boyhood-第14章

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d　and　unbearable　fellow；〃　as　he　called　Basil。　One　effect　of　the　obstacle　had　been　to　make　the　otherwise　slightly　cool　and　indifferent　Basil　fall　as　passionately　in　love　with　Masha　as　it　is　possible　for　a　man　to　be　who　is　only　a　servant　and　a　tailor；　wears　a　red　shirt；　and　has　his　hair　pomaded。　Although　his　methods　of　expressing　his　affection　were　odd　（for　instance；　whenever　he　met　Masha　he　always　endeavoured　to　inflict　upon　her　some　bodily　pain；　either　by　pinching　her；　giving　her　a　slap　with　his　open　hand；　or　squeezing　her　so　hard　that　she　could　scarcely　breathe）；　that　affection　was　sincere　enough；　and　he　proved　it　by　the　fact　that；　from　the　moment　when　Nicola　refused　him　his　niece's　hand；　his　grief　led　him　to　drinking；　and　to　frequenting　taverns；　until　he　proved　so　unruly　that　more　than　once　he　had　to　be　sent　to　undergo　a　humiliating　chastisement　at　the　police…station。

Nevertheless；　these　faults　of　his　and　their　consequences　only　served　to　elevate　him　in　Masha's　eyes；　and　to　increase　her　love　for　him。　Whenever　he　was　in　the　hands　of　the　police；　she　would　sit　crying　the　whole　day；　and　complain　to　Gasha　of　her　hard　fate　（Gasha　played　an　active　part　in　the　affairs　of　these　unfortunate　lovers）。　Then；　regardless　of　her　uncle's　anger　and　blows；　she　would　stealthily　make　her　way　to　the　police…station；　there　to　visit　and　console　her　swain。

Excuse　me；　reader；　for　introducing　you　to　such　company。　Nevertheless；　if　the　cords　of　love　and　compassion　have　not　wholly　snapped　in　your　soul；　you　will　find；　even　in　that　maidservants'　room；　something　which　may　cause　them　to　vibrate　again。

So；　whether　you　please　to　follow　me　or　not；　I　will　return　to　the　alcove　on　the　staircase　whence　I　was　able　to　observe　all　that　passed　in　that　room。　From　my　post　I　could　see　the　stove…couch；　with；　upon　it；　an　iron；　an　old　cap…stand　with　its　peg　bent　crooked；　a　wash…tub；　and　a　basin。　There；　too；　was　the　window；　with；　in　fine　disorder　before　it；　a　piece　of　black　wax；　some　fragments　of　silk；　a　half…eaten　cucumber；　a　box　of　sweets；　and　so　on。　There；　too；　was　the　large　table　at　which　SHE　used　to　sit　in　the　pink　cotton　dress　which　I　admired　so　much　and　the　blue　handkerchief　which　always　caught　my　attention　so。　She　would　be　sewing…though　interrupting　her　work　at　intervals　to　scratch　her　head　a　little；　to　bite　the　end　of　her　thread；　or　to　snuff　the　candleand　I　would　think　to　myself：　〃Why　was　she　not　born　a　ladyshe　with　her　blue　eyes；　beautiful　fair　hair；　and　magnificent　bust？　How　splendid　she　would　look　if　she　were　sitting　in　a　drawing…room　and　dressed　in　a　cap　with　pink　ribbons　and　a　silk　gownnot　one　like　Mimi's；　but　one　like　the　gown　which　I　saw　the　other　day　on　the　Tverski　Boulevard！〃　Yes；　she　would　work　at　the　embroidery…frame；　and　I　would　sit　and　look　at　her　in　the　mirror；　and　be　ready　to　do　whatsoever　she　wantedto　help　her　on　with　her　mantle　or　to　hand　her　food。　As　for　Basil's　drunken　face　and　horrid　figure　in　the　scanty　coat　with　the　red　shirt　showing　beneath　it；　well；　in　his　every　gesture；　in　his　every　movement　of　his　back；　I　seemed　always　to　see　signs　of　the　humiliating　chastisements　which　he　had　undergone。

〃Ah；　Basil！　AGAIN？〃　cried　Masha　on　one　occasion　as　she　stuck　her　needle　into　the　pincushion；　but　without　looking　up　at　the　person　who　was　entering。

〃What　is　the　good　of　a　man　like　HIM？〃　was　Basil's　first　remark。

〃Yes。　If　only　he　would　say　something　DECISIVE！　But　I　am　powerless　in　the　matterI　am　all　at　odds　and　ends；　and　through　his　fault；　too。〃

〃Will　you　have　some　tea？〃　put　in　Madesha　（another　servant）。

〃No；　thank　you。But　why　does　he　hate　me　so；　that　old　thief　of　an　uncle　of　yours？　Why？　Is　it　because　of　the　clothes　I　wear；　or　of　my　height；　or　of　my　walk；　or　what？　Well；　damn　and　confound　him！〃　finished　Basil；　snapping　his　fingers。

〃We　must　be　patient；〃　said　Masha；　threading　her　needle。

〃You　are　so〃

〃It　is　my　nerves　that　won't　stand　it；　that's　all。〃

At　this　moment　the　door　of　Grandmamma's　room　banged；　and　Gasha's　angry　voice　could　be　heard　as　she　came　up　the　stairs。

〃There！〃　she　muttered　with　a　gesture　of　her　hands。　〃Try　to　please　people　when　even　they　themselves　do　not　know　what　they　want；　and　it　is　a　cursed　lifesheer　hard　labour；　and　nothing　else！　If　only　a　certain　thing　would　happen！though　God　forgive　me　for　thinking　it！〃

