature　and

arithmetic。



Good　heavens；　gentlemen；　what　sort　of　free　will　is　left　when　we

come　to　tabulation　and　arithmetic；　when　it　will　all　be　a　case　of

twice　two　make　four？　　Twice　two　makes　four　without　my　will。　　As

if　free　will　meant　that！

　



IX



Gentlemen；　I　am　joking；　and　I　know　myself　that　my　jokes　are　not

brilliant；but　you　know　one　can　take　everything　as　a　joke。　　I　am；

perhaps；　jesting　against　the　grain。　　Gentlemen；　I　am　tormented　by

questions；　answer　them　for　me。　　You；　for　instance；　want　to　cure

men　of　their　old　habits　and　reform　their　will　in　accordance　with

science　and　good　sense。　　But　how　do　you　know；　not　only　that　it　is

possible；　but　also　that　it　is　_desirable_　to　reform　man　in　that

way？　　And　what　leads　you　to　the　conclusion　that　man's

inclinations　_need_　reforming？　　In　short；　how　do　you　know　that

such　a　reformation　will　be　a　benefit　to　man？　　And　to　go　to　the

root　of　the　matter；　why　are　you　so　positively　convinced　that　not

to　act　against　his　real　normal　interests　guaranteed　by　the

conclusions　of　reason　and　arithmetic　is　certainly　always

advantageous　for　man　and　must　always　be　a　law　for　mankind？　　So

far；　you　know；　this　is　only　your　supposition。　　It　may　be　the　law

of　logic；　but　not　the　law　of　humanity。　　You　think；　gentlemen；

perhaps　that　I　am　mad？　　Allow　me　to　defend　myself。　　I　agree　that

man　is　pre…eminently　a　creative　animal；　predestined　to　strive

consciously　for　an　object　and　to　engage　in　engineeringthat　is；

incessantly　and　eternally　to　make　new　roads；　_wherever　they　may

lead_。　　But　the　reason　why　he　wants　sometimes　to　go　off　at　a

tangent　may　just　be　that　he　is　_predestined_　to　make　the　road；

and　perhaps；　too；　that　however　stupid　the　〃direct〃　practical　man

may　be；　the　thought　sometimes　will　occur　to　him　that　the　road

almost　always　does　lead　_somewhere_；　and　that　the　destination　it

leads　to　is　less　important　than　the　process　of　making　it；　and

that　the　chief　thing　is　to　save　the　well…conducted　child　from

despising　engineering；　and　so　giving　way　to　the　fatal　idleness；

which；　as　we　all　know；　is　the　mother　of　all　the　vices。　　Man　likes

to　make　roads　and　to　create；　that　is　a　fact　beyond　dispute。　　But

why　has　he　such　a　passionate　love　for　destruction　and　chaos　also？　

Tell　me　that！　　But　on　that　point　I　want　to　say　a　couple　of　words

myself。　　May　it　not　be　that　he　loves　chaos　and　destruction　（there

can　be　no　disputing　that　he　does　sometimes　love　it）　because　he　is

instinctively　afraid　of　attaining　his　object　and　completing　the

edifice　he　is　constructing？　　Who　knows；　perhaps　he　only　loves

that　edifice　from　a　distance；　and　is　by　no　means　in　love　with　it

at　close　quarters；　perhaps　he　only　loves　building　it　and　does　not

want　to　live　in　it；　but　will　leave　it；　when　completed；　for　the

use　of　les　animaux　domestiquessuch　as　the　ants；　the　sheep；　and

so　on。　　Now　the　ants　have　quite　a　different　taste。　　They　have　a

marvellous　edifice　of　that　pattern　which　endures　for　everthe

ant…heap。



With　the　ant…heap　the　respectable　race　of　ants　began　and　with　the

ant…heap　they　will　probably　end；　which　does　the　greatest　credit

to　their　perseverance　and　good　sense。　　But　man　is　a　frivolous　and

incongruous　creature；　and　perhaps；　like　a　chess　player；　loves　the

process　of　the　game；　not　the　end　of　it。　　And　who　knows　（there　is

no　saying　with　certainty）；　perhaps　the　only　goal　on　earth　to

which　mankind　is　striving　lies　in　this　incessant　process　of

attaining；　in　other　words；　in　life　itself；　and　not　in　the　thing

to　be　attained；　which　must　always　be　expressed　as　a　formula；　as

positive　as　twice　two　makes　four；　and　such　positiveness　is　not

life；　gentlemen；　but　is　the　beginning　of　death。　　Anyway；　man　has

always　been　afraid　of　this　mathematical　certainty；　and　I　am

afraid　of　it　now。　　Granted　that　man　does　nothing　but　seek　that

mathematical　certainty；　he　traverses　oceans；　sacrifices　his　life

in　the　quest；　but　to　succeed；　really　to　find　it；　dreads；　I　assure

you。　　He　feels　that　when　he　has　found　it　there　will　be　nothing

for　him　to　look　for。　　When　workmen　have　finished　their　work　they

do　at　least　receive　their　pay；　they　go　to　the　tavern；　then　they

are　taken　to　the　police…stationand　there　is　occupation　for　a

week。　　But　where　can　man　go？　　Anyway；　one　can　observe　a　certain

awkwardness　about　him　when　he　has　attained　such　objects。　　He

loves　the　process　of　attaining；　but　does　not　quite　like　to　have

attained；　and　that；　of　course；　is　very　absurd。　　In　fact；　man　is　a

comical　creature；　there　seems　to　be　a　kind　of　jest　in　it　all。　

But　yet　mathematical　certainty　is　after　all；　something

insufferable。　　Twice　two　makes　four　seems　to　me　simply　a　piece　of

insolence。　　Twice　two　makes　four　is　a　pert　coxcomb　who　stands

with　arms　akimbo　barring　your　path　and　spitting。　　I　admit　that

twice　two　makes　four　is　an　excellent　thing；　but　if　we　are　to　give

everything　its　due；　twice　two　makes　five　is　sometimes　a　very

charming　thing　too。



And　why　are　you　so　firmly；　so　triumphantly；　convinced　that　only

the　normal　and　the　positivein　other　words；　only　what　is

conducive　to　welfareis　for　the　advantage　of　man？　　Is　not　reason

in　error　as　regards　advantage？　　Does　not　man；　perhaps；　love

something　besides　well…being？　　Perhaps　he　is　just　as　fond　of

suffering？　　Perhaps　suffering　is　just　as　great　a　benefit　to　him

as　well…being？　　Man　is　sometimes　extraordinarily；　passionately；

in　love　with　suffering；　and　that　is　a　fact。　　There　is　no