the life of charlotte bronte-1-第32章

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　not　met　with　any　part　of　that　correspondence。

On　December　29th；　her　letter　to　Southey　was　despatched；　and　from　an　excitement　not　unnatural　in　a　girl　who　has　worked　herself　up　to　the　pitch　of　writing　to　a　Poet　Laureate　and　asking　his　opinion　of　her　poems；　she　used　some　high…flown　expressions　which；　probably；　gave　him　the　idea　that　she　was　a　romantic　young　lady；　unacquainted　with　the　realities　of　life。

This；　most　likely；　was　the　first　of　those　adventurous　letters　that　passed　through　the　little　post…office　of　Haworth。　　Morning　after　morning　of　the　holidays　slipped　away；　and　there　was　no　answer；　the　sisters　had　to　leave　home；　and　Emily　to　return　to　her　distasteful　duties；　without　knowing　even　whether　Charlotte's　letter　had　ever　reached　its　destination。

Not　dispirited；　however；　by　the　delay；　Branwell　determined　to　try　a　similar　venture；　and　addressed　the　following　letter　to　Wordsworth。　　It　was　given　by　the　poet　to　Mr。　Quillinan　in　1850；　after　the　name　of　Bronte　had　become　known　and　famous。　　I　have　no　means　of　ascertaining　what　answer　was　returned　by　Mr。　Wordsworth；　but　that　he　considered　the　letter　remarkable　may；　I　think；　be　inferred　both　from　its　preservation；　and　its　recurrence　to　his　memory　when　the　real　name　of　Currer　Bell　was　made　known　to　the　public。


〃Haworth；　near　Bradford；　〃Yorkshire；　January　19；　1837。

〃Sir；I　most　earnestly　entreat　you　to　read　and　pass　your　judgment　upon　what　I　have　sent　you；　because　from　the　day　of　my　birth　to　this　the　nineteenth　year　of　my　life；　I　have　lived　among　secluded　hills；　where　I　could　neither　know　what　I　was；　or　what　I　could　do。　I　read　for　the　same　reason　that　I　ate　or　drank；　because　it　was　a　real　craving　of　nature。　　I　wrote　on　the　same　principle　as　I　spoke…　…out　of　the　impulse　and　feelings　of　the　mind；　nor　could　I　help　it；　for　what　came；　came　out；　and　there　was　the　end　of　it。　　For　as　to　self…conceit；　that　could　not　receive　food　from　flattery；　since　to　this　hour；　not　half　a　dozen　people　in　the　world　know　that　I　have　ever　penned　a　line。

〃But　a　change　has　taken　place　now；　sir：　　and　I　am　arrived　at　an　age　wherein　I　must　do　something　for　myself：　　the　powers　I　possess　must　be　exercised　to　a　definite　end；　and　as　I　don't　know　them　myself　I　must　ask　of　others　what　they　are　worth。　　Yet　there　is　not　one　here　to　tell　me；　and　still；　if　they　are　worthless；　time　will　henceforth　be　too　precious　to　be　wasted　on　them。

〃Do　pardon　me；　sir；　that　I　have　ventured　to　come　before　one　whose　works　I　have　most　loved　in　our　literature；　and　who　most　has　been　with　me　a　divinity　of　the　mind；　laying　before　him　one　of　my　writings；　and　asking　of　him　a　judgment　of　its　contents。　　I　must　come　before　some　one　from　whose　sentence　there　is　no　appeal；　and　such　a　one　is　he　who　has　developed　the　theory　of　poetry　as　well　as　its　practice；　and　both　in　such　a　way　as　to　claim　a　place　in　the　memory　of　a　thousand　years　to　come。

〃My　aim；　sir；　is　to　push　out　into　the　open　world；　and　for　this　I　trust　not　poetry　alonethat　might　launch　the　vessel；　but　could　not　bear　her　on；　sensible　and　scientific　prose；　bold　and　vigorous　efforts　in　my　walk　in　life；　would　give　a　farther　title　to　the　notice　of　the　world；　and　then　again　poetry　ought　to　brighten　and　crown　that　name　with　glory；　but　nothing　of　all　this　can　be　ever　begun　without　means；　and　as　I　don't　possess　these；　I　must　in　every　shape　strive　to　gain　them。　　Surely；　in　this　day；　when　there　is　not　a　WRITING　poet　worth　a　sixpence；　the　field　must　be　open；　if　a　better　man　can　step　forward。

〃What　I　send　you　is　the　Prefatory　Scene　of　a　much　longer　subject；　in　which　I　have　striven　to　develop　strong　passions　and　weak　principles　struggling　with　a　high　imagination　and　acute　feelings；　till；　as　youth　hardens　towards　age；　evil　deeds　and　short　enjoyments　end　in　mental　misery　and　bodily　ruin。　　Now；　to　send　you　the　whole　of　this　would　be　a　mock　upon　your　patience；　what　you　see；　does　not　even　pretend　to　be　more　than　the　description　of　an　imaginative　child。　　But　read　it；　sir；　and；　as　you　would　hold　a　light　to　one　in　utter　darknessas　you　value　your　own　kindheartednessRETURN　me　an　ANSWER；　if　but　one　word；　telling　me　whether　I　should　write　on；　or　write　no　more。　　Forgive　undue　warmth；　because　my　feelings　in　this　matter　cannot　be　cool；　and　believe　me；　sir；　with　deep　respect；

