the sorrows of young werther(少年维特的烦恼)-第22章
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before the appointed time！ The world is everywhere the same；
a scene of labour and pain； of pleasure and reward； but what does
it all avail？ I am happy only where thou art； and in thy presence
am I content to suffer or enjoy。〃 And wouldst thou； heavenly Father；
banish such a child from thy presence？
DECEMBER 1。
Wilhelm； the man about whom I wrote to you that man so enviable
in his misfortunes was secretary to Charlotte's father； and an
unhappy passion for her which he cherished； concealed； and at
length discovered； caused him to be dismissed from his situation。
This made him mad。 Think； whilst you peruse this plain narration；
what an impression the circumstance has made upon me！ But it was
related to me by Albert with as much calmness as you will probably
peruse it。
DECEMBER 4。
I implore your attention。 It is all over with me。 I can support
this state no longer。 To…day I was sitting by Charlotte。 She was
playing upon her piano a succession of delightful melodies； with
such intense expression！ Her little sister was dressing her doll
upon my lap。 The tears came into my eyes。 I leaned down； and
looked intently at her wedding…ring： my tears fell immediately
she began to play that favourite； that divine； air which has so
often enchanted me。 I felt comfort from a recollection of the
past； of those bygone days when that air was familiar to me； and
then I recalled all the sorrows and the disappointments which I
had since endured。 I paced with hasty strides through the room；
my heart became convulsed with painful emotions。 At length I
went up to her； and exclaimed With eagerness； 〃For Heaven's sake；
play that air no longer！〃 She stopped； and looked steadfastly at
me。 She then said； with a smile which sunk deep into my heart；
〃Werther； you are ill： your dearest food is distasteful to you。
But go； I entreat you； and endeavour to compose yourself。〃 I
tore myself away。 God； thou seest my torments； and wilt end them！
DECEMBER 6。
How her image haunts me！ Waking or asleep； she fills my entire
soul！ Soon as I close my eyes； here； in my brain； where all the
nerves of vision are concentrated； her dark eyes are imprinted。
Here I do not know how to describe it； but； if I shut my eyes；
hers are immediately before me： dark as an abyss they open upon
me； and absorb my senses。
And what is man that boasted demigod？ Do not his powers fail
when he most requires their use？ And whether he soar in joy； or
sink in sorrow； is not his career in both inevitably arrested？
And； whilst he fondly dreams that he is grasping at infinity；
does he not feel compelled to return to a consciousness of his
cold； monotonous existence？
THE EDITOR TO THE READER。
It is a matter of extreme regret that we want original evidence
of the last remarkable days of our friend； and we are； therefore；
obliged to interrupt the progress of his correspondence； and to
supply the deficiency by a connected narration。
I have felt it my duty to collect accurate information from the
mouths of persons well acquainted with his history。 The story
is simple； and all the accounts agree； except in some unimportant
particulars。 It is true； that； with respect to the characters of
the persons spoken of； opinions and judgments vary。
We have only； then； to relate conscientiously the facts which our
diligent labour has enabled us to collect； to give the letters
of the deceased； and to pay particular attention to the slightest
fragment from his pen； more especially as it is so difficult to
discover the real and correct motives of men who are not of the
common order。
Sorrow and discontent had taken deep root in Werther's soul； and
gradually imparted their character to his whole being。 The harmony
of his mind became completely disturbed； a perpetual excitement
and mental irritation； which weakened his natural powers； produced
the saddest etfects upon him； and rendered him at length the victim
of an exhaustion against which he struggled with still more painful
efforts than he had displayed； even in contending with his other
misfortunes。 His mental anxiety weakened his various good qualities；
and he was soon converted into a gloomy companion； always unhappy
and unjust in his ideas； the more wretched he became。 This was；
at least； the opinion of Albert's friends。 They assert； moreover；
that the character of Albert himself had undergone no change in
the meantime： he was still the same being whom Werther had loved；
honoured； and respected from the commencement。 His love for
Charlotte was unbounded： he was proud of her； and desired that
she should be recognised by every one as the noblest of created
beings。 Was he； however； to blame for wishing to avert from her
every appearance of suspicion？ or for his unwillingness to share
his rich prize with another； even for a moment； and in the most
innocent manner？ It is asserted that Albert frequently retired
from his wife's apartment during Werther's visits； but this did
not arise from hatred or aversion to his friend； but only from a
feeling that his presence was oppressive to Werther。
Charlotte's father； who was confined to the house by indisposition；
was accustomed to send his carriage for her； that she might make
excursions in the neighbourhood。 One day the weather had been
unusually severe； and the whole country was covered with snow。
Werther went for Charlotte the following morning； in order that；
if Albert were absent； he might conduct her home。
The beautiful weather produced but little impression on his troubled
spirit。 A heavy weight lay upon his soul； deep melancholy had
taken possession of him； and his mind knew no change save from one
painful thought to another。
As he now never enjoyed internal peace； the condition of his fellow
creatures was to him a perpetual source of trouble and distress。
He believed he had disturbed the happiness of Albert and his wife；
and； whilst he censured himself strongly for this； he began to
entertain a secret dislike to Albert。
His thoughts were occasionally directed to this point。 〃Yes；〃 he
would repeat to himself； with ill…concealed dissatisfaction； 〃yes；
this is； after all； the extent of that confiding； dear； tender；
and sympathetic love； that calm and eternal fidelity！ What do I
behold but satiety and indifference？ Does not every frivolous
engagement attract him more than his charming and lovely wife？
Does he know how to prize his happiness？ Can he value her as she
deserves？ He possesses her； it is true； I know that； as I know
much more； and I have become accustomed to the thought that he
will drive me mad； or； perhaps； murder me。 Is his friendship
toward me unimpaired？ Does he not view my attachment to Charlotte
as an infringement upon his rights； and consider my attention to
her as a silent rebuke to himself？ I know； and indeed feel； that
he dislikes me； that he wishes for my absence； that my presence
is hateful to him。〃
He would often pause when on his way to visit Charlotte； stand
still； as though in doubt； and seem desirous of returning； but
would nevertheless proceed； and； engaged in such thoughts and
soliloquies as we have described； he finally reached the hunting…lodge；
with a sort of involuntary consent。
Upon one occasion he entered the house； and； inquiring for
Charlotte； he observed that the inmates were in a state of
unusual confusion。 The eldest boy informed him that a dreadful
misfortune had occurred at Walheim； that a peasant had been
murdered！ But this made little impression upon him。 Entering
the apartment； he found Charlotte engaged reasoning with her father；
who； in spite of his infirmity； insisted on going to the scene of
the crime； in order to institute an inquiry。 The criminal was
unknown； the victim had been found dead at his own door that
morning。 Suspicions were excited： the murdered man had been in
the service of a widow； and the person who had previously filled
the situation had been dismissed from her employment。
As soon as Werther heard this； he exclaimed with great excitement；
〃Is it possible！ I must go to the spot I cannot delay a moment！〃
He hastened to Walheim。 Every incident re
