a simpleton-第30章
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no women in silk dresses or crinoline； or creaking shoes； must
enter the room。 He told her the nurse was evidently a clumsy
woman； and would be letting things fall。 She had better get some
old soldier used to nursing。 〃And don't whisper in the room；〃 said
he； 〃nothing irritates them worse； and don't let anybody play a
piano within hearing； but in a day or two you may try him with slow
and continuous music on the flute or violin if you like。 Don't
touch his bed suddenly； don't sit on it or lean on it。 Dole
sunlight into his room by degrees； and when he can bear it； drench
him with it。 Never mind what the old school tell you。 About these
things they know a good deal less than nothing。〃
Lady Cicely received all this like an oracle。
The cure was telegraphed to Dr。 Barr； and he was requested to
settle the fee。 He was not the man to undersell the profession；
and was jealous of nobody； having a large practice； and a very
wealthy wife。 So he telegraphed back〃Fifty guineas； and a guinea
a mile from London。〃
So； as Christopher Staines sat at an early breakfast； with the
carriage waiting to take him to the train； two notes were brought
him on a salver。
They were both directed by Lady Cicely Treherne。 One of them
contained a few kind and feeling words of gratitude and esteem； the
other； a check； drawn by the earl's steward； for one hundred and
thirty guineas。
He bowled up to London； and told it all to Rosa。 She sparkled with
pride； affection； and joy。
〃Now； who says you are not a genius？〃 she cried。 〃A hundred and
thirty guineas for one fee！ Now； if you love your wife as she
loves youyou will set up a brougham。〃
CHAPTER VIII。
Doctor Staines begged leave to distinguish； he had not said he
would set up a carriage at the first one hundred guinea fee； but
only that he would not set up one before。 There are misguided
people who would call this logic： but Rosa said it was
equivocating； and urged him so warmly that at last he burst out；
〃Who can go on forever saying 'No；' to the only creature he
loves？〃and caved。 In forty…eight hours more a brougham waited at
Mrs。 Staines's door。 The servant engaged to drive it was Andrew
Pearman； a bachelor； and； hitherto； an under…groom。 He readily
consented to be coachman； and to do certain domestic work as well。
So Mrs。 Staines had a man…servant as well as a carriage。
Ere long； three or four patients called； or wrote； one after the
other。 These Rosa set down to brougham； and crowed； she even
crowed to Lady Cicely Treherne； to whose influence； and not to
brougham's； every one of these patients was owing。 Lady Cicely
kissed her； and demurely enjoyed the poor soul's self…satisfaction。
Staines himself； while he drove to or from these patients； felt
more sanguine； and buoyed as he was by the consciousness of
ability； began to hope he had turned the corner。
He sent an account of Lord Ayscough's case to a medical magazine：
and so full is the world of flunkeyism； that this article； though
he withheld the name； retaining only the title； got the literary
wedge in for him at once： and in due course he became a paid
contributor to two medical organs； and used to study and write
more； and indent the little stone yard less than heretofore。
It was about this time circumstances made him acquainted with
Phoebe Dale。 Her intermediate history I will dispose of in fewer
words than it deserves。 Her ruin； Mr。 Reginald Falcon； was
dismissed from his club； for marking high cards on the back with
his nail。 This stopped his remaining resourceborrowing： so he
got more and more out at elbows； till at last he came down to
hanging about billiard…rooms； and making a little money by
concealing his game； from that； however； he rose to be a marker。
Having culminated to that； he wrote and proposed marriage to Miss
Dale； in a charming letter： she showed it to her father with pride。
Now； if his vanity； his disloyalty； his falsehood； his ingratitude；
and his other virtues had not stood in the way； he would have done
this three years ago； and been jumped at。
But the offer came too late； not for Phoebeshe would have taken
him in a momentbut for her friends。 A baited hook is one thing；
a bare hook is another。 Farmer Dale had long discovered where
Phoebe's money went： he said not a word to her； but went up to town
like a shot； found Falcon out； and told him he mustn't think to eat
his daughter's bread。 She should marry a man that could make a
decent livelihood； and if she was to run away with HIM； why they'd
starve together。 The farmer was resolute； and spoke very loud；
like one that expects opposition； and comes prepared to quarrel。
Instead of that； this artful rogue addressed him with deep respect
and an affected veneration； that quite puzzled the old man；
acquiesced in every word； expressed contrition for his past
misdeeds； and told the farmer he had quite determined to labor with
his hands。 〃You know； farmer；〃 said he； 〃I am not the only
gentleman who has come to that in the present day。 Now； all my
friends that have seen my sketches； assure me I am a born painter；
and a painter I'll befor love of Phoebe。〃
The farmer made a wry face。 〃Painter！ that is a sorry sort of a
trade。〃
〃You are mistaken。 It's the best trade going。 There are gentlemen
making their thousands a year by it。〃
〃Not in our parts； there bain't。 Stop a bit。 What be ye going to
paint； sir？ Housen； or folk？〃
〃Oh； hang it； not houses。 Figures； landscapes。〃
〃Well； ye might just make shift to live at it； I suppose； with here
and there a signboard。 They are the best paid； our way： but； Lord
bless ye； THEY wants headpiece。 Well； sir； let me see your work。
Then we'll talk further。〃
〃I'll go to work this afternoon；〃 said Falcon eagerly； then with
affected surprise； 〃Bless me； I forgot。 I have no palette； no
canvas； no colors。 You couldn't lend me a couple of sovereigns to
buy them； could you？〃
〃Ay； sir； I could。 But I woan't。 I'll lend ye the things； though；
if you have a mind to go with me and buy 'em。〃
Falcon agreed； with a lofty smile； and the purchases were made。
Mr。 Falcon painted a landscape or two out of his imagination。 The
dealers to whom he took them declined them； one advised the
gentleman painter to color tea…boards。 〃That's your line；〃 said
he。
〃The world has no taste；〃 said the gentleman painter： 〃but it has
got lots of vanity： I'll paint portraits。〃
He did； and formidable ones： his portraits were amazingly like the
people； and yet unlike men and women； especially about the face。
One thing； he didn't trouble with lights and shades； but went slap
at the features。
His brush would never have kept him； but he carried an instrument；
in the use of which he was really an artist； viz。； his tongue。 By
wheedling and undersellingfor he only charged a pound for the
painted canvashe contrived to live； then he aspired to dress as
well as live。 With this second object in view； he hit upon a
characteristic expedient。
He used to prowl about； and when he saw a young woman sweeping the
afternoon streets with a long silk train； and； in short； dressed to
ride in the park； yet parading the streets； he would take his hat
off to her； with an air of profound respect； and ask permission to
take her portrait。 Generally he met a prompt rebuff； but if the
fair was so unlucky as to hesitate a single moment； he told her a
melting tale； he had once driven his four…in…hand； but by indorsing
his friends' bills； was reduced to painting likeness； admirable
likenesses in oil； only a guinea each。
His piteous tale provoked more gibes than pity； but as he had no
shame； the rebuffs went for nothing： he actually did get a few
sitters by his audacity： and some of the sitters actually took the
pictures； and paid for them； others declined them with fury as soon
as they were finished。 These he took back with a piteous sigh；
that sometimes extracted half a crown。 Then he painted over the
rejected one and let it dry； so that sometimes a paid portrait
would present a beauty enthroned on the debris of two or three
rivals； and that is where few beauties would object to sit。
All this time
