a simpleton-第48章
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The signalman was at his post； and had fixed his eye on the man
overboard； as his duty was； but his mess…mate was in the stove
boat； and he had cast one anxious look down to see if he was saved；
and； sad to relate； in that one moment he had lost sight of
Staines； the sudden darknessthere was no twilightconfused him
more； and the ship had increased her drift。
Fitzroy； however； made a rapid calculation； and pulled to windward
with all his might。 He was followed in about a minute by the other
sound boat powerfully manned； and both boats melted away into the
night。
There was a long and anxious suspense； during which it became pitch
dark； and the ship burned blue lights to mark her position more
plainly to the crews that were groping the sea for that beloved
passenger。
Captain Hamilton had no doubt that the fate of Staines was decided；
one way or other； long before this； but he kept quiet until he saw
the plain signs of a squall at hand。 Then； as he was responsible
for the safety of boats and ship； he sent up rockets to recall
them。
The cutter came alongside first。 Lights were poured on her； and
quavering voices asked； 〃Have you got him？〃
The answer was dead silence； and sorrowful； drooping heads。
Sadly and reluctantly was the order given to hoist the boat in。
Then the gig came alongside。 Fitzroy seated in her； with his hands
before his face； the men gloomy and sad。
〃GONE！ GONE！〃
Soon the ship was battling a heavy squall。
At midnight all quiet again； and hove to。 Then； at the request of
many； the bell was tolled； and the ship's company mustered
bareheaded； and many a stout seaman in tears； as the last service
was read for Christopher Staines。
CHAPTER XIV。
Rosa fell ill with grief at the hotel； and could not move for some
days； but the moment she was strong enough； she insisted on leaving
Plymouth： like all wounded things； she must drag herself home。
But what a home！ How empty it struck； and she heart…sick and
desolate。 Now all the familiar places wore a new aspect： the
little yard； where he had so walked and waited； became a temple to
her； and she came out and sat in it； and now first felt to the full
how much he had suffered therewith what fortitude。 She crept
about the house； and kissed the chair he had sat in； and every
much…used place and thing of the departed。
Her shallow nature deepened and deepened under this bereavement； of
which； she said to herself； with a shudder； she was the cause。 And
this is the course of nature； there is nothing like suffering to
enlighten the giddy brain； widen the narrow mind； improve the
trivial heart。
As her regrets were tender and deep； so her vows of repentance were
sincere。 Oh； what a wife she would make when he came back！ how
thoughtful！ how prudent！ how loyal！ and never have a secret。 She
who had once said； 〃What is the use of your writing？ nobody will
publish it；〃 now collected and perused every written scrap。 With
simple affection she even locked up his very waste…paper basket；
full of fragments he had torn； or useless papers he had thrown
there； before he went to Plymouth。
In the drawer of his writing…table she found his diary。 It was a
thick quarto： it began with their marriage； and ended with his
leaving homefor then he took another volume。 This diary became
her Bible； she studied it daily； till her tears hid his lines。 The
entries were very miscellaneous； very exact； it was a map of their
married life。 But what she studied most was his observations on
her own character； so scientific； yet so kindly； and his scholar…
like and wise reflections。 The book was an unconscious picture of
a great mind she had hitherto but glanced at： now she saw it all
plain before her； saw it； understood it； adored it； mourned it。
Such women are shallow； not for want of a head upon their
shoulders； but of ATTENTION。 They do not really study anything：
they have been taught at their schools the bad art of skimming； but
let their hearts compel their brains to think and think； the result
is considerable。 The deepest philosopher never fathomed a
character more thoroughly than this poor child fathomed her
philosopher； when she had read his journal ten or eleven times； and
bedewed it with a thousand tears。
One passage almost cut her more intelligent heart in twain：
〃This dark day I have done a thing incredible。 I have spoken with
brutal harshness to the innocent creature I have sworn to protect。
She had run in debt； through inexperience； and that unhappy
timidity which makes women conceal an error till it ramifies； by
concealment； into a fault； and I must storm and rave at her； till
she actually fainted away。 Brute！ Ruffian！ Monster！ And she；
how did she punish me； poor lamb？ By soft and tender wordslike a
lady； as she is。 Oh； my sweet Rosa； I wish you could know how you
are avenged。 Talk of the scourgethe cat！ I would be thankful
for two dozen lashes。 Ah！ there is no need； I think； to punish a
man who has been cruel to a woman。 Let him alone。 He will punish
himself more than you can； if he is really a man。〃
From the date of that entry； this self…reproach and self…torture
kept cropping up every now and then in the diary； and it appeared
to have been not entirely without its influence in sending Staines
to sea； though the main reason he gave was that his Rosa might have
the comforts and luxuries she had enjoyed before she married him。
One day； while she was crying over this diary； Uncle Philip called；
but not to comfort her； I promise you。 He burst on her； irate； to
take her to task。 He had returned； learned Christopher's
departure； and settled the reason in his own mind： that uxorious
fool was gone to sea by a natural reaction； his eyes were open to
his wife at last； and he was sick of her folly； so he had fled to
distant climes； as who would not； that could？
〃SO； ma'am；〃 said he； 〃my nephew is gone to sea； I findall in a
hurry。 Pray may I ask what he has done that for？〃
It was a very simple question； yet it did not elicit a very plain
answer。 She only stared at this abrupt inquisitor； and then cried；
piteously； 〃Oh； Uncle Philip！〃 and burst out sobbing。
〃Why； what is the matter？〃
〃You WILL hate me now。 He is gone to make money for ME； and I
would rather have lived on a crust。 Uncledon't hate me。 I'm a
poor； bereaved； heart…broken creature； that repents。〃
〃Repents！ heigho！ why； what have you been up to now； ma'am？ No
great harm； I'll be bound。 Flirting a little with some FOOLeh？〃
〃Flirting！ Me！ a married woman。〃
〃Oh； to be sure； I forgot。 Why； surely he has not deserted you。〃
〃My Christopher desert me！ He loves me too well； far more than I
deserve； but not more than I will。 Uncle Philip； I am too confused
and wretched to tell you all that has happened； but I know you love
him； though you had a tiff： uncle； he called on you； to shake hands
and ask your forgiveness； poor fellow！ He was so sorry you were
away。 Please read his dear diary： it will tell you all； better
than his poor foolish wife can。 I know it by heart。 I'll show you
where you and he quarrelled about me。 There； see。〃 And she showed
him the passage with her finger。 〃He never told me it was that； or
I would have come and begged your pardon on my knees。 But see how
sorry he was。 There； see。 And now I'll show you another place；
where my Christopher speaks of your many； many acts of kindness。
There； see。 And now please let me show you how he longed for
reconciliation。 There； see。 And it is the same through the book。
And now I'll show you how grieved he was to go without your
blessing。 I told him I was sure you would give him that； and him
going away。 Ah； me！ will he ever return？ Uncle dear； don't hate
me。 What shall I do； now he is gone； if you disown me？ Why； you
are the only Staines left me to love。〃
〃Disown you； ma'am！ that I'll never do。 You are a good…hearted
young woman； I find。 There； run and dry your eyes； and let me read
Christopher's diary all through。 Then I shall see how the land
lies。〃
Rosa complied with his proposal； and left him alone while she
bathed her eyes； and tried to compose herself；