〃Your　really　humble　servant；　〃P。　B。　Bronte〃


The　poetry　enclosed　seems　to　me　by　no　means　equal　to　parts　of　the　letter；　but；　as　every　one　likes　to　judge　for　himself；　I　copy　the　six　opening　stanzasabout　a　third　of　the　whole；　and　certainly　not　the　worst。


So　where　he　reigns　in　glory　bright；　Above　those　starry　skies　of　night；　Amid　his　Paradise　of　light　Oh；　why　may　I　not　be？

Oft　when　awake　on　Christmas　morn；　In　sleepless　twilight　laid　forlorn；　Strange　thoughts　have　o'er　my　mind　been　borne；　How　he　has　died　for　me。

And　oft　within　my　chamber　lying；　Have　I　awaked　myself　with　crying　From　dreams；　where　I　beheld　Him　dying　Upon　the　accursed　Tree。

And　often　has　my　mother　said；　While　on　her　lap　I　laid　my　head；　She　feared　for　time　I　was　not　made；　But　for　Eternity。

So　〃I　can　read　my　title　clear；　To　mansions　in　the　skies；　And　let　me　bid　farewell　to　fear；　And　wipe　my　weeping　eyes。〃

I'll　lay　me　down　on　this　marble　stone；　And　set　the　world　aside；　To　see　upon　her　ebon　throne　The　Moon　in　glory　ride。


Soon　after　Charlotte　returned　to　Dewsbury　Moor；　she　was　distressed　by　hearing　that　her　friend　〃E。〃　was　likely　to　leave　the　neighbourhood　for　a　considerable　length　of　time。


〃Feb。　20th。

〃What　shall　I　do　without　you？　　How　long　are　we　likely　to　be　separated？　　Why　are　we　to　be　denied　each　other's　society？　　It　is　an　inscrutable　fatality。　　I　long　to　be　with　you；　because　it　seems　as　if　two　or　three　days；　or　weeks；　spent　in　your　company　would　beyond　measure　strengthen　me　in　the　enjoyment　of　those　feelings　which　I　have　so　lately　begun　to　cherish。　　You　first　pointed　out　to　me　that　way　in　which　I　am　so　feebly　endeavouring　to　travel；　and　now　I　cannot　keep　you　by　my　side；　I　must　proceed　sorrowfully　alone。　　Why　are　we　to　be　divided？　　Surely；　it　must　be　because　we　are　in　danger　of　loving　each　other　too　wellof　losing　sight　of　the　CREATOR　in　idolatry　of　the　CREATURE。　　At　first；　I　could　not　say　'Thy　will　be　done！'　　I　felt　rebellious；　but　I　knew　it　was　wrong　to　feel　so。　　Being　left　a　moment　alone　this　morning；　I　prayed　fervently　to　be　enabled　to　resign　myself　to　EVERY　decree　of　God's　will；　though　it　should　be　dealt　forth　by　a　far　severer　hand　than　the　present　disappointment；　since　then　I　have　felt　calmer　and　humbler；　and　consequently　happier。　　Last　Sunday　I　took　up　my　Bible　in　a　gloomy　state　of　mind：　　I　began　to　reada　feeling　stole　over　me　such　as　I　have　not　known　for　many　long　yearsa　sweet；　placid　sensation；　like　those；　I　remember；　which　used　to　visit　me　when　I　was　a　little　child；　and；　on　Sunday　evenings　in　summer；　stood　by　the　open　window　reading　the　life　of　a　certain　French　nobleman；　who　attained　a　purer　and　higher　degree　of　sanctity　than　has　been　known　since　the　days　of　the　early　martyrs。〃


〃E。's〃　residence　was　equally　within　a　walk　from　Dewsbury　Moor　as　it　had　been　from　Roe　Head；　and　on　Saturday　afternoons　both　〃Mary〃　and　she　used　to　call　upon　Charlotte；　and　often　endeavoured　to　persuade　her　to　return　with　them；　and　be　the　guest　of　one　of　them　till　Monday　morning；　but　this　was　comparatively　seldom。　　Mary　says：…　〃She　visited　us　twice　or　thrice　when　she　was　at　Miss　W…'s。　We　used　to　dispute　about　politics　and　religion。　　She；　a　Tory　and　clergyman's　daughter；　was　always　in　a　minority　of　one　in　our　house　of　violent　Dissent　and　Radicalism。　　She　used　to　hear　over　again；　delivered　WITH　AUTHORITY；　all　the　lectures　I　had　been　used　to　give　her　at　school　on　despotic　aristocracy；　mercenary　priesthood；　&c。　She　had　not　energy　to　defend　herself；　sometimes　she　owned　to　a　LITTLE　truth　in　it；　but　generally　said　nothing。　　Her　feeble　health　gave　her　her　yielding　manner；　for　she　could　never　oppose　any　one　without　gathering　up　all　her　strength　for　the　struggle。　　Thus　she　would　let　me　advise　and　patronise　most　imperiously；　sometimes　picking　out　any　grain　of　sense　there　might　be　in　what　I　said；　but　never　allowing　any　one　materially　to　interfere　with　her　independence　of　thought　and　action。　　Though　her　silence　sometimes　left　one　under　the　impression　that　she　agre