〃Good　evening；　Agatha　Michaelovna；〃　said　Basil；　rising　to　greet　her。

〃You　here？〃　she　answered　brusquely　as　she　stared　at　him；　〃That　is　not　very　much　to　your　credit。　What　do　you　come　here　for？　Is　the　maids'　room　a　proper　place　for　men？〃

〃I　wanted　to　see　how　you　were；〃　said　Basil　soothingly。

〃I　shall　soon　be　breathing　my　lastTHAT'S　how　I　am！〃　cried　Gasha；　still　greatly　incensed。

Basil　laughed。

〃Oh；　there's　nothing　to　laugh　at　when　I　say　that　I　shall　soon　be　dead。　But　that's　how　it　will　be；　all　the　same。　Just　look　at　the　drunkard！　Marry　her；　would　he？　The　fool！　Come；　get　out　of　here！〃　and；　with　a　stamp　of　her　foot　on　the　floor；　Gasha　retreated　to　her　own　room；　and　banged　the　door　behind　her　until　the　window　rattled　again。　For　a　while　she　could　be　heard　scolding　at　everything；　flinging　dresses　and　other　things　about；　and　pulling　the　ears　of　her　favourite　cat。　Then　the　door　opened　again；　and　puss；　mewing　pitifully；　was　flung　forth　by　the　tail。

〃I　had　better　come　another　time　for　tea；〃　said　Basil　in　a　whisper〃at　some　better　time　for　our　meeting。〃

〃No；　no！〃　put　in　Madesha。　〃I'll　go　and　fetch　the　urn　at　once。〃

〃I　mean　to　put　an　end　to　things　soon；〃　went　on　Basil；　seating　himself　beside　Masha　as　soon　as　ever　Madesha　had　left　the　room。　〃I　had　much　better　go　straight　to　the　Countess；　and　say　'so…and…　so'　or　I　will　throw　up　my　situation　and　go　off　into　the　world。　Oh　dear；　oh　dear！〃

〃And　am　I　to　remain　here？〃

〃Ah；　there's　the　difficultythat's　what　I　feel　so　badly　about；　You　have　been　my　sweetheart　so　long；　you　see。　Ah；　dear　me！〃

〃Why　don't　you　bring　me　your　shirts　to　wash；　Basil？〃　asked　Masha　after　a　pause；　during　which　she　had　been　inspecting　his　wrist…　bands。

At　this　moment　Grandmamma's　bell　rang；　and　Gasha　issued　from　her　room　again；

〃What　do　you　want　with　her；　you　impudent　fellow？〃　she　cried　as　she　pushed　Basil　（who　had　risen　at　her　entrance）　before　her　towards　the　door。　〃First　you　lead　a　girl　on；　and　then　you　want　to　lead　her　further　still。　I　suppose　it　amuses　you　to　see　her　tears。　There's　the　door；　now。　Off　you　go！　We　want　your　room；　not　your　company。　And　what　good　can　you　see　in　him？〃　she　went　on；　turning　to　Masha。　〃Has　not　your　uncle　been　walking　into　you　to…day　already？　No；　she　must　stick　to　her　promise；　forsooth！　'I　will　have　no　one　but　Basil；'　Fool　that　you　are！〃

〃Yes；　I　WILL　have　no　one　but　him！　I'll　never　love　any　one　else！　I　could　kill　myself　for　him！〃　poor　Masha　burst　out；　the　tears　suddenly　gushing　forth。

For　a　while　I　stood　watching　her　as　she　wiped　away　those　tears。　Then　I　fell　to　contemplating　Basil　attentively；　in　the　hope　of　finding　out　what　there　was　in　him　that　she　found　so　attractive；　yet；　though　I　sympathised　with　her　sincerely　in　her　grief；　I　could　not　for　the　life　of　me　understand　how　such　a　charming　creature　as　I　considered　her　to　be　could　love　a　man　like　him。

〃When　I　become　a　man；〃　I　thought　to　myself　as　I　returned　to　my　room；　〃Petrovskoe　shall　be　mine；　and　Basil　and　Masha　my　servants。　Some　day；　when　I　am　sitting　in　my　study　and　smoking　a　pipe；　Masha　will　chance　to　pass　the　door　on　her　way　to　the　kitchen　with　an　iron；　and　I　shall　say；　'Masha；　come　here；'　and　she　will　enter；　and　there　will　be　no　one　else　in　the　room。　Then　suddenly　Basil　too　will　enter；　and；　on　seeing　her；　will　cry；　'My　sweetheart　is　lost　to　me！'　and　Masha　will　begin　to　weep；　Then　I　shall　say；　'Basil；　I　know　that　you　love　her；　and　that　she　loves　you。　Here　are　a　thousand　roubles　for　you。　Marry　her；　and　may　God　grant　you　both　happiness！'　Then　I　shall　leave　them　together。〃

Among　the　countless　thoughts　and　fancies　which　pass；　without　logic　or　sequence；　through　the　mind　and　the　imagination；　there　are　always　some　which　leave　behind　them　a　mark　so　profound　that；　without　remembering　their　exact　subject；　we　can　at　least　recall　that　something　good　has　passed　through　our　brain；　and　try　to　retain　and　reproduce　its　effect。　Such　was　the　mark　left　upon　my　consciousness　by　the　idea　of　sacrifi