liber amoris-第1章

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Liber　Amoris；　or；　The　New　Pygmalion

by　William　Hazlitt





ADVERTISEMENT





The　circumstances；　an　outline　of　which　is　given　in　these　pages；　happened　a　very　short　time　ago　to　a　native　of　North　Britain；　who　left　his　own　country　early　in　life；　in　consequence　of　political　animosities　and　an　ill…advised　connection　in　marriage。　　It　was　some　years　after　that　he　formed　the　fatal　attachment　which　is　the　subject　of　the　following　narrative。　　The　whole　was　transcribed　very　carefully　with　his　own　hand；　a　little　before　he　set　out　for　the　Continent　in　hopes　of　benefiting　by　a　change　of　scene；　but　he　died　soon　after　in　the　Netherlandsit　is　supposed；　of　disappointment　preying　on　a　sickly　frame　and　morbid　state　of　mind。　　It　was　his　wish　that　what　bad　been　his　strongest　feeling　while　living；　should　be　preserved　in　this　shape　when　he　was　no　more。It　has　been　suggested　to　the　friend；　into　whose　hands　the　manuscript　was　entrusted；　that　many　things　（particularly　in　the　Conversations　in　the　First　Part）　either　childish　or　redundant；　might　have　been　omitted；　but　a　promise　was　given　that　not　a　word　should　be　altered；　and　the　pledge　was　held　sacred。　　The　names　and　circumstances　are　so　far　disguised；　it　is　presumed；　as　to　prevent　any　consequences　resulting　from　the　publication；　farther　than　the　amusement　or　sympathy　of　the　reader。




PART　I




THE　PICTURE




H。　　Oh！　is　it　you？　　I　had　something　to　shew　youI　have　got　a　picture　here。　　Do　you　know　any　one　it's　like？

S。　　No；　Sir。

H。　　Don't　you　think　it　like　yourself？

S。　　No：　it's　much　handsomer　than　I　can　pretend　to　be。

H。　　That's　because　you　don't　see　yourself　with　the　same　eyes　that　others　do。　　I　don't　think　it　handsomer；　and　the　expression　is　hardly　so　fine　as　yours　sometimes　is。

S。　　Now　you　flatter　me。　　Besides；　the　complexion　is　fair；　and　mine　is　dark。

H。　　Thine　is　pale　and　beautiful；　my　love；　not　dark！　　But　if　your　colour　were　a　little　heightened；　and　you　wore　the　same　dress；　and　your　hair　were　let　down　over　your　shoulders；　as　it　is　here；　it　might　be　taken　for　a　picture　of　you。　　Look　here；　only　see　how　like　it　is。　　The　forehead　is　like；　with　that　little　obstinate　protrusion　in　the　middle；　the　eyebrows　are　like；　and　the　eyes　are　just　like　yours；　when　you　look　up　and　say〃Nonever！〃

S。　　What　then；　do　I　always　say〃Nonever！〃　when　I　look　up？

H。　　I　don't　know　about　thatI　never　heard　you　say　so　but　once；　but　that　was　once　too　often　for　my　peace。　　It　was　when　you　told　me；　〃you　could　never　be　mine。〃　　Ah！　if　you　are　never　to　be　mine；　I　shall　not　long　be　myself。　　I　cannot　go　on　as　I　am。　　My　faculties　leave　me：　I　think　of　nothing；　I　have　no　feeling　about　any　thing　but　thee：　thy　sweet　image　has　taken　possession　of　me；　haunts　me；　and　will　drive　me　to　distraction。　　Yet　I　could　almost　wish　to　go　mad　for　thy　sake：　for　then　I　might　fancy　that　I　had　thy　love　in　return；　which　I　cannot　live　without！

S。　　Do　not；　I　beg；　talk　in　that　manner；　but　tell　me　what　this　is　a　picture　of。

H。　　I　hardly　know；　but　it　is　a　very　small　and　delicate　copy　（painted　in　oil　on　a　gold　ground）　of　some　fine　old　Italian　picture；　Guido's　or　Raphael's；　but　I　think　Raphael's。　　Some　say　it　is　a　Madonna；　others　call　it　a　Magdalen；　and　say　you　may　distinguish　the　tear　upon　the　cheek；　though　no　tear　is　there。　　But　it　seems　to　me　more　like　Raphael's　St。　Cecilia；　〃with　looks　commercing　with　the　skies；〃　than　anything　else。See；　Sarah；　how　beautiful　it　is！　　Ah！　dear　girl；　these　are　the　ideas　I　have　cherished　in　my　heart；　and　in　my　brain；　and　I　never　found　any　thing　to　realise　them　on　earth　till　I　met　with　thee；　my　love！　　While　thou　didst　seem　sensible　of　my　kindness；　I　was　but　too　happy：　but　now　thou　hast　cruelly　cast　me　off。

S。　　You　have　no　reason　to　say　so：　you　are　the　same　to　me　as　ever。

H。　　That　is；　nothing。　　You　are　to　me　everything；　and　I　am　nothing　to　you。　　Is　it　not　too　true？

S。　　No。

H。　　Then　kiss　me；　my　sweetest。　　Oh！　could　you　see　your　face　nowyour　mouth　full　of　suppressed　sensibility；　your　downcast　eyes；　the　soft　blush　upon　that　cheek；　you　would　not　say　the　picture　is　not　like　because　it　is　too　handsome；　or　because　you　want　complexion。　　Thou　art　heavenly…fair；　my　lovelike　her　from　whom　the　picture　was　takenthe　idol　of　the　painter's　heart；　as　thou　art　of　mine！　　Shall　I　make　a　drawing　of　it；　altering　the　dress　a　little；　to　shew　you　how　like　it　is？

