the sorrows of young werther(少年维特的烦恼)-第18章
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
to me as any one could be； and yet I am not at my ease。 There is；
indeed； nothing in common between us。 He is a man of understanding；
but quite of the ordinary kind。 His conversation affords me no
more amusement than I should derive from the perusal of a well…written
book。 I shall remain here a week Ionger； and then start again on
my travels。 My drawings are the best things I have done since I
came here。 The prince has a taste for the arts； and would improve
if his mind were not fettered by cold rules and mere technical
ideas。 I often lose patience； when； with a glowing imagination；
I am giving expression to art and nature； he interferes with learned
suggestions； and uses at random the technical phraseology of artists。
JULY 16。
Once more I am a wanderer； a pilgrim； through the world。 But what
else are you！
JULY 18。
Whither am I going？ I will tell you in confidence。 I am obliged
to continue a fortnight longer here； and then I think it would be
better for me to visit the mines in 。 But I am only deluding
myself thus。 The fact is； I wish to be near Charlotte again； that
is all。 I smile at the suggestions of my heart； and obey its
dictates。
JULY 29。
No； no！ it is yet well all is well！ I her husband！ O God； who
gave me being； if thou hadst destined this happiness for me； my
whole life would have been one continual thanksgiving！ But I will
not murmur forgive these tears； forgive these fruitless wishes。
She my wife！ Oh； the very thought of folding that dearest of
Heaven's creatures in my arms！ Dear Wilhelm； my whole frame feels
convulsed when I see Albert put his arms around her slender waist！
And shall I avow it？ Why should I not； Wilhelm？ She would have
been happier with me than with him。 Albert is not the man to
satisfy the wishes of such a heart。 He wants a certain sensibility；
he wants in short； their hearts do not beat in unison。 How
often； my dear friend； im reading a passage from some interesting
book； when my heart and Charlotte's seemed to meet； and in a hundred
other instances when our sentiments were unfolded by the story of
some fictitious character； have I felt that we were made for each
other！ But； dear Wilhelm； he loves her with his whole soul； and
what does not such a love deserve？
I have been interrupted by an insufferable visit。 I have dried
my tears； and composed my thoughts。 Adieu； my best friend！
AUGUST 4。
I am not alone unfortunate。 All men are disappointed in their
hopes； and deceived in their expectations。 I have paid a visit
to my good old woman under the lime…trees。 The eldest boy ran
out to meet me： his exclamation of joy brought out his mother；
but she had a very melancholy look。 Her first word was； 〃Alas！
dear sir； my little John is dead。〃 He was the youngest of her
children。 I was silent。 〃And my husband has returned from
Switzerland without any money； and； if some kind people had not
assisted him； he must have begged his way home。 He was taken ill
with fever on his journey。〃 I could answer nothing； but made the
little one a present。 She invited me to take some fruit： I complied；
and left the place with a sorrowful heart。
AUGUST 21。
My sensations are constantly changing。 Sometimes a happy prospect
opens before me； but alas！ it is only for a moment； and then； when
I am lost in reverie； I cannot help saying to myself； 〃If Albert
were to die？ Yes； she would become and I should be〃 and
so I pursue a chimera； till it leads me to the edge of a precipice
at which I shudder。
When I pass through the same gate； and walk along the same road
which first conducted me to Charlotte； my heart sinks within me
at the change that has since taken place。 All； all； is altered！
No sentiment； no pulsation of my heart； is the same。 My sensations
are such as would occur to some departed prince whose spirit should
return to visit the superb palace which he had built in happy times；
adorned with costly magnificence； and left to a beloved son； but
whose glory he should find departed； and its halls deserted and
in ruins。
SEPTEMBER 3。
I sometimes cannot understand how she can love another； how she
dares love another； when I love nothing in this world so completely；
so devotedly； as I love her； when I know only her； and have no
other possession。
SEPTEMBER 4。
It is even so！ As nature puts on her autumn tints it becomes
autumn with me and around me。 My leaves are sere and yellow； and
the neighbouring trees are divested of their foliage。 Do you
remember my writing to you about a peasant boy shortly after my
arrival here？ I have just made inquiries about him in Walheim。
They say he has been dismissed from his service； and is now avoided
by every one。 I met him yesterday on the road； going to a
neighbouring village。 I spoke to him； and he told me his story。
It interested me exceedingly； as you will easily understand when
I repeat it to you。 But why should I trouble you？ Why should I
not reserve all my sorrow for myself？ Why should I continue to
give you occasion to pity and blame me？ But no matter： this also
is part of my destiny。
At first the peasant lad answered my inquiries with a sort of
subdued melancholy； which seemed to me the mark of a timid disposition；
but； as we grew to understand each other； he spoke with less reserve；
and openly confessed his faults； and lamented his misfortune。 I
wish； my dear friend； I could give proper expression to his
language。 He told me with a sort of pleasurable recollection；
that； after my departure； his passion for his mistress increased
daily； until at last he neither knew what he did nor what he said；
nor what was to become of him。 He could neither eat nor drink nor
sleep： he felt a sense of suffocation； he disobeyed all orders；
and forgot all commands involuntarily； he seemed as if pursued by
an evil spirit； till one day； knowing that his mistress had gone
to an upper chamber； he had followed； or； rather； been drawn after
her。 As she proved deaf to his entreaties； he had recourse to
violence。 He knows not what happened； but he called God to witness
that his intentions to her were honourable； and that he desired
nothing more sincerely than that they should marry； and pass their
lives together。 When he had come to this point； he began to
hesitate； as if there was something which he had not courage to
utter； till at length he acknowledged with some confusion certain
little confidences she had encouraged； and liberties she had allowed。
He broke off two or three times in his narration； and assured me
most earnestly that he had no wish to make her bad； as he termed
it； for he loved her still as sincerely as ever； that the tale
had never before escaped his lips； and was only now told to convince
me that he was not utterly lost and abandoned。 And here； my dear
friend； I must commence the old song which you know I utter eternally。
If I could only represent the man as he stood； and stands now
before me； could I only give his true expressions； you would feel
compelled to sympathise in his fate。 But enough： you； who know my
misfortune and my disposition； can easily comprehend the attraction
which draws me toward every unfortunate being； but particularly
toward him whose story I have recounted。
On perusing this letter a second time； I find I have omitted the
conclusion of my tale； but it is easily supplied。 She became
reserved toward him； at the instigation of her brother who had
long hated him； and desired his expulsion from the house； fearing
that his sister's second marriage might deprive his children of
the handsome fortune they expected from her； as she is childless。
He was dismissed at length； and the whole affair occasioned so
much scandal； that the mistress dared not take him back； even if
she had wished it。 She has since hired another servant； with whom；
they say； her brother is equally displeased； and whom she is likely
to marry； but my informant assures me that he himself is determined
not to survive such a catastrophe。
This story is neither exaggerated nor embellished： indeed； I have
weakened and impaired it in the narration； by the necessity of
using the more refined e
