lay morals-第46章
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consolation； or I would bring them to my kind consoler。 Let the memory of that letter； if you please； be buried。' And then as she continued to gaze at him； being； in spite of herself； pained by his elaborate phrase； doubtfully sincere in word and manner： 'Let it be enough；' he added haughtily； 'that if this matter wring my heart； it doth not touch my conscience。 I am a man； I would have you to know； who suffers undeservedly。'
He had never spoken so directly： never with so convincing an emotion； and her heart thrilled for him。 She could have taken his pains and died of them with joy。
Meanwhile she was left without support。 Jonathan now swore by his lodger； and lived for him。 He was a fine talker。 He knew the finest sight of stories； he was a man and a gentleman； take him for all in all； and a perfect credit to Old England。 Such were the old man's declared sentiments； and sure enough he clung to Mr。 Archer's side； hung upon his utterance when he spoke； and watched him with unwearing interest when he was silent。 And yet his feeling was not clear； in the partial wreck of his mind； which was leaning to decay； some after…thought was strongly present。 As he gazed in Mr。 Archer's face a sudden brightness would kindle in his rheumy eyes； his eye…brows would lift as with a sudden thought； his mouth would open as though to speak； and close again on silence。 Once or twice he even called Mr。 Archer mysteriously forth into the dark courtyard； took him by the button； and laid a demonstrative finger on his chest； but there his ideas or his courage failed him； he would shufflingly excuse himself and return to his position by the fire without a word of explanation。 'The good man was growing old；' said Mr。 Archer with a suspicion of a shrug。 But the good man had his idea； and even when he was alone the name of Mr。 Archer fell from his lips continually in the course of mumbled and gesticulative conversation。
THE GREAT NORTH ROAD CHAPTER VI … THE BAD HALF…CROWN
HOWEVER early Nance arose； and she was no sluggard； the old man； who had begun to outlive the earthly habit of slumber； would usually have been up long before； the fire would be burning brightly； and she would see him wandering among the ruins； lantern in hand； and talking assiduously to himself。 One day； however； after he had returned late from the market town； she found that she had stolen a march upon that indefatigable early riser。 The kitchen was all blackness。 She crossed the castle…yard to the wood…cellar； her steps printing the thick hoarfrost。 A scathing breeze blew out of the north…east and slowly carried a regiment of black and tattered clouds over the face of heaven； which was already kindled with the wild light of morning； but where she walked； in shelter of the ruins； the flame of her candle burned steady。 The extreme cold smote upon her conscience。 She could not bear to think this bitter business fell usually to the lot of one so old as Jonathan； and made desperate resolutions to be earlier in the future。
The fire was a good blaze before he entered； limping dismally into the kitchen。 'Nance；' said he； 'I be all knotted up with the rheumatics； will you rub me a bit？' She came and rubbed him where and how he bade her。 'This is a cruel thing that old age should be rheumaticky；' said he。 'When I was young I stood my turn of the teethache like a man！ for why？ because it couldn't last for ever； but these rheumatics come to live and die with you。 Your aunt was took before the time came； never had an ache to mention。 Now I lie all night in my single bed and the blood never warms in me； this knee of mine it seems like lighted up with rheumatics； it seems as though you could see to sew by it； and all the strings of my old body ache； as if devils was pulling 'em。 Thank you kindly； that's someways easier now； but an old man； my dear； has little to look for； it's pain； pain； pain to the end of the business； and I'll never be rightly warm again till I get under the sod；' he said； and looked down at her with a face so aged and weary that she had nearly wept。
'I lay awake all night；' he continued； 'I do so mostly； and a long walk kills me。 Eh； deary me； to think that life should run to such a puddle！ And I remember long syne when I was strong； and the blood all hot and good about me； and I loved to run； too … deary me； to run！ Well； that's all by。 You'd better pray to be took early； Nance； and not live on till you get to be like me； and are robbed in your grey old age； your cold； shivering； dark old age； that's like a winter's morning'； and he bitterly shuddered； spreading his hands before the fire。
'Come now；' said Nance； 'the more you say the less you'll like it； Uncle Jonathan； but if I were you I would be proud for to have lived all your days honest and beloved； and come near the end with your good name： isn't that a fine thing to be proud of？ Mr。 Archer was telling me in some strange land they used to run races each with a lighted candle； and the art was to keep the candle burning。 Well； now； I thought that was like life： a man's good conscience is the flame he gets to carry； and if he comes to the winning…post with that still burning； why； take it how you will； the man's a hero … even if he was low…born like you and me。'
'Did Mr。 Archer tell you that？' asked Jonathan。
'No； dear；' said she； 'that's my own thought about it。 He told me of the race。 But see； now；' she continued； putting on the porridge； 'you say old age is a hard season； but so is youth。 You're half out of the battle； I would say； you loved my aunt and got her； and buried her； and some of these days soon you'll go to meet her； and take her my love and tell her I tried to take good care of you； for so I do； Uncle Jonathan。'
Jonathan struck with his fist upon the settle。 'D' ye think I want to die； ye vixen？' he shouted。 'I want to live ten hundred years。'
This was a mystery beyond Nance's penetration； and she stared in wonder as she made the porridge。
'I want to live；' he continued； 'I want to live and to grow rich。 I want to drive my carriage and to dice in hells and see the ring； I do。 Is this a life that I lived？ I want to be a rake； d' ye understand？ I want to know what things are like。 I don't want to die like a blind kitten； and me seventy…six。'
'O fie！' said Nance。
The old man thrust out his jaw at her； with the grimace of an irreverent schoolboy。 Upon that aged face it seemed a blasphemy。 Then he took out of his bosom a long leather purse； and emptying its contents on the settle； began to count and recount the pieces； ringing and examining each； and suddenly he leapt like a young man。 'What！' he screamed。 'Bad？ O Lord！ I'm robbed again！' And falling on his knees before the settle he began to pour forth the most dreadful curses on the head of his deceiver。 His eyes were shut； for to him this vile solemnity was prayer。 He held up the bad half…crown in his right hand； as though he were displaying it to Heaven； and what increased the horror of the scene； the curses he invoked were those whose efficacy he had tasted … old age and poverty； rheumatism and an ungrateful son。 Nance listened appalled； then she sprang forward and dragged down his arm and laid her hand upon his mouth。
'Whist！' she cried。 'Whist ye； for God's sake！ O my man； whist ye！ If Heaven were to hear； if poor Aunt Susan were to hear！ Think； she may be listening。' And with the histrionism of strong emotion she pointed to a corner of the kitchen。
His eyes followed her finger。 He looked there for a little； thinking； blinking； then he got stiffly to his feet and resumed his place upon the settle； the bad piece still in his hand。 So he sat for some time； looking upon the half…crown； and now wondering to himself on the injustice and partiality of the law； now computing again and again the nature of his loss。 So he was still sitting when Mr。 Archer entered the kitchen。 At this a light came into his face； and after some seconds of rumination he dispatched Nance upon an errand。
'Mr。 Archer；' said he； as soon as they were alone tog
