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第20章

worldly ways and byways(世俗之路)-第20章

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small summer hotel where I met them; they were living in dreary little ten 

by twelve foot rooms; containing only the absolute necessities of existence; 

a   wash…stand;   a    bureau;   two   chairs    and   a  bed。   And   such   a   bed!  One 

mattress   about   four   inches   thick   over   squeaking   slats;   cotton   sheets;   so 



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nicely calculated to the size of the bed that the slightest move on the part 

of    the  sleeper    would     detach     them    from    their   moorings      and    undo    the 

housemaid's work; two limp; discouraged pillows that had evidently been 

〃banting;〃   and   a   few   towels   a   foot   long   with   a   surface   like   sand…paper; 

completed   the   fittings   of   the   room。   Baths   were   unknown;  and   hot   water 

was a luxury distributed sparingly by a capricious handmaiden。 It is only 

fair   to   add   that   everything   in   the   room   was   perfectly   clean;   as   was   the 

coarse table linen in the dining room。 

     The meals were in harmony with the rooms and furniture; consisting 

only   of   the   strict   necessities;   cooked   with   a   Spartan   disregard   for   such 

sybarite foibles as seasoning or dressing。 I believe there was a substantial 

meal   somewhere   in   the   early   morning   hours;   but   I   never   succeeded   in 

getting down in time to inspect it。 By successful bribery; I induced one of 

the village belles; who served at table; to bring a cup of coffee to my room。 

The   first   morning   it   appeared   already  poured  out   in   the   cup;   with   sugar 

and cold milk added at her discretion。 At one o'clock a dinner was served; 

consisting of soup (occasionally); one meat dish and attendant vegetables; 

a meagre dessert; and nothing else。 At half…past six there was an equally 

rudimentary meal; called 〃tea;〃 after which no further food was distributed 

to   the   inmates;   who   all;   however;   seemed   perfectly   contented   with   this 

arrangement。   In   fact   they   apparently   looked   on   the   act   of   eating   as   a 

disagreeable task; to be hurried through as soon as possible that they might 

return to their aimless rocking and chattering。 

     Instead   of   dinner   hour   being   the   feature   of   the   day;   uniting   people 

around   an   attractive   table;   and   attended   by   conversation;   and   the   meal 

lasting   long   enough   for   one's   food   to   be   properly   eaten;   it   was   rushed 

through as though we were all trying to catch a train。 Then; when the meal 

was over; the boarders relapsed into apathy again。 

     No   one   ever   called   this   hospitable   home   a   boarding…house;   for   the 

proprietor was furious if it was given that name。 He also scorned the idea 

of   keeping   a   hotel。   So   that   I   never   quite   understood   in   what   relation   he 

stood toward us。 He certainly considered himself our host; and ignored the 

financial side of the question severely。 In order not to hurt his feelings by 

speaking   to   him  of   money;   we   were   obliged   to   get   our   bills   by   strategy 



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from     a  male     subordinate。      Mine    host   and    his   family    were    apparently 

unaware that there were people under their roof who paid them for board 

and lodging。 We were all looked upon as guests and 〃entertained;〃 and our 

rights impartially ignored。 

     Nothing;   I   find;   is   so   distinctive   of   New   England   as   this   graceful 

veiling of the practical side of life。 The landlady always reminded me; by 

her manner; of Barrie's description of the bill… sticker's wife who 〃cut〃 her 

husband   when   she   chanced   to   meet   him   〃professionally〃   engaged。 As   a 

result of this extreme detachment from things material; the house ran itself; 

or was run by incompetent Irish and negro 〃help。〃 There were no bells in 

the rooms; which simplified the service; and nothing could be ordered out 

of meal hours。 

     The     material     defects     in  board     and    lodging     sink;    however;      into 

insignificance        before     the    moral     and     social    unpleasantness        of    an 

establishment   such   as   this。   All   ages;   all   conditions;   and   all   creeds   are 

promiscuously   huddled   together。   It   is   impossible   to   choose   whom   one 

shall know or whom avoid。 A horrible burlesque of family life is enabled; 

with all its inconveniences and none of its sanctity。 People from different 

cities;    with   different    interests    and   standards;     are   expected      to  〃chum〃 

together   in   an   intimacy   that   begins   with   the   eight   o'clock   breakfast   and 

ends only when all retire for the night。 No privacy; no isolation is allowed。 

If   you   take   a   book   and   begin   to   read   in   a   remote   corner   of   a   parlor   or 

piazza;   some   idle   matron   or idiotic girl   will   tranquilly  invade   your   poor 

little bit of privacy and gabble of her affairs and the day's gossip。 There is 

no escape unless you mount to your ten…by… twelve cell and sit (like the 

Premiers   of   England   when   they   visit   Balmoral)   on   the   bed;   to   do   your 

writing;     for  want    of   any   other    conveniences。       Even    such    retirement     is 

resented   by   the   boarders。   You   are   thought   to   be   haughty   and   to   give 

yourself   airs   if   you   do   not   sit   for   twelve   consecutive   hours   each   day   in 

unending conversation with them。 

     When one reflects that thousands of our countrymen pass at least one… 

half of their lives in these asylums; and that thousands more in America 

know no other homes; but move from one hotel to another; while the same 

outlay   would   procure   them   cosy;   cheerful   dwellings;   it   does   seem   as   if 



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these    modern      Arabs;    Holmes's     〃Folding     Bed…    ouins;〃   were    gradually 

returning      to    prehistoric     habits    and    would      end    by    eating     roots 

promiscuously in caves。 

     The contradiction appears more marked the longer one reflects on the 

love of independence and impatience of all restraint that characterize our 

race。 If such an institution had been conceived by people of the Old World; 

accustomed to moral slavery and to a thousand petty tyrannies; it would 

not be so remarkable; but that we; of all the races of the earth; should have 

created     a  form    of   torture   unknown      to   Louis    XI。   or  to  the   Spanish 

Inquisitors;     is   indeed    inexplicable!      Outside    of   this   happy     land   the 

institution   is   unknown。 The  PENSION  when   it   exists   abroad; is only  an 

exotic   growth   for   an   American   market。   Among   European   nations   it   is 

undreamed of; the poorest when they travel take furnished rooms; where 

they are served in private; or go to restaurants or TABLE D'HOTES   for 

their meals。 In a strictly continental hotel the public parlor does not exist。 

People do not travel to make acquaintances; but for health or recreation; or 

to   improve   their   minds。   The   enforced   intimacy   of   our American   family 

house;   with   its   attendant   quarrelling   and   back…biting;   is   an   infliction   of 

which Europeans are in happy ignorance。 

     One     explanation;     only;   occurs    to  me;    which    is  that   among     New 

England people;  largely  descended   from  Puritan   stock;  there  still   lingers 

some blind impulse at self…mortifica

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