in the carquinez woods-第3章
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Then she looked down at her torn dress。 〃I suppose this style of
thing ain't very fancy； is it？〃 she said； with a forced laugh。
〃I think I know where to beg or borrow a change for you； if you
can't get any；〃 he replied simply。
She stared at him again。 〃Are you a family man？〃
〃No。〃
She was silent for a moment。 〃Well；〃 she said； 〃you can tell
your girl I'm not particular about its being in the latest
fashion。〃
There was a slight flush on his forehead as he turned toward the
little cupboard； but no tremor in his voice as he went on：
〃You'll find tea and coffee here； and； if you're bored； there's a
book or two。 You read； don't youI mean English？〃
She nodded； but cast a look of undisguised contempt upon the two
worn； coverless novels he held out to her。 〃You haven't got last
week's 'Sacramento Union；' have you？ I hear they have my case
all in； only them lying reporters made it out against me all the
time。〃
〃I don't see the papers；〃 he replied curtly。
〃They say there's a picture of me in the 'Police Gazette；' taken
in the act；〃 and she laughed。
He looked a little abstracted； and turned as if to go。 〃I think
you'll do well to rest a while just now； and keep as close hid as
possible until afternoon。 The trail is a mile away at the
nearest point； but some one might miss it and stray over here。
You're quite safe if you're careful； and stand by the tree。 You
can build a fire here；〃 he stepped under the chimney…like
opening； 〃without its being noticed。 Even the smoke is lost and
cannot be seen so high。〃
The light from above was falling on his head and shoulders； as it
had on hers。 She looked at him intently。
〃You travel a good deal on your figure； pardner； don't you？〃 she
said； with a certain admiration that was quite sexless in its
quality； 〃but I don't see how you pick up a living by it in the
Carquinez Woods。 So you're going； are you？ You might be more
sociable。 Good…by。〃
〃Good…by！〃 He leaped from the opening。
〃I say pardner！〃
He turned a little impatiently。 She had knelt down at the
entrance； so as to be nearer his level； and was holding out her
hand。 But he did not notice it； and she quietly withdrew it。
〃If anybody dropped in and asked for you； what name will they say？〃
He smiled。 〃Don't wait to hear。〃
〃But suppose I wanted to sing out for you； what will I call you？〃
He hesitated。 〃Call meLo。〃
〃Lo； the poor Indian？〃*
〃Exactly。〃
* The first word of Pope's familiar apostrophe is humorously used
in the Far West as a distinguishing title for the Indian。
It suddenly occurred to the woman； Teresa； that in the young
man's height； supple； yet erect carriage； color； and singular
gravity of demeanor there was a refined； aboriginal suggestion。
He did not look like any Indian she had ever seen； but rather as
a youthful chief might have looked。 There was a further
suggestion in his fringed buckskin shirt and moccasins； but
before she could utter the half…sarcastic comment that rose to
her lips he had glided noiselessly away； even as an Indian might
have done。
She readjusted the slips of hanging bark with feminine ingenuity；
dispersing them so as to completely hide the entrance。 Yet this
did not darken the chamber； which seemed to draw a purer and more
vigorous light through the soaring shaft that pierced the roof
than that which came from the dim woodland aisles below。
Nevertheless； she shivered； and drawing her shawl closely around
her began to collect some half…burnt fragments of wood in the
chimney to make a fire。 But the preoccupation of her thoughts
rendered this a tedious process； as she would from time to time
stop in the middle of an action and fall into an attitude of rapt
abstraction； with far…off eyes and rigid mouth。 When she had at
last succeeded in kindling a fire and raising a film of pale blue
smoke； that seemed to fade and dissipate entirely before it
reached the top of the chimney shaft； she crouched beside it；
fixed her eyes on the darkest corner of the cavern； and became
motionless。
What did she see through that shadow？
Nothing at first but a confused medley of figures and incidents
of the preceding night； things to be put away and forgotten；
things that would not have happened but for another thingthe
thing before which everything faded！ A ball…room； the sounds of
music； the one man she had cared for insulting her with the
flaunting ostentation of his unfaithfulness； herself despised；
put aside； laughed at； or worse； jilted。 And then the moment of
delirium； when the light danced； the one wild act that lifted
her； the despised one； above them allmade her the supreme
figure； to be glanced at by frightened women； stared at by half…
startled； half…admiring men！ 〃Yes；〃 she laughed； but struck by
the sound of her own voice； moved twice round the cavern
nervously； and then dropped again into her old position。
As they carried him away he had laughed at herlike a hound that
he was； he who had praised her for her spirit； and incited her
revenge against others； he who had taught her to strike when she
was insulted； and it was only fit he should reap what he had
sown。 She was what he； what other men； had made her。 And what
was she now？ What had she been once？
She tried to recall her childhood： the man and woman who might
have been her father and mother； who fought and wrangled over her
precocious little life； abused or caressed her as she sided with
either； and then left her with a circus troupe； where she first
tasted the power of her courage； her beauty； and her
recklessness。 She remembered those flashes of triumph that left
a fever in her veinsa fever that when it failed must be
stimulated by dissipation； by anything； by everything that would
keep her name a wonder in men's mouths； an envious fear to women。
She recalled her transfer to the strolling players； her cheap
pleasures； and cheaper rivalries and hatredbut always Teresa！
the daring Teresa！ the reckless Teresa！ audacious as a woman；
invincible as a boy； dancing； flirting； fencing； shooting；
swearing； drinking； smoking； fighting Teresa！ 〃Oh； yes； she had
been loved； perhapswho knows？but always feared。 Why should
she change now？ Ha； he should see。〃
She had lashed herself in a frenzy； as was her wont； with
gestures； ejaculations； oaths； adjurations； and passionate
apostrophes； but with this strange and unexpected result。
Heretofore she had always been sustained and kept up by an
audience of some kind or quality； if only perhaps a humble
companion； there had always been some one she could fascinate or
horrify； and she could read her power mirrored in their eyes。
Even the half…abstracted indifference of her strange host had
been something。 But she was alone now。 Her words fell on
apathetic solitude； she was acting to viewless space。 She rushed
to the opening； dashed the hanging bark aside； and leaped to the
ground。
She ran forward wildly a few steps； and stopped。
〃Hallo！〃 she cried。 〃Look； 'tis I； Teresa！〃
The profound silence remained unbroken。 Her shrillest tones were
lost in an echoless space； even as the smoke of her fire had
faded into pure ether。 She stretched out her clenched fists as
if to defy the pillared austerities of the vaults around her。
〃Come and take me if you dare！〃
The challenge was unheeded。 If she had thrown herself violently
against the nearest tree…trunk； she could not have been stricken
more breathless than she was by the compact； embattled solitude
that encompassed her。 The hopelessness of impressing these cold
and passive vaults with her selfish passion filled her with a
vague fear。 In her rage of the previous night she had not seen
the wood in its profound immobility。 Left alone with the majesty
of those enormous columns； she trembled and turned faint。 The
silence of the hollow tree she had just quitted seemed to her
less awful than the crushing presence of these mute and monstrous
witnesses of her weakness。 Like a wounded quail with lowered
crest and trailing wing； she crept back to her hiding place。
Even then the influence of the wood was still upon her。 She
picked up the novel she had contemptuously throw
