a simpleton-第7章
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you be good enough to put your hands to my waist； as I did to the
patient's。〃
Mr。 Lusignan complied； and the patient began to titter directly； to
put them out of countenance。
〃Please observe what takes place when I draw a full breath。
〃Now apply the same test to the patient。 Breathe your best；
please； Miss Lusignan。〃
The patient put on a face full of saucy mutiny。
〃To oblige us both。〃
〃Oh； how tiresome！〃
〃I am aware it is rather laborious；〃 said Staines； a little dryly；
〃but to oblige your father！〃
〃Oh； anything to oblige papa；〃 said she； spitefully。 〃There！ And
I do hope it will be the lastla！ no； I don't hope that； neither。〃
Dr。 Staines politely ignored her little attempts to interrupt the
argument。 〃You found； sir； that the muscles of my waist； and my
intercostal ribs themselves； rose and fell with each inhalation and
exhalation of air by the lungs。〃
〃I did； but my daughter's waist was like dead wood； and so were her
lower ribs。〃
At this volunteer statement； Rosa colored to her temples。 〃Thanks；
papa！ Pack me off to London； and sell me for a big doll！〃
〃In other words；〃 said the lecturer； mild and pertinacious； 〃with
us the lungs have room to blow； and the whole bony frame expands
elastic with them； like the woodwork of a blacksmith's bellows； but
with this patient； and many of her sex； that noble and divinely
framed bellows is crippled and confined by a powerful machine of
human construction； so it works lamely and feebly： consequently too
little air； and of course too little oxygen； passes through that
spongy organ whose very life is air。 Now mark the special result
in this case： being otherwise healthy and vigorous； our patient's
system sends into the lungs more blood than that one crippled organ
can deal with； a small quantity becomes extravasated at odd times；
it accumulates； and would become dangerous； then Nature；
strengthened by sleep； and by some hours' relief from the
diabolical engine； makes an effort and flings it off： that is why
the hemorrhage comes in the morning； and why she is the better for
it； feeling neither faint nor sick； but relieved of a weight。
This； sir； is the rationale of the complaint； and it is to you I
must look for the cure。 To judge from my other female patients；
and from the few words Miss Lusignan has let fall； I fear we must
not count on any very hearty co…operation from her： but you are her
father； and have great authority； I conjure you to use it to the
full； as you once used itto my sorrowin this very room。 I am
forgetting my character。 I was asked here only as her physician。
Good…evening。〃
He gave a little gulp； and hurried away； with an abruptness that
touched the father and offended the sapient daughter。
However； Mr。 Lusignan followed him； and stopped him before he left
the house； and thanked him warmly； and to his surprise； begged him
to call again in a day or two。
〃Well； Rosa； what do you say？〃
〃I say that I am very unfortunate in my doctors。 Mr。 Wyman is a
chatterbox and knows nothing。 Dr。 Snell is Mr。 Wyman's echo。
Christopher is a genius； and they are always full of crotchets。 A
pretty doctor！ Gone away； and not prescribed for me！〃
Mr。 Lusignan admitted it was odd。 〃But； after all；〃 said he； 〃if
medicine does you no good？〃
〃Ah！ but any medicine HE had prescribed would have done me good；
and that makes it all the unkinder。〃
〃If you think so highly of his skill； why not take his advice？ It
can do no harm。〃
〃No harm？ Why； if I was to leave them off I should catch a
dreadful cold； and that would be sure to settle on my chest； and
carry me off； in my present delicate state。 Besides； it is so
unfeminine not to wear them。〃
This staggered Mr。 Lusignan； and he was afraid to press the point；
but what Staines had said fermented in his mind。
Dr。 Snell and Mr。 Wyman continued their visits and their
prescriptions。
The patient got a little worse。
Mr。 Lusignan hoped Christopher would call again； but he did not。
When Dr。 Staines had satisfied himself that the disorder was easily
curable； then wounded pride found an entrance even into his loving
heart。 That two strangers should have been consulted before him！
He was only sent for because they could not cure her。
As he seemed in no hurry to repeat his visit； Mr。 Lusignan called
on him； and said； politely； he had hoped to receive another call
ere this。 〃Personally；〃 said he； 〃I was much struck with your
observations； but my daughter is afraid she will catch cold if she
leaves off her corset； and that； you know； might be very serious。〃
Dr。 Staines groaned； and； when he had groaned； he lectured。
〃Female patients are wonderfully monotonous in this matter； they
have a programme of evasions； and whether the patient is a lady or
a housemaid； she seldom varies from that programme。 You find her
breathing life's air with half a bellows； and you tell her so。
'Oh； no；' says she； and does the gigantic feat of contraction we
witnessed that evening at your house。 But； on inquiry； you learn
there is a raw red line ploughed in her flesh by the cruel stays。
'What is that？' you ask； and flatter yourself you have pinned her。
Not a bit。 'That was the last pair。 I changed them； because they
hurt me。' Driven out of that by proofs of recent laceration； they
say； 'If I leave them off I should catch my death of cold；' which
is equivalent to saying there is no flannel in the shops； no common
sense nor needles at home。〃
He then laid before him some large French plates； showing the
organs of the human trunk； and bade him observe in how small a
space； and with what skill； the Creator has packed so many large
yet delicate organs； so that they should be free and secure from
friction； though so close to each other。 He showed him the liver；
an organ weighing four pounds； and of large circumference； the
lungs； a very large organ； suspended in the chest and impatient of
pressure； the heart； the stomach； the spleen； all of them too
closely and artfully packed to bear any further compression。
Having thus taken him by the eye； he took him by the mind。
〃Is it a small thing for the creature to say to her Creator； 'I can
pack all this egg…china better than you can；' and thereupon to jam
all those vital organs close； by a powerful； a very powerful and
ingenious machine？ Is it a small thing for that sex； which； for
good reasons； the Omniscient has made larger in the waist than the
male； to say to her Creator； 'You don't know your business； women
ought to be smaller in the waist than men； and shall be throughout
the civilized world'？〃
In short； he delivered so many true and pointed things on this
trite subject； that the old gentleman was convinced； and begged him
to come over that very evening and convince Rosa。
Dr。 Staines shook his head dolefully； and all his fire died out of
him at having to face the fair。 〃Reason will be wasted。 Authority
is the only weapon。 My profession and my reading have both taught
me that the whole character of her sex undergoes a change the
moment a man interferes with their dress。 From Chaucer's day to
our own； neither public satire nor private remonstrance has ever
shaken any of their monstrous fashions。 Easy； obliging； pliable；
and weaker of will than men in other things； do but touch their
dress； however objectionable； and rock is not harder； iron is not
more stubborn； than these soft and yielding creatures。 It is no
earthly use my comingI'll come。〃
He came that very evening； and saw directly she was worse。 〃Of
course；〃 said he； sadly； 〃you have not taken my advice。〃
Rosa replied with a toss and an evasion； 〃I was not worth a
prescription！〃
〃A physician can prescribe without sending his patient to the
druggist； and when he does； then it is his words are gold。〃
Rosa shook her head with an air of lofty incredulity。
He looked ruefully at Mr。 Lusignan and was silent。 Rosa smiled
sarcastically； she thought he was at his wit's end。
Not quite： he was cudgelling his brains in search of some horribly
unscientific argument； that might prevail； for he felt science
would fall dead upon so fair an antagonist。 At last his eye
kindled；
