last-第2章

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and　brighten　its　horizon。　　In　some　of　these　gusts　of　bad　weather；　



Mr　Tappertit　would；　in　the　assertion　of　his　prerogative；　so　far　



forget　himself；　as　to　correct　his　lady　with　a　brush；　or　boot；　or　



shoe；　while　she　（but　only　in　extreme　cases）　would　retaliate　by　



taking　off　his　legs；　and　leaving　him　exposed　to　the　derision　of　



those　urchins　who　delight　in　mischief。







Miss　Miggs；　baffled　in　all　her　schemes；　matrimonial　and　otherwise；　



and　cast　upon　a　thankless；　undeserving　world；　turned　very　sharp　and　



sour；　and　did　at　length　become　so　acid；　and　did　so　pinch　and　slap　



and　tweak　the　hair　and　noses　of　the　youth　of　Golden　Lion　Court；　



that　she　was　by　one　consent　expelled　that　sanctuary；　and　desired　to　



bless　some　other　spot　of　earth；　in　preference。　　It　chanced　at　that　



moment；　that　the　justices　of　the　peace　for　Middlesex　proclaimed　by　



public　placard　that　they　stood　in　need　of　a　female　turnkey　for　the　



County　Bridewell；　and　appointed　a　day　and　hour　for　the　inspection　



of　candidates。　　Miss　Miggs　attending　at　the　time　appointed；　was　



instantly　chosen　and　selected　from　one　hundred　and　twenty…four　



competitors；　and　at　once　promoted　to　the　office；　which　she　held　



until　her　decease；　more　than　thirty　years　afterwards；　remaining　



single　all　that　time。　　It　was　observed　of　this　lady　that　while　she　



was　inflexible　and　grim　to　all　her　female　flock；　she　was　



particularly　so　to　those　who　could　establish　any　claim　to　beauty：　



and　it　was　often　remarked　as　a　proof　of　her　indomitable　virtue　and　



severe　chastity；　that　to　such　as　had　been　frail　she　showed　no　



mercy；　always　falling　upon　them　on　the　slightest　occasion；　or　on　no　



occasion　at　all；　with　the　fullest　measure　of　her　wrath。　　Among　



other　useful　inventions　which　she　practised　upon　this　class　of　



offenders　and　bequeathed　to　posterity；　was　the　art　of　inflicting　an　



exquisitely　vicious　poke　or　dig　with　the　wards　of　a　key　in　the　



small　of　the　back；　near　the　spine。　　She　likewise　originated　a　mode　



of　treading　by　accident　（in　pattens）　on　such　as　had　small　feet；　



also　very　remarkable　for　its　ingenuity；　and　previously　quite　



unknown。







It　was　not　very　long；　you　may　be　sure；　before　Joe　Willet　and　Dolly　



Varden　were　made　husband　and　wife；　and　with　a　handsome　sum　in　bank　



（for　the　locksmith　could　afford　to　give　his　daughter　a　good　dowry）；　



reopened　the　Maypole。　　It　was　not　very　long；　you　may　be　sure；　



before　a　red…faced　little　boy　was　seen　staggering　about　the　Maypole　



passage；　and　kicking　up　his　heels　on　the　green　before　the　door。　　It　



was　not　very　long；　counting　by　years；　before　there　was　a　red…faced　



little　girl；　another　red…faced　little　boy；　and　a　whole　troop　of　



girls　and　boys：　so　that；　go　to　Chigwell　when　you　would；　there　would　



surely　be　seen；　either　in　the　village　street；　or　on　the　green；　or　



frolicking　in　the　farm…yardfor　it　was　a　farm　now；　as　well　as　a　



tavernmore　small　Joes　and　small　Dollys　than　could　be　easily　



counted。　　It　was　not　a　very　long　time　before　these　appearances　



ensued；　but　it　WAS　a　VERY　long　time　before　Joe　looked　five　years　



older；　or　Dolly　either；　or　the　locksmith　either；　or　his　wife　



either：　for　cheerfulness　and　content　are　great　beautifiers；　and　



are　famous　preservers　of　youthful　looks；　depend　upon　it。







It　was　a　long　time；　too；　before　there　was　such　a　country　inn　as　the　



Maypole；　in　all　England：　indeed　it　is　a　great　question　whether　



there　has　ever　been　such　another　to　this　hour；　or　ever　will　be。　　It　



was　a　long　time　toofor　Never；　as　the　proverb　says；　is　a　long　day



before　they　forgot　to　have　an　interest　in　wounded　soldiers　at　the　



Maypole；　or　before　Joe　omitted　to　refresh　them；　for　the　sake　of　his　



old　campaign；　or　before　the　serjeant　left　off　looking　in　there；　now　



