the sorrows of young werther(少年维特的烦恼)-第25章

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you　have　confined　yourself　too　long　within　the　limits　of　too　narrow
a　circle。　　Conquer　yourself；　make　an　effort：　a　short　journey　will
be　of　service　to　you。　　Seek　and　find　an　object　worthy　of　your　love；
then　return　hither；　and　let　us　enjoy　together　all　the　happiness　of
the　most　perfect　friendship。〃

〃This　speech；〃　replied　Werther　with　a　cold　smile；　〃this　speech
should　be　printed；　for　the　benefit　of　all　teachers。　　My　dear
Charlotte；　allow　me　but　a　short　time　longer；　and　all　will　be　well。〃
〃But　however；　Werther；〃　she　added；　〃do　not　come　again　before
Christmas。〃　　He　was　about　to　make　some　answer；　when　Albert　came　in。
They　saluted　each　other　coldly；　and　with　mutual　embarrassment　paced
up　and　down　the　room。　　Werther　made　some　common　remarks；　Albert
did　the　same；　and　their　conversation　soon　dropped。　　Albert　asked
his　wife　about　some　household　matters；　and；　finding　that　his
commissions　were　not　executed；　he　used　some　expressions　which；　to
Werther's　ear；　savoured　of　extreme　harshness。　　He　wished　to　go；
but　had　not　power　to　move；　and　in　this　situation　he　remained　till
eight　o'clock；　his　uneasiness　and　discontent　continually　increasing。
At　length　the　cloth　was　laid　for　supper；　and　he　took　up　his　hat
and　stick。　　Albert　invited　him　to　remain；　but　Werther；　fancying
that　he　was　merely　paying　a　formal　compliment；　thanked　him　coldly；
amd　left　the　house。

Werther　returned　home；　took　the　candle　from　his　servant；　and　retired
to　his　room　alone。　　He　talked　for　some　time　with　great　earnestness
to　himself；　wept　aloud；　walked　in　a　state　of　great　excitement
through　his　chamber；　till　at　length；　without　undressing；　he　threw
himself　on　the　bed；　where　he　was　found　by　his　servant　at　eleven
o'clock；　when　the　latter　ventured　to　enter　the　room；　and　take　off
his　boots。　　Werther　did　not　prevent　him；　but　forbade　him　to　come　in
the　morning　till　he　should　ring。

On　Monday　morning；　the　21st　of　December；　he　wrote　to　Charlotte　the
following　letter；　which　was　found；　sealed；　on　his　bureau　after　his
death；　and　was　given　to　her。　　I　shall　insert　it　in　fragments；　as
it　appears；　from　several　circumstances；　to　have　been　written　in
that　manner。

〃It　is　all　over；　Charlotte：　I　am　resolved　to　die！　　I　make　this
declaration　deliberately　and　coolly；　without　any　romantic　passion；
on　this　morning　of　the　day　when　I　am　to　see　you　for　the　last　time。
At　the　moment　you　read　these　lines；　O　best　of　women；　the　cold　grave
will　hold　the　inanimate　remains　of　that　restless　and　unhappy　being
who；　in　the　last　moments　of　his　existence；　knew　no　pleasure　so
great　as　that　of　conversing　with　you！　　I　have　passed　a　dreadful
night　or　rather；　let　me　say；　a　propitious　one；　for　it　has　given
me　resolution；　it　has　fixed　my　purpose。　　I　am　resolved　to　die。
When　I　tore　myself　from　you　yesterday；　my　senses　were　in　tumult
and　disorder；　my　heart　was　oppressed；　hope　and　pleasure　had　fled
from　me　for　ever；　and　a　petrifying　cold　had　seized　my　wretched
being。　　I　could　scarcely　reach　my　room。　　I　threw　myself　on　my　knees；
and　Heaven；　for　the　last　time；　granted　me　the　consolation　of
shedding　tears。　　A　thousand　ideas；　a　thousand　schemes；　arose　within
my　soul；　till　at　length　one　last；　fixed；　final　thought　took
possession　of　my　heart。　　It　was　to　die。　　I　lay　down　to　rest；　and
in　the　morning；　in　the　quiet　hour　of　awakening；　the　same　determination
was　upon　me。　　To　die！　　It　is　not　despair：　it　is　conviction　that　I
have　filled　up　the　measure　of　my　sufferings；　that　I　have　reached
my　appointed　term；　and　must　sacrifice　myself　for　thee。　　Yes；
Charlotte；　why　should　I　not　avow　it？　　One　of　us　three　must　die：
it　shall　be　Werther。　　O　beloved　Charlotte！　this　heart；　excited　by
rage　and　fury；　has　often　conceived　the　horrid　idea　of　murdering
your　husband　　you　　myself！　　The　lot　is　cast　at　length。　　And
in　the　bright；　quiet　evenings　of　summer；　when　you　sometimes　wander
toward　the　mountains；　let　your　thoughts　then　turn　to　me：　recollect
how　often　you　have　watched　me　coming　to　meet　you　from　the　valley；
then　bend　your　eyes　upon　the　churchyard　which　contains　my　grave；
and；　by　the　light　of　the　setting　sun；　mark　how　the　evening　breeze
waves　the　tall　grass　which　grows　above　my　tomb。　　I　was　calm　when
I　began　this　letter；　but　the　recollection　of　these　scenes　makes
me　weep　like　a　child。〃
　
About　ten　in　the　morning；　Werther　called　his　servant；　and；　whilst
he　was　dressing；　told　him　that　in　a　few　days　he　intended　to　set
out　upon　a　journey；　and　bade　him　therefore　lay　his　clothes　in
order；　and　prepare　them　for　packing　up；　call　in　all　his　accounts；
fetch　home　the　books　he　had　lent；　and　give　two　months'　pay　to　the
poor　dependants　who　were　accustomed　to　receive　from　him　a　weekly
allowance。