S。　　As　you　please。



THE　INVITATION





H。　　But　I　am　afraid　I　tire　you　with　this　prosing　description　of　the　French　character　and　abuse　of　the　English？　　You　know　there　is　but　one　subject　on　which　I　should　ever　wish　to　talk；　if　you　would　let　me。

S。　　I　must　say；　you　don't　seem　to　have　a　very　high　opinion　of　this　country。

H。　　Yes；　it　is　the　place　that　gave　you　birth。

S。　　Do　you　like　the　French　women　better　than　the　English？

H。　　No：　though　they　have　finer　eyes；　talk　better；　and　are　better　made。　　But　they　none　of　them　look　like　you。　　I　like　the　Italian　women　I　have　seen；　much　better　than　the　French：　they　have　darker　eyes；　darker　hair；　and　the　accents　of　their　native　tongue　are　much　richer　and　more　melodious。　　But　I　will　give　you　a　better　account　of　them　when　I　come　back　from　Italy；　if　you　would　like　to　hear　it。

S。　　I　should　much。　　It　is　for　that　I　have　sometimes　had　a　wish　for　travelling　abroad；　to　understand　something　of　the　manners　and　characters　of　different　people。

H。　　My　sweet　girl！　　I　will　give　you　the　best　account　I　canunless　you　would　rather　go　and　judge　for　yourself。

S。　　I　cannot。

H。　　Yes；　you　shall　go　with　me；　and　you　shall　go　WITH　HONOURyou　know　what　I　mean

S。　　You　know　it　is　not　in　your　power　to　take　me　so。

H。　　But　it　soon　may：　and　if　you　would　consent　to　bear　me　company；　I　would　swear　never　to　think　of　an　Italian　woman　while　I　am　abroad；　nor　of　an　English　one　after　I　return　home。　　Thou　art　to　me　more　than　thy　whole　sex。

S。　　I　require　no　such　sacrifices。

H。　　Is　that　what　you　thought　I　meant　by　SACRIFICES　last　night？　　But　sacrifices　are　no　sacrifices　when　they　are　repaid　a　thousand　fold。

S。　　I　have　no　way　of　doing　it。

H。　　You　have　not　the　will。

S。　　I　must　go　now。

H。　　Stay；　and　hear　me　a　little。　　I　shall　soon　be　where　I　can　no　more　hear　thy　voice；　far　distant　from　her　I　love；　to　see　what　change　of　climate　and　bright　skies　will　do　for　a　sad　heart。　　I　shall　perhaps　see　thee　no　more；　but　I　shall　still　think　of　thee　the　same　as　everI　shall　say　to　myself；　〃Where　is　she　now？what　is　she　doing？〃　　But　I　shall　hardly　wish　you　to　think　of　me；　unless　you　could　do　so　more　favourably　than　I　am　afraid　you　will。　　Ah！　dearest　creature；　I　shall　be　〃far　distant　from　you；〃　as　you　once　said　of　another；　but　you　will　not　think　of　me　as　of　him；　〃with　the　sincerest　affection。〃　　The　smallest　share　of　thy　tenderness　would　make　me　blest；　but　couldst　thou　ever　love　me　as　thou　didst　him；　I　should　feel　like　a　God！　　My　face　would　change　to　a　different　expression：　my　whole　form　would　undergo　alteration。　　I　was　getting　well；　I　was　growing　young　in　the　sweet　proofs　of　your　friendship：　you　see　how　I　droop　and　wither　under　your　displeasure！　　Thou　art　divine；　my　love；　and　canst　make　me　either　more　or　less　than　mortal。　　Indeed　I　am　thy　creature；　thy　slaveI　only　wish　to　live　for　your　sakeI　would　gladly　die　for　you

S。　　That　would　give　me　no　pleasure。　　But　indeed　you　greatly　overrate　my　power。

H。　　Your　power　over　me　is　that　of　sovereign　grace　and　beauty。　　When　I　am　near　thee；　nothing　can　harm　me。　　Thou　art　an　angel　of　light；　shadowing　me　with　thy　softness。　　But　when　I　let　go　thy　hand；　I　stagger　on　a　precipice：　out　of　thy　sight　the　world　is　dark　to　me　and　comfortless。　　There　is　no　breathing　out　of　this　house：　the　air　of　Italy　will　stifle　me。　　Go　with　me　and　lighten　it。　　I　can　know　no　pleasure　away　from　thee

〃But　I　will　come　again；　my　love；　An'　it　were　ten　thousand　mile！〃



THE　MESSAGE





S。　　Mrs。　E　has　called　for　the　book；　Sir。

H。　　Oh！　it　is　there。　　Let　her　wait　a　minute　or　two。　　I　see　this　is　a　busy…day　with　you。　　How　beautiful　your　arms　look　in　those　short　sleeves！

S。　　I　do　not　like　to　wear　them。

H。　　Then　that　is　because　you　are　merciful；　and　would　spare　frail　mortals　who　might　die　with　gazing。

S。　　I　have　no　power　to　kill。

H。　　You　have；　you　haveYour　charms　are　irresistible　as　you