and　then；　or　before　they　fatigued　themselves；　or　each　other；　by　



talking　on　these　occasions　of　battles　and　sieges；　and　hard　weather　



and　hard　service；　and　a　thousand　things　belonging　to　a　soldier's　



life。　　As　to　the　great　silver　snuff…box　which　the　King　sent　Joe　



with　his　own　hand；　because　of　his　conduct　in　the　Riots；　what　guest　



ever　went　to　the　Maypole　without　putting　finger　and　thumb　into　that　



box；　and　taking　a　great　pinch；　though　he　had　never　taken　a　pinch　of　



snuff　before；　and　almost　sneezed　himself　into　convulsions　even　



then？　　As　to　the　purple…faced　vintner；　where　is　the　man　who　lived　



in　those　times　and　never　saw　HIM　at　the　Maypole：　to　all　appearance　



as　much　at　home　in　the　best　room；　as　if　he　lived　there？　　And　as　to　



the　feastings　and　christenings；　and　revellings　at　Christmas；　and　



celebrations　of　birthdays；　wedding…days；　and　all　manner　of　days；　



both　at　the　Maypole　and　the　Golden　Key；if　they　are　not　notorious；　



what　facts　are？







Mr　Willet　the　elder；　having　been　by　some　extraordinary　means　



possessed　with　the　idea　that　Joe　wanted　to　be　married；　and　that　it　



would　be　well　for　him；　his　father；　to　retire　into　private　life；　and　



enable　him　to　live　in　comfort；　took　up　his　abode　in　a　small　cottage　



at　Chigwell；　where　they　widened　and　enlarged　the　fireplace　for　him；　



hung　up　the　boiler；　and　furthermore　planted　in　the　little　garden　



outside　the　front…door；　a　fictitious　Maypole；　so　that　he　was　quite　



at　home　directly。　　To　this；　his　new　habitation；　Tom　Cobb；　Phil　



Parkes；　and　Solomon　Daisy　went　regularly　every　night：　and　in　the　



chimney…corner；　they　all　four　quaffed；　and　smoked；　and　prosed；　and　



dozed；　as　they　had　done　of　old。　　It　being　accidentally　discovered　



after　a　short　time　that　Mr　Willet　still　appeared　to　consider　



himself　a　landlord　by　profession；　Joe　provided　him　with　a　slate；　



upon　which　the　old　man　regularly　scored　up　vast　accounts　for　meat；　



drink；　and　tobacco。　　As　he　grew　older　this　passion　increased　upon　



him；　and　it　became　his　delight　to　chalk　against　the　name　of　each　of　



his　cronies　a　sum　of　enormous　magnitude；　and　impossible　to　be　paid：　



and　such　was　his　secret　joy　in　these　entries；　that　he　would　be　



perpetually　seen　going　behind　the　door　to　look　at　them；　and　coming　



forth　again；　suffused　with　the　liveliest　satisfaction。







He　never　recovered　the　surprise　the　Rioters　had　given　him；　and　



remained　in　the　same　mental　condition　down　to　the　last　moment　of　



his　life。　　It　was　like　to　have　been　brought　to　a　speedy　



termination　by　the　first　sight　of　his　first　grandchild；　which　



appeared　to　fill　him　with　the　belief　that　some　alarming　miracle　had　



happened　to　Joe。　　Being　promptly　blooded；　however；　by　a　skilful　



surgeon；　he　rallied；　and　although　the　doctors　all　agreed；　on　his　



being　attacked　with　symptoms　of　apoplexy　six　months　afterwards；　



that　he　ought　to　die；　and　took　it　very　ill　that　he　did　not；　he　



remained　alivepossibly　on　account　of　his　constitutional　slowness



for　nearly　seven　years　more；　when　he　was　one　morning　found　



speechless　in　his　bed。　　He　lay　in　this　state；　free　from　all　tokens　



of　uneasiness；　for　a　whole　week；　when　he　was　suddenly　restored　to　



consciousness　by　hearing　the　nurse　whisper　in　his　son's　ear　that　he　



was　going。　　'I'm　a…going；　Joseph；'　said　Mr　Willet；　turning　round　



upon　the　instant；　'to　the　Salwanners'and　immediately　gave　up　



the　ghost。







He　left　a　large　sum　of　money　behind　him；　even　more　than　he　was　



supposed　to　have　been　worth；　although　the　neighbours；　according　to　



the　custom　of　mankind　in　calculating　the　wealth　that　other　people　



ought　to　have　saved；　had　estimated　his　property　in　good　round　



numbers。　　Joe　inherited　the　whole；　so　that　he　became　a　man　of　great　



consequence　in　those　parts；　and　was　perfectly　independent。







Some　time　elapsed　before　Barnaby　got　t