He　breakfasted　in　his　room；　and　then　mounted　his　horse；　and　went
to　visit　the　steward；　who；　however；　was　not　at　home。　　He　walked
pensively　in　the　garden；　and　seemed　anxious　to　renew　all　the　ideas
that　were　most　painful　to　him。

The　children　did　not　suffer　him　to　remain　alone　long。　　They　followed
him；　skipping　and　dancing　before　him；　and　told　him；　that　after
to…morrow　and　tomorrow　and　one　day　more；　they　were　to　receive　their
Christmas　gift　from　Charlotte；　and　they　then　recounted　all　the
wonders　of　which　they　had　formed　ideas　in　their　child　imaginations。
〃Tomorrow　and　tomorrow；〃　said　he；　〃and　one　day　more！〃　　And　he
kissed　them　tenderly。　　He　was　going；　but　the　younger　boy　stopped
him；　to　whisper　something　in　his　ear。　　He　told　him　that　his　elder
brothers　had　written　splendid　New…Year's　wishes　so　large！　one　for
papa；　and　another　for　Albert　and　Charlotte；　and　one　for　Werther；
and　they　were　to　be　presented　early　in　the　morning；　on　New　Year's
Day。　　This　quite　overcame　him。　　He　made　each　of　the　children　a
present；　mounted　his　horse；　left　his　compliments　for　papa　and
mamma；　and；　with　tears　in　his　eyes；　rode　away　from　the　place。

He　returned　home　about　five　o'clock；　ordered　his　servant　to　keep
up　his　fire；　desired　him　to　pack　his　books　and　linen　at　the　bottom
of　the　trunk；　and　to　place　his　coats　at　the　top。　　He　then　appears
to　have　made　the　following　addition　to　the　letter　addressed　to
Charlotte：

〃You　do　not　expect　me。　　You　think　I　will　obey　you；　and　not　visit
you　again　till　Christmas　Eve。　　O　Charlotte；　today　or　never！　　On
Christmas　Eve　you　will　hold　this　paper　in　your　hand；　you　will
tremble；　and　moisten　it　with　your　tears。　　I　will　　I　must！　　Oh；　how
happy　I　feel　to　be　determined！〃

In　the　meantime；　Charlotte　was　in　a　pitiable　state　of　mind。　　After
her　last　conversation　with　Werther；　she　found　how　painful　to　herself
it　would　be　to　decline　his　visits；　and　knew　how　severely　he　would
suffer　from　their　separation。

She　had；　in　conversation　with　Albert；　mentioned　casually　that　Werther
would　not　return　before　Christmas　Eve；　and　soon　afterward　Albert
went　on　horseback　to　see　a　person　in　the　neighbourhood；　with　whom
he　had　to　transact　some　business　which　would　detain　him　all　night。

Charlotte　was　sitting　alone。　　None　of　her　family　were　near；　and
she　gave　herself　up　to　the　reflections　that　silently　took　possession
of　her　mind。　　She　was　for　ever　united　to　a　husband　whose　love　and
fidelity　she　had　proved；　to　whom　she　was　heartily　devoted；　and　who
seemed　to　be　a　special　gift　from　Heaven　to　ensure　her　happiness。
On　the　other　hand；　Werther　had　become　dear　to　her。　　There　was　a
cordial　unanimity　of　sentiment　between　them　from　the　very　first
hour　of　their　acquaintance；　and　their　long　association　and　repeated
interviews　had　made　an　indelible　impression　upon　her　heart。　　She
had　been　accustomed　to　communicate　to　him　every　thought　and　feeling
which　interested　her；　and　his　absence　threatened　to　open　a　void
in　her　existence　which　it　might　be　impossible　to　fill。　　How　heartily
she　wished　that　she　might　change　him　into　her　brother；　　that　she
could　induce　him　to　marry　one　of　her　own　friends；　or　could　reestablish
his　intimacy　with　Albert。

She　passed　all　her　intimate　friends　in　review　before　her　mind；　but
found　something　objectionable　in　each；　and　could　decide　upon　none
to　whom　she　would　consent　to　give　him。

Amid　all　these　considerations　she　felt　deeply　but　indistinctly
that　her　own　real　but　unexpressed　wish　was　to　retain　him　for　herself；
and　her　pure　and　amiable　heart　felt　from　this