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memories and portraits-第26章

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from others; remain quite natural; and these; when at length they 

meet with a companion of experience; and have the game explained to 

them; distinguish themselves by the severity of their devotion to 

its rules。  I wish I were allowed to tell a story which would 

radiantly illuminate the point; but men; like dogs; have an 

elaborate and mysterious etiquette。  It is their bond of sympathy 

that both are the children of convention。



The person; man or dog; who has a conscience is eternally condemned 

to some degree of humbug; the sense of the law in their members 

fatally precipitates either towards a frozen and affected bearing。  

And the converse is true; and in the elaborate and conscious 

manners of the dog; moral opinions and the love of the ideal stand 

confessed。  To follow for ten minutes in the street some 

swaggering; canine cavalier; is to receive a lesson in dramatic art 

and the cultured conduct of the body; in every act and gesture you 

see him true to a refined conception; and the dullest cur; 

beholding him; pricks up his ear and proceeds to imitate and parody 

that charming ease。  For to be a high…mannered and high…minded 

gentleman; careless; affable; and gay; is the inborn pretension of 

the dog。  The large dog; so much lazier; so much more weighed upon 

with matter; so majestic in repose; so beautiful in effort; is born 

with the dramatic means to wholly represent the part。  And it is 

more pathetic and perhaps more instructive to consider the small 

dog in his conscientious and imperfect efforts to outdo Sir Philip 

Sidney。  For the ideal of the dog is feudal and religious; the 

ever…present polytheism; the whip…bearing Olympus of mankind; rules 

them on the one hand; on the other; their singular difference of 

size and strength among themselves effectually prevents the 

appearance of the democratic notion。  Or we might more exactly 

compare their society to the curious spectacle presented by a 

school … ushers; monitors; and big and little boys … qualified by 

one circumstance; the introduction of the other sex。  In each; we 

should observe a somewhat similar tension of manner; and somewhat 

similar points of honour。  In each the larger animal keeps a 

contemptuous good humour; in each the smaller annoys him with wasp…

like impudence; certain of practical immunity; in each we shall 

find a double life producing double characters; and an excursive 

and noisy heroism combined with a fair amount of practical 

timidity。  I have known dogs; and I have known school heroes that; 

set aside the fur; could hardly have been told apart; and if we 

desire to understand the chivalry of old; we must turn to the 

school playfields or the dungheap where the dogs are trooping。



Woman; with the dog; has been long enfranchised。  Incessant 

massacre of female innocents has changed the proportions of the 

sexes and perverted their relations。  Thus; when we regard the 

manners of the dog; we see a romantic and monogamous animal; once 

perhaps as delicate as the cat; at war with impossible conditions。  

Man has much to answer for; and the part he plays is yet more 

damnable and parlous than Corin's in the eyes of Touchstone。  But 

his intervention has at least created an imperial situation for the 

rare surviving ladies。  In that society they reign without a rival: 

conscious queens; and in the only instance of a canine wife…beater 

that has ever fallen under my notice; the criminal was somewhat 

excused by the circumstances of his story。  He is a little; very 

alert; well…bred; intelligent Skye; as black as a hat; with a wet 

bramble for a nose and two cairngorms for eyes。  To the human 

observer; he is decidedly well…looking; but to the ladies of his 

race he seems abhorrent。  A thorough elaborate gentleman; of the 

plume and sword…knot order; he was born with a nice sense of 

gallantry to women。  He took at their hands the most outrageous 

treatment; I have heard him bleating like a sheep; I have seen him 

streaming blood; and his ear tattered like a regimental banner; and 

yet he would scorn to make reprisals。  Nay more; when a human lady 

upraised the contumelious whip against the very dame who had been 

so cruelly misusing him; my little great…heart gave but one hoarse 

cry and fell upon the tyrant tooth and nail。  This is the tale of a 

soul's tragedy。  After three years of unavailing chivalry; he 

suddenly; in one hour; threw off the yoke of obligation; had he 

been Shakespeare he would then have written TROILUS AND CRESSIDA to 

brand the offending sex; but being only a little dog; he began to 

bite them。  The surprise of the ladies whom he attacked indicated 

the monstrosity of his offence; but he had fairly beaten off his 

better angel; fairly committed moral suicide; for almost in the 

same hour; throwing aside the last rags of decency; he proceeded to 

attack the aged also。  The fact is worth remark; showing; as it 

does; that ethical laws are common both to dogs and men; and that 

with both a single deliberate violation of the conscience loosens 

all。  〃But while the lamp holds on to burn;〃 says the paraphrase; 

〃the greatest sinner may return。〃  I have been cheered to see 

symptoms of effectual penitence in my sweet ruffian; and by the 

handling that he accepted uncomplainingly the other day from an 

indignant fair one; I begin to hope the period of STURM UND DRANG 

is closed。



All these little gentlemen are subtle casuists。  The duty to the 

female dog is plain; but where competing duties rise; down they 

will sit and study them out; like Jesuit confessors。  I knew 

another little Skye; somewhat plain in manner and appearance; but a 

creature compact of amiability and solid wisdom。  His family going 

abroad for a winter; he was received for that period by an uncle in 

the same city。  The winter over; his own family home again; and his 

own house (of which he was very proud) reopened; he found himself 

in a dilemma between two conflicting duties of loyalty and 

gratitude。  His old friends were not to be neglected; but it seemed 

hardly decent to desert the new。  This was how he solved the 

problem。  Every morning; as soon as the door was opened; of posted 

Coolin to his uncle's; visited the children in the nursery; saluted 

the whole family; and was back at home in time for breakfast and 

his bit of fish。  Nor was this done without a sacrifice on his 

part; sharply felt; for he had to forego the particular honour and 

jewel of his day … his morning's walk with my father。  And; perhaps 

from this cause; he gradually wearied of and relaxed the practice; 

and at length returned entirely to his ancient habits。  But the 

same decision served him in another and more distressing case of 

divided duty; which happened not long after。  He was not at all a 

kitchen dog; but the cook had nursed him with unusual kindness 

during the distemper; and though he did not adore her as he adored 

my father … although (born snob) he was critically conscious of her 

position as 〃only a servant〃 … he still cherished for her a special 

gratitude。  Well; the cook left; and retired some streets away to 

lodgings of her own; and there was Coolin in precisely the same 

situation with any young gentleman who has had the inestimable 

benefit of a faithful nurse。  The canine conscience did not solve 

the problem with a pound of tea at Christmas。  No longer content to 

pay a flying visit; it was the whole forenoon that he dedicated to 

his solitary friend。  And so; day by day; he continued to comfort 

her solitude until (for some reason which I could never understand 

and cannot approve) he was kept locked up to break him of the 

graceful habit。  Here; it is not the similarity; it is the 

difference; that is worthy of remark; the clearly marked degrees of 

gratitude and the proportional duration of his visits。  Anything 

further removed from instinct it were hard to fancy; and one is 

ev

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