the sorrows of young werther(少年维特的烦恼)-第16章
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or imbecility； and always； according to their own account； with
the best intentions！〃 I could often beseech them； on my bended
knees； to be less resolved upon their own destruction。
FEBRUARY 17。
I fear that my ambassador and I shall not continue much longer
together。 He is really growing past endurance。 He transacts
his business in so ridiculous a manner； that I am often compelled
to contradict him； and do things my own way； and then； of course；
he thinks them very ill done。 He complained of me lately on this
account at court； and the minister gave me a reprimand； a
gentle one it is true； but still a reprimand。 In consequence of
this； I was about to tender my resignation； when I received a
letter； to which I submitted with great respect； on account of the
high； noble； and generous spirit which dictated it。 He endeavoured
to soothe my excessive sensibility； paid a tribute to my extreme
ideas of duty； of good example； and of perseverance in business；
as the fruit of my youthful ardour； an impulse which he did not
seek to destroy； but only to moderate； that it might have proper
play and be productive of good。 So now I am at rest for another
week； and no longer at variance with myself。 Content and peace
of mind are valuable things： I could wish； my dear friend； that
these precious jewels were less transitory。
FERRUARY 20。
God bless you； my dear friends； and may he grant you that happiness
which he denies to me！
I thank you； Albert； for having deceived me。 I waited for the
news that your wedding…day was fixed； and I intended on that day；
with solemnity； to take down Charlotte's profile from the wall；
and to bury it with some other papers I possess。 You are now
united； and her picture still remains here。 Well； let it remain！
Why should it not？ I know that I am still one of your society；
that I still occupy a place uninjured in Charlotte's heart； that
I hold the second place therein； and I intend to keep it。 Oh； I
should become mad if she could forget！ Albert； that thought is
hell！ Farewell； Albert farewell； angel of heaven farewell； Charlotte！
MARCH 15。
I have just had a sad adventure； which will drive me away from
here。 I lose all patience！ Death！ It is not to be remedied；
and you alone are to blame； for you urged and impelled me to fill
a post for which I was by no means suited。 I have now reason to
be satisfied； and so have you！ But； that you may not again attribute
this fatality to my impetuous temper； I send you； my dear sir； a
plain and simple narration of the affair； as a mere chronicler of
facts would describe it。
The Count of O likes and distinguishes me。 It is well known；
and I have mentioned this to you a hundred times。 Yesterday I
dined with him。 It is the day on which the nobility are accustomed
to assemble at his house in the evening。 I never once thought of
the assembly； nor that we subalterns did not belong to such society。
Well； I dined with the count； and； after dinner； we adjourned to
the large hall。 We walked up and down together： and I conversed
with him； and with Colonel B； who joined us； and in this manner
the hour for the assembly approached。 God knows； I was thinking
of nothing； when who should enter but the honourable Lady accompanied
by her noble husband and their silly； scheming daughter； with her
small waist and flat neck； and； with disdainful looks and a haughty
air they passed me by。 As I heartily detest the whole race； I
determined upon going away； and only waited till the count had
disengaged himself from their impertinent prattle； to take leave；
when the agreeable Miss B came in。 As I never meet her without
experiencing a heartfelt pleasure； I stayed and talked to her；
leaning over the back of her chair； and did not perceive； till
after some time； that she seemed a little confused； and ceased to
answer me with her usual ease of manner。 I was struck with it。
〃Heavens！〃 I said to myself； 〃can she； too； be like the rest？〃 I
felt annoyed； and was about to withdraw； but I remained；
notwithstanding； forming excuses for her conduct； fancying she did
not mean it； and still hoping to receive some friendly recognition。
The rest of the company now arrived。 There was the Baron F ； in
an entire suit that dated from the coronation of Francis I。； the
Chancellor N； with his deaf wife； the shabbily…dressed I； whose
old…fashioned coat bore evidence of modern repairs： this crowned
the whole。 I conversed with some of my acquaintances； but they
answered me laconically。 I was engaged in observing Miss B； and
did not notice that the women were whispering at the end of the
room； that the murmur extended by degrees to the men； that Madame
S addressed the count with much warmth （this was all related to
me subsequently by Miss B）； till at length the count came up to
me； and took me to the window。 〃You know our ridiculous customs；〃
he said。 〃I perceive the company is rather displeased at your
being here。 I would not on any account〃 〃I beg your excellency's
pardon！〃 I exclaimed。 〃I ought to have thought of this before；
but I know you will forgive this little inattention。 I was going；〃
I added； 〃some time ago； but my evil genius detained me。〃 And I
smiled and bowed； to take my leave。 He shook me by the hand； in
a manner which expressed everything。 I hastened at once from the
illustrious assembly； sprang into a carriage； and drove to M。
I contemplated the setting sun from the top of the hill； and read
that beautiful passage in Homer； where Ulysses is entertained by
the hospitable herdsmen。 This was indeed delightful。
I returned home to supper in the evening。 But few persons were
assembled in the room。 They had turned up a corner of the table…cloth；
and were playing at dice。 The good…natured A came in。 He laid
down his hat when he saw me； approached me； and said in a low tone；
〃You have met with a disagreeable adventure。〃 〃I！〃 I exclaimed。
〃The count obliged you to withdraw from the assembly！〃 〃Deuce
take the assembly！〃 said I。 〃I was very glad to be gone。〃 〃I am
delighted；〃 he added； 〃that you take it so lightly。 I am only
sorry that it is already so much spoken of。〃 The circumstance
then began to pain me。 I fancied that every one who sat down； and
even looked at me； was thinking of this incident； and my heart
became embittered。
And now I could plunge a dagger into my bosom； when I hear myself
everywhere pitied； and observe the triumph of my enemies； who say
that this is always the case with vain persons； whose heads are
turned with conceit； who affect to despise forms and such petty；
idle nonsense。
Say what you will of fortitude； but show me the man who can patiently
endure the laughter of fools； when they have obtained an advantage
over him。 'Tis only when their nonsense is without foundation
that one can suffer it without complaint。
March 16。
Everything conspires against me。 I met Miss B walking to…day。
I could not help joining her； and； when we were at a little distance
from her companions； I expressed my sense of her altered manner
toward me。 〃O Werther！〃 she said； in a tone of emotion； 〃you； who
know my heart； how could you so ill interpret my distress？ What
did I not suffer for you； from the moment you entered the room！
I foresaw it all； a hundred times was I on the point of mentioning
it to you。 I knew that the Ss and Ts； with their husbands；
would quit the room； rather than remain in your company。 I knew
that the count would not break with them： and now so much is said
about it。〃 〃How！〃 I exclaimed； and endeavoured to conceal my
emotion； for all that Adelin had mentioned to me yesterday recurred
to me painfully at that moment。 〃Oh； how much it has already cost
me！〃 said this amiable girl； while her eyes filled with tears。 I
could scarcely contain myself； and was ready to throw myself at
her feet。 〃Explain yourself！〃 I cried。 Tears flowed down her
cheeks。 I became quite frantic。 She wiped them away； without
attempting to conceal them。 〃You know my aunt；〃 she continued；
〃she was present： and in what light does she consider the affair！
Last night； and this morning； Werther； I was compelled to listen
